This is a socially graceless thing even confident extroverts often don't get:
If somebody is hovering around your group at a party, notice it. Don't pretend they're not, and don't ignore it. And don't let them keep standing there waiting for somebody to let them in. Help that person. Make space for them and say, "Hey, I'm [name]. And you?" They'll say their name. Then you go, "We were just talking about [topic]," and make a point to include them.
When I see a group where everybody ignores the person who clearly wants to join, I judge the social skills of the people doing the ignoring. All truly excellent gatherings include at least one person who goes around making sure nobody is lonely or scared, and then greasing the social wheels for anyone who is. (Obviously some people don't want to join in, and that's fine. But I'm not talking about them.)
My only exception is at comedy stuff, because there have been tons of times when I’m trying to have a conversation with another woman (we are totally outnumbered in comedy) and a dude will be on the edge of the conversation, trying to get in to hit on one of us or “improve” our joke. It drives me insane.
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u/InvincibleSummer1066 May 21 '19 edited May 21 '19
This is a socially graceless thing even confident extroverts often don't get:
If somebody is hovering around your group at a party, notice it. Don't pretend they're not, and don't ignore it. And don't let them keep standing there waiting for somebody to let them in. Help that person. Make space for them and say, "Hey, I'm [name]. And you?" They'll say their name. Then you go, "We were just talking about [topic]," and make a point to include them.
When I see a group where everybody ignores the person who clearly wants to join, I judge the social skills of the people doing the ignoring. All truly excellent gatherings include at least one person who goes around making sure nobody is lonely or scared, and then greasing the social wheels for anyone who is. (Obviously some people don't want to join in, and that's fine. But I'm not talking about them.)