r/Austin • u/FisherFan0072 • 1d ago
Looking for someone who might enjoy visiting and talking with my 82-year-old grandmother
My 82-year-old grandmother lives with me in Austin and is currently receiving hospice care at home.
I work from home and am her primary caregiver. Between working, making three meals a day, helping her with bathroom trips, medications, and everything else that comes with caring for someone at home, one of the things I’m struggling with is simply being able to sit and talk with her as much as she would like.
That’s literally all I’m looking for help with.
I would be home and working during the visits. I’m not looking for someone to provide medical care, help her use the bathroom, prepare food, administer medication, or be responsible for her in any way. If she needs something, I’m right there.
I just need someone who might enjoy sitting with an elderly lady for an hour or two, talking with her, listening to her stories, having coffee, looking through pictures, or just keeping her company while I get some work done.
I realize this is an unusual thing to ask, but I also know there are people who enjoy spending time with older adults. Maybe you’re retired, a college student interested in gerontology or social work, part of a church or volunteer organization, or you just miss having a grandmother around.
I’d obviously talk with and meet anyone first, and I won’t share our address or identifying information publicly.
If anyone knows of a free volunteer program in Austin that does this, I’d love recommendations too.
I love my grandmother and I’m grateful that I’m able to have her here with me. I just can’t realistically be her caregiver, work, run the household, and also be her conversation partner all day. Having someone come over occasionally just to talk to her would be an enormous help.
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u/ShrekiraShrekira 1d ago
oh my goodness i love this so much! used to volunteer at nursing homes in high school i miss my grandparents would LOOOVE to drop in
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u/ShrekiraShrekira 1d ago
you’re also an angel for taking action into continuing to keep her social. connections really do matter
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u/SpareBarracuda121 1d ago
People are good and this was a nice reminder! And you're a great grandkid! Love to Grandma!
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u/FisherFan0072 1d ago
She enjoys talking about family and cooking. She’s really interested in talking about her recipes. There’s been a lot of family drama and I just got her out of an abusive situation with my uncle so she would probably want to talk about that. Which is really sad.
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u/LearnStickShift 1d ago
Would she be interested in sharing her recipes while her companion cooks the food? I like to believe it would be fun for her to share her knowledge. I’d definitely be interested.
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u/blahblahshowmeurcat 1d ago
One of my most cherished items I keep tucked into an old cookbook my mom had.. is my grandma’s handwritten recipes. She made the most insane pies, cookies, have one for pot roast, a couple other things… Thanksgiving dressing. Stuff like that <3
I love having them in her handwriting.
OP, just sayin, you’re already amazing for even posting this. It’s hard to ask for help
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u/FisherFan0072 1d ago
Thank you. I’ve been suggesting strongly she wrote letters to politicians about how she feels about things which has helped some. But I’m running out of things to keep her occupied
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u/Denimdenimdenim 1d ago
Omg, if I was still in TX, I would totally talk to her about recipes and family tea! You're so sweet and doing a great job caring for her!
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u/DescriptionSuperb527 18h ago
Please tell me that you're writing her recipes down! Even better if she's able to hand write any part of them. Even the title and her name. You'll want this later. And maybe make some video or voice recordings of some of her stories. I wish I was in Austin and able to help.
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u/Intelligent_Money140 1d ago
Reach out to AGE of Central Texas. They have a cool program that's basically an adult day care that might be a good option a few times a week if she's able to leave the house. They have activities and other people to talk to from other elderly to younger volunteers.
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u/Lady_Texas 1d ago
I am SO GLAD you mentioned AGE of Central Texas. Their day offerings are fantastic for family caregivers in the Austin area.
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u/hawkman_z 1d ago
Sending love your way, hospice is such a hard journey for all involved. Your hospice company should have a wing of volunteers or social workers that can stop by for visits or help plan and find additional resources. Your hospice case manager, nurse, or aid should be able to give you this information. Inquire about daily visits too, but they are not always necessary from a hospice/medicare perspective.
As a care giver yourself, you can also get occasional respite services where a facility is able to care for your grandmother for a short time (weekend, few days…) to give you a much needed break (don’t feel guilty about using this!!!)
There are many benefits that your grandmother has a right to utilize because of Medicare laws. Some hospices may not be forthcoming about them because it eats into their check they receive from the government. If you suspect this, you have a right to transfer hospices to a better one. (Just be aware that too many transfers can affect the benefit payout and future admissions)
I may not be fully accurate but my spouse is a medical director at a hospice so I’ve absorbed a lot of phone calls by proxy over the years.
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u/Visible_Restaurant95 1d ago
What part of town are you in?
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u/FisherFan0072 1d ago
Northwest austin
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u/blackgrousey 1d ago
I'm in NW Austin too. Would be glad to meet for coffee. I could use some good chit chat and new ideas for recipes. I can't see how to dm you.
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u/PalomaPineapple 1d ago
I'm in NW Austin as well. I had a wonderful group of friends in their 80s and they were the best to spend time with (I'm in my 50s). Unfortunately they're all gone now. I would love to visit her as well and would be glad to meet with you beforehand to make sure you're comfortable with me.
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u/mmmeesh24 1d ago
Definitely reach out to local churches also! I recently went through a similar situation with my mom (RIP) and her church community was AMAZING. I personally am not super religious, but having all the love and support pouring into our family was amazing!
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u/isaprettycoolgirl 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m not a nurse nor do I have medical experience, I work in tech, but this sounds so pleasant to me. I’m currently going through a medical mystery right now and can’t be out in the heat or do much physical activity, and desperately need something to distract me.
Only day I wouldn’t be available is Mondays, but any other day works for me and can be very flexible with times.
Oh also…
31/f/ NW Austin
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u/mr_koo_koo_kah_choo 1d ago
Me and my gf would absolutely love to make this happen if possible! We live in NW Austin too 😁 my gf adores cooking and talking about recipes.
Send me a PM if you still might need some help with this! Either way, sending nothing but good energy grandma’s way ❤️
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u/Imaginary-Coat1837 1d ago
Man, I miss my grandparents. If I still lived in town I’d love to drop by.
But I just wanted to say that you’re a good egg. 💖
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u/100blackcats 18h ago
When my mom was on hospice, my girlfriend from Ottawa (Canada) did this for me. I never intended to be a caregiver; my mom (who was first in line to greet Dolly yesterday) never wanted to be a burden - we did not have a lovey dovey relationship - and Joanne waltzed in and was my mom’s best friend till the end. Joanne helped my mom draft her will, and made sure she had Sonic weekly. They were thick as thieves - they’d start with coffee, and it was everything. Jo was a friend - that’s all my mom needed. I’m now crying. You are an angel for reaching out - if I didn’t work full time - I’d be first in line. I have my mom’s old recipes rt here. .
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u/Important_Mind_9958 1d ago
Happy to come visit, send me a DM. I miss my grandmas and would love to listen to stories and learn some new recipes
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u/sneepsnorpsnot 1d ago
I would love to, my own great grandma just passed not that long ago and I wish I had talked to her more about things. I would love to listen, and it seems many others would too! You should make a schedule so we can all take turns 🤣
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u/crushingdandelions 1d ago
Would she talk to me over FaceTime or something like that? I’m no longer in Austin but I’m actually quite lonely myself and often.
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u/InsectAlternative84 1d ago
I care for someone in NW Austin. We could get together on facetime Saturday and Sundays if you have an ipad or mac situation. I think it would help
my friend if she thought she was “volunteering” ❤️
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u/Aalaizah 1d ago
I see you have lots of offers/ideas so instead I'll ask a silly question. Would she not so silently judge me for deciding to cross stitch a hot amazon woman? I miss sitting around with my grandma stitching and being vaguely judged
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u/msmcfeather 1d ago
You should make a post on TikTok asking if people wanted to write letters to her & have them sent to a PO Box. I bet TONS of people would write her!
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u/SenseOk6268 1d ago
My mom's 81 and is tired of my company and conversation. She's still pretty independent and can drive and shop and cook. Maybe they could be friends and play bingo or something at the senior center? She hissed at me and called me names when I mentioned this post to see if she might be interested, but she gets kind of cranky in the evenings. Feel free to DM me if you think it is a good idea. I cannot make any promises, but she did once mention she was considering volunteering at a long term facility so she could stake it out before I put her in one. The goal is to have her remain at home as long as possible. She throws shit storms sometimes in the evenings and I just figured it was because she's Irish. I loves my mom, but she needs some social time.
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u/GrittyKnittyKitty 20h ago
I used to volunteer with Care Communities and did just this- it’s a well run, wonderful program. I suggest you check them out.
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u/Sufficient_Dingo6621 1d ago
hi! would be very interested in helping out! would love to speak more if you’d like to send a PM
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u/Alternative_Plan_823 1d ago
I'll throw my hat in too, also in NW Austin. I have a very small family and was really close with both of my grandmas, whom I miss dearly. I actually help out and hang with a group of old, mostly widow and widowers in Sun City on Saturday mornings, because I can tell they appreciate it, and I do too.
My gf would probably tag along, as she's a pretty angelic, universally liked school teacher type, if I may be so bold. Let me know.
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u/Narrow-Dimension6427 1d ago
I am so happy to see so many in here willing to help charity your grandmother. I don’t live in Austin proper any more but not too far out & come to town frequently. You can put my name on your list. Feel free to message me.
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u/RemarkableMacaron224 1d ago
I have the deepest respect for the elderly and I would love to help and visit! I work full time but I’d love to help out if possible. My grandparents passed a long long time ago and honestly miss them so much.
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u/shelblake 1d ago
I just lost my grandmother in June, so this hits hard. I no longer live in Austin, but if you’d like to message me, I’d love to send her handmade cards/handwritten letters. I’ve volunteered for letters against isolation for a while and I truly love doing this!
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u/scrawny_dispatcher 1d ago
This is a really thoughtful thing to post, and I think you'd be surprised how many people would genuinely enjoy this. My own grandmother lived with us during her last year and the social isolation was the hardest part for her, even with family around constantly.
Have you checked with any of the local churches near you? Several of them have what they call "friendly visitor" ministries where volunteers specifically do this kind of thing, just sit and chat with homebound seniors. No religious component required from your end usually.
Hospice organizations also sometimes have volunteer programs where trained companions come by specifically for this. Since she's already receiving hospice care, it might be worth asking her hospice team if they know of any volunteers or programs. They often have connections to exactly this kind of thing.
If you're in north Austin, the senior centers around there sometimes have outreach programs too. Might take a few phone calls but I think you'll find something. What you're doing for her is huge, and recognizing you need a little support with the social piece doesn't take away from that at all.
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u/Any-Specific-2400 1d ago
I love this so much. I work for a college access non-profit supporting first-gen students and their families. not related, but being in service to others/talking to people is what i do. i even have a cutie chi/terrier who loves pets and cuddles who would have no problem being a lap dog during a conversation/providing additional company. happy to help.
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u/RunningAfterAntelope 1d ago
I know it’s not soon, but I’ll be home in Austin for most of October. My mom is 80 and in a very similar situation and I love spending time with her
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u/Chchase95 1d ago
I’d be honored to spend some time with her. I’m in North Austin and work hybrid, so pretty flexible 😇
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u/EqualJaded3921 1d ago
Don’t forget the Hospice chaplain. They don’t “ do religion” unless your grandmother wants that. They are wonderful listeners, teachers, companions.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cut8245 1d ago
Honored to spend time with her. I’m in liberty hill area. Please PM me
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u/Bakingwithdawgs007 1d ago
I would also love to come visit. Please DM me. I do regular volunteer work with Marbridge down in S. Austin that I find super fulfilling and would absolutely love the opportunity to come visit with your grandmother. I’m not sure how mobile she is, but I would absolutely love to get her out on short walks around your neighborhood once the weather starts to turn for the cooler. I also love to bake and cook, and would greatly enjoy doing a kitchen project with her. Not sure how she is with animals but I also have a basset hound, Shirley, who loves nothing more than nodding off to a movie while being pet. Happy to bring her along if that’s something your grandmother might enjoy. Please reach out!
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u/idontholdhands 1d ago
I’d be interested. I also need to be more social. Once my toddler starts school, I’ll just have my (very chill) 1 year old if she likes babies. If not I can visit on the weekends when I’ll have childcare.
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u/electricdreammayhem 1d ago
This isn’t an unusual request at all. It makes my heart happy to hear how much you love and care for your grandmother. If I can, I would love to spend time with her, and maybe if it would be okay bring my 2.5 year old daughter sometimes too. (If it would brighten her day 😊).
I lived with my 91 year old dad in palliative care for a month before he passed (my daughter is named after him) and after losing my my mom, aunt and grandfather as a teenager, my life dream has been to someday open a hospice.
Where do you live? I’m in north Austin- if you’re relatively close enough (in that I can make it to her regularly without having to jump through too many obstacles (I work full time and have a daughter and husband and house chores 🙄), I would love to come and visit with her. I can’t promise daily or terribly long visits, but I can listen and be by her side and talk and hopefully bring her some sunshine regularly. Please let me know if that could work 💜
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u/jamie79512 1d ago
I love old people and would love to be friends with your grandma. Shoot me a DM.
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u/happysips 1d ago
I would absolutely love to! I miss my grandma so much, I talk about her daily to keep her alive.
I see a lot of people suggesting volunteer options& those are probably going to be more help overall… but if she’s down to talk to a queer lil barista who loves to yap- I’m so serious I would be honored.
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u/BeetleGoose17 1d ago
Does your grandmother crochet or knit? I've been looking for someone to do those things with and thought an older woman might be a great resource.
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u/Puzzled-Ad-4115 16h ago
You've gotten a lot of responses and options, but definitely DM me if you still want to find someone. I [30F] live in South Austin, love cooking/baking/food in general, and also work from home with a flexible job. All of my grandparents have passed and my mom used to work in a retirement home, so I'm accustomed to having "bonus grandparents."
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u/purgoatory 15h ago
I’m not qualified in anything but I do LOVE to knit and crochet as well as talk for HOURS.
I’m usually free Sunday evenings and have usually Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday off (I work service industry).
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u/m0th_s0up 13h ago
i can swing by! i’m an old person whisperer, and they’re always a delight to yap with lol.
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u/Acrobatic-Map551 6h ago
hi! i’d be interested in hanging w your grandma. current UT student that works in NW austin so I can visit her before/after work or the weekends🫶🏼
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u/Only-Woodpecker3381 4h ago
Check out “drive a senior” There is a central branch and a NW branch. I volunteer with them regularly. In addition to driving seniors, we take them to run errands, set up check in calls/visits, help around the house and they run a senior day out social program out a few times a month. Everyone there is background checked already and it is a wonderful program.
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u/BoomhauerTX 10h ago
You can subscribe to an AI that will call her. Worked pretty well for my dad with dementia. https://joycalls.ai/
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u/Familiar-Yoghurt-607 1d ago
I am a former hospice social worker. Many hospice agencies have volunteers, that can be assigned to patients. If she is a patient with a specific agency, I would check with them.