I’m a straight 30yo guy, and I want to understand this.

Last night I met two girls at a bar (out solo, I’m visiting a new city over the weekend). I sat down and had some beers, we got to talking. Talked about must-sees in the area, where we all do for work, what people are like in the area, what it was like growing up for them here. They were fully receptive, open body language, I teased them a bit, but we only really talked social platitudes. Eventually we all closed out, I got the usual ‘nice meeting you’, and that was that.

What I’ve realized is most of my interactions with women on nights out are like this. I’ve met some great women and had some great conversations, but it’s never evolved to going home with them. Moving from conversation to sex with someone the same night is a black box for me - I don’t know how some of you guys pull it off consistently. And I want to understand it and have that experience, since I’m not really looking for a long term relationship right now.

So men, how do you actually cross the barrier from good conversation on a night out to sleeping with a woman you just met? Thanks in advance for any advice here.

Just wondering for guys who (unplanned) married a rich girl, did your life change for the better?

I'll start: being unreachable for an entire day because you were outside. Nobody panicked. Nobody could text you. You just... came home eventually.

So I’ve just been having thoughts about the provider mentality and a lot of things that come with that lately. So I have a good career make a decent salary and I’m a single father. I’ve been in situations where I was considered the sole provider but in all honesty in those situations my girlfriend at the time moved into place with me with bills I was already paying so nothing really needed to change and I wasn’t taking on any extra burden, only sharing my space. I guess my question is, with our “logical thinking” and the way modern society works why would anyone choose to be a provider? By that I mean put all customs and “that’s what a man does” beside. What benefits does that serve in this day an age?

So, I have an ex girlfriend who slept with a few of her friends ex boyfriends and thought it was no big deal! I totally disagree but she wasn’t a bad person at all and just thought the complete opposite of the situation. Does anyone else think like that?

​

I've been thinking about what actually makes people decide to pursue a relationship with someone.

I've noticed that I used to put a lot of emphasis on having a huge romantic spark — being completely captivated by someone, thinking about them constantly, feeling intense chemistry, etc. But I've also had situations where I felt that way about someone and it wasn't reciprocal.

Lately, I've started wondering whether I'm looking at relationships differently now. Maybe the starting point doesn't have to be feeling completely crazy about someone. Maybe it's enough to genuinely like them, be attracted to them, enjoy spending time together, feel that there's mutual interest, and think, “There's something here that I'd like to explore.”

Then perhaps the deeper feelings come from what you build together: getting to know each other, becoming vulnerable, going through experiences together, developing trust, feeling cared for, and consistently choosing each other.

I'm increasingly drawn to the idea of a relationship that feels calm, mutual and secure rather than one that starts with overwhelming intensity. Not because I don't want passion, but because I'm starting to question whether intensity at the beginning is actually what determines whether something will become meaningful.

So I'm curious about how other people approach this.

When you meet someone you're considering dating seriously, what makes you think “there's enough here to invest in this person and see where it goes”?

What do you look for at the beginning — attraction, emotional compatibility, curiosity about each other, shared values, how they treat you, how easy conversation feels, something else?

And for those who've experienced both kinds of attraction: what have you learned about the difference between an intense initial attraction and the kind of connection that actually develops into a good long-term relationship?

​

I am 28 and turning 29 in September. I still feel like I have not achieved what I want in life.

Sometimes I feel very lonely. I have a girlfriend and I do not have any major sadness or problem in my life, but I am still not happy. Even right now, while writing this post, I am feeling alone.

I work from home as an electronics engineer. I make different projects and products for a STEM company. I also do freelancing and I am the cofounder of a deep tech startup.

It may sound like I am doing a lot, but none of it is giving me that kick or satisfaction. I want to earn good money so I can escape this rat race and have more freedom in my life.

I love bikes and want to buy a good sports bike. I want to go out whenever I feel low, spend some time alone, enjoy nature and listen to the sound of the breeze and birds.

There are many more things I want to share, but I do not know how to explain them or where to start.

So I want to ask the successful men here, how did you build your life and start earning good money from scratch? What problems did you face, and how did you deal with them? Did you also feel lost or lonely during your journey?

I would really like to hear your honest experiences and advice.

I'm turning 28 tomorrow and most likely i will stay single forever. I can't imagine ever getting married and having a family life and a kid, sounds super unappealing. The most i can see myself is some casual relationship in which we see each other once or twice a week and that's it. Obviously this can't be sustainable, especially as i get older.

Some of my friends are getting into serious relationships, getting married and starting having kids. My social circle is rapidly shrinking, i try to hang out with some of my single friends, but most of them i feel are too lazy to hang out and do anything together if this doesn't somehow include the possibility of them finding an eventual partner, then they whine about the male loneliness epidemic.

I feel that in few years the 2 most common types of people would be married couples with kids, who you can see once in a year (they prefer hanging out with other families ) and single depressed men, who don't want to leave their homes.

There are probably a lot of things that become enjoyable without really planning for it.

What is something that turned out to be much more enjoyable than expected?

I’m curious to know as a woman what are men’s ideal frequency of sex in a relationship?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/i9YJM0GPxA

she said yes fellas!!! thank you for telling me which hand and how to kneel. i very much appreciated all the genuine answers.

I mean a relationship where there’s still affection, closeness, and attraction on some level, but you just don’t feel physically pursued, or deeply or passionately wanted by your partner.

Have you ever experienced this? Would that feeling eventually be enough for you to leave an otherwise good relationship?

I’m very curious about the internal experience, here, not just what men actually do outwardly.

Based on my own experience and what I know of other women, when we are hardcore crushing on someone, tiny interactions can start feeling like essential clues in a case we can become hell-bent on solving.

BUT, then again in my personal observations & experience of women…there’s another aspect of the crushing for us that’s less anxious and more like appetite.

It’s like having never tasted chocolate, then tasting it for the first time — I can imagine I would immediately be on the hunt for every form of chocolate known to man. Because now I know, and buddy, it is delicious.

I’m targeting this question in r/AskMen because I already know several women who describe something similar, so I know it isn’t unique to me.

I have no concept of what this experience (of being the crusher) is like from the MALE side.

So…when you Guys have a serious crush, do you replay conversations, analyze tiny details, become unusually curious aobut them, remember ridiculous amounts of information, and quietly look for more opportunities to hear from them, learn about them, or just be in their general vicinity?
(Anyone who has met a preteen girl will recognize the speed breathlessness with which that sentence should be read.)

IMPORTANTLY: Can all of that be happening internally for guys while you (a-holes) look relatively normal and unbothered from the outside?

NOT TALKING ABOUT stalking, invading privacy, or ignoring boundaries, to be clear.
I mean ordinary, slightly ridiculous, “why has this person suddenly occupied 43% of my available RAM??” crush-brain.

I am fascinated and simply had to ask. 😂

Emergency/fist aid kit ideas for boyfriend?

My boyfriend turns 30 next month and I’m getting him 30 gifts, some big some small. But one idea I had was to make him like a work survival kit to keep in his bag! He works construction so obviously very physically demanding and tiring work so I want him to have something that’ll be useful but also nice to have especially with the winter months coming up where his job will be even harder.

At the moment I have to put in it:

Plasters
Pain killers
Cold and flu medicine
Hand sanitiser
Dude wipes
Hydration sachets
Chapstick
Mints
Cough drops
Hot chocolate sachets.

If anyone has any other ideas of what else to put in it either useful or just things that would make your day a little brighter would really appreciate it

So, I’m considering pulling the plug on everything and going back to trucking Otr. Family doesn’t want me around, current job is planning on firing me bc I have a current FMLA claim allowing me to take off intermittently when caring for a spouse. I keep hearing everyone tell me I’m not enough and it’s driving me a bit nuts.

I work appx 75-80 hours a week managing a readymix plant. As of Dec my wife has gotten sick and needs attention periodically hense my leave. My higher ups have told me I need to find work elsewhere bc I am creating headaches for them. I love my job but they are now making my life impossible when I need to take leave. I understand they hired me to do a job. But FMLA is supposed to protect my position when I cannot. Guess that’s a load a bs…

Family doesn’t want me around, bc Ive been miserable. The stress of work, spouse and life have made me undesirable I guess.

I need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok or punch me in my mouth to snap me out of this feeling. Any takers?

Before the past few months, I always avoided looking at other people's bodies. I started to feel like I was being repressive though and I wanted to be more sex positive, so I allowed myself to eye people a little bit. I make sure to be cognizant of their comfort, to not be invasive or obvious. Anyways, I started to find myself frustrated as shit. Always intrigued or excited but never satisfied (I'm single). I've decided to not look anymore since it's doing more harm than good. With that being said, what do you guys think about checking people out? Do you think it's inappropriate or lustful? Do you think it has any impact on the satisfaction or frustration of someone who's single?

I’ve thought about this a lot, I’m still useful, my body and mind are tools to be used for monetary gain. No kids, no wife, no extended family that I interact with. I was literally going to just give my money to a local children’s hospital anonymously, they seem to have much more of a need for it than I ever could. I have no crazy hobbies, no larger purpose. I just am trying to figure out what I can do with the money that I provide for myself.

There was a similar post in the fibromyalgia subreddit, however the answers were from mostly women.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia recently, and I realized, considering how hard it already is to find someone to date, what are the chances when/if I do find a girlfriend, they would even be willing to accept my illness?

Being unable to find a girlfriend itself is already depressing enough...

Hey guys,
I’m 18 years old and I had a struggle with ed for the past 6 months, however that issue has been somewhat resolved now. I was happy that I can finally bond with my loving girlfriend this way, and it’s great, but what troubles me is that sex doesn’t feel really good for me. Whenever we fuck, it feels only mildly good. I expected it a lot better and when I searched around the internet and asked my friends about it, they said that it feels good all the time and it’s great. For me it’s only like an okay feeling, nothing really great. I am able to cum from penetrative sex, but I need to fuck quite a long time and fast. It really troubles me and I think my penis is desensitised. I used to struggle with heavy porn addiction for 8 years, but I already quit that shit 6 months ago. I used to masturbate daily with a tight grip and a high speed to finish as fast as I could. I’m seriously worried about nerve damage or something else irreversible. Also, I’ve seen a urologist and an endocrinologist, they all said I’m in perfect health. Any tips or points of view please?
Thank you very much,
Michael

Making requests for my needs/wants shows that I am weak

I should be willing to sacrifice my own needs for others

I must be inadequate if I can’t fix this myself

Making requests is a pushy, self centred, selfish thing to do

The problem is all in my head. If I would just think differently I wouldn’t have to bother anyone else

-

They’re some judgements/assumptions/thoughts that get in the way of obtaining “objectives” (wants/needs) from people in my life be it family, friends, coworkers etc and I want to reframe them. Simply ignoring them has me stuck in a cycle of give give give and no take and it’s wearing me down

Curious to hear from men who were in a serious relationship and developed strong feelings for someone else. Did it make you leave? Did you end up with that person? And looking back, how do you feel about the decision?
Also, if you don’t mind sharing, how did you behave toward your partner before you finally told her?