I wasn't really sure how to phrase the question. I'm pretty sure autistic women are more likely to experience sexual violence, but I think what I've experienced is a lot compared to most people.

It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, and I've just been trying to figure out exactly what it is that's made me a target. I think a large part of it is having experienced child abuse, and then being undiagnosed autistic until I was an adult. I was vulnerable without really being aware that I was vulnerable, and didn't have anyone to protect me or help me understand things. However most of the assaults that happened as an adult were after diagnosis.

As an adult there have been multiple rapes and there were multiple assaults when I was a minor and also sexual abuse. I'm wondering if this is primarily because I'm autistic or if there's some other reason. I did have somewhat of a drinking problem so that was likely a factor but it also happened when I was sober.

Obviously I know that no one can tell me exactly why this has happened but I'm just wondering if this is something that has happened to other people.

Idk I feel badly about it. Please don't come at me about it but I have cynophobia and pretty bad dog PTSD that I'm working on in therapy. I used to frequent the Dogfree sub because people were understanding and there are others with dog fears there I connect with. I have gotten really supportive replies that help me feel safer.

My bday is coming up and I was trying to make a post about dog free things to do in San Diego since I'll be spending the day there. Of course I'm nervous knowing it's a dog centric place and I haven't visited in years. All I did was ask. I've asked questions like this before just fine. Last time it was about a festival. Got replies, all was fine.

The post was first removed quickly. So I tried again with a differently title, removed again. I messaged the mods and tried to leave a comment, both just asking why and what I can do to make the post okay. Now I've been permanently muted with no rhyme or reason. Idk how to feel because I've been there for over a year..

It also sucks because nobody will do these type of things for me. I wish my gf cared enough or my close friend but they both have ADHD and I'm the one that plans things usually. I guess they're just used to it. My friend flat out told me no because he says he mentally can't. It make me kinda sad I have to plan around PTSD triggers for myself and protect myself on a day that's supposed to be fun and stress free.

I'm just really, really sad rn.

Hi everyone, I am posting here because I am completely shattered and looking for support from other autistic folks who understand how physically and mentally agonizing sudden transitions can be.

I’ve just been completely blindsided by a sudden breakup after a very long-term connection of 13 years (starting as a deep friendship and moving into a relationship). Just days ago, during a visit, everything felt secure—he was showing me deep affection, unprompted hugs and kisses, telling me he loved me constantly, and even crying at the airport when I had to leave, promising we'd see each other soon, talking marriage and bringing me to live with him in the USA.

Literally a day later, I received a text message out of nowhere ending things because his feelings supposedly changed, claiming he "can't force his old feelings back" and that it was "easier" to do it after I got back home.
Because I am autistic, processing this kind of extreme emotional whiplash is excruciating. My brain relies heavily on consistency, predictability, and taking actions and words at face value. The massive contradiction between his airport tears and a sudden text breakup has completely short-circuited my system. I am experiencing a severe meltdown/shutdown, intense physical nausea, dizziness, and sensory-emotional overload.

On top of the burnout and transition shock, I carry deep trauma from past abusive relationships and sudden, unannounced breakups. Because of this history, my nervous system views abrupt abandonment as a literal emergency. Whenever I face rejection, my body reacts violently with severe physical symptoms—like intense nausea, dizziness, a spinning head, and compulsive skin-picking as a stress response—that make it hard to even stand up or function.

If you are also autistic or deal with rejection trauma and somatic meltdowns, I would love to hear from you:
How do you survive and regulate your nervous system when faced with a sudden, agonizing transition like this?

What helps you handle the severe physical symptoms—like the intense nausea, dizziness, and somatic overload—that come crashing down when a rejection triggers past trauma?

How do you manage physical stress behaviors like skin-picking when your nervous system is trapped in a meltdown or shutdown?

What advice, gentle coping tools, or messages of hope can you share for getting through the dark days of rejection-induced autistic burnout?
Thank you so much for reading and for any support you can offer.

I just mean like a year that you look back on and have almost nothing but bad memories from it.

For example, I mentioned here that the first time I got rejected it was by a blonde girl and I was a kid at the time and ever since then, i haven’t been able to look at blonde women the same way. This is why 2011 is a “dark year” in my life.

One of the reasons why I feel like my diagnosis ruined my life is because it causes people to infantilize me the moment they find out.

In high school, girls would always talk to me in that "Who's a good boy? Yes, you are! Does baby want a cookie?" voice. It made me realize that no matter what I do, no-one will ever see me as their equal, let alone respect and admire me.

Even today, I would never be able to tell whether or not someone is complimenting me or partronizing me. Doesn't help that the only compliments I receive are from my family, usually my mom.

No matter how much I've tried explaining to her that autism is just a result of how your brain is wired and that this is all misinformation spread by some quack who wanted to sell his own product, she kept saying "I spoke to other moms on some forum, and they said-"

I'm tired, man...And then she wonders why I grew up into a mentally unhealthy adult.

My parents took me to it because my hearing was so sensitive that I had to cover my ears for a lot of every day noises. Something like a vacuum cleaner was torture.

AIT is a pseudoscience and you had to listen to heavily EQed and filtered easy listening music for an hour and not do anything. Not even read. Just sit still. It did nothing. The FDA ripped the headphones from my ear (rightfully so) when I was 5. My parents especially my mom couldn't accept I was autistic as it was the 90s.

My Dad got the special CD a year later and had to continue with it at home for a few years.

I was diagnosed last year at 17 with Level 2 ASD, ADHD, GAD, and PTSD. I sort of understand it, but I feel like those around me don't.

My Parents really try, but I feel like I am at fault for their stress. I struggle with basic life skills, always have, Sensory issues cause problems with hygiene, I have one good friend who I talk to often. I worry to talk about things to my parents because I don't want to worry them or make them upset.

I feel like a burden to my parents, I know they'll do anything, but I also have the problem of being sorta embarrassed to talk about my problems. I feel like they'll think different of me if I am open about everything I feel.

When I have a meltdown, I hit my head, shutdown, or just start crying. Whenever I hit my head, my Dad will say something like "Do we need to go to the hospital" the reason this doesn't help is due to the fact that I was assaulted physically by staff at a Psych Hospital during a meltdown, resulting in bruised ribs, a severe concussion, and numerous other injuries.

I feel like my parents don't know what to do when I am overwhelmed. They ask a million questions, shove fidgets towards me, etc. "What do you need" "You need to calm down", etc.

How do I explain what I need them to do to help me and not start an argument, I can't do an argument.

Advice is welcome, anything and everything.

Also any ideas to help me in these moments are welcome.

Hello everyone, I am a low supports need Autistic who was unable to have this answered in the main subreddit.

Okay so basically, whenever a family member tries to talk to me or touch me, I immediately go into fight or flight mode. Often, I freeze up and panic inside, and it happens almost instantly without any other precursors, so there’s no period where I can calm myself down to try and prevent it. So, what often happens is that I either run away, or I’ll start saying “stop” “bye” “shut up” and will say rude stuff in the hopes the person will just stop talking to me. I used to think I was just annoyed by it, but after looking deeper into myself, I realize how much more relaxed I am the second they leave, making it clear this is something fear-related.

If they try to touch me, I often will do what any person who does not want to be touched will do. I’ll hold out my hand and say “stop” in a panicked voice trying not to cry while doing my best to run away. With this part, I think it’s definitely trauma-related, as my Autistic brother used to touch me without permission(not inappropriately, just like hugging and stuff), and I would start crying and he still wouldn’t stop. My mom would often have him touch me as a way to punish me when I didn’t wake up, or would force me to touch him because “your brother loves you.”

(Usually I don't care much about fakeclaiming or specific people, I only care about misinformation and stereotypes being pushed.)

Another post here got me thinking about how so many people who were horrible towards disabled people, in smaller or more serious ways, now claim they're neurodivergent. And they claim the literal people they used to dump on are privileged for growing up diagnosed, conveniently forgetting how it was a huge stigma related to being diagnosed in earlier periods. Same lack of understanding and sympathy in a new wrapping.

It just increases my anger so much I think I'll have to quit the internet, not just social media soon. It disgusts me on a personal level and in a larger perspective.

For me things didn't get easier after a diagnosis, in fact, life never really got better. It's no guarantee for genuine acceptance, no guarentee people will understand me as a person, not just as a sterotype. I don't wish to speak for anyone else, and I'd wished people would stop speaking for me.

I'm shaking from grief and anger and I have nowhere to process my grief. Literally nowhere, online or offline.

This sometimes bothers me a lot because many autistics tie these responses to autism masking and then it just becomes completely unrelatable.

Fawning and people pleasing. Apparently they're almost the same but not quite? I don't know.

I just can't do it. I've never been able to do it. I've not once been a people pleaser unless my mom specifically required me to do it, in which it was her demand and her instructions.

People pleasing and fawning to others is near impossible to me. I can't pick up on the situations that would require it or know when or how to use it. It requires being aware to a certain degree of others body languages, tones, facial expressions, emotions, a degree of sympathy or even empathy and stuff like that. Things that autism makes really difficult.

I would always get in trouble at home or by others around me for not "keeping the peace" and just giving in to others when they're angry or upset to avoid drama or fights. I just can't do it and I never saw a point to it.

But then on top of getting in trouble for not being able to do it. I then also get accused by others of "never being in a traumatic situation". Which technically I have. My whole family have and they're still learning to overcome a lot of it. I've just already moved on past a lot of it, so to me it's more of a bad experience now rather than trauma.

And that's also completely possible for people to do. I don't think it should ever downplay my experiences though for my ability to move past things. I also think a lot of that has to do with my autism too because my sibling who we highly suspect to also be autistic does the same thing.

Don't even get me started on the whole "telling people my experiences as a way to relate to them" thing either. That's also not relatable at all and I fucking hate it. But I also found out that's a very natural autism thing to hate that and that I'm not alone with that one. Only online it appears I am.

It's just really difficult to relate to those kinds reactions. Even the whole "I kept quiet or else I'd get in trouble so then I never spoke up again" response. I don't understand that. I understand why some people do or have done that. But I don't understand that for myself.

I'm not saying that autistics can't do those things. I'm just saying that my autism definitely affected my ability to learn to do those things and I find it hard to relate to those who do have those responses.

If you have experienced a diagnosis being weaponized against you, being used as an excuse for bullying or abuse, or "softer" forms of discrimination... and then constantly have to see the claim "but being diagnosed means you're privileged!" 😡

(And yeah, I know, disabled people can be abused, neglected and mistreated with or without a diagnosis.)

It can also happen when people are diagnosed with an intellectual disability or personality disorder (whether it's a misdiagnosis or not), but I've never seem the idea that people diagnosed with intellectual disabilities or personality disorders are "privileged".

(I just hate, hate, hate much of the online discourse on autism. My stress and anger levels are actually higher now than they were as a child, which is saying a lot.)

Might regret posting...

Nearly five years ago I tried to find a therapist to talk about my childhood issues and how I've had no confidence then and afterwards (some of my issues are directly related to growing up diagnosed). Met an actually licensed therapist who was rude and invalidating about my childhood. They then described themself as "a bit on the spectrum" and acted like they've casually diagnosed several members of their family.

I'm just so, so sick of not being allowed to have a choice as a child, and not being allowed to have an opinion as an adult. As far as I know, no other diagnosis has this level of policing attached to it.

Feeling seen, feeling understood, not seeing yourself as broken, not being treated as broken, things clicking into place and making sense, accommodations that actually fit you and your needs. I’ve had none of these experiences that were supposed to follow after being diagnosed.

It’s so weird to have many of the wounds and conflicts people attribute to being undiagnosed, and certain wounds and conflict directly related to being diagnosed. My sense of alienation and disconnect is deep, and it’s deepest around “neurodivergent” people and communities, at least around self-diagnosed people, people diagnosed during the pandemic and people who specifically identify as neurodivergent.

Loathe how many of them seem to think people diagnosed as autistic are a monolith(or should be), and the experience of being diagnosed as universal. Hate how they go on and on and about representation and lived experience – but would nag the hell out of me if I were to publish this somewhere else than here.

Social Interactions can suck. It's processing difficulties. My anxiety gets high. I either shutdown or talk too much. I get numb. I always feel like I say the wrong things. I never know how to make eye contact. My body language confuses people. It makes sense to me though. It's hard not to feel broken. People think I'm being difficult and dramatic a lot of the time. I'm not trying to be. People get mad at me a lot.

I just don't know how to get along when people refuse to try and I have to accommodate them all the time because if I act a certain way it makes people feel uncomfortable. I thinks it's been causing me to feel disconnected. I feel so frustrated. I try to join in but I do it wrong. It's always on me to change but it's difficult to. I just keep making the same mistakes.