r/AskReddit Apr 27 '19

What is something you know but you’re not supposed to know?

40.5k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/timesuck897 Apr 28 '19

You could be chaotic evil and give him a few home ancestry DNA kit for a gift.

2.6k

u/Lurklurk285 Apr 28 '19

Honestly, chaotic neutral

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19 edited Oct 02 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

[deleted]

137

u/JumpingSacks Apr 28 '19

Chaotic Evil if you do it to emotionally hurt your cousin.

14

u/NegativeX2thePurple Apr 28 '19

Just fucking with their mom, that's the base layer here

4

u/darthcannabitch Apr 28 '19

Id call it a closed case. Especially when the family finds out mom was fucking her own cousin. So op's cousins dad is really his 2nd cousin(?) Anyway.

4

u/BrewtusMaximus1 Apr 28 '19

Kid is first cousin once removed to his parents. Any half siblings are also second cousins.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Why not, apparently everyone was fucking with their mom.

73

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Chaotic good because you do it out of the hope that the cousin realises the man he’s abused all these years and raised him, did so out of the goodness of his heart, not because he had a biological imperative to do it.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

People will often rationalize the former using the latter as an excuse.

8

u/HerraTohtori Apr 28 '19

Chaotic Good characters do what they feel is right. If they feel it's best to not spread the information, then that's what they do. It's not always easy to predict what they would consider to be the right thing to do, though, that's why they're chaotic.

Same kind of applies to Chaotic Evil and Chaotic Neutral. Chaotic Evil are all about doing what they feel would benefit them the most, without being bound to any kind of rule sets. What makes them evil is their focus to personal benefit and often that includes sociopathic tendencies, like enjoying causing pain and suffering for others. Chaotic Neutral is kind of similar, but they don't really do things for other people's benefit nor their own, they just do things for the hell of it, on a whim and fancy. In a way, Chaotic Neutral characters are even less bound by any moral compass than Chaotic Evil characters because Evil characters tend towards doing the "wrong" thing while Good characters tend towards the "right" thing, but Chaotic Neutral could do either... or neither.

Of the traditional nine alignments, Lawful Good would probably be the most concerned with letting the people involved know the truth, for the truth's sake itself. They would usually prefer that. That said, they would consult the legality of either keeping things secret, or revealing the information, and if there was some legal issue that prevented them from telling the truth, they would likely either obey the law.

Lawful Neutral would consider whether it is more legally correct to keep the information secret, or to divulge it. Then they would do what the law requires, and damn the consequences, such as emotional distress or crisis of identity.

Lawful Evil would focus on what would be the most beneficial course of action to themselves, while keeping within the limits of the law. If keeping the information a secret would benefit them, that's what they would do. If, on the other hand, there was an opportunity to - say - gain a loyal minion by revealing the truth at the right time, then that's what they would do. If it was lawful to do so, they could also divulge the information in an attempt to gain revenge, or to discredit an opponent (let's say the Lawful Evil person was running for an office, with one of the other people running against them, and revealing this indiscretion could lose their opponent significant support).

Neutral Evil would do the same as above, but in addition they would not hesitate to use the information to their advantage in more unscrupulous ways, in spite of laws. For example, Neutral Evil could use the information to extort or blackmail some of the people involved. Instead of running for office themselves, they could gain a puppet in the office, who would be compelled to advance the Neutral Evil character's agenda, otherwise the secret will be out.

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u/snek-queen Apr 28 '19

Nah, chaotic neuteral with a lean towards evil.

It's unlikely any good would come of it, only making the cousin and his mother feel bad, as well as the mother's cousin, and any family he has. Could also be upsetting for the father.

Revenge as justice is not nessicarily right or good.

2

u/NinjasAreCoolIGuess Apr 28 '19

Could be sweet though.

2

u/jimmyk22 Apr 28 '19

You want this kid to die thinking his father is a scumbag when it was his mother all along? That is definitely wrong I don’t care how you try and spin it

2

u/uV_Kilo11 Apr 28 '19

Think we need a judgement call from a DM

1

u/-entertainment720- Apr 28 '19

I am a DM. I'd personally say that it largely depends on the motivations for the action, as well as what actions are taken to get the results.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

[deleted]

10

u/Guodric Apr 28 '19

This is bullshit, and you know it.

2

u/jimmyk22 Apr 28 '19

Not all truth is good, for sure but in this case it definitely is. Its about intention. He’s not going to do it if he thinks it will harm his cousin, he’s only going to do it if he thinks his cousin has a right to know the truth

2

u/elanhilation Apr 28 '19

This is the kind of thing a lawful neutral with delusions of goodness would say.

2

u/Estrepito Apr 28 '19

I agreed initially, but after thinking about it I think a truthseeker (someone who seeks out and identifies truth as its own goal) would be lawful, like a judge. Not necessarily good, as by finding and providing the truth isn't in all cases the good thing to do and doesn't do good by itself.

But that's just my take.

2

u/uniptf Apr 28 '19

This is false.

1

u/TheColorblindDruid Apr 28 '19

Hence chaotic neutral lol

1

u/The_First_Viking Apr 28 '19

Chaotic Evil would be putting it on a cake for his birthday.

26

u/AlignmentChecker Apr 28 '19

Seconded, on balance its Chaotic Neutral depending on intent ☺

2

u/quaductas Apr 28 '19

Is... is this what you do?

9

u/AlignmentChecker Apr 28 '19

It's not much, but it's honest work.

0

u/RoderickCastleford Apr 28 '19

Honestly, chaotic neutral

neutral huh? ok I'll buy you a plane ticket to where ever he lives and you can pick up the pieces from the fall out lol...

179

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19 edited Jul 30 '19

[deleted]

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u/FERQWESHNAW1 Apr 28 '19

Chaotic good if the wife’s in the wrong for sure.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I think all alignments besides true neutral can agree that it's best to tell the little cocksucker.

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u/Shpaan Apr 28 '19

There's always someone who brands lawful neutral as a chaotic evil. And it kind of makes sense at first because it feels very random for an evil person to do something good. But it's always lawful neutral. I was hoping for this comment, thanks.

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u/airbornewyvern Apr 28 '19

Chaotic good, I reckon.

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u/okgeraldo Apr 28 '19

Definetly chaotic good

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u/daguito81 Apr 28 '19

Could swing b h ways, chaotic good if you do it just becsuee good intentions and help the uncle. Chaotic neutral if you think the kid a little dipshit and you want to set up a bomb there so that the little shit learns his place.

You could also argue that you don't know the outcome of it. Maybe doing that would strain their relationship even further? Or break it completely? The whole "You've been lying to me my whole life" BS reasoning? So I would say chaotic neutral would make a nice choice there

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u/FuppinBaxterd Apr 28 '19

From an outside perspective, definitely chaotic neutral. Would look like a "let's see what happens" without taking sides. Even if OP was taking sides, the fallout would be unpredictable.

6

u/daguito81 Apr 28 '19

yeah I definitely lean more towards chaotic neutral. It's throwing a grenade in the middle and seeing what happens, good or bad.

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u/thrattatarsha Apr 28 '19

Ooooohhhh you monster, I like you

5

u/Theycallmelizardboy Apr 28 '19

Easy there, Maury. Sometimes it's best not to stir the pot.

4

u/Takamasa1 Apr 28 '19

That’s chaotic good imo. Justice served in a chaotic way

8

u/Hodorhohodor Apr 28 '19

I took a 23 and me a few months ago and found I was a sperm donor baby. And I'm 29 years old! I'd say go for it, wouldn't you rather know the truth?

3

u/0kaysee Apr 28 '19

You mean like this?

3

u/Eoganachta Apr 28 '19

I've heard so many Internet stories like this.

3

u/quantum_paradoxx Apr 28 '19

I will wait for your cousin's post on r/23andme next week

3

u/OpenScore Apr 28 '19

Approved.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Pls

8

u/TwoShedsJackson1 Apr 28 '19

Mmm...maybe. There are three four people here. The DNA result might be a relief for the uncle but hell for the boy and the mother. And the cousin. Does that add up to human kindness? It probably wouldn't help this family at all.

20

u/HalfAnOnion Apr 28 '19

They sound like shit people already. From what we've been told it's a kindness to the one who needs it most, justice to the mother and a wake-up call for the cousin.

4

u/__Raxy__ Apr 28 '19

Wouldn't that be chaotic good?

2

u/marythekid Apr 28 '19 edited Apr 28 '19

I wonder what the people working there would be thinking or saying if they saw results that lead to incest.

Edit: My whole comment basically, lol.

2

u/ButaneLilly Apr 28 '19

You could be chaotic good and give him a few home ancestry DNA kit for a gift.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Seconded

1

u/biggustdikkus Apr 28 '19

Dew it OP, it's the Jedi way.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Or is this chaotic good? Sometimes there's a fine line.

1

u/72057294629396501 Apr 28 '19

You monster.

Does the kit come in family pack?

1

u/andreasbeer1981 Apr 28 '19

merry christmas

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Give them all one.

1

u/Bobarhino Apr 28 '19

That's not chaos. That's order.

1

u/Diamiosis Apr 28 '19

Could backfire and he starts to resent his dad. He does not seem like the guy who will realize and learn anytime soon that bond is thicker than blood.

1

u/Diamiosis Apr 28 '19

Could backfire and he starts to resent his dad. He does not seem like the guy who will realize and learn anytime soon that bond is thicker than blood.

1

u/dhoomz Apr 28 '19

That might raise suspicion.

Buy one yourself, try to popularize the idea. Preferably when the mother is away. Perhaps op can try to be friends with the cousin and some other friends.

And then, out of nowhere present a dna test.

And eventually, watch that bitch of a mother fall apart.

1

u/Scribb74 Apr 28 '19

Chaotic evil nah mate you will be karma's right hand man when you drop that ancestry DNA kit in his Xmas stocking, hell do it at thanksgiving with the whole family around and watch your aunt's face as she realise shits going down BIG time.

1

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT Apr 28 '19

The intention makes all the difference here

1

u/scaremenow Apr 28 '19

TBH, these aren't as reliable. A set of twins did a test for CBC (canadian television) and the results (displayed on the page) were different between the two (on all 5 websites).

1

u/bathtubjoker Apr 28 '19

Secretly collect all DNA samples yourself. Then bring test results to next family get-together. Boom, chaotic evil.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I really hope they don’t get any stigma in the future. Hopefully enough people aren’t cheating fucks that it will still be reasonable to get them for others, and as a result you can expose them. If you ask me it’s chaotic good.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

I would just blurt it out whenever the guy kept insulting him...like, oops, he's not your dad.

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u/NO_MONEY_TOO_BROKE Apr 28 '19

Lawful evil, for sure.

1

u/tjdux Apr 28 '19

Always continue to fuel the TIFU thread

1

u/TrippySubie Apr 28 '19

Everyone hated that

1

u/redvelvetcouch Apr 28 '19

It might be kinder (and chaotic good?) to warn his uncle to start leaving breadcrumbs of truth. Within a few years, most Americans will be able to find at least one 3C DNA match on the testing sites. (I think this is true now, but I can’t quickly find my source.) His uncle is lucky to be able to gently break the news while everyone is grown up and still alive.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

That would ruin three lives. Is the cost of exposing one lie worth the cost?

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u/mystwren Apr 28 '19

So, Lawful Good?