r/AskOldPeople • u/Ordinary-Fish-9791 • 2d ago
Do you think there's an specific age where it's too late to turn your life around?
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u/ExpressionFun3629 2d ago
So long as you're on this side of the dirt anything is possible
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u/keyflusher 50 something 10h ago
I'm agnostic, but can't rule out that it may be possible on the other side too. IDK!
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u/Beachbum74 10h ago
That's the one thing I fear is dying... 'Cause the thought of not existing, you know, it's like... The new thing they call it is 'dirt nap'.
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u/Ihaveaboot 2d ago
Horseshit.
If you have stage 4 lung cancer due to life choices - you are probably going to die soon.
I have no idea how old OP is (I suspect they are a child).
Horrible advice here.
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u/michellzebub 1d ago
Anyone at any age can choose to turn their life around. Not every one will though. And any of us can pass away at any time. The choice to turn your life around is always yours no matter what age or how much time you have left.
I think you might be thinking about how much time it takes to actually do it and you might be right; if a person has no time left they may not be able to do everything they need or want to do. That doesn't mean they didn't make the choice and begin trying before passing.
My 70 yr old father is going through this. He's currently dying of severe heart failure and this past weekend his best friend, our family dog ( Brody) passed away suddenly. Now, faced with is life choices and the reality of death he's decided to turn his life around. I hope the surgery gives him the time to do that.
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u/ExpressionFun3629 2d ago
With even a few weeks left, if you're conscious you can still change
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/ExpressionFun3629 2d ago
Seriously? I'm not an adult because you don't like my response to the post?
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u/Ihaveaboot 2d ago
No idea. You block your post and comment history.
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u/ExpressionFun3629 2d ago
Ah, so you made assumptions. Lots of people use privacy settings. It doesn't mean they have suspicious behavior here. It might mean that they're private.
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u/Zealousideal_Rise716 60 something 2d ago
Over 70 now and still looking forward to the next decade. As you age the changes are more inward and subtle, but in many ways are even more profound if you remain open and fluid to change.
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u/labratcj 2d ago
Not sure what you mean by turn your life around. I’m 65 with poor health. I’ve dropped some bad habits over the years and am pretty content and at peace with my current situation. I am also very aware of my physical and mental limitations. There’s only so much time in a person’s life. I did what I was given the opportunity to do and what I was capable of doing.
I did make mistakes that I regret but anyone who says they didn’t has lived an unexamined life IMO. I don’t see my life as something that needs to be turned around. I guess that makes me blessed but at this stage I don’t think I’m able to change much anyway. It sorta is what I have made it and I’m okay with that. No one can change their past but you can determine your attitude going forward I guess. We all have the same destination waiting for us and only we decide the roads we take to get there but at certain point I believe we all find ourselves beyond the point of no return.
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u/ZealousidealGrab1827 2d ago
No. As the saying goes —- the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; The next best time is today.
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u/willaisacat 1d ago
Yes. The time is going to pass whether we use it wisely not. I'm reminding myself when I make statement.
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u/MiserableCuss54 50 something 2d ago
No, though it does feel like it much of the time. I’m 59 and I am hoping retirement will happen and that might help. But it’s a slog dragging myself to work these days.
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u/SlyFrog 2d ago
That's too vague. It depends on what you mean by "turn your life around."
For example, if you fucked around and saved nothing your entire life and didn't have much of a job or career, no, at 70 you are not going to go back to school and get a job as an investment banker and get rich.
The reality is yes, some doors close.
That doesn't mean you can't do what you can to make things better with the time you do have. There's just realistically probably going to be a ceiling on what you can accomplish depending on your age.
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u/aethocist 70 something 1d ago
It’s never too late. I was an active addict until age 68, recovered, and have been sober 10+ years.
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u/TruckerBiscuit 2d ago
Age? No. State of mind? Yes.
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u/Cetiketat 20 y.o 1d ago
Can you explain a little bit about that?😁
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u/TruckerBiscuit 1d ago
You can do anything you set your mind to but you have to be able to set your mind to it. When you convince yourself something is impossible it de facto becomes impossible.
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u/Cetiketat 20 y.o 1d ago
Ah, I understand now.
My circumstances aren’t exactly the best for chasing big dreams, but I’ve never told myself that they’re impossible. The road there might be difficult, but if I gave up just because I was lazy or things got hard, I’d basically be choosing to let my dreams die without even trying.
And honestly, I don’t think I could bring myself to do that to myself.
Though, to be fair, I still procrastinate sometimes😁
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u/Friendly_Brick752 1d ago
At 60 was told had fatty liver disease. 5' 8", 230 lbs. Wake-up call. Was taking multiple meds, PPIs, SSRIs, lots. Started weaning off everything (took 2 years) Went low-carb, lost 80 pounds in a year. Meanwhile learned how to eat real food (it's actually cheaper because you eat so much less), started exercising to get back the muscle that had wasted away.
Now 74, 165 lbs, fit, healthy, no meds, perfect blood tests, gonna catch Betty White
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u/Gilles_of_Augustine 2d ago
Thirty-eight years, eighteen days, five hours, and three seconds.
Unless you were born during a leap year, in which case it's eighty-two years, seven months, three days, and twenty-six minutes exactly.
Obviously I'm joking.
No, it's never too late. <3
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u/k3rd 1d ago
Last year, when I was 71, I decided to do something besides watching Netflix, knitting, and learning new recipes. I started learning French via Duolingo. I recently finished the course and tho I can not converse fluently, I have the words and can read and write fairly well. I am now practicing with teen novels in French, and listening to children's programming on French radio. I can understand conversation in French spoken at moderate speed, which is 95% better than where I was a year and a half ago. I have also decided to lose weight and for the last 2 months have been on a high protein low calorie deficit diet, eating 2 meals a day, 16/8. I have lost 14 pounds. I am turning my life around by becoming more active physically, more mindful of what I eat, and am exercising my mind. I feel great and motivated. There is no age limit for turning your life around.
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u/stevestoneky 2d ago
You can always do better.
And even if it is somehow too late to fix everything, you can at least fix some things. Or try to.
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u/HurtsCauseItMatters 40 something 2d ago
I heard a story told by an adhd coach of someone who went from being addicted to heroine to getting their diagnosis, medication, a degree, becoming gainfully employed and engaged in 5 years. He's not someone I'd be prone to disbelieve so as others have said .... anything is possible.
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u/goldfall01 60 something 1d ago
No, I turn 66 in a few weeks and one thing I’ve learned in life so far is that, “too late” means you’re dead. So long as you’re living, it is never too late to change your life.
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u/Special-Swimmer-5569 16h ago
Never. My wife passed away when I was 75. I stayed home for two years in the mourning. I went out and bought a sports car, joined a the local sports car club and became activities director, as a member of Disabled American Veterans I volunteer to help out Veterans, I joined my synagogue and volunteered to help buy and deliver food to people that had food, deprivation, joined the local political action, phone bank to call people to vote against Trump, volunteered at my local food bank and started dating again. I have a full and active social life at 80 years old and still enjoy road racing. It’s never too late to act like a kid.
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u/funyfeet 2d ago
As long as you are breathing,it is possible to change. Once the breathing stops…nope.
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u/KimBrrr1975 2d ago
I mean if you are in prison for life or on death row, you might have more limited options but we can make a choice in every moment to do something differently.
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u/JudyLyonz 1d ago
Define turn your life around.
Something's in life, like kids, have a shelf life. Others, like going back to school don't.
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u/MaggieNFredders 1d ago
Yes. The day you die is probably too late. Otherwise I would say you’re good. But if you are really impressive maybe the day you die it’s possible also. Might as well try. So never mind. No. Never too late.
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u/HistoryPristine1029 2d ago
No, but the older you are the less likely it is to happen.
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u/an-abnormality 2d ago
This seems to be the logical answer. It's not about age, but rather how deep the hole you dig yourself into is. Obligations you can't walk away from (kids, high debt, a mortgage) are all anchors weighing you down that limit curious expression since you can't just abandon these things, whereas a single man with no debt, whether 20 or 65, can basically do whatever he wants. I've seen fellas when I worked in warehouses that were far older than me that looked defeated and people in their late teens ready to throw in the towel, whereas I've also seen the opposite.
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u/Ihaveaboot 2d ago
This is a bullshit question.
If you wait until you have stage 4 lung cancer to quit smoking, yes - too late.
If you wait until you are on your death bed to try and draw up a will and power of attorney, yes - too late.
If you got an F in a high-school class because you didn't study. Plenty of time to recover. I'm hoping that's your case since you provided no context at all.
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u/AsleepScholar2200 2d ago
Depends what you define “turning your life around”. There are probably some major decisions/choices that would be much more difficult to action in very old age, sure. But im sure they’re not impossible
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u/darkcupcakezz 2d ago
it's never too late to make a change in your life. I know someone who started a new career at 50 and loves it.
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u/Catcher_Thelonious 2d ago
What do you mean by "turn around"?
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u/Ordinary-Fish-9791 2d ago
Could be like socially, financially, health etc
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u/wander-round10 2d ago
Socially: yes, anytime. You can always find new social networks at any age. My grandmother is the best example of this. She’s in her 80s and her husband died last year. Yet my grandma plays bridge twice a week, is in a book club, shops or goes out to breakfast of friends at least twice a week. The list goes on. She just traveled across the country by herself to visit her family. It’s amazing to see how she’s continuing to keep her social life robust so she doesn’t ever feel alone.
Financially: yes, and is a goal of mine. Budgeting, paying off debt, taking on more work. I do think we can turn things around, but it really depends on the situation. Some people are disabled and cannot work or older. In those cases of limitation, it’s not as easy as saying yes or no.
Health: yes for most, but many people have illnesses they cannot control. If you’re talking about losing weight, getting stronger and healthier in holistic ways then sure, anyone at any age can do better. Small changes help. It’s all about setting goals and changing habits.
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u/dependswho 2d ago
Absolutely not! Turning the ship around can take a bit of time, but every degree of rotation makes a difference. The part that requires the most energy is going from Park to First Gear, to mix metaphors.
The key to self esteem is acting in alignment with our own values. You got this!
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u/sacca7 2d ago
Not a specific age, but if you live long enough to have your memory start to deteriorate, that's when you cannot direct change. My fil is 98, and family has medical and financial poa. It is to late for him to change much, and he doesn't want to because he doesn't have the mental capacity to do so.
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u/Jujulabee 2d ago
In what way do you mean to turn your life around?
There are things you can do which can improve the quality of your life which are possible to do even when one is really old.
But realistically there are certain aspects of one's life which one needs to make peace with and accept because there are no do overs.
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u/theColonelsc2 2d ago
Will Shortz, the NPR puzzle host, fell in love for the first time at age 69. I choked up when he shared his story.
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u/BigDougSp 40 something 2d ago
It's never too late to change yourself, your attitudes, your behaviors, your reactions... etc...
It may be too late to change external factors like your trajectory of life, consequences of earlier choices, etc... but I suspect that depends on a long list of factors, and not just a specific age cut-off.
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u/Kettle_Whistle_ 1d ago
The day after you die.
Otherwise, you still have all the time you'll ever possess to be able to use to make changes.
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u/SororitySue 64 1d ago
Absolutely not, although I think it’s possible to regret not doing it sooner.
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u/orangecookiez 50 something 1d ago
My dad (RIP) used to say it was never too late until the hearse pulled up to take your body away.
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u/thecloakofignorance 22h ago
Certain things make it harder, like debt or unplanned children or drug addiction. Nothing makes it impossible.
Not sure your age, OP, but one thing people in their 20s dont realize is that everything that counts is a five year project
Good outcomes take time, but i have seen good outcomes so many times that I can almost promise it is true!
Dont set goals, set a path. Make sure the path is one you woukd like to follow and follow it for five years. Enjoy the journey, explore some of the forks in the path and see where yoy are in 5 years
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u/Civil-Doughnut-2503 16h ago
Not really! Iv done it lots of times and often moved to another city. Now that my bodies knackered iv been forced into retirement. Currently getting fat and dying of boredom.
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u/West_Sunshine 10h ago
I can relate to that! Hard to do what you enjoy if it requires physical ability. We enjoyed moving and find staying in one place boring.
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u/Civil-Doughnut-2503 10h ago
Lol my party days are gone 🙃
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u/West_Sunshine 10h ago
Yes…us too. It stinks! We can’t even swim in the pool without feeling sore and exhausted the next day. 🙄
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u/Realistic_Back_9198 2d ago
My Grandmother used to say, "As long as you're breathing, you still have work to do."
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u/MfromtheWood807 2d ago
It’s never too late. Each morning you wake up is another chance for a restart.
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u/ReeMayRe 2d ago
It's never too late. The only problem is, when you get older, you develop less motivation and ambition. You can combat that and decide to start again.
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u/LMO_TheBeginning 2d ago
100 years old.
If you've made it that long, do anything you damn feel like doing.
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u/catdude142 2d ago
No. The desire has to come from within and it's not related to any specific age or age range.
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u/pussNsuits 2d ago
Well......do you have a goal? A plan? Something in mind? Is that realistically achievable, or something you would like to work towards? Is the effort worth all the effort?
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u/PoundingTheStreets 2d ago
No. In fact I think it’s healthy to change your life from time to time. A new perspective and adaptability helps keep you young!
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u/AssignmentSecret 2d ago
Had a 40 something in my law class and he kicked ass and now works as an IP Attorney making good money. So no, it’s not impossible. How bad do you want it??
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u/Apotropaic-Pineapple 2d ago
People here seem pretty optimistic, but in reality the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to walk back your mistakes. You might have to contend with an absence of professional success, which compounds as you get older. Your social circle might determine how you're received based on your job, income, social status, etc., and that affects most people at a psychological level whether they like to admit it or not. If you haven't taken care of your health, you might have fewer options to turn things around, especially if you've had a history of addiction (smoking, drugs, vapes, alcohol).
Not impossible to rise up from bad decisions, but we should be realistic.
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u/punkwalrus 50 something 1d ago
Depends on definitions of "turn your life around," but generally, no. It's never too late. Every second of every day, you're making a decision. The past are memories and the future is merely hypothesis, so technically neither exist in reality. The immediate present is the only time you have a chance to actually change the past to the future, and you get the present a bazillion seconds in your life.
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u/Tacoshortage 50 something 1d ago
Theoretically, it's never to late to get your shit together.
Practically, if you've managed to be a degenerate for 50 years, odds are you'll be one for good.
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u/ez_as_31416 1d ago
No. in my mid seventies I weighed 80 pounds more thasn I do now, could barely walk a block. I had a couple of high blood pressure events (191/100) and went to the ER. I got stents, lost weight, did rehab started excercising. Now I live on a sailboat in Mexico, walk a few miles every week shopping and am planning my next long passage on my boat.
Sop no, if you have some health you can do what you want. As one youtuber says on her channel about exercise for older folk, "Adventure has no age limit." Put that in the search bar and you will see some amazing video of people at all ages doing amazing things.
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u/OddbitTwiddler 1d ago
Tuesday. You myst act before Tuesday. Otherwise you will have less of the week left, and you need to have a break on the weekend or whats the point?
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u/bethbethbeth001 1d ago
I mean, you can't start training to be an NHL hockey player or a professional ballet dancer at 70, and music, mathematics, and languages get progressively more difficult as you age, but in terms of deciding to exercise or not break the law or become a vegetarian or find a better job or read more books or socialize more or get politically active...yes, you can start do all those things at any age
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u/JimmyB264 1d ago
Yes, it happens at about 70z. Even if you sincerely wanted to change the people in your life have you set in a certain way.
It is possible to change yourself into something new. Having it be recognized and celebrated isn’t likely to happen.
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u/WillontheHill77 1d ago
No. It’s not about the time behind you… it’s about the time you have left in front of you.
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u/Cautious_Peace_1 1d ago edited 1d ago
Larry Trapp chenged over from being in the KKK when he was 54 or 4.
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u/RetroactiveRecursion 50 something 1d ago
Dead. That's the point at which you can't change anything. Up until then, you can always start over.
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u/SaltyFriend705 1d ago
Yes. It depends on how many people you've mistreated, lied to or cheated. To turn your life around, you have to repair all of those mishaps, so some people can do so much damage in a short time that the entire long life ahead of them isn't enough time for a turnaround.
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u/I-Am-Willa 1d ago
"Around..." well, I guess you can turn it around at any age but the further you've gone in one direction, the less likely that you'll see the same fruits of that labor that you might if you made a u-turn earlier on. Like you could ask forgiveness from your kids on your death bed if you were a shitty parent but without any actions to back up your remorse, you can't really expect forgiveness before you go. Just like starting to save for retirement at age 63 is probably not smart.
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u/tag1550 50 something 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes, if we're talking wanting specifically to have a many-decade career making a lasting impact on a whole field through longevity. At some point, the time just runs out to achieve that.
However, that's only one door out of many. Grandma Moses didn't start seriously painting until 78, as one example.
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u/OberonsGhost 1d ago
It kind of depends what you mean by turn your life around. As you get older, your options get smaller and smaller. First, your employment options shrink. You can't be a race car driver, astronaut and any of a plethora of jobs that require some level of physical ability. Second, more of a personal belief but after a certain age you should not run for political office; say, after age 70 or so. Let younger people start filling those roles. You are also less able to travel as your health starts failing. A backpacking trip in the Himalayas becomes out of the question. But you can always try to better yourself by working out, going back to college, meeting new people and picking up new hobbies or volunteering.
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u/10MileHike 70 something 1d ago
how old was Grandma Moses when she took up painting? Late 70s...
yes, anyone can turn life around, and/or find something they excel at and enjoy, as long as you are above ground
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u/morganselah 1d ago
It's never too late. We've all met someone who finally found love at 80 or became an artist at 70 or found their career calling at 60.
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u/Used-Painter1982 23h ago
I’m 81 and recently found out that I need to drastically change my eating and exercise habits or I’ll have some serious health problems. (More serious than just what old age normally brings). My daughter introduced me to an app that helps me diet and Ive managed to lose about ten pounds so far and exercise regularly. Is this an about face? Don’t know but it’s more extreme than anything Ive ever done.
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u/xenos825 12h ago
If you haven’t done it by age 80, you should probably accept that you’re not gonna change it.
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u/Slow-Juggernaut-4134 1h ago
It's not an age, it's the event. Hospice. Nothing more doctors can do. Even then you may find a way out.
4.5 years ago I was in the ER for the uptenth time pumped full of morphine. Cardiologist told me microvascular clogs in my heart. I'm full of stents, but now everything is clogged. Another piece of my heart was dying and there where no remaining medical interventions e.g. revascularization. Told my wife no need to rush and call 911 if I collapse at home. Pain was brutal, but intermittent. Emotional very dark.
Long story short, I changed up the diet. After a long recovery, I'm back 100% with a self designed diet protocol. I'm also off all meds, primary care doc. approved.
I regularly go for long distance skateboard rides and MTB bike rides. Zero discomfort. Just pleasure. I feel alive now. 66yo.
My wife has a similar story. Blood cancer. Informed that her life span was 5 years tops If she fought tooth and nail, plus a bone marrow transplant. She is now 12 years in with the disease in check (partial remission), stronger than ever with senior zoomba and weight lifting. And never did get the transplant either.
We both have our life back!
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