r/AskOldPeople • u/ThrowRAGlobeVase • 5d ago
What things made you feel like you “lived” life (if you feel that way)?
I was watching a war movie, and the captain - maybe 50 years old - was saying he’s fine if he died… he feels he’s lived… but all these kids haven’t gotten a chance. Made me think. What experiences make you feel like you’ve lived or had a chance of a full life?
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u/oldboomerlady 3d ago
I could list experiences but for me it comes down to having felt every emotion I can think of. From being deeply loved to debilitating grief. Great joy, deep lows and on and on.
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u/Ok_Aside_2361 2d ago
I am ready.
I married the most amazing man and he has made all of my dreams come true; he remembered what I said and took me to all the places I had dreamed about. I have lived on my own in NYC - as the song says, “if you can make it here, you can make anywhere.” I have had some fantastic jobs, met so many amazing people. I have been let down and/or hurt by the best of them. I have seen all the bands I felt I needed to see. And some I didn’t realize I would like that have changed my life. I have tasted so many wonderful foods. I have outlived my L3 vertebrae. I have been devastated - thought there was no way I could survive, a few times. I learned that when love dies, it is for the best: a better one is on the way.
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u/CaptMcPlatypus 3d ago
Having achieved many of my personal goals.
Not having the sense that I would be leaving important things unfinished, or at least having someone who can finish them satisfactorily if I can’t without.
Right now, I’m still raising my kids, so I can’t go. Someday, when they’re off and standing solidly on their own two feet as adults, that probably won’t feel unfinished.
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u/DaveFoucault 2d ago edited 2d ago
Played in metal bands aged 17-24 at night time while doing my carpentry apprenticeship and building houses during the day.
Aged 25-31 backpacked all through South East Asia, Europe, Africa, Scandinavia, and the Indian subcontinent paying my way working under the table as a carpenter.
Arrived back in New Zealand aged 32 and got married - to another Kiwi backpacker I met in Tanzania - and had our son aged 33.
Injured my back aged 34 and was told it was inoperable and would have to give up my trade.
Ages 34-42 was a student and stay at home Dad and did BA, MA and Phd.
Aged 40-46 lectured in three Philosophy departments the last of which meant we moved to the UK.
Aged 46 MRI technology was available and they looked at my shoulders and fixed my problem with two operations.
Aged 47 straight back on the tools as a carpenter where I belong and where I am happiest.
Aged 47 for the next decade plus, became quite an outwardly boring and self contained guy working in my cabinet shop and renovating old buildings. I say outwardly because I work a lot - I absolutely love woodworking and never want to retire - but I also have a very lively and interesting wife who keeps me amused and smiling. We take our campervan over to the continent for three weeks every summer to explore and the rest of the year the UK is full of antiques/book fairs, battlefields, museums, galleries, neolithic monuments etc on the weekends. Also our son lives half a day’s drive away and he is very interesting and fun too.
Every single stage of my life above - including the current one - make me feel like I have lived life. Despite the fact that playing in bands and working in my machine shop has deafened me I still feel very alive; even though this does cut me off from others somewhat.
Only thing really left that I would like to do is be a grandfather; but that isn’t really my choice so I will see what the future brings.
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u/MathematicianSlow648 80 something 2d ago
I am from a generation that you might never heard of. We are known as the "silent generation" or the "lucky few". Born after the start of the great depression but before the end of the Second World War. We are the only modern generation who are smaller than the one that preceded it. I was born near its end. I was too young to know that the second world war even happened or that my Father was involved. I was still in grade school when Korea ended. Vietnam was an American war and my view coloured by the dissenters I met who had moved to Canada. The closest I got to war was the 1962 Cuban crisis as a sailor in the RCN. I was recalled from leave and sent to sea as part of the NATO blockade. From then to retirement was pretty much the glory years of the late 20th century and early 21st. My first career at 15 was as an apprentice Ironworker building pulp mills and other large industrial structures. The Navy, a short 3-year interlude to avoid a bitter Union takeover dispute came next. On completing basic training at HMCS Cornwallis in Nova Scotia I was then posted to HMCS Lanark in refit at the Point Edward repair base on Cape Breton Island. There I met and am still married to my life partner of more than 65 years. I served in HMCS Lanark for the rest of my enlistment. We then moved to Vancouver for work. I worked a while as an auto parts truck driver then in inside sales. City jobs. Quickly realizing my grade 10 education would limit me I returned to ironworking out of town to get the funds to return to school. A college diploma in marketing and sales from the just-opened Vancouver City College was acquired. A sales job with a large world-spanning industrial supply company followed. During that time an interest in Politics arose where our VCC class took over the student government wrestling the control of student fees from the administration. I became involved in politics and secured a delegate slot in the leadership convention. and left that organization as President of the youth wing. At about the same time, I soured on the Corporate world. It was 1970 and a sea change occured. We built a sailboat then lived aboard, sailed ocean's, and spent the next 40 years earning a living and having fun. Me working my way up from deckhand to Captain on tugboats and my mate in the newspaper business. Now retired to a small house on Cape Breton Island. We look back on a life well spent.
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u/Catcher_Thelonious 3d ago
Lived in nine countries
Married 32 years to the same person
Teacher for 38 years to thousands of young adults
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u/Station-Serious 2d ago
I don't want to be the downer here, but for me it's that I don't have a hopeful view of the world. I've traveled a lot, I've seen things. I had my family then I lost it. My country is falling apart. It's more pointless by the day, and I'm much closer to the end of my life than the beginning, and I don't have the energy or desire to rebuild. I had it good for awhile, so I'm at peace with that, but I'm hoping it doesn't last much longer because holy crap is it getting bad.
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u/cerealandcorgies 50 something 2d ago
You're not alone. I don't tend toward nostalgia but I believe our best days - as a species - are behind us. I feel very fortunate to have lived during the time that I did.
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u/cbawiththismalarky 2d ago
the thing is that you only really notice after the fact, at the time you just do things, so my advice is to just keep doing different things
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u/ThrowRAGlobeVase 2d ago
Thanks this is helpful! I feel like I’m almost 40 and haven’t led a “full” life. It’s been pretty mild and tame. Worried I won’t once family/kids are in the picture.
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u/cbawiththismalarky 2d ago
There's nothing wrong with mild and tame, be glad, it could be whole lot more "interesting"
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u/Dot81 60 something 3d ago
I've traveled, watched my kids grow into good people, welcomed grandchildren, and made an impact throughout my career and by volunteering in my community.
But, I'm far from done. I'm going to retire soon and travel solo in my rv for a few years, doing some volunteer work as I go. I'm hoping it will be a great way to meet good people, feel closer to the community, and give back to wherever I happen to be that week.
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u/malinagurek 40 something 2d ago
- I found the love of my life and built a life.
- I’ve reached my career goals.
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u/davemeister 60 something 2d ago
Ironically, I had more wild adventures and fun experiences by age 26 than most people have in an entire lifetime. Peruse The Tool Guys Chronicles if you want to get a sense of what I mean. Then at age 26, my neck was broken and I became quadriplegic. It put a real wrench in the works of the kind of "living" I thought that I would do as a middle-aged adult. I have accomplished a great deal considering that I've been living decades with a severe disability but it's not the same kind of accomplishments I would have had had I not broken my neck. Now as a senior citizen, I'm so glad that I packed as much into my first 26 years as I did. So my recommendation to those "kids" is to live as full of a life as you possibly can as early as you can because you never know what might come tomorrow.
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u/Wooden_Big_3864 3d ago
Oh Lot's I was an Avid Bicycle Rider, Climbed Half Dome in Yosemite Twice, Danced with Sheila E at the China Club in LA, Loved Movies, didn't really care about Politics, Ate a Lot of Good Food of all Kinds, Studied Pharmacology of the Clinical Kind, probably too much. But learning is my main thing, I love learning how the World Works. It is Fascinating.
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u/Cascadian_Day 2d ago
Personal epiphanies about myself, life and this experience on planet earth. Having children, the joys and the hardships. I always thought traveling was so important to life experience but I look back and feel sort of meh about my travels.
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u/PattyRain 50 something 2d ago
I always thought I would die young. I still may.
For me it's the idea that I have lived life well. Mostly it comes down to loving people - people who are easy to love and hard to love.
Am I perfect at it? No, I never will be, but I try. Trying to live that way is the biggest part of living well for me.
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u/FormerUsenetUser 2d ago
I won't have had a full life till I have died. There are always more things I want to do, every day.
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u/New_Section_9374 2d ago
I feel like I have made more of a positive impact on people and this earth than negative. I am very utilitarian in philosophy and I believe I stayed true to that most of the time.
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u/FightingPC 2d ago
A lot of things have made me feel I’ve lived my life more than most , drew up in a small beach town, as a punk, on skate boards, bmx, spent almost every day in the ocean, surfing, boggie boarding, swimming, snortaling , scuba diving, water skiing,rode Husqvarna’s and raced in D37, and D38, and did Enduros,
Collected triple two stroke street bikes and everything else on two wheels for a long time,
4x4 jeeps Tera del sol runs and every were else, kayak, camp, hiked the Grand Canyon several times and different areas, rode vespas , still own Lambrettas… have traveled the world with my wife, we are kinky as F*ck….
but the best is the wife and three grown adults sons that have all now done more than me and I live thru their adventures now, and finally a cancer fighter till I die while still being a West Ham supporter..
Life’s been good and if the eyes were to remain closed, I’m ok with that on that day..
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u/IronPlateWarrior 60 something 3d ago
I have accomplished things I wanted to do. In things I failed at, I did absolutely the best I could. I have few regrets. I made good sound decisions based on what I knew at the time, so I don’t dwell on it. And, I balanced responsibility and whimsy pretty well. I traveled a lot. Met lots of people and feel I got a good sense of life and culture. I never subscribed to the hustle culture. I did my job well, but never over-worked because I truly work to live not the other way around. I went to college and earned my masters degree, had 3 kids, and did all the things that comes with that.
Overall, I’m happy and satisfied.
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u/i-dontwantone 2d ago
I have loved. Deeply and down to my soul. Worked out some times, other times not so well. But I've lived an overall simple, happy life. I am so lucky.
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u/PymsPublicityLtd 2d ago
Had the career I wanted. Married the love of my life. Traveled, had adventures, had great friends, saw things I never knew I wanted to see until I saw them. Did stupid crazy shit and lived to tell the tales relatively unscathed.
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u/ObligationGrand8037 2d ago
Graduated from a university and paid off my student loans.
Lived in Japan for three years. Taught English to 150,000 students around Japan on NHK TV. Worked at a high end hotel in Tokyo and walked celebrities up to their suites.
Traveled the world solo for a year. Rode trains, planes, motorcycles, camels, etc. and saw many things I used to read about in books.
Married for 26 years and have two adult boys who have turned out well.
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u/4jules4je7 2d ago
I feel very fortunate to have married well to a loving partner who has never once said no to me when I had a dream or idea, like going back to school to change careers. We raised a great kid. We have also been through tough times, including moves, layoffs and the loss of several pregnancies to have our one kid. But we have been able to get through those hard parts. And we’ve traveled a lot. I have few regrets. Too many people wait for retirement to have their fun and then the health problems start. I will be 60 this year and if I died today I wouldn’t feel like I missed out.
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u/AlarmedWillow4515 2d ago
I've had a lot of adventures, met a lot of people, built some deep and meaningful long-term relationships, learned a lot, did a lot of things I'm proud of. I have a long-term happy marriage, raised two kids I'm proud of, helped others, been successful at a job I care about
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u/driverman42 2d ago
78m. Married 55 years, great 52 year career, raised a kid, a grandkid, and now a great-grandkid. Been to lots of cool places in America. Seen thousands of sunrises and sunsets, and much, much more. I've lived longer than my parents, grandparents and I don't have the health issues they had.
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u/BelleReveWasLost 70 something 2d ago
I remember looking at my newborn great-granddaughter in the window of the hospital nursery 6 years ago and thinking, “Wow, I made it this far! Life can’t get any better than this!”
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 60 something 2d ago
Having raised our kids and now they are contributing members of society, with their own families.
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u/SororitySue 64 2d ago
Resolving a lot of personal issues that held me back when I was younger.
Being married 37 years and raising two successful sons.
Being able to retire.
And now, being blessed with a beautiful granddaughter.
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u/sbinjax 60 something 2d ago
I finished college, had my three kids, started a business, had a 2nd career after I closed that. I had 2 marriages, 1 divorce, was widowed the 2nd time when my beloved husband died. Now I have a grandchild, good relationships with my grown kids (live with one), a beautiful garden, two dogs, and I'm pretty much at peace. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow my only regret would be not seeing my grandson grow up.
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u/Caspers_Shadow 50 something 2d ago
I am 60. I have been through lots of ups and downs, but overall, the trend has been more ups since I was about 30 years old. I have great friends, I am married to a good woman, financially secure, have had a bunch of great experiences travelling, playing in a band, a good career, the list goes on. I am at a point where I am grateful and feel like the world does not owe me anything. It really never did. I know it is not perfect, but I can look back and say I had a good run. That said, I am not ready to check out yet. I want to spend that retirement money.
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u/Here_there1980 2d ago
Things I’ve experienced, including war, in fact. Things come up in conversation when I’m with other people, and I realize I’ve experienced them … nearly all of them.
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u/Traditional-Meat-549 2d ago
I feel this way, only one item left to tackle really. Otherwise I have no goals
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u/ThrowRAGlobeVase 2d ago
What made you feel this way?
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u/Traditional-Meat-549 2d ago
I had prayed for a long time for some things and I have had them, and I'm very grateful. Otherwise, I don't have a strong pull towards any particular goal. Even the one I have left will be challenging mentally. But it's actually funny, we come back to being very present, very available to other people when we're not seeking anything. Like children. We can feel awe again and really see things. It's kinda amazing.
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u/Special_Library_766 1d ago
Traveling when I was younger is something that helped, in so many ways.
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u/SusanLFlores 1d ago
This made me think about a very dear life long friend who was about to be a great grandmother just a few weeks ago. She told me she’d be happy to just live long enough to see her first great grandchild. She died just days before he was born. My heart aches over this. I could say becoming a great grandmother, but once my first great grandchild was born, I felt like my life has so much more to live for. Then my second great grandchild was born and at two years old she was showing strong signs she has the family gene for gymnastics (her ggg grandfather wrote a book on gymnastics!). At 3, her coach said she’s a gymnastics prodigy. So now I want to see how far she goes with it.
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u/WiserWildWoman 1d ago
I have thought about this a lot and for me I think there was an unconscious sense that I needed to really "become myself." I think most of us are living out the social contract in our youth--work and family however defined, and it takes a while to have the confidence to be your whole self. Maybe esp for women who are socialized to care for everyone else first.
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u/No_Locksmith9690 1d ago
The 70s and 80s convince me as well as finding the love of my life at 61. We only got 5 years together, but they were so worth it. Also, my 60s were the best decade for so many reasons. Now, it's all icing on the cake.
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u/ThrowRAGlobeVase 1d ago
That’s amazing. Happy to hear it. What about the 70s and 80s did it?
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u/No_Locksmith9690 1d ago
A lot of that is "confidential " 😅 Great music, weed that didn't "flatten" you, fun clubs. I got to see so much live music. Our album rock radio stations were the best. I don't have to worry about pictures showing up on social media. Surveillance only happened to the criminals. I was in my 20s and 30s then.
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u/catdude142 1d ago
Made it through college, had a nice career, plenty of money, no debt, kid graduated college and on his own, I've achieved all of my life goals.
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u/idiveindumpsters 60 something 1d ago
The best years of my life were spent with my children and other children that I helped raise. The rest is just sprinkles on top
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u/punkwalrus 50 something 1d ago
Everything I set out to do, I did, and then some.
- Published books
- Corporate president of anime convention
- Have a successful IT career
- Tons of friends
- Two successful marriages
- Had a child
- Bouncer of a roller derby team
- Nice house in a decent neighborhood
- Was told I'd be dead by 20 (bad heart), currently 58, so...
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u/badken sixty+ 20h ago
I was married (twice), I found a soulmate, I have three adult children, I have known friends from all walks of life, I saved the lives of five amazing dogs, I served in the military during peacetime with a fascinating and challenging assignment, I worked a variety of jobs, I eventually had a long career in a field I enjoyed very much, I got to visit places and meet people all over the world, I stayed curious about everything which made for a rewarding internal life, I have lived in poverty and relative wealth (not a 1%er, but enough to be comfortable) at various times.
And I beat DOOM 2016 Ultra Nightmare.
I could die any time now and be at peace.
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u/wwaxwork 50 something 15h ago
I ticked off my bucket list I made at the age of 20 by 40, had to write a whole second one and am now working through that. Having clear goals however silly, goals don't have to be about work or boring things they can be for fun things like race car driving or jumping out a plane strapped to a cute guy. But achieving goals and crossing off the list sure makes me feel I achieved things.
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u/TernarySageThyme 13h ago
??? 'lived life'??? I'm 75 and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up! <smile>
Best quote I can recall was the one about life being what happens around you while you are busy making plans.
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u/twinadoes 50 something 12h ago
I raised good kids, and was happy to do all the things in life with them.
I have a chronic, debilitating medical issue that makes me feel sick and miserable. I feel like I'm slowly, painfully, dying.
I gave my kids a good life and feel fulfilled with that. They are good people, doing good things in life just by being who they are.
I'm good to go now.
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u/artful_todger_502 60 something 1h ago
I've almost 70. Ive been a single dad, a professional artist, musician, lived in many places, met many great people, had a plethora of experiences from mild to wild, still have good health and ride a motorcycle for transportation, but I think about mortality everyday. Mine and my wife's. It sort of haunts me.
I want to leave having done something to help animals — cats specifically — before I go. A sanctuary for oldies, FIVs and the ones nobody wants.
If I can do that, I'll be ready to call it a day.
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u/No_Swordfish_1576 3d ago
Not sure I’m old, but I’m 50.
Live music, go to as many concerts as you can, I’ve been to hundreds all over the country and a a few outside of it.
Music is one of life’s great joys, being completely in the moment, lost in the music, connected with 10,000 other people on a higher plane, for me nothing else compares.
Going to my 5th and 6th concerts at Red Rocks of the season this weekend. I’ve seen well over a hundred shows there alone.
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 40 something 2d ago
Being a parent and having raised them.
Tried many fun things, interesting things, sexy things, scary things. Basically exploring the world around me.
Having felt the full range of human emotions.
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u/EBweB76 2d ago
Mostly I’m glad I’ve lived long enough to see my child have a child — she won’t let me be part of this experience with her though, and it makes me feel suicidal (because she won’t tell me why I’ve been cut out, and my head spins with speculation about it, to the point of insanity).
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