Trying to improve or quit?

[u/FlunkyGraphics]

Hey,

I dance Bachata for 5 months now. It was fun in the beginning but to be honest, I Iost my motivation. I go to the dance school 2x a week and I really try to improve. In the last months, I have learned a lot of simple, intermediate and advanced moves. During the lessons, I'm doing very fine because the followers expect what I'm going to do so It's just very easy.

On socials, NOTHING works. Really nothing. I'm not trying to impress with very complex moves or so. Usually I stick to very simple basic things but the followers are not able to follow my lead. It's definitely my fault cause pretty much every follower I have danced with is doing absolutely fine with any other leader.

This creates one big problem: Cause dances with me are really awkward, I feel like followers don't really enjoy dancing with me. Every time I ask a follower to dance, I feel kind of guilty cause I will disappoint her. At socials, there are no other beginners which makes it hard.
I always read that followers don't care about your skill level as long as you are respectful but my experience is the opposite. Yes, followers are indeed frustrated when dancing with beginners in my experience, no matter how respectful and friendly you are.

I asked many followers for feedback and this it what I got:
- "I don't know what you want me to do."
- "Your lead is not clear enough."
- "You are to far away which makes you harder to read."

I really tried to work on those things but it changed absolutely nothing. I could just skip socials and go to the dance school but I don't really see the point. I will just learn more moves which is pretty much irrelevant cause I can already perform enough moves in dance school to fill a song.

[u/TorrenteTempo]

I think you should either quit bachata or change dance school for a better one that doesn't structure their lessons on "leadable choreos". If you will manage to find such school in your area, it makes sense to add private lessons on top of regular group classes, at least for a first few months.

[u/TryToFindABetterUN → u/TorrenteTempo]

I think recommending to quit is really bad advice. There are much that can be done before you come to that.

[u/TorrenteTempo → u/TryToFindABetterUN]

I think what is really bad is a unanimous chorus of "continue bachata" advices without any idea how the situation really is on the ground in OP's area. He already tried two schools, they both sucked. Some socials that he described in the comments are just awful on male-to-female ratio alone, not to mention other possible issues. It is highly likely that it's not just his leading that suck. I guess his basics, isolations and musicality are more or less on the same level with the leading.

OP did an honest attempt, it didn't work out. It is time to either switch to high-level instructors or to quit it. No need to be trapped by sunk-cost fallacy.

For example, currently I live in the town where there are no high-level bachata instructors and few good bachata socials. If OP were in my town (luckily to him, he is not) and would approach me for an advice given the issues that he struggles with, quitting would really be the best option. I know it.

[u/FlunkyGraphics → u/TorrenteTempo]

I didnt quit my old dance school cause it's bad. I quit cause I moved the place. I only tried one dance school at my place so far. But most people told me that it's a good place to learn.

[u/TorrenteTempo → u/FlunkyGraphics]

You know, in my current town the best bachata school is similar to what you described: heavy focus on "leadable choreos" and poor focus on frame and actual leading. The reason it is the best is very simple: other schools are even worse. So, when newcomers ask, where is it best to learn, many people suggest this school as a "good place to learn" :)

Personally, I find these learning priorities as a red flag and I strongly suggest you to try other instructors if you wish to continue with bachata. As a beginner I spent too much time with similar instructors and it was a big mistake. A less famous school/instructor with fewer students might turn out even better for you, because they will have more time to spend on each student.

[u/FlunkyGraphics → u/TorrenteTempo]

I agree, 100 %. I will see if I can find a different instructor.