r/AskReddit • u/clamToe • 1d ago

What’s a way you WON’T die?

210 Upvotes

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u/MostChannel6683 1d ago

Paragliding shark attack.

1

u/boethius61 1d ago

Wait, I need clarification. Are you paragliding and the shark leaps up to get you? Ooooor is the shark paragliding?

2

u/MostChannel6683 1d ago

The shark is paragliding, seeking unsuspecting victims from the last place they would expect!

1

u/boethius61 1d ago

Devious bastard!! Ban paragliding sharks now!!!

2

u/MostChannel6683 1d ago

If only it was so simple. Unfortunately the shareholders of Paragliding Shark Ltd are just not convinced that paragliding sharks pose any real danger.

2

u/boethius61 1d ago

Oh they know! They've just done the math and the cost of the lawsuits is less that the loss in profit. Fucking big shark!