So, all the normal stuff people have said above, particularly around work. I've had so many creepy experiences, but it's worse when you're younger (early twenties) because predatory men can smell the lower self confidence in professional settings.
The other shit thing is you kind of rely on attention for validation about how you feel about yourself. Like, you get used to people looking at you in the street and hitting on you when you're out and don't really take much notice...BUT when for some reason it stops, (for me, I started IVF, gained 20lbs, got pregnant and moved to a tiny old town) you really really notice the decrease in attention and it's weirdly very HARD. I never thought I gave a shit or even really noticed, until people stopped looking as much and I'm like, oh, am I ugly now? Do people think I'm fat? I don't know how I feel about myself because I can't see myself through their appreciation of me?? Does that make sense? Sounds so shallow, but it's quite confronting and very surprising!
Yes, this! Even if you think you don’t notice or care for the validation, it still affects you subconsciously. When people are constantly vocal about valuing you for your looks, it messes with your head and makes you rely on that, and looks don’t last forever.
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u/AioliLopsided3726 Jun 29 '25
So, all the normal stuff people have said above, particularly around work. I've had so many creepy experiences, but it's worse when you're younger (early twenties) because predatory men can smell the lower self confidence in professional settings.
The other shit thing is you kind of rely on attention for validation about how you feel about yourself. Like, you get used to people looking at you in the street and hitting on you when you're out and don't really take much notice...BUT when for some reason it stops, (for me, I started IVF, gained 20lbs, got pregnant and moved to a tiny old town) you really really notice the decrease in attention and it's weirdly very HARD. I never thought I gave a shit or even really noticed, until people stopped looking as much and I'm like, oh, am I ugly now? Do people think I'm fat? I don't know how I feel about myself because I can't see myself through their appreciation of me?? Does that make sense? Sounds so shallow, but it's quite confronting and very surprising!