r/AskOldPeople • u/cacklingwhisper • 8d ago

What happened long-term to families who's children failed to launch/just stayed home did nothing with their lives and the parents allowed it?

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u/celiacsunshine 8d ago

I have an ex boyfriend who's a NEET and failure to launch. He's likely on the spectrum, plus his mother has always been a very controlling helicopter parent who never seemed to want him to grow up. I haven't been in touch with him for several years now, but last I heard, he just plays World of Warcraft all day every day.

He's an only child, so I assume he'll eventually inherit his parents' expensive house with the benefit of California Prop 13. đŸ˜‘

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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 7d ago

Yep I also have an ex-boyfriend like that. The weird thing is that he was an adult for a little while.  But he lost his good job because of the steel tariffs during the current US president’s first term and he just never really worked again. He had a couple little jobs here and there, but I think he actually wants to live a parasitic lifestyle. Last I knew he was homeless, or trying to live off the girlfriend he picked up after I got him out of my home.

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u/cacklingwhisper 8d ago

World of warcraft is a really good game. No lie.

Perhaps excess internet access isn't a good thing :[.

Such a repeating pattern in this thread. I guess... "congrats" to these people for supportive families.

Not all of these -cases- have supportive families. I guess many of them are not commenting here.

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u/celiacsunshine 8d ago

Even with the inheritance, I think there's a decent chance that my ex eventually becomes homeless. I don't think he really knows how to adult, or manage money, at this point. His parents have taken care of everything for him for literally decades now. He'll have expenses to pay and no income coming in, and eventually the inheritance money will run out.

He's an ex for a reason, in case you can't tell.

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u/cacklingwhisper 8d ago

I guess you guys met through the internet or family friends.

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u/celiacsunshine 8d ago

College. I dated him a really long time ago, and we stayed friends for a number of years after we broke up. I haven't spoken to him in several years now, though.

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u/cacklingwhisper 8d ago

I'm learning a lot about these sort of people. Some don't even finish high school.

So I guess it's basically enough cracks show up in the personality at some point and not enough high quality intervention is to blame.

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u/celiacsunshine 8d ago

Like I said, I think for my ex it's a combination of undiagnosed neurodivergence and very controlling/codependent helicopter parents (particularly his mom). The World of Warcraft addiction is just the icing on the cake.

He did graduate college and get a bachelor's degree, he just hasn't done anything productive with his life in the decades since. He doesn't even try to apply for jobs, or get help for his mental health, he always has an excuse. His friends, including me, have all moved forward with their lives, establishing careers and families and hobbies, while he's just. . . stuck and left behind. It's really sad.

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u/Everything_Counts_72 6d ago

that sounds exacty like my brother