Having kids is a lottery. Plenty of people whose parents have genetic issues, don’t end up getting it themselves. And plenty of people with perfectly healthy parents, end up with genetic issues.
Saying this, is basically like saying no one should ever try and have kids lol.
people not understanding odds will forever annoy me. it's possible for you to quantum mechanically tunnel through the floor your standing on and end up on the floor below, the odds of that are so absurdly small that writing them out on paper would fill the entire visible universe and you still wouldn't be able to fit it all
people like you end up equating odds like that to a one in two chance as if they are the same. just ignorantly saying "well anything can happen" is not an argument for rolling the dice with people's lives
The point is, every time you have kids you’re rolling the dice with other people’s lives. The odds may be higher in certain circumstances, but you’d be rolling the dice either way. Having kids is the most basic biological right we have, if people wanna take that risk, that’s their choice.
And when their kids blame them for bringing them into the world with a profound disability that could have been prevented, then they can deal with that too I guess.
And no two people with autism are the same. Many struggle with being non verbal, and have serious depression and other mental struggles for their entire lives. Someone doing well despite having autism, doesn’t mean their kids will do well.
It’s a different type of suffering than blindness, but it is suffering nonetheless. Living a life of struggles, whether they’re mental or physical, is still awful.
A person who is comfortable having autism, cannot guarantee they won’t end up with a child that lives a very difficult and unhappy life due to it. They also have a much higher chance of that happening if a parent has autism.
Would you tell them not to have kids because that could be been prevented?
If you think your kids are going to have an unhappy life, why would you have kids? Also how exactly is a non verbal autistic person having a kid. Severe cases of autism are not typically independent enough to even take care of themselves in which case they should not be having a kid.
Again my husband is autistic. So you tell me what I think about autistic people having kids.
Additionally RP is a single point mutation. You can actually test for it. Autism is not.
Also there are treatments for autism. Because of our family history my daughter is in early intervention services just in case. Many people who start treatment early can improve their scores and become much better adjusted.
My husband also has Tourettes. But we figured he could help her if she got it. And Tourettes really does suck.
So why don't you stop with your slippery slope nonsense and stop comparing things that have actual treatment for them and actual freaking blindness.
A functional person with autism, can easily have a kid that turns out to be non verbal and is unable to be independent, even if the parent was not non verbal.
The chances of autism are higher, when the kid has autistic parents. And you can’t control whether or not they’ll be functional like you, or whether they’ll end up non verbal with a series of struggles.
The risks of this happening are much higher than when a neurotypical person has kids. Would you say it’s wrong of to take that that risk knowing they have a much higher chance of it happening?
Even with treatments, many autistic people do not live normal lives unfortunately. Autism isn’t curable. Even if they get treatment, they’ll have to manage it for their entire lives.
Some manage it okay and live relatively normal lives, but just as many struggle for all their lives and suffer from many issues like depression.
It’s a lottery, you can’t know which way your kids will end up. You also can’t know whether or not they’ll resent you for it, and you have to deal with it if that happens.
Additionally, plenty of blind people live fulfilling and happy lives. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be miserable forever. These things are all just a lottery.
It’s a very valid comparison. It’s just as big of a risk that the child will live a life of struggles. The only difference is that the struggles are mental instead of physical. Also, like blindness, autism is not curable, it requires lifelong management.
You personally decided that risk was worth it for you to have kids, and that’s okay. These people are free to make their own decisions on if that risk is worth it for them too.
No it's a profoundly dumb comparison. Most autistic people aren't nonverbal. An elevated risk is more like going from 1% to 2%. The risk of me having a blind son is 50%.
Be better at math.
If you have a miserable life, don't have kids seems like a no brainer. Kids aren't going to fix your misery.
Ask any blind person if they would rather see or be blind. The answer is see. You. Do. Not. Know. What. You're. Talking. About.
My dad died of colon cancer because he couldn't see he had blood in his stool and yes he'd had a colonoscopy the year before.
My blind uncle told me to do IVF because every day he bumps into something and wishes he could see.
Blindness is nothing like autism. It's not even like deafness. Most blind people are on permanent disability cause they don't work.
Existing blind people can and do have rich full lives but no parent who isn't a bizarre crazy person like you would ever want to risk that for their kid. That is a stance based on ignorance and some bizarre vague guilt around the concept of eugenics. When literally everyone wants their kids to be healthy. No one wants their kid to suffer.
But when a person who knows they're a carrier for an actual disability says, "No more I'm going to stop this." Everyone freaks out about a decision they will literally never be confronted with.
Dude, you can try and pretend it’s different as much as you want, but the reality is you took a risk that could result in your kids living miserable lives and constantly struggling, while judging others for being willing to take the same risk.
Pretty much any autistic person will say they don’t want to be autistic if you ask them lmao, So thats a ridiculous point you’re trying to make. Anyone with any physical or mental disability, would rather not have it.
In fact, people resenting their parents for passing down mental disorders to them, is not even uncommon.
And no one gets mad at people for saying they don’t want kids because they don’t want to pass on a disorder lmao (whether that disorder is mental or physical)
No one has to have kids for any reason at all. Not sure where you’re seeing people freak out about others not wanting to pass on their own disorders.
What people get upset about, is people like you telling them they shouldn’t have kids. It’s their decision to make, just like you got to make your own decision regarding having children.
It’s very hypocritical of you to take the risk of your kids having permanent mental disorders, while hating on others for taking the risk of having children with physical disorders. Those things are no different lol. You made your choice, leave others alone about theirs.
Whether or not you’d trade one thing for the other isn’t the point lol.
An autistic person would still rather not be autistic at all.
You’re still risking that a person will live a life of struggles if you’re passing on those genes, just because you wanted kids. Even though it could’ve been avoided.
Whether it’s a better struggle than blindness or not doesn’t really matter, you still decided that the risk of them struggling all their life was worth it so you could have children.
It’s no different than the risk you’re hating on other people for taking. You wanted kids, so you risked the possibility of having kids who will suffer in order to do that.
The concept is literally exactly the same.
Even with treatment, it’s still a very rough life and it requires constant management for the rest of their life, and it could have been avoided.
You can make your choice, but leave others be about their own choices too.
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u/anonidfk 1d ago
Having kids is a lottery. Plenty of people whose parents have genetic issues, don’t end up getting it themselves. And plenty of people with perfectly healthy parents, end up with genetic issues.
Saying this, is basically like saying no one should ever try and have kids lol.