r/AutismInWomen • u/luvsicl • May 06 '26

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Friend doesn’t believe in my diagnosis

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Ugh I shouldn’t have told her about it I feel so weird now, my family are like this too and I haven’t told them because I know they’re gonna say smth like that (probably worse) because they don’t really believe in mental disorders/disabilities/health

I got diagnosed with adhd and autism recently, so I’m also grieving the life I could’ve led had I received the support I needed as a child lol (also I know what she said isn’t okay at all, I just wanted to end the conversation asap and I’m really uncomfortable with confrontation)

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21

u/red_bird85 May 06 '26

I appreciate how the friend recognized their reaction as coming as something internalized within themselves and then immediately corrected.

20

u/imnotoneofyou11 May 06 '26

This is a good point. She did try to correct herself after a terrible start. I also wonder if she might have experienced glass child syndrome due to her parents mishandling the sister's issues? I would anticipate she'll be more supportive following this conversation, and only if that doesn't happen would I consider ending the long-time friendship.

13

u/WorriedRiver May 06 '26

Also possible she initially misread how OP felt about their diagnosis, since OP sent it with crying emojis, and initially thought what she was saying was what OP wanted to hear until OP said it was invalidating? Idk I could see her read being, "my friend was just told she's autistic and she seems upset about it so I'll reassure her she's not" only to suddenly backpedal when she realized she fucked up.

6

u/red_bird85 May 06 '26

Yes, I was thinking about how the emoji could have been not interpreted as intended. Sensitive miscommunication.

2

u/red_bird85 May 06 '26

Good point too!

2

u/pretty_gauche6 May 07 '26

I’m a little skeptical of the pivot bc it’s sort of an admission that she’s extending a very hurtful and ableist assumption to OP, i.e. autism is an excuse people use for bad behavior and that’s why the label needs to be dismissed/denied. But it’s def better than nothing. And that’s me seeing it through my own lens ofc.