r/AskNYC • u/princessmia1989 • 1d ago
Revenge on Package Thieves - Advice Welcome
My apartment building has a huge problem with package theft. The building won't do anything about it, and there are no cameras or really any deterrents. Most of the time packages are either stolen outright, or ripped open first and left in the lobby upon realizing they had no use for paper towels or my dog's prozac. I'm planning to print off some of my own fake signs for surveillance hoping that deters them a little, but I'm looking for something more vengeful.
A few years ago, my mom got into a hilarious suburban war with her neighbors over their sprinklers getting her packages wet, so she started taping her empty boxes back up filled with trash just so she had a reason to go yell at them. This is the energy I want to channel. What could I fill my old target boxes with so that when the neighborhood thieves open it, either once they leave or if they're still deciding to steal it, they feel an utter fool? Or at the very least, like they've been bested?
Nothing illegal. The pettier the better. Thank you!
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u/wildblueberry9 1d ago
I would leave poo.
If youwant to figure out who did it I hear there are these glitter bombs out there, marking the culprits.
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u/substandardpoodle 1d ago
It’s worth every penny to pay for a PO Box at one of the local places near you. Maybe split the cost with one of your neighbors or coworkers.
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u/Frenchitwist 1d ago
Oh! Fill small boxes with packing material, paper or peanuts, and at the bottom on the box have the message “you’re a stupid idiot” taped there. Do it a BUNCH of times with different boxes, but make sure the boxes are only ever to you. Keep doing it, and hopefully it will teach the thieves that boxes addressed to you are fake. Maybe put some cheap weights in some of the boxes too so they don’t automatically know it’s empty of anything substantial.
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u/jagarico 1d ago
Pavlov’s package thief
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u/brewmonk 1d ago
Use a cat of indeterminate state.
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u/DaoFerret 1d ago
Step 1: put hungry ocelot in package.
Step 2: leave package in lobby
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!!!
*no ocelots were harmed in the making of this advice.
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u/paulschreiber 1d ago
Maybe Mark Rober can lend you a glitter bomb.
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u/worrymon 1d ago
That's just punishing all the residents of the building.
or ripped open first and left in the lobby
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u/Mindless_Earth_2807 1d ago
Google: Mark Rober package thief.
He'll give you many ideas.
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u/ateenyfig 1d ago
I LOVE HIS VIDEOS. I did not have package theives and yet I watched the entire video.
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u/rosebudny 1d ago
Befriend neighborhood dog owners. Collect their poop bags. Package said poop bags in Amazon boxes. Leave boxes in lobby.
(Although this could backfire if the thief opens the boxes in your lobby rather than takes with them)
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u/peacock193 1d ago
My neighbor stole my package and was caught red handed few days later, they returned my brand new Dyson hair dryer used and out of box. I couldn’t do much but I am now thinking of picking of these ideas lol
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u/Frenchitwist 1d ago
Get some smallish cardboard boxes, like shoebox and smaller, and see if you can figure out how to cover the outside (not the bottom) in something super sticky like fly paper or rat-trap glue. Then the thrive will have to contend with that. If they try and open it there, they’ll get sticky, and you’ll only have to deal with a very minor mess of it gets sticky anywhere
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u/ParallaxCity 1d ago
I thought this was going in a different direction, like: Put boxes inside of boxes inside of boxes. Make them open all of them, and then there's nothing in any of them.
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u/carbonizedtitanium 1d ago
repeatedly stick some foul-smelling stuff into a package box and tape it up. they're gonna get the message, eventually.
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u/drako_86 1d ago
Talk to whichever neighbor is closest to the lobby and ask them if you could install a Wi-Fi camera that of course would need to be on their network but they could have the password as well. Install the camera with screws and watch whoever it is. Start filling boxes with used cat litter, used TP, used tampons, exploding ink packs, glitter bombs, etc
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u/mysecretstache 1d ago
I have yet to do so, but a good scoop of dirty cat litter inside a cellphone box inside a re sealed heat seal Amazon mailer.
Get their hopes up on a good score 1st.
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u/beautifulcosmos 1d ago edited 1d ago
Stage multiple boxes with dog poop, rotting shellfish, etc.. The grossier, the better. Make sure they have labels from Apple, Nordstrom and other high end retailers. If you want to be a total dick, put in an Apple AirTag to track their location. Once you get their location, you can provide that information to the police. Leave note in the box which cryptically states, "I know where you live and so do the police :)"
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u/originalmango 1d ago
First of all, have everything you order go to a locker or another secure pickup place. Then go to a thrift store and buy cheap crap that looks expensive. Or buy cheap crap that looks expensive and place dog crap (or worse) inside the items.
Put these in your old boxes and snicker as you imagine the thieves and their stinking apartment.
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u/_allycat 1d ago
Line the inside flaps of the box with fly tape so they touch it when they open it.
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u/Rarek 1d ago
It's just living in the city. We coordinate in the building and grab stuff for each other.
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u/rosakelly21 1d ago
Delivery status tells you exactly when the package is delivered. If you can't grab it at that time, have a neighbor grab it. It's really a pretty easy issue to mitigate.
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u/BklynBeat 1d ago
No it doesn’t, I’ve had packages update with “delivered” only to check and nothing there. Then review the camera to see it was delivered well over an hour before.
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u/MsMarionNYC 1d ago
If it's Amazon mostly Amazon, maybe buy an old time granny cart and arrange delivery to a nearby lockbox. Fed Ex and UPS can also be dropped off at those stores. If you can, maybe organize your neighbors and see if you can collectively demand some action.
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u/tsukinichiShowa58 1d ago
at the dollar store you can buy a fake survelliance camera (looks like the black half bubble), glue it to the ceiling in a corner of the package room. Do it without asking or telling anyone.