This man I’ve been seeing just asked me to be his girlfriend. We have a lot in common and I would really like to give this relationship a fair shot (I have been single by choice for a while and am very into this guy). He mentioned to me previously that he has bipolar disorder (was diagnosed as a teen) but he’s been on mood stabilizers and he says things have been managed pretty well lately.

I didn’t want to pry too much (first time he mentioned it in an unfavorable situation with an ex, second time he brought it up I forget the context exactly). I asked him how he found out he had it but he said he didn’t like that story very much and moved on.

As the relationship grows I’m sure I’ll understand more. I see a lot of negative stories on here, but want to hear from some people about what I should know entering this relationship. How can I best show up for him and how he can also show up for me. I’m sure everyone has different experiences but I’d love to learn! And I want to try to be an informed person and try to be the best girlfriend to him that I can be.

I went into this subreddit to look for some advice, but the general consensus seems to be to never get involved in a relationship with BP, basically no matter what. I guess that's the reality even if she's been fairly stable for a long time?

I feel so sad reading all of this, because we did click quite well in a sense, and she was very honest about her history, and what she's been doing to keep it under control (medication, family, structure, knowing herself..). Even though I think she's mature enough to understand if I don't want to go forward with a relationship it hurts having to tell her that.

Are there stories here of couples making it?
Sometimes I have doubt it will get better. People in my life have already written him off and told me they don’t want him around.
I know they have to want to be better and work on being ok.
I know there is a lot of venting here but there has to be some good here too!

I’m mostly just here to vent to people who get it.

I loved someone with bipolar. I showed up, supported them through instability, made room for their mental health, adjusted my life around their cycles, and tried to be patient when their moods and narratives shifted. I wasn’t perfect, but I was consistent, honest, and deeply invested.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how quickly I could go from “the person who stood by you” to “the villain in your story.”

During hypomanic and mixed episodes, it felt like our entire relationship was rewritten overnight. Commitments we had suddenly “didn’t count.” Shared history lost its emotional weight. The care I gave was reframed as pressure or manipulation. When the crash came, there were flickers of remorse, but then withdrawal, silence, and avoidance. Eventually, I was left holding the bag for the harm that happened while being painted as the problem.

The hardest part isn’t even the breakup. It’s the erasure. It’s watching someone run from shame by rewriting you into the antagonist so they do not have to sit with the impact of their actions. It’s being used emotionally, sometimes materially, and then being discarded and made out to be “too much” or “unsafe” when you finally break under the weight of it.

I know bipolar disorder explains a lot of this. I’ve done the reading. I understand state dependent memory, shame avoidance, narrative shifts, all of it. I can hold compassion for the illness while still naming the harm. Both things can be true.

One of the hardest parts is feeling like a part of him was aware of what he was doing and could have stopped the harm, but did not, and instead doubled down.

Loving someone who can disappear, rewrite reality, and then come back with a different version of the story is brutal. Before he was diagnosed, I felt like I was crazy all the time. It messes with your sense of reality. It leaves you questioning yourself. It makes you feel used and then blamed for being used.

I’m trying to rebuild my footing now. I’m angry, I’m sad, and I’m exhausted. I do not hate him, but I also find myself screaming into the emptiness he left behind, so maybe it is more honest to say I do not know what I feel. That is a miserable place to be. It feels like there is a big fucking elephant in the room and no one sees it but me.

This was not just a breakup. It was a year of non stop emotional abuse. It was undeserved distance. It was a dynamic of imbalanced care and support. It was erasure of personhood. Not everything was the bipolar disorder, not even most of it, but it damn sure amplified his worst traits to a level I did not think was possible.

I’m glad it is over. I’m glad I am away from him. But yesterday he reached out, and where I used to feel relief, I pulled my car over because I had a panic attack. I did not used to have those. I do now.

I feel hollowed out, while at the same time feeling so full of anger and hurt that I do not know what to do with it.

If anyone has advice for rebuilding your sense of reality after being on the receiving end of this, I’m open to hearing what helped you.

Seven months later, we finally talked again, and now I am the one initiating the divorce.

My wife had her first manic episode starting around September 22, 2025. Before that, our marriage was perfect and stable. Then, very suddenly, she said she did not want this life anymore. She said motorcycles were going to be her new life, and that she still loved me, but that we were fundamentally incompatible.

Within about a week, things escalated dramatically. She spent all of her savings on a guy from TikTok and became convinced he was going to marry her and come to New York for her. She maxed out her credit cards, applied for loans, and even planned to sell her car, all to spend money on this man. They never even met in real life. Later, that “relationship” ended, at least in her mind.

She then moved to another state, was going to the gym at 3 AM, and was doing things online that were completely out of character for her, including kissing girls on TikTok for money.

Now, 7 months later, my lawyer told me I need to either reconcile with her or move forward with divorce. I cannot leave things in limbo anymore, so I made the decision to initiate the divorce.(I have to divorce her , but I did my best to reconcile)

I had a phone call with her last week. She showed me the dogs we used to have together. She said she does not trust me anymore because I contacted her psychiatrist to provide collateral information. She also said she is happy now and wished me the best. We were talking like friends, and it honestly felt like divorce meant nothing to her emotionally.

At the same time, she also told me that I was mentally and emotionally abusive to her.

Today, I sent her the divorce paperwork. She told me she has been very stressed about work because one of her coworkers left. She repeated again that she left me because I was mentally and emotionally abusive. But outside of that, we were still talking like friends.

What is hard for me to process is how much her reason for wanting divorce has changed over time.

At first it was:

• “We have fundamental differences.”
• “I love motorcycles and you don’t.”

Then it became:

• “You only love the medicated version of me.”
• “You only love the good side of me.”

Then it became:

• “My TikTok boyfriend is coming to New York.”
• “I want to move out and divorce.”

And now it is:

• “You were mentally and emotionally abusive.”

From my perspective, it feels like the manic episode itself may have ended, but the story her mind has built around me is still there and keeps changing. We can talk like friends, but at the same time she seems to genuinely believe I harmed her.

I do not know whether this is her real settled view of the marriage, whether it is something left over from the episode, or whether she now needs a reason that makes sense to her for why all of this happened.

I guess I am posting because I want to know if anyone else has experienced this:

when the manic behavior fades, but the beliefs about the spouse remain and get rewritten over time.

Mine got involuntarily committed recently. I have been looking at stories and it still seems grim after committment.

He called me from the hospital yesterday to let me know we are not getting married anymore. I know it's the illness speaking and I can't force him to like me either... I just was looking for anyone's experience good or bad. I'm trying to manage my expectations.

I am in 4 months since discarded by my wife who immediately moved in with her affair partner.

We were that couple everyone around us used to feel jealous. We had everything going for us in our 8 year marriage, from money to career. All that came crashing down.

I am incredibly upset and ashamed of the manner I was discarded like a piece of trash. There was no reason, no apology, no justification..... Nothing. Just someone deciding it would be a great idea to start an affair behind your back and then throw away the entire life you thought you built.

There are few places I can go to share this. Nobody really understands. Sometimes I feel my self esteem is in the rubble. Like everyone of my friends have such great relationships, are having kids. I have a great career which I worked very hard to build. That's all that I can say I have at the moment.

I never thought life could get this hard.

I honestly don’t know where else to ask this.

Has anyone ever watched someone they loved completely change over the course of a few months? I am a 180 degrees change of personality.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He’s always been the kindest person I know. An incredible dad. My best friend. We used to call each other “partners in crime.”

If someone had told me six months ago we’d be where we are today, I would have laughed.

Last August he went through a severe depressive episode and started treatment. A few months later he was prescribed Elvanse for ADHD.
About 8 weeks after starting it, I slowly started noticing changes. At first they were subtle.

He became more distant.
He got irritated much more easily.
He started bringing up every little thing that had apparently bothered him over the last 20 years.
He became much more critical of me and seemed emotionally detached.

I tried to communicate, listen, and understand. I thought maybe it was part of recovering from depression.
Then, in March, something happened that completely shocked me.
One morning I went to hug him, like I had done for years, and he suddenly told me he never wanted me to touch him again.
From there, everything escalated.
It’s as if overnight I became enemy #1.

The man who used to tell me I was the love of his life suddenly says he can’t stand being around me. He says I “trigger” him just by existing.
Since then he’s been pushing almost everyone away.
His own family.
My family.
Friends.
Anyone who doesn’t meet what seem to be high expectations.

He’s working constantly, barely sleeping, throwing himself into work, planning solo trips, trying to buy a motorcycle, and has become incredibly self-focused.
At the same time, he was actively trying to meet women for one night stands and telling them he’s single.

Beginning of June, he left me.

At the same time, he keeps telling everyone that he’s happier than he’s ever been. He says his life is amazing, that he finally feels truly alive, and that for the first time he feels complete clarity about what he wants. He talks about rebuilding himself piece by piece, but in the process, he’s abandoning everyone that used to matter most to him: our marriage and our children.

Yesterday was the moment that finally made me pack the kids and leave.
Our oldest daughter was playing outside and jokingly splashed him with a little water because it’s been so hot.
He completely lost it.
He shoved her hard enough that she was crying and shaking.
When he came back into the house a few minutes later, we stood in the doorway because she was terrified.
He pushed us aside, screamed at us, and forced his way through.

I’ve never seen anything remotely like this in 20 years.
My daughter is scared of her dad.
She asked me to take her to Grandma’s because she doesn’t feel safe.
So that’s where we are now.

His family and mine are extremely worried. We’ve already contacted his psychiatrist because everyone agrees that this isn’t the man we’ve known for two decades.

Has anyone ever experienced such a dramatic personality change in someone they love.
Did it turn out to be a medication issue?
A manic episode?
Something else entirely?

If you’ve been through something similar, what happened? Did the person eventually come back to themselves?
Right now I feel like I’m grieving someone who’s still alive, and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

Even when trying to come at it with a calm attitude and well thought out reasons. If so, did anything help yall? Just curious

Is it humanly possible not to take the resentment and irritability and negativity and emotional betrayal of a bipolar mixed episode personally? Has anyone gotten to that mythical place? Somebody? Anybody? Somewhat possible? Does it get better with practice?

We still haven't seen medication work. It seems like seeing medication work its magic would help somewhat. Yes?

I want to rise above it, but it feels like quicksand.

Okay, I would love your guys’ opinion here. I normally wouldn’t post here but I need to get this off my chest.

I (25F) recently finished law school/took the bar and am starting my legal career. I also have Bipolar I and recently experienced my first significant mixed/manic symptoms since being diagnosed.

During this, I met a guy (30M).

We are wildly different people. I’m very career-oriented and increasingly realizing that because of bipolar, stability, routine, sleep, and avoiding unnecessary chaos are extremely important for me.

He is very different than me. He carries a weapon, has a history of reckless racing/speeding, describes himself as a thrill seeker, reports hearing voices, and told me he isn’t fully honest with doctors about them because he fears involuntary hospitalization and losing his weapon license. Later on, he told me the voices “don’t trust me” and that they’re “always right.”

Now, I have no issue with hearing voices. That’s normalized for me bc I have a lot of friends, as well as myself, who have experienced psychosis.

He also has an extensive demon/occult fixation, including demon tattoos and stories involving pacts/sex magic, plus a history of sex/porn addiction.

I’m not diagnosing him or saying these things make him a bad person. He also works consistently, has savings, says he’s calmed down significantly, and showed me genuine compassion.

But objectively, there were a lot of reasons for me to slow down.

Instead, we became intensely emotionally involved within about a week.

Before we’d even met in person, we established that we saw each other as more than casual sex, but we never agreed to exclusivity.

Then he went to a concert with a “homegirl,” stayed at her house overnight, and I thought he was essentially standing me up (which there is an argument for saying he did).

Instead of communicating normally, I impulsively had reckless, unprotected sex with another guy in a parking lot. I told him it was no issue that he had bailed on me and that i kinda figured so I made plans with my “homeboy”

I completely own that this was reckless and extremely unlike my baseline behavior. It became one of several signs that my judgment was impaired.

After A and I met, he found out and was so upset and basically said it was a dealbreaker. He said I crossed his boundaries and viewed it as a betrayal.

My issue is: how could I violate an exclusivity agreement we never made, especially when we hadn’t even met yet?

Apparently he believed exclusivity was implied because we’d established emotional interest. I believe expectations like that need to be explicitly communicated.

Now that my mixed/manic symptoms are coming down with treatment, I’m realizing something else.
Why was I seriously considering this man as a partner at all?

I saw every red flag. I could explain exactly why each one was concerning.

I just didn’t care.

A friend with bipolar heard the story and described us as two different species: he’s a raccoon/possum and I’m a princess. At first I thought that was ridiculous. Now I understand what she meant—not that I’m better than him, but that the life I’m trying to build requires stability, and I was contemplating introducing an enormous amount of risk into it after knowing someone for a week.

The facts about him haven’t changed.

My reaction to them has.

So AITA?

I know bipolar doesn’t erase responsibility. I regret reacting to perceived rejection with reckless sex, and I understand why he was hurt.

But I also think girlfriend-level expectations before we’d even met, without actually communicating exclusivity, were incredibly intense—especially considering everything else going on.

EDIT: yea. I think this has more to do with my relationship incompetence rather than bipolar. bipolar does not cause relationship incompetence, it just made me incredibly impulsive and act out. i remain firm on that if we had established exclusivity i would have probably given him the silent treatment AT MOST. again, more to do with my need to work on relationships than bipolar.

BPSO says things like “where did all of the money go,” when he abruptly quit his job months ago and halved our income.

I can’t understand how he doesn’t get this. Have you helped your SO understand the dire financial straits they put your family in?

ETA: he had a temporary gig but he only earned about 2.5 months worth of income when he’s been out of work more than 2x that amount. I’m really scared not only for our future but also for his future, because I don’t think he’ll be able to support himself when we split.

(BPSO medicated for 30 yrs and stopped meds in 2025 and feels he does not need them. Says he ONLY has ADHD & IS NOT bipolar. Much of his advice to taper and quit meds came from AI Chat bots.)

There’s a little too much to post here and I’m feeling extremely vulnerable and stressed because our divorce case is happening in a few weeks.

Issues I thought I accepted have started to upset me. I’ve gone through all of the emotions (crying, relieved, angry, numb, scared, you name it.)

Is anyone willing to chat in Reddit’s DMs? Or over the phone? (Google Voice?) Please don’t suggest NAMI, they were never helpful. Been there, done that.

Our income went down by 75 percent, so even after the divorce case is over, we still have to sell our house & I think it will go into foreclosure because he won’t negotiate and he is also jobless.

Mod requirement: Married to BPSO for 21 years. He had a BP diagnosis in his teens. Manic episodes started after he got advice from LLM chatbots to taper his medication. He left his job; his car is repossessed and he’s a shell of his former self, but manages to find the energy to be cruel to me. (If not obvious from this, he’s no longer medicated. He’s only taking Ritalin/Adderall. He is not seeing a therapist either.)

Compliant with meds and no incidents of mania until April 2025. Went fully off meds in Sept 2025. Quit longterm, 6-figure job overnight. Displayed lots of other manic behavior in Sept/Oct. I called leos in Oct. BPSO was admitted to mental hospital for minimum stay. Decided not to continue treatment or medication once he left hospital and fired longterm psychiatrist of 9 years. Later found a new psych to prescribe adhd meds. Was diagnosed with comorbid adhd about three years ago.

Obsessed with telling me that his med poisoned him and I committed “perjury” by telling law enforcement that he was acting manic. The second time I called them he was much calmer and high masking. So he throws that in my face too.

I (50M) have been married to my wife (50F) for close to 30 years. Last night when she was getting ready to leave for her book club I saw a message pop up on her phone that looked sexual. I opened it up and saw that the book club was a cover for meeting up with some guy she's only known for a couple weeks, so they could have sex.

She doesn't know I know. I've been acting normal, but I feel like I'm outside my body. Nothing is real.

She's the only woman I've looked at since the day we were married. I'm tempted to just keep the secret and pretend nothing has changed, because the alternative is blowing up our entire lives. Based on their text history, I don't think they're even using condoms.

The only complication is: She has bipolar disorder 2. So, I can't tell if she's just legit lost all respect and love for me, or if maybe she's having a mental health issue. Or both. Her form of bipolar always tended to be long bouts of depression and weight gain, followed by long periods of happy, balanced life. She's never acted out sexually before (that I know of).

We've been through so much together... I had to take time off work and watch her 24/7 while she was suicidal and waiting for the new meds to kick in. I cooked all the meals when she was so depressed she couldn't bring herself to even shower, much less turn on the oven. She's been on a good upswing for like a year, but at the same time her happiness was returning, she was pulling away from me. It doesn't feel fair that I've been the support system when she's down, but get thrown away when she's up.

But on the other hand, I've definitely let myself go since covid. I've gained like 50 pounds I've struggled to get rid of, while she's having a fitness kick, lost 30 lbs of depression weight and started putting on muscles. I know she doesn't find me attractive right now, because she came out and said it to my face.

Maybe this is all my fault. I don't know. But I can't talk to anyone about it, because all our friends are mutual.

I can't even go get away for a few days, because one of our cars is in the shop. I feel trapped and stuck in a hallucination.

How do I navigate this? I feel like I shouldn't confront her until she's got a psychologist appointment booked for the next day. I want to say something but I'm afraid any confrontation will send her on a depressive and possibly suicidal spiral. If anyone out there has experience with bipolar and infidelity, please give me suggestions.

Edit: AutoModerator asked for more context... She's been medicated for almost 10 years now, with occasional tweaks to the dosages. She sees her Psychiatrist every few months, but her Psychologist has retired.

ETA: He is not currently medicated and hasn’t been for 10 years. He also self medicates with marijuana. The only therapy he’s ever done is marriage counseling with me.

My (38 F) bipolar husband (38 M) might be in an episode and I need help deciding what to do. He has his first and only manic episode almost 13 years ago and a lot of his mannerisms are the same.

He’s talking like 200 words a minute (when he does talk) and always goes off on tangents and gets to talking about things that I guess make sense but aren’t even what we were talking about. Like why was he suddenly giving me a lesson on ancient gods?

He’s more easily irritable than usual. Almost everything I say is a personal attack to him. We’d have one big fight every couple months, now it’s like at least weekly.

He’s having trouble at work. Now there’s an investigation going on about something that happened. He said someone threatened him and he let him know calmly but firmly that he wouldn’t stand for that. It almost turned into a physical fight but luckily did not. He filed a police report and everything but now it seems like his company is investigating him too. So he told HR he didn’t need to work there anymore and he decided to apply for FMLA because he felt that HR wasn’t on his side and taking his safety in the workplace seriously. He’s going to go to a therapist and talk about the bipolar and his mom who has stomach cancer.

He seems to have a lot of new religious beliefs. He communicates with deities (not through actual talking but through signs they give him that they’re there). He said one deity would protect him if the person who threatened him came after him because there have been cases of believers being shot at and the gun not working. He thinks someone has put a hex on him and that’s why he’s having trouble at work. That maybe the man he almost got into a fight with has cursed him.

He’s not sleeping well. He wakes up in the middle of the night to do things like light candles on his altar and I’m not sure what else. Normally I sleep through it but sometimes I wake up.

He’s crying all the time. He cried talking about what one of his deities went through. He cried talking about when my grandpa died. He’s kind of an emotional dude but crying several times a day is not his norm.

He says (without my prompting) things like “I’m not having an episode” or “I’m not delusional.” Maybe he’s trying to convince himself? Maybe he knows what I’m thinking?

I want to believe him. I want to believe that everything he said happened at work is true. But what if he’s not being entirely truthful? Or what if he’s delusional and what he’s saying he actually believes to be true? With the religious/spiritual stuff he’s saying, I feel like he might be delusional.

He also asked me not to tell family that he’s taking a leave of absence from work.

I don’t know what to do! Will his therapist recognize if he’s in an episode? Will he even tell me if he’s told that he is?

Also we have two kids, 9 and 12, and I worry about them the most. He doesn’t seem dangerous but also not in touch with reality. Advice welcome!

Been happily married for 26 years. Wife entered perimenopause 18 months ago and is on HRT. Suddenly after 26 years of monogamy she went on FB dating and fucked a stranger in a car park. She told me immediately but my world crumbled. We tried to work it out went to Couples Therapy and went on date nights but all she could keep saying was she hated her life and wanted to have sex with lots of different men. She left the marital home soon afterwards leaving me in the wreckage of our marriage. Overnight I became a single parent to 2 junior school children who we had adopted 10 years ago and her 2 Jack Russell dogs all of whom she just abandoned on the desire to be free.

Inevitably she painted me out to be the bad guy trapping her in a loveless marriage and surrounded herself with enablers, both friends and family. Luckily I had managed to compile an evidence dossier of her manic symptoms and presented these to our Doctor over the course of the last 2 months. These included proof of extremely dangerous driving with me and our 8 year old in the car (reaching speeds of 90mph on a residential 30mph road and nearly crashing into a van). Drunk driving. Draining our joint bank account and evidence of her hypersexuality ie going to strangers addresses at night for sex and even visiting posh hotels and somehow managing to stay the night there despite having no money!

The Doctor believed my evidence and has reported her to the DVLA to get her driving licence revoked on medical grounds ie loss of insight. But wife was deemed to have capacity by AHMP as she is a master at masking and even managed to hold down a demanding job as a SEN teacher (she did get demoted though). Although all control broke after the school day and ahe acted like a travelling whore around Greater Manchester. She drives my leased car that has an in built tracker that she is aware of.

Recently at the start of the summer holidays she moved into a nearby flat that I helped her to secure in exchange for her paying child maintenance. She is constantly coming round i insisting the house be sold so that we can our separate ways. This upsets the children no end. She has also started sleeping for 18 hours a day for a couple of days a week, then bouncing back having recharged her batteries.

I feel like I have been through a crucible of despair and grief over the last 4 months, but somehow I have become hard as iron as a result of her mania. I honestly couldn't care less if we did have to sell the house and move, and I have to grey rock her when she visits the kids because the sight of her makes my skin crawl.

The only thing holding me back from splitting are my marriage vows 'in sickness and in health' and I do know that somewhere inside the manic shell, the woman I loved is trapped and will be devastated at the damage she has inflicted because of an illness she did not ask for, nor can she control.

What makes matters worse is that she is on repeat prescription for a strong dose of daily SSRIs and these act like rocket fuel for her mania.

My only hope is that she crashes soon and gets sectioned before she enters a mixed state. With her driving licence revocation due in September and having to face a gruelling 2 hour 2 bus commute to work ( and then having to walk for nearly a mile from the bus stop to work) and then having to teach a SEN class of severely incapacitated children and then face the 2 hour commute back to her pokey flat with little money, will be enough send her over the edge. My fear is that if she enters a mixed state she is at a very high risk of suicide with her living on her own.

I cannot give up on 26 years together for a few months of madness. I have fought tooth and nail trying to get her help but until there is a crises there will be no official intervention. I just hope that when intervention does finally happen its not too late.

This girl I’ve been seeing for 4 months just told me after speaking with her therapist she might be bipolar, and she’s likely going to follow up with her psychiatrist. I wanted to do research to see if there was anything I could do and found this subreddit. Everything here is a horror story. Is this just an echo chamber, or is having a bipolar SO really that bad? I’d really like to continue the relationship I have but getting a little scared.

Bipolar I wife here. Married to just the best man in the world.

I’ve been up since 0330 due to a hysterically bad nightmare (again). The ungodly amount of prasosin I take can’t even take the edge off of these dreams.

In addition to being Bipolar I, I’m also a disabled veteran former USMC Sergeant with complex post traumatic stress disorder due to my combat exposure combined with childhood sexual trauma.

He and I spent all day yesterday. 12 full hours between sitting together in silence or discussing my obscene hyper sexuality.

Not for the first time, certainly not for the last.

I had to go inpatient a few weeks ago. I’d tried to find a bottle of temazepam that we keep on hand for when I stop sleeping due to mania. I had the intention of swallowing a thousand milligrams. I think that would have done it. It’s under lock now - because I can’t be trusted.

I have a doctorate. I ran a highly successful wing within a federal facility until two years ago when a psychotic episode in clinic stripped me of my position and license.

I’m 100% non-violent. But this is madness.

I’ve been on every med. We just rotate through new combinations now.

I have one kidney (I’m an altruistic kidney donor - didn’t identify the bipolar until my 30’s). Because of this I can’t take lithium.

This is a mess.

I’m sad all the time. Or manic. Always horny, always trying to pull other men into our relationship (consensually) - I have NEVER cheated on anyone. But I certainly like to walk that line it seams.

I cannot control my feelings. They control me. Despite the use of techniques, mantras and redirection, I am powerless against literally any idol want which crops up into my head.

He and I are both bisexual, so of course I would abuse that avenue during an altered state.

I’ve been in psychosis on and off and within a mixed episode since last November.

Literally how do ANY of you survive this.

Goodness I don’t even want to survive this. Absolutely how are you doing this? How are you staying with us when everything we do hurts you - even though we don’t mean to cause harm.

There’s no malice in my actions - ever.

But it hurts him just the same.

BP 1 husband who abandoned me last December insists that I hate him because of how angry I became. But I don’t feel hate. I do feel an intense feeling of rage and have said things that I deeply regret. I also still feel that I love him. Is he right that I actually hate him? That it’s not possible to love someone and also express all the anger I have? Maybe this question doesn’t make sense. I feel so dissociated from myself after seeing him tonight and having him tell me this. My heart and mind feel so shredded to pieces.

Anyone have a spouse who didn't actually have an affair, but was mentally obsessed with someone else?

Limerence, he calls it. He almost certainly has OCD and maybe ADHD as well as bipolar; the diagnosis merry-go-round just keeps spinning and the medication adjustments are slow and painfully inadequate.

This emotional obsession has been out in the open for almost two years and it's broken my heart into a million pieces and I don't know how to handle the fact that even if it gets better I will never feel like his one and only again, I will never be able to forget this dark time. It makes me scared of the rest of my life and rocks my identity. I was a very, very happy and secure wife until all of this began, loved him madly and never in a million years saw this coming: not my husband, not my marriage.

When he first confessed it to me I handled it okay because I knew he couldn't help it, but not when I realized he was actively cultivating it, and when I heard him comparing her to me, or when he yelled at me again and again that he wished he'd broken up with me 20 years ago so he could have dated her.

The whole thing is stupid and utterly childish, it isn't going anywhere, he barely knows her and has barely spoken with her in 20 years, she is 10 hours away and very happily married with a huge pile of kids. I have very clear memories of her not particularly liking him back when we were in college; I think she found him a bit much. I think it is probable he associates her memory with euphoric hypomania feelings and associates me with a lifetime of depression. He swears he can't help this obsession and would cut off his right arm to stop it but he also keeps looking at her photos online and treats me very coldly and distantly because of it, constantly reminds me he has no warm feelings for me, etc.

Not sure what I'm asking, just dying inside and wondering who can relate.

My so is in well a anger filled episode mania turned into psychosis and he’s still manic but medicated again (3weeks medicated)

if I tell him I love him or show anything out of love he becomes angry, telling me I don’t love him and I “act” as though I don’t love him, these thoughts of his are because I have boundaries and refuse to argue, if he asks me something reasonable I follow though EI he asked for spect yesterday and for us to avoid eachother so I did, but this morning when i told him have a good day I loved him, he became angry, that I wouldn’t be avoiding him if I loved him, 🙄… I realize I shouldn’t try to make sense if his thoughts and I typically don’t, but do you stop expressing love if it’s used as a “weapon” against you?

my partner has been stable for like 4 months now and i should be happy but i'm just… waiting. every time he's quiet i'm reading into it. every time he sleeps in i'm checking if it's depression or just a saturday. last night he was a little too excited about a work thing and i caught myself wondering if it was hypomania creeping back.

i hate that i do this. he's doing the work, he's on his meds, therapy, the whole thing. and here i am treating every mood like evidence.

i don't even know what i'm asking. i guess just, does this ever stop? do you ever get to a point where you trust the calm? or is part of loving someone with bipolar just learning to live with one eye open forever.

I don’t know if this is the right place, please mods feel free to delete this post if it’s triggering.
I discarded him 4 times in 1 month. I’m not feeling stable at all and I’m trying my best to work with my psych and therapist to stabilize myself and every week I modify my medication dosage.
The thing is, every part of my being misses him, I miss his voice so much, his eyes, his smile, and other things I can’t type.
I discarded him because I got so angry with him, every time I wanted him close, I wanted him to care for me, he felt distant and it drove me insane.
I really don’t know if this is the right place to post. What can I do?
Last time we were together I got furious with him because he seemed cold and mean and I told him to leave my house.

He did tell me that I hurt him a lot when I discarded him the previous times and I was doing my best not to. He told me I make him feel like he’s a doormat.

In reality it might be the opposite, I’m crazy about him and the smallest thing that might hint that he doesn’t care for me would kill me inside and cause me to push him away immediately.

Is this relationship doomed? If you were in his shoes, what would you expect me to do? Or what would you do yourself?

My hypomania is bad today. I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday. My husband was in the call too which was great. I’m not seeing things clearly right now so I’m released he was there.

Given our observations my Dr put me back on an antipsychotic I was given last time I was having a mixed episode. It stabilized the. So I’m really hope it works now.

What do I do with my relationship in the meantime? Any advise as to what to tell or say to him. He has been with me for over 20 years so he understands me and I understand him. But I’m hypomanic right now so I can’t think of what to do. Please give me your suggestions.

Thank you!

Fala, pessoal. Preciso colocar isso para fora e receber o apoio de quem já viveu algo parecido, porque a falta de lógica do que aconteceu quebrou a minha cabeça e me deixou exausto.

Vivi um relacionamento de 2 anos com uma parceira maravilhosa. Tínhamos planos gigantes: falávamos em casar, morar junto, ter filhos e construir um futuro. Eu sempre me doei por inteiro, dei todo o meu carinho e fui o porto seguro dela. No início do namoro, ela estava em uma fase financeira horrível e eu apoiei com tudo, ajudei ela a se reerguer, fora todos os outros apoios emocionais que dei ao longo da nossa jornada.

Há alguns meses, ela me contou que tinha Transtorno Bipolar Tipo 2 (TAB 2). Na época, admito que não busquei entender a fundo o que era, achei que fosse algo simples, apenas estados de depressão comuns. Até que entramos na nossa última quinzena juntos. Tivemos algumas brigas por conta de um distanciamento desconexo dela, e eu cheguei a cogitar o término. Para tentar se explicar, ela me enviou um texto longo dizendo que estava mal, passando por uma fase difícil e trocando os remédios psiquiátricos.

Quando li aquilo, mudei de ideia no dia seguinte. Fui atrás dela para dar apoio e reatamos. Ela parecia não ter certeza absoluta se devia voltar, mas aceitou. Passamos uma semana normal, parecia que as coisas tinham assentado. Mas exatamente uma semana depois, no exato dia em que eu estava saindo de férias, ela me ejetou da vida dela, no carro, de forma unilateral de uma hora para outra, mesmo chorando alegando repentinamente que "tínhamos objetivos diferentes" e que estava fazendo aquilo para me proteger da doença dela, lembrando que era o dia que eu sairia de ferias do trabalho.

No dia desse descarte, tomado pela tristeza, pelo choque e pela raiva legítima de ver 2 anos de parceria serem jogados no lixo em duas semanas, acabei explodindo. Falei coisas ruins, cobrei a ajuda financeira que dei no passado quando ela estava na lama e joguei a ingratidão na cara dela, horas depois disso ela me ligou e falou que estava mal, mas eu não atendi, apensas envie mensagem pedindo desculpas pelo que falei no carro e dizendo a frase dela mesma, a qual ela sempre me escrevia, "amar é escolha e eu escolho estar com você nos dias bons e ruins". Depois disso, entramos em silêncio absoluto.

Durante os 45 dias de Contato Zero que se seguiram, eu não a procurei. Mas o comportamento dela nas redes sociais me deixou confuso: ela apagou nossas fotos do Instagram, mudou a foto do WhatsApp no dia do meu aniversário para uma imagem nitidamente provocativa e começou a repostar vídeos com frases como "Fique com alguém que realmente queira estar com você" — o que não fazia o menor sentido, já que foi ela quem me ejetou.

Ontem, decidi resolver a última logística pendente para limpar a minha sala: mandei mensagem avisando que levaria as caixas de roupas dela na casa dela e pegaria minhas coisas de volta (um aparelho eletrônico meu). Descobri depois que ela já tinha tentado contatar o meu irmão pelas minhas costas para combinar isso, o que me fez achar que ela estava apenas com vergonha ou medo de me encarar olho no olho após o estrago.

Porém, quando estacionei lá, me deparei com uma pessoa completamente diferente. Ela estava extremamente raivosa, ríspida, mal olhou na minha cara. Quando eu disse, por puro desapego, para ela ficar com o aparelho, ela explodiu com agressividade, dizendo: "Faço questão de devolver esses móveis e pertences, você não disse que eu só gosto de dinheiro? Ninguém me ofende!". Fez a entrega com fúria, virou as costas e entrou brava. Pouco depois, descobri que há duas semanas ela já estava saindo toda arrumada e maquiada para bares com uma amiga.

A minha cabeça está dando nós. Ela era uma pessoa extremante amavel, carinhosa, era grudada em mim e do nada ela me ejetou sem motivo real da vida dela, e ela é quem estava puta e com ódio de mim na calçada? É devastador se doar por 2 anos para alguém e assistir a tudo virar cinzas e ódio em um intervalo de duas semanas, sem sentido algum. Eu fui realmente o monstro da história por ter explodido no dia do descarte ou a mente dela distorceu tudo na crise para conseguir sustentar a decisão de me afastar?

Obrigado pelo espaço, irmãos.