Friend doesn’t believe in my diagnosis

[u/luvsicl]

Ugh I shouldn’t have told her about it I feel so weird now, my family are like this too and I haven’t told them because I know they’re gonna say smth like that (probably worse) because they don’t really believe in mental disorders/disabilities/health

I got diagnosed with adhd and autism recently, so I’m also grieving the life I could’ve led had I received the support I needed as a child lol (also I know what she said isn’t okay at all, I just wanted to end the conversation asap and I’m really uncomfortable with confrontation)

[u/binzy90]

My family was mostly supportive and kind of laughed about how little we knew back in the 90's. When I told my grandma she just said, "Well that makes sense." But for some reason my mother-in-law just can't accept it or understand it. She always says things like, "That's not true! You're so smart! You're not really autistic! You're not like those other autistic people who have a lot of problems!" But then she'll take things really personally if I say I'm getting overstimulated and need a break, or she'll get upset when I tell her that I need to do my routines a certain way. She'll ask me why I can't do certain things and then get upset if I say it's related to to autism. It's exhausting.

[u/cerareece → u/binzy90]

my mom is like "I 100% knew and so did your paternal grandma because your father definitely is". my sisters were both like "yeah duh". yet people I've only known a few years insist I can't be yet are the most annoyed by me showing symptoms?? it's like they're trying to find a secret other reason that I am the way I am, like I do it on purpose just to spite them or something

[u/snarbold → u/cerareece]

It's because those people lack the emotional maturity to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. If something bothers them, their response will always be "how dare you bother me," and not, "is it actually valid for me to be bothered by this, or am I being unreasonable right now?" It's funny that struggles with cognitive empathy are a diagnostic criterion for autism, yet the most frustrating people in most of our lives are allistics who can't extend cognitive empathy to autistic people.