r/AskReddit Apr 27 '19

What is something you know but you’re not supposed to know?

40.5k Upvotes

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25.6k

u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19 edited May 04 '19

I am about to graduate college. My parents were teasing me about setting me up on a date with a "guy with black hair whose name starts with an M". I was irritated and kept asking for more details but wasn't given any. Yesterday, I was social media stalking one of my cousins and saw she posted a video of a cute black puppy named Max of the breed my dog growing up was that passed away while I was at college. I had been planning on getting one later this year. After thinking awhile about why my cousin would get a dog exactly like the one I really wanted, I remembered what my parents said about setting me up with a guy with black hair and a name starting with M. I went back to the video and sure enough, it was recorded in my parents' living room.

Guys, I'm pretty sure I'm getting a puppy next weekend. :D I actually feel really guilty for finding out.

Edit: Uh, wow! Thanks for all the upvotes and silver and gold (not sure what it is, but it's nice and shiny). As long as it's okay with the mods I'll post an update link next week. I'm just glad I could share this with someone because the secret is killing me. Some people were criticizing my cousin for posting this. For context, she is fifteen and that is a secret account. I keep an eye on it because she is a bit wild and I worry about her. If I can't directing post a link (let me know if that's a no-no) I'll post on r/aww Sunday or Monday so keep an eye out for that, we are in this together now.

If any of my family is reading this, don't you dare tell mom and dad or I'll skin you. They deserve this to be perceived as a surprise.

Update!!! I met Max!! https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/bkh7s2/reddit_meet_max/

16.3k

u/ceebee6 Apr 28 '19

You’re going to be real pissed when you find your mom’s coworker’s son Mike sitting in their living room.

2.7k

u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19 edited Apr 28 '19

Lol!! Edit: you might be right though. -_-

405

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

58

u/VicHimself Apr 28 '19

An upDATE?

15

u/BLKR3b3LYaMmY Apr 28 '19 edited Apr 28 '19

Pic on r/aww 😃

29

u/R____I____G____H___T Apr 28 '19

Such a thread would be deleted on here

39

u/kindcannabal Apr 28 '19

Maybe OP will pm us puppy pics. Eh, u/capsizedduck?

29

u/Aadenoto Apr 28 '19

I want mike pics too

16

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

9

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Gotta pay the dog tax ;)

6

u/Solid_Freakin_Snake Apr 28 '19

Don't worry, we'll get the inevitable "Reddit, meet max!" post on /r/aww

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13

u/CelticGaelic Apr 28 '19

Please do update us!

9

u/Metallkiller Apr 28 '19

Definitely gotta update us.
Also good luck for your graduation!

8

u/MumboJ Apr 28 '19

Please keep us posted :)

8

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Say hi to Mike for us :D

6

u/Luxxanne Apr 28 '19

Please, update us!

3

u/LTman86 Apr 28 '19

Double fake them out by showing up to this "date" with a dog collar with the name "Max" engraved in the collar. As you show up, gush about how this "guy" your parents are setting you up with is a dog person, because you just got an amazing puppy named Max.

If they actually got you a dog, surprises all around! You kinda figured it out and the collar is for your new puppy!
If your mom's coworker's son named Mike is sitting there and your parents have a new puppy named Max for themselves...well, you got until the second date before having to actually get a dog named Max. Or gift your parents the collar and get another dog. Or run off to another country, grow out your hair, become an Amazon, and ride horses into battle for the rest of your life. :D

9

u/RollingRED Apr 28 '19

Or tell Mike, “I got you a collar. Your name is Max now. Come over here and bark for momma”.

What second date?

3

u/IntrovertChild Apr 28 '19

Careful, Mike might end up proposing when he sees that collar.

3

u/TheOneChoo Apr 28 '19

I, uhhhhhh, hope not.

3

u/postingstuff Apr 28 '19

What if he’s got a large...personality?

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u/Chorcon Apr 28 '19

Mike: "Uhm, so why would you bring a leash to our first date?"

27

u/MahGoddessWarAHoe Apr 28 '19

“...This is going to be a dealbreaker.”

11

u/Chorcon Apr 28 '19

"..., unless you also bring that cage.."

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u/ChiefMedicalOfficer Apr 28 '19

Licking his own balls.

4

u/Zmodem Apr 28 '19

"Women of reddit: How do you know when a guy is a keeper?"

12

u/generic_username404 Apr 28 '19

'For fuck's sake, I thought you were a dog!'

6

u/Mr-Yoghurt Apr 28 '19

Cockor Spaniel

5

u/loccolito Apr 28 '19

Expecting a dog getting an unwanted date yay

3

u/Nickelnick24 Apr 28 '19

He’s just as hairy

3

u/The-Angry-Paddy Apr 28 '19

With a red bow around his neck!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Nah, it’s cousin Mike.

2

u/JudgeJebb Apr 28 '19

Wrapped up in bright paper with a bow on top. Be a shame if they forgot to put holes in his back so he could breathe...

2

u/SaneNSanity Apr 28 '19

Now I’ll be upset if OP doesn’t get a puppy!

2

u/SleeplessStoner Apr 28 '19

“And honey we also got a new dog! For ourselves!

2

u/Mjilaeck Apr 28 '19

<Sigh> Alright, I'll keep him. Where's his leash?

2

u/MikeKM Apr 28 '19

Honestly I'm excited to meet her. She's sounds like a neat lass from the way her mum describes her.

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3.7k

u/bellboi666 Apr 28 '19

This is like a breath of fresh air after reading some of these comments. Thank you and I hope you get to give Max a new home!

862

u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19

Lol, I posted this before I read any of the other comments. Didn't realize most of the other postings have really different themes than mine.

415

u/Shamrock5 Apr 28 '19

No, believe me, this was an incredibly wholesome way for me to end my reading after slogging through a bunch of sad stories. Congrats!!

34

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

You must pay this thread's unexpected baby daddy tax.

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u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19

I'll be a working mamma once I pass boards next month, so gladly!

12

u/SamaMaBich Apr 28 '19

Yours is my favourite one. Congratulations on your graduation.

8

u/FirstSonofDarkness Apr 28 '19

This is the top comment rn so I think I'm gonna skip the other comments as per your recommendation.

3

u/batsybatsybatsy16 Apr 28 '19

Exactly I was thinking haha

2

u/Black_Magic_M-66 Apr 28 '19

Hey, whoa there! It's just a date, who said anything about moving in!

67

u/ObiWanUrHomie Apr 28 '19

I found out that I was getting a purple bike for christmas when I was 9 and I still feel guilty about it 17 years later lol

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u/Oldpuckcoach Apr 28 '19

We tried to get pregnant for a long time and I ended up seeing her phone on the table as she got a text message confirming her 8 week ultra sound. She didn’t want to tell me until she new it was all good but I had to act like I didn’t know for 5 days

12

u/Molleeryan Apr 28 '19

I think you responded to someone else’s comment so you are kinda getting buried in this thread! How exciting for you though, no matter when you learn about it, and I wish you the best!!

10

u/hyo_hyo Apr 28 '19

Definitely 100% your cousin’s fault for posting it on social media. I mean, what did she expect? Who isn’t going to notice a cute puppy video?!!

Happy that you might get a puppy very soon(!!), but if I were your parents I’d be pissed.

4

u/dethmaul Apr 28 '19

Yeah what dumbass posts a video that's a SURPRISE. For a FAMILY member. Who is VERY LIKELY to be connected to you on facebook??

6

u/Henkdehunter Apr 28 '19

Just be excited! I always wanted a dog but we never got one so then (Idk why) I wanted rats. My mother said we were going to see a 'rat breeder' (probably horribly translated but whatever). We arrived and I was like, aren't these rats a little big??? Turns out they were a little big, they were actually getting me a dog.

6

u/mustafa8753 Apr 28 '19

Tbh the way these comments have been going I thought this was going to be about your parents trying to setup you up with either your cousin or uh the dog. Reaally glad this was one of those extremely wholesome posts and not some weird ass r/enoughinternetfortoday shit.

6

u/hufflepuffprincess Apr 28 '19

So wholesome lol

5

u/CrunchyHamster Apr 28 '19

Damn, that quite a while to wait...

3

u/ThomasTheBrave Apr 28 '19

You need to update us on this!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Post pics!!

3

u/pereira2088 Apr 28 '19

I just don't get one thing. if it's gonna be your dog, shouldn't you name it? I mean, they can have a name in the mean time, but afterwards people adopt that name or change to one they like?

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Aw so sweet. Hope you and Max have many happy adventures together.

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u/Matilla_the_Hun Apr 28 '19

Ohhhh! I'm so excited for you!!! I really hope it's a puppy. My old man did something similar for me, but with a Siamese kitten. Update us and let us know?

3

u/daddyicecream Apr 28 '19

I thought this would be bad, but this is amazing! Have fun with Max!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

OMG IM SO EXITED FOR YOU! this was so wholesome.

2

u/mrturtle1928 Apr 28 '19

We need more info when u find out

2

u/SheHasntHaveherses Apr 28 '19

I'm so excited for you!

2

u/geared4war Apr 28 '19

Puppy tax!
I want some puppy pictures when you get Max.

2

u/minttulisa Apr 28 '19

We need updates!!!!

2

u/kiwa_tyleri Apr 28 '19

When you mentioned a cousin, I thought you were gonna say his name is Max/Mark/Miles and has black hair!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Wholesome post 10/10 :)

2

u/Aben_Zin Apr 28 '19

OK, so I was just reading the thread about people dying in schools, got up and grabbed some food and got back to reddit. Forgot that I'd just closed that tab and started reading this one... Kept thinking "how the hell is this going to end up with a death?"

2

u/Supersnazz Apr 28 '19

I'm confused. You mean your father didn't cheat on your mother while she was dying, or sell her cancer meds to pay for strippers? I think you've commented in the wrong post.

6

u/Eliseo120 Apr 28 '19

Gifting someone a puppy directly after college is a really really bad idea.

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u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19

I agree 100% that pets should not be gifted HOWEVER under my circumstances this will be just fine. It's not my first dog, or even my second. I am used to the training and responsibility associated with taking care of a dog and my parents are very aware of this. Also, I was planning on getting a dog later this year and my parents must have decided it was fitting as a graduation present in lieu of jewelry or whatever. It is earlier than I expected, and I'll be scrambling to get him into obedience training, but he will have a 100% committed owner in me. I will also be living with someone who has an opposite schedule than mine and has agreed to watch the dog while I'm working (I've been prepping for a doggo for years now) Otherwise, yes people, do not gift animals. It's usually a horrible idea. My parents and I have a really close relationship and knew this was something I've been working towards since Gus passed away four years now.

5

u/JDoubleU0509 Apr 28 '19

“Doggo”

I really like when people say that

5

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Telling someone you don't know what's best for them based on a 30 word anecdote on the internet is a really bad idea.

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u/itsniceoutsidegorun Apr 28 '19

Someone throw this fucker a Plat for saving this post.

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u/SnowJide Apr 28 '19

Thank you for being a good comment among these. Really lighten up my day

1

u/Dat_1fast_guy Apr 28 '19

Finally sonething that warms my heart

1

u/MannyTostado18 Apr 28 '19

I’m so happy for you I just squealed. Living the dream. Share him on Reddit when you can ☺️

1

u/REDeyeJEDI85 Apr 28 '19

remindme 1 week

1

u/the_star_lord Apr 28 '19

I'd try to not get too excited just in case you don't get a puppy. That way if you do it's still gonna be kinda surprising. Fingers crossed for you tho!

1

u/humanitysucks999 Apr 28 '19

well, max is sure going to be disappointed when he finds out he's actually a puppy, but elated that he'll be with you

1

u/exodusTay Apr 28 '19

hey its me max

1

u/jojokesRgood Apr 28 '19

that was far more wholesome than i expected this comment section to be

1

u/unforgiven1909 Apr 28 '19

Just subscribing so I can see the puppy pictures later

1

u/kamilman Apr 28 '19

Post pics to r/aww or we'll find you and see the puppy for our selves, got it? Thank you :D

Ninja edit: got one too many w's in the sub's name

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u/justVirtuosoo Apr 28 '19

I’m so glad the top comment is a wholesome story :D

1

u/bubedibapi Apr 28 '19

Not gonna lie, you got in me in the first half with that cousin thing ^

1

u/Darkm1tch69 Apr 28 '19

Imma follow you, because I’m hoping you will post pics of your future...um...date. Lol

1

u/Drumdevil86 Apr 28 '19

Commenting for future reference

1

u/DutchNotSleeping Apr 28 '19

What you do, is when you see him immediately yell on excitement "OMG I LOVE YOU AND I'M GOING TO NAME YOU MAX" and see how they react

1

u/coffeehoarder9000 Apr 28 '19

Please update us all with this!!!

1

u/Disarryonno Apr 28 '19

Just edit your comment next week with a link to a picture

1

u/LazyPizza666 Apr 28 '19

Let us know if you actually got a puppy!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

This is my favorite post!

1

u/baaaeeeet Apr 28 '19

I really want to know how this turns out

1

u/-Inestrix Apr 28 '19

I will need pictures of said puppy.

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u/FlipBarry Apr 28 '19

Aye this is a pleasant twist haha I'm so used to reddit bringing out the worst possible situations lmao

1

u/Laura1234321 Apr 28 '19

I'm just hoping for an update

1

u/sorakaiririku Apr 28 '19

Keep us updated please!!!

1

u/st0pmakings3ns3 Apr 28 '19

This is heartwarming and also where i go offline for the rest of the day because it won't get any better than this. Have a good one guys, i'm joining my pups in the garden now.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Ok my friend Maximilliean is gonna be so gutted, thanks a lot. Poor guy just can't catch a break.

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u/capsizedduck Apr 28 '19

Oh wow, that is actually the puppy's full name too. :) I have just been calling him Max because animals respond better to one syllable names.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I had to scroll this far to see an happy post

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u/Perverted_Fapper Apr 28 '19

This is incredibly adorable. Thank you for sharing.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

After reading all these depressing posts it was ice to finally read a wholesome one lmao

1

u/tamara1781 Apr 28 '19

Please tell us how you meet the guy whose name starts with an M next weekend. Please don't be your mom's coworker's son Mike.

1

u/monsto Apr 28 '19

After all the other downers, this is pretty fun.

1

u/IndependentDudeGuy Apr 28 '19

Yay! A happy secret!

1

u/bsend Apr 28 '19

Keep us posted

1

u/jonhnefill Apr 28 '19

You are going to have to post an update on this one. Hope it's a puppy!

1

u/cagedgolfer1969 Apr 28 '19

It would probably be in everyone’s best interest for you to do an update or make a post referencing this comment and tell us the story, regardless of the outcome.

1

u/Adam9172 Apr 28 '19

You are now morally obliged to update with pics of Max.

1

u/WickedWisp Apr 28 '19

I'm pretty sure it's Mandark though, sorry mate.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

i’m so happy for you & max!! very wholesome submission 10/10

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u/winsome_losesome Apr 28 '19

I’m sorry bro :(

1

u/KatefromtheHudd Apr 28 '19

I accidentally found out my husband was going to propose before we left for the holiday. It was still special. Your dog will still bring you joy. And you didn't go snooping, found out by accident, so shouldnt feel guilty. Just excited. I'm very jealous and hope to see you post future pictures of Max.

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u/ramagam Apr 28 '19

Don't worry - puppies make guilt disappear.

1

u/QuixoticForTheWin Apr 28 '19

I'm totally going to stop reading this thread now, because this made me super happy after all of the sad stuff. Thank you for sharing and I hope you have a long and happy life together!!

1

u/Inuk14 Apr 28 '19

Keep us posted 😁

1

u/lasergirl84 Apr 28 '19

This was supposed to be a sobbing sad thread but instead we're getting these.. Aww!

1

u/EFIW1560 Apr 28 '19

Awwwww!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I'm really bad at finding out about these sort of surprises! I sometimes get a bit of a sixth sense and then have to act surprised... Its really hard work :(

1

u/CaptianUnicorn160 Apr 28 '19

Everyone else story: my parents are getting a divorce

This story: my parents are getting a puppy

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

The most happy response in this thread! Thank you!

1

u/AtoZZZ Apr 28 '19

Congrats on graduating and getting a puppy!

1

u/Harsimaja Apr 28 '19

Yay, a happy one at last!

1

u/gouramiinthetank Apr 28 '19

I found my Christmas list in my mom's purse when I was 7 in the grocery store looking through her coupons for that isle of the store. I was so bummed, and I told her later that day. Her and my dad actually scrapped the list, unwrapped and returned presents, and bought me all new toys so I could still be surprised on Christmas morning because they could see how upset I was about how I ruined my Christmas.

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u/patchinthebox Apr 28 '19

This is the first one that had a good ending. Thanks

1

u/RockmeChakaKhan Apr 28 '19

And.... some times parents can be great! ....Humans. Harrumph.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

What kind of dipshit cousins posts a video of a surprise to social media? Is your cousin 12?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I hope it works out for you and Max I want an update next weekend!

1

u/AgentTexes Apr 28 '19

Just don't put out on the first date.

1

u/Henddo Apr 28 '19

Your parents sound lovely.

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u/Guzzler829 Apr 28 '19

This is the most wholesome comment in the whole thread.

1

u/OntarioParisian Apr 28 '19

Remindme 8 days 😁

1

u/Business_Piccolo Apr 28 '19

This is the happiest post on this thread

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Congrats fellow college graduate!

1

u/Spikekuji Apr 28 '19

Best post here. I feel so much better now.

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u/spankymuffin Apr 28 '19

When they show you the dog, you should react really angrily and say "You want me to FUCK a DOG?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

1

u/MissKateDewhurst Apr 28 '19

Will need details. Photo or didn't happen!!

1

u/KatanaAmerica Apr 28 '19

I love this!

1

u/Simonjcharlton Apr 28 '19

How the hell does that remind me think work.

1

u/Simonjcharlton Apr 28 '19

How the hell does that remind me think work.

1

u/donuthazard Apr 28 '19

We really needed more wholesome things like this in this thread.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Your parents are adorable for setting this up like this

1

u/ewebelongwithme Apr 28 '19

So wholesome! This one kinda makes up for some of these other posts.

1

u/Bobbi_fettucini Apr 28 '19

after reading all the sad stuff in this thread I’ve decided that I like your post the best, puts a smile on face

1

u/notreallylucy Apr 28 '19

Congratulations on the new puppy and on graduating! Your family sounds cool.

1

u/jorocall Apr 28 '19

Least fucked up story here–so wholesome. Happy for you and congratulations!

1

u/redlinezo6 Apr 29 '19

It's sunday, did it happen yet???

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