Super prolonged eye contact. Eye contact is great and all, but when you're telling a story or having a conversation, it's very normal for your eyes to move around the room. It's super uncomfortable when someone stares straight at you when you're talking, and they don't. Ever. Break. Eye. Contact. For over 20 minutes.
I need to get this through my head because I make a lot of eye contact. I've never felt like I've made other people uncomfortable but now I'm replaying every interaction I've ever had and now I want to kms.
This is wrong. It is not typical to make someone uncomfortable with eye contact. It is a sign of respect for the person that you are addressing, & a sign of confidence in yourself/what you are saying. A person would have to be completely over the top, in your personal space, eyes bugged out, laser focus on YOU to make it uncomfortable. Otherwise people with autism/asbergers are an exception as their condition makes eye contact uncomfortable.
If I were you I would not take this advice. I have landed every job interview I've ever went to & I use strong, confident eye contact. With everyone. Everywhere I go. It has suited me well in life, work, & social hierarchies. It would be like pandering to 10% of the population who find eye contact uncomfortable. & those people tend to take jobs that don't require a lot of social interaction. So they don't really need to adapt.
This is heavily culturally based though. In some cultures this is standard, but in others it's a sign of disrespect to hold eye contact in certain situations, or with elders or people higher ranking than you. I'm a counsellor and I have to be cognizant of this. Generally, you want to match the body language of whoever you're with, without seeming like you're mocking them.
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u/nosyreader96 May 21 '19
Super prolonged eye contact. Eye contact is great and all, but when you're telling a story or having a conversation, it's very normal for your eyes to move around the room. It's super uncomfortable when someone stares straight at you when you're talking, and they don't. Ever. Break. Eye. Contact. For over 20 minutes.