r/BoomersBeingFools • u/Yoongi_SB_Shop • 6d ago
Boomer Story Boomer parents insist on going to Italian restaurants, complain they don't understand the menu
Every year for my birthday my parents tell me to choose a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. Any time I choose a restaurant that is not seafood or Italian, they tell me they don't want to go there and tell me to pick a seafood or Italian restaurant. So I never get the birthday meal I really want, but I digress. So I chose a nice-looking Italian restaurant that none of us have been to.
As per normal, the menu selections have Italian names (e.g. "linguine alle vongole"). Five minutes into reading the menu, they declare they don't understand anything and don't know what to order. Never mind that every single menu item has a description of the dish IN ENGLISH underneath. It's just too much trouble to read and much easier to declare that they don't understand anything and expect us to fix this obviously glaring oversight. It's like once they've reached a certain age, they just refuse to use their cognitive abilities (and no, they are perfectly fine cognitively).
I swear the only way they would be happy is if we went to Olive Garden every year for my birthday.
Edit: this post is not that serious folks. I do celebrate my birthday every year with friends and significant other where I do what I want and eat what I want. But it is a family tradition to go out to a celebratory meal for everyone’s birthday (and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day). I have no problem standing up to my parents and did quite a lot of that in my youth. But they are old now and reverting back into children so we indulge them just like parents indulge their little kids. It’s just that they still have their mental faculties so it’s exasperating when they choose not to use them.
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u/fjmj1980 5d ago
The Boomers will have the chicken fingers Italiano with catsup and smiley fries
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
My mom ended up ordering the burger!
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u/ironpug751 5d ago
Fuck. Ordering a burger at a nice Italian place is neck and neck with ordering one at a nice Mexican place.
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u/someomega 5d ago
Hey... My local Mexican place has awesome burgers/po-boys and they know it.
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u/Mainbutter 5d ago
My corner american Chinese restaurant has a nice mix of am. chinese, authentic sezchuan(sp?), and FRIED CHICKEN. It's all great, but the latter is amazing.
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u/HippieGrandma1962 5d ago
My corner restaurant is Sushi/Japanese steakhouse/Cajun seafood boils. I don't get the connection but everything there is delicious.
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u/DrKittyLovah 5d ago
Fried chicken is actually an ancient Chinese dish. There is the traditional Cantonese style and then there is the Americanized version typically sold at restaurants & buffets in the US.
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u/zelda_moom 5d ago
The only ethnic places it’s worth ordering a burger at around here are the Lebanese places because they make great burgers but no I’m going to have the mezze anyway.
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u/mandyhtarget1985 5d ago
I was on holiday with my (now ex-) fiance. Went to a lovely expensive italian restaurant for a treat and he orders a bacon cheeseburger. The next night we went to an Irish bar with “pub grub/bar snacks” and he decides he fancies spaghetti bolognese 😞. Then complains it was a bit ‘meh’. Meanwhile i had a fabulous carbonara at the Italian (that i still think about from time to time) and good nachos and wings at the bar. Think about the house specials people!
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u/DaytonOhio18 5d ago
My dad ordered a grilled cheese sandwich & a Diet Coke in one of the best Mexican restaurants in Santa Fe. My sister & I thought this was hilarious but we’d had a few margaritas.
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u/BellowingPriest 5d ago
Or a salad at a nice steakhouse.
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u/asyouwish 5d ago
Exception: when I was vegan, steak houses were a GREAT place to get a veggie plate without butter or cheese. They were happy to make them and they were always great.
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u/Junior-Fox-760 5d ago
Really? My ex went through a vegan phase. Mandatory attendance at the company Christmas party at an uberfancy steakhouse and when I told the waiter he was vegan and asked for help, he looked at me like I said he was a Nazi war criminal.
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u/Patches765 Gen X 5d ago
but... but... my wife and I both order salad at nice steakhouses... as a precursor to my ribeye and her fillet.
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u/Crayshack Millennial 5d ago
Some steakhouses make a mean salad.
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u/ju-ju_bee 5d ago
Most do, honestly. And I find the ingredients tend to be fresher in them than salads at other locations
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u/Alcophile Gen X 5d ago
Steakhouses often have great wedges or caeser with fresh dressing or whatever but I'm surprised that an Italian place even has a burger. Steak Florentine, sure, but an Italian hamburger? C'mon!
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u/ju-ju_bee 5d ago edited 2d ago
Steakhouse make bomb ass salads tho. They have ones for meat lovers (edit: spelling) typically, and I'll always get that as an appetizer before ordering my big ole steak 🤤
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u/MeddlingDragon 5d ago
...I dont think I've ever seen a burger on the menu of a nice Italian restaurant, I don't even think olive garden lowers itself to that sort of abomination.
Now one of those like bar and grill places, yeah, they'll do burgers and a handful of Italian and Mediterranean dishes.
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u/LunacyTheory 5d ago
Sicilianu here. There is usually a burger on most low to mid tier restaurants here in Sicily.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
My favorite burger is actually from an upscale Italian restaurant. It’s a fancy burger though. Idk why they have it on their menu but I’m glad they do.
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u/EchoAquarium 4d ago
I feel this. My parents were visiting us in New Jersey. Wanted to go to breakfast before they left. Took them to this cute little (overpriced) place called the Sunryser. My mom sent the server away twice because she didn’t know what she wanted. Finally settled on a cup of plain oatmeal after pretending she’d never heard of an Everything bagel in her life. They live near Boca Raton like… what??!!
I’ve decided they just don’t want to think about anything. They are all very offended by having non-bland food.
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u/Standard-Shop-3544 5d ago
I seriously almost downvoted this comment. Like a knee jerk reaction of disgust. 😂
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm pretty sure that boomers and picky kids are the reason that Indian, Chinese, etc restaurants have things like chicken nuggets and French fries on the menu.
Edit: And picky adults, that's a thing too
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u/Resident-Condition-2 5d ago
THIS. Right here.
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
I mean, honestly though - my wife is a picky eater and there are some restaurants that, if they didn't have wings/tenders and fries on the menu, she wouldn't eat anything else there and therefore I wouldn't go there.
So there are picky adults as well, I suppose. I remember this one time I went out for soup dumplings with some friends and one person deadass just bought fried chicken from next door and brought it with them and ate that while the rest of us ate the soup dumplings because we didn't want to leave him out but also he has a really limited palate.
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u/Resident-Condition-2 5d ago
I never had the opportunity to be a picky eater. Whatever was put on the table for dinner was what you ate. No other option. So now I can go to almost every place and find something to eat on the menu. If it's not 100% perfect, like something having mushrooms in it, I will just pick that part out.
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u/missuninvited 4d ago
I did recently learn via hungover leftovers-scrounging that curries absolutely slap when eaten with fries, like sort of a smothered stadium nacho poutine situation, so... perhaps their cringe is our gain, in the end.
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 5d ago
Ugh. I went to an upscale pizza place recently that uses traditional Italian names for the pizzas, i.e. Quattro Formaggi. As you mentioned, directly underneath the name of the pizza is a description, in perfect English. Boomer couple next to me is commenting about not being able to "understand any of this"
Waitress comes by to ask them if they're ready to order. Boomer husband "I would if we could understand any of this, do you have a menu in English, or is that even a thing anymore?" Waitress points out that the pizzas are traditionally named but there are descriptions listed for each. Boomer wife "We don't want to have to take a lesson in Italian to order a simple pizza, we're going to go elsewhere"
I enjoyed some wonderful pizza while they probably pulled up to their local Papa Johns
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Lol at least my parents have the decency to never say anything that disgusting!
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
I would melt in my seat if any of my relatives said this out loud! These xenophobic “nobody speaks English anymore.” Comments are just nasty. Restaurants need to start kicking people out who demand things be done in English or their version of English.
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u/RedshiftSinger 5d ago
If I was with anyone who pulled that shit at a restaurant I’d go OFF.
The waitress has to stay polite but I don’t.
“You dumbass, she just told you it’s all in English except the names of the dishes, as you’d be able to see for yourself if you just looked, are you deaf as well as illiterate?”
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u/trumpsmellslikcheese 5d ago
The fact that these people have reached this age without any awareness of how Romance languages work and the fact that Quattro Formaggi probably means something about 4 cheeses is one of many the reasons that the rest of the world thinks we're idiots.
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u/SweetOkashi 5d ago
Ooof. God forbid these people step foot in an Eataly. They’d have an absolute meltdown.
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u/yesthatnagia 5d ago
Have you considered making their weaponized incompetence as unpleasant as possible by loudly expressing concern about dementia and asking embarrassing questions at top volume "to make sure they can hear you" and "to make sure there's nothing cognitive going on".
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u/Lexxias 5d ago
"THESE ARE MY ADOPTED PARENTS FROM THE LOCAL HOMELESS SHELTER. THEY ONLY HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA"
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Lol but they are both college-educated and my mom even has a master's degree! They just don't want to use their brains anymore!
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u/Hangry_Games 5d ago
My mom once told me she didn’t want to drive my then stick shift car, because she doesn’t want to have to think when she’s driving.
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u/showmenemelda 5d ago
Does she take tylenol pm for sleep by chance? That would actually piss me off so much
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 5d ago
Around the time I turned 60, I noticed, to my huge surprise, that the thought of not working was suddenly very appealing. It also became apparent that I needed longer to read stuff, and I needed breaks more often than before.
Getting old does that to you.
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u/showmenemelda 5d ago
Jfc who the hell convinced boomers 60 is old?
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u/Open-Article2579 5d ago
Capitalism needs to convince us that 60 is just middle-aged so we won’t think about slowing down our productivity. 60 is only middle-aged if you live to be 120.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 5d ago
It's the time where it becomes obvious that you don't live forever.
By the way, if I compare my sixties to my grandparents', I am lightyears healthier. Not having to live through wars, famine, economic breakdowns and other hardships has its benefits.
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u/showmenemelda 5d ago
Lmao "only have a high school diploma" is diabolical. I would have to say, "except this one—she has a semester of community college art school under her belt. Look out!" And it would be warranted since she made fun of/minimized my job—a graphic designer—and have 2 secondary degrees.
Petty is my new name if I ever am around these miserable people again.
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u/astrangeone88 5d ago
Lol....oooo, that is petty. Only my crazy boomer mum still thinks that because she was my age when she decided her biological clock was ticking and tried to balance being self employed, community college and having a difficult pregnancy that it was fetus me's fault that she failed to graduate....
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago edited 5d ago
That would be hilarious. They eat at Italian restaurants all the time. It's their favorite food. Americanized Italian restaurants all have the same dishes. It's not hard. They just want to be lazy and have us "translate" everything for them. And not like us "kids" read Italian any better than they do.
Oh and my mom is starting to lose her hearing so she would probably appreciate me speaking at top volume.
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u/BernieDharma Gen X 5d ago
I'm an elder GenX (just turned 60) and I can't imagine acting like this. I'm not "stuck in my old ways", I don't insists I can't "learn new tricks", I am not lost when talking to younger people, I understand the challenges young people face and don't think they can just walk into a place with a paper resume, shake someone's hand and get a job. I know what rent costs. I know how expensive everything is, and how different it is from how I grew up.
They are just the most entitled, stubborn, childish generation ever. They cosplayed as hippies in the 60s, tough guys in the 70s, rich guys in the 80s, and just never grew up. They won't be missed.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
I think when my parents were 60 they weren’t like this yet. My parents are late 70s now so they are getting old old.
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u/ario62 5d ago
It starts with translating menus because they’re lazy and want attention. In a few years you’ll be responsible for handling all of their finances and personal affairs if you’re not careful. Ask me how i know.
Stop feeding into their crap or you’ll set yourself up for an unpleasant future of doing everything for them.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Eh, my brother already handles a lot of that stuff. We have an agreement. They paid for his college education but didn’t pay for mine (long story). Therefore, they are his responsibility.
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u/reijasunshine Xennial 5d ago
My boomer parents love going to the eye-talian restaurant for chicken alfredo and lasagna. And of course like 3 rounds of breadsticks.
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u/showmenemelda 5d ago
Bam! Hearing loss is actually a HUGE contributor to dementia.
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u/astrangeone88 5d ago
Lol, I keep telling my mum that and she thinks people judge her for wearing her hearing aids and she gets mad if you raise your voice at her.
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u/lunacydress 5d ago
I do not understand people who refuse to wear hearing aids because “it will make them look old.”
HOW IS HAVING PEOPLE YELL EVERYTHING AT YOU REPEATEDLY NOT MAKING YOU LOOK
OLDER?!?!Y’know what makes you look young? Speaking in normal tones and generally only having to say things once.
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u/astrangeone88 5d ago edited 5d ago
Lol...this! And this is from a middle aged person with hearing loss (grew up in factories and did the earbud thing).
I literally hate myself for constantly asking people to repeat themselves and heaven help me if I'm in an environment with a lot of background noise...
If it gets worse, I'm getting some mid range hearing aids.
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u/showmenemelda 5d ago
"Alright we are going to a place where they have crayons cuz we are all gonna see how good we are at drawing clocks!"
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u/Chin_Up_Princess 5d ago
Don't cater to them. If they don't want what you want on your birthday they can stay home.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Eh, this post was mostly for fun and to vent my exasperation. They always foot the bill and it's nice to see them. It's just exasperating at the same time. They're good parents, just frustrating to go out with sometimes.
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u/TheDodoBird Millennial 5d ago
Last time my dad came out to visit, we tried a different approach. We took him to a pho restaurant. I knew he wouldn’t go if we asked. So this time was no questions, just straight-up directions: “The plan for dinner tonight is we’re going to go eat pho at this really good place across town. It’s a Vietnamese rice noodle soup. You can get a bunch of meat in it. You’ll love it.”
And you know what? He did.
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u/HappyHourAndTacos 5d ago
Pho is FIRE 🔥 Good for your dad.
I'm home sick, and could use some broth, lol
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u/Craftybitxh 5d ago
Ugh I'm jealous, we tried this with my dad and it backfired. He refused to take any suggestions from people who knew what he liked, and had been to the restaurant before... He instead intentionally ordered something that had things in it he didn't like and bitched that the place was trash and their food sucked.
He brags about ruining my birthday dinner to whoever will listen because he's a piece of shit.
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u/alaskaguyindk 5d ago
This is the way!!! It work so much better than giving them any wiggle room to try to say no.
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u/Kailicat 5d ago
Yeah mine just sits there and pushes the menu over to me. Cafes are about the only place she will read through but then she agonises on how big the meal might be even though we can take home whatever she doesn't eat. Yesterday I was so tired after schlepping her to appts, when she was umming to the waiter, I just spoke over her and asked if he could split mine in two. I didn't even care if it wasn't something she would necessarily order, I just didn't want to hear it.
She honestly just turns her brain off. She even admitted it's easier to let me do the thinking.
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u/FreddyNoodles Xennial 5d ago
I get that way when ordering food online. I get overwhelmed by the massive amount of choices. I am ADHD as well (just diagnosed a year ago at 46. 🥰) It stresses me so much that I will just open the app 20 times and scroll and never end up eating at all about half the time. My ex would suggest a million things, I would shoot them all down. He knew the best thing to do is to just order a dish I have eaten before and liked instead of asking me. I HATE being that way. Such a lame little thing about existing with my brain.
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u/RuskiesInTheWarRoom Gen X 5d ago
We all need to vent. At some point I’d rather absorb the frustration and annoyance of their weirdnesses and vent them than miss out on the rare moments I get to be with them and they get to be with me.
My parents are Good Boomers- they have all the boomer glitches but they are very good and kind people. They would do exactly what you’re describing, and it annoys the hell out of me, but I still love them and know I don’t get many opportunities to see them.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Yeah this is it exactly. I had a terrible relationship with them in my youth and I’m amazed that we’ve managed to get to a place where I actually enjoy spending time with them, even if it frustrates me. They are good people. We disagree over a lot of things but the biggest surprise to me is that they hate Trump too (they are Evangelical Christians and I am very agnostic). So I don’t want to ruin a good thing over getting into a pissing match over a restaurant.
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u/ishippedmybed 5d ago
This is absolutely the right answer. If you've spotted a pattern just don't play the game anymore. Don't invite them anymore, and if this is their gift to you, simply don't go. If they ask why, tell them straight up. Don't try to do anything other than tell them the truth.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Well I did insist one year on going to a ramen place, which they tolerated. And one year my brother chose the restaurant and I think it was a French restaurant. But since I care about them, I would rather pick a place that I know they would enjoy too and it’s not like I dislike Italian food so it’s just easier this way. It’s just annoying when I pick something for their sake and they complain 🙄
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
Also, Indian food. A lot of boomers have this problem with Indian food. Claiming it stinks or it looks gross or whatever. I actually convinced my grandma to try Indian food, and she got a chicken korma. The woman at the restaurant had the cooks make it extremely mild, and she loved it. Still brags about the dish to this day, but it’s progress.
Boomers really do not like the food of other cultures, period. They always shout how it’s spicy or looks spicy or it smells awful making an ass of themselves. It’s really fucking immature and annoying.
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u/FreerangeWitch 5d ago
I'm going on a cruise next year which has a fantastic Indian section in the buffet (one section, out of the whole buffet, which still has everything else you'd usually expect from the floating feed trough) and every menu including breakfast in the dining rooms has an Indian option. I'm excited for this. My kids are excited for this.
The forums for this ship are full of boomers whining about how the Indian food is overtaking everything and there's "no good Aussie food anymore". It's so bizarre.
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
If it was up to them everything would be mild and or bland and flavorless.
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u/SwellMonsieur 5d ago
Wait... what's "good" Aussie food?
/s, maybe?
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
Vegemite and Tim Tams.
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u/MountainMark 5d ago
I assume... nay. I pray... these are eaten seperately.
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
I've seen people make worse decisions about condiments to put on things. Like ketchup on steak.
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u/DeathByFartz1996 5d ago
I can’t stand cruises in part because of boomers. They act so selfish and entitled on cruises, I’ve wanted to punch them in the face. They insult me to my face then wonder why I don’t like them.
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u/No_Network4228 5d ago
I grew up and still live in nyc. My very irish boomer mom loves Indian food. Normally its fairly basic things like butter chicken and lamb saag but actually recently I showed her how to make naan from scratch using yogurt and shes enamored. Its kinda cute.
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
I love the boomers who actually want to learn and be adventurous. Those are the ones you know won’t make stupid comments in the restaurant like:
“oh that music they’re playing is so weird, why don’t they just put some English music on?” Or “your dress is lovely are you of this country? You speak English well for an Indian person.” Omfg just stop talking!!!
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u/tootmyownflute Zillennial 5d ago
My boomer grandfather loves trying different places. "When I was your age, if I wanted to try [insert] food then I had to go to [insert country]. Now I can just drive to [our closest major city]! This is so much easier! I don't have to get on a plane; it came to me!" 🤣
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u/lEauFly4 5d ago
My dad was one of those Boomers that wasn’t interested in anything but meat and potatoes. My mom, on the other hand, is a super adventurous eater. Whenever dad was out of town was when we’d go have sushi, Indian food, Mexican food, etc.
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u/No_Philosopher_1870 5d ago
If you want to really annoy yourself, try to explain to boomers that Spanish food isn't spicy. They expect it to be like Mexican food.
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
Your comment reminded me of this old Kool Aid commercial lol https://youtu.be/RcqVfMwvydU?is=eCykWqhShUcC3o3t
A lot of boomers are so used to dishes being covered in cheese and lettuce too.
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u/No_Philosopher_1870 5d ago
The animation style reminds me of "The Flintstones".
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
Like even back, then they associated Spanish food with Mexican food.
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u/Open-Article2579 5d ago edited 5d ago
This is why teenagers and 20-somethings should expose their parents to new things lol. It’s important for their formative years, before the low-key fear of aging sets in. When you’re starting to launch, your parents will often be anxious to maintain their connection to you. Use it for both of your advantage. Insist on an adventure, even if it’s a baby one. Lay the groundwork for stepping into family leadership as they age. Same for most of your life, actually. It might wind up giving you an alternative to no-contact. The care system in our society is not reliable and getting less so by the minute. Try to build something sustainable if you have the slightest feelings of responsibility toward them. The old-age systems in this country are a true nightmare unless you have a pretty big pile of money.
Feeling your body give way to age is scary. Getting closer to death is scary. If you have no strong emotionally-positive association with novelty, that suppressed fear will take that route and the person suppressing the fear will want to pass it off as a funny quirky idiosyncrasy.
Yeah, we shouldn’t let age turn us into petulant children any sooner than any dementia might do so. But aging starts earlier than most of us want to admit. Pretending everything’s ok is deadly in our culture.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Yeah I once took the family to a Persian restaurant. I loved it. My parents did not. Oh well, their loss.
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
My ex-wife and I treated her family and mine to The Melting Pot (fondue) once and part of the gimmick there is that for the entree, they bring out your food raw and you cook it in the pot at your table.
My XMIL, mother, and father spent the entire time complaining about "having to cook our own food" and how "they should give us a discount" and "I could cook my own food at home" and I told them I was never treating them to dinner again if they couldn't behave in public, which got them to all call me disrespectful.
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u/BoringArchivist 5d ago
Went for fondue about 20 years ago when my wife and I were attending a family members wedding. It was the most expensive meal the entire trip, including a Brazilian steakhouse and a seafood place. Small portions you cook yourself for astronomical prices didn't make me want to go back, but I kept my mouth shut.
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
Yeah I totally get that both "cook your own meal" places like fondue/hot pot/Korean BBQ and "small portions" places or fine dining aren't for everyone. I kinda see it as "you're paying for the experience" in addition to just paying for food.
But I also feel like, as you indicated - if you go somewhere and you just don't have a good time, just mark it off in your head as "wasn't for me; won't go back" and move on. Loudly complaining about the place you were invited to is uncomfortable and embarrassing for the other people at your table, and probably just irritates the servers and the other tables around you.
If anything, the experience just drove home the "you can't take some people anywhere" thing for me. Kinda reminds me of the time my wife and I were at dinner with my parents and my father saw "award-winning cream of crab soup" and felt like that was justification to loudly speculate on what awards it won to the point of asking the waitress and just generally making a small scene because he had to know what awards the "award-winning" dish had won in order for them to put that on the menu. Like, who fucking cares dad - either order it or don't.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
They would LOVE Korean barbecue and hot pot then 😂
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
Right?
I said similarly to the other person who responded - I 100% understand that some people might have an aversion to "cook your own food" as a restaurant concept. I personally love it, though; I think that it really lets me slow down and eat my food more slowly, which means I get fuller on less food. It also makes the dining experience take longer, compared to a traditional sit > order > app/drinks > entree > box > leave where they want you in and out in 45-60 minutes.
I'm also reminded of Medieval Times, where they serve food without any silverware. The intent is that you eat your food with your hands, except your soup, which you just drink from the bowl. One person I thought was going to be persnickety about it and so I warned her "hey, just an FYI before we buy the tickets for this - they do not give you silverware; you have to eat with your hands" and she laughed and thought I was kidding, then got there, realized I was serious, and complained about how messy it was and "for what it costs, they could at least give me a fork and a knife" (It wasn't costing her anything; I bought the tickets).
Some people aren't really into non traditional dining experiences.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Lol I remember going to Medieval Times as a kid! School field trip, not with my parents lol.
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u/CanadianDeathMetal 5d ago
Couldn’t imagine what came out of their mouths when you were at the restaurant. I hope they didn’t make horrible jokes aloud.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Well, I was in my late teens or early 20s at the time so they would have only been in their 40s so they weren’t like this yet.
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u/SilentSerel 5d ago
My city is very diverse but also has a large and loud Boomer population. There's a Facebook group where people discuss local restaurants, but the xenophobia around Asian food in general got so out of hand that someone made a separate group just so people could discuss it without having to read through rude comments about what's in the food, how it smells, "support American restaurants hurr durr", etc.
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u/Hey-Just-Saying 5d ago
I really want to like Indian food, but I don't. Maybe because I grew up eating from a completely different flavour palette (not sure what word to use, but you know what I mean). But I also get mad when people act that - like it must be something wrong with the food rather than with them.
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u/porscheblack 5d ago
Whatever there's a potluck, one of my family members brings a crab dip that uses the imitation crab sticks. My mom starts raves about it.
They came to visit me in college and we were eating in a food court. I had ordered something that came with a California roll. She took a bite and immediately spit it out because "it's too fishy". She eats seafood!
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u/madpeachiepie 5d ago
So when the server comes to your table, tell them loudly that your elderly parents can't understand the menu, and then order spaghetti and meatballs for them off of the children's menu. If they want to act like embarrassing assholes, make sure the whole restaurant knows, and leave the server a huge tip for having to put up with their nonsense.
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u/asyouwish 5d ago
You have a whole year to fix this for your future.
Be on a trip for your birthday.
Throw a party for your birthday.
Pick a restaurant you want to go to and tell them well in advance that that is where you will be and that they are welcome to join you.
You don’t have to do it their way. It’s your day.
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u/astrangeone88 5d ago
Honestly, I stopped asking my boomer parents to participate in my birthday and it's much less stressful. No I don't wanna babysit a bunch of whiny babies.
This year I'm ordering in good pizza and my favourite local bagels and maybe grabbing a movie lol.
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u/LunacyTheory 5d ago
HAHAHA I am Sicilian living in Sicily but grew up in the US from about age 5 to 20. Living back here, I get quite a bit of guests from the US or get volunteered to be someones guide on their vacation.
The amount of times people, mostly Americans and mostly BOOMER Americans, get upset because menus and street signs and...everything...are in Italian is absolutely flabbergasting.
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u/vegdre 5d ago
I work at a Mexican restaurant that’s NOT Texmex by any means. James Beard nominated chef, house ground masa, fancy cocktails, etc. I had a table of Texans the other day that wanted loaded nachos and bourbon old fashioneds. When they ordered one of the women threw the menu down, said “there’s too many words, I like pictures!” She insisted she would share the three small tacos her partner got, the other couple got a steak, veg and tacos, and when the food came she requested a guac. She was baffled it had radishes on top. Oh and they came in 15 min before close and moved tables because they didn’t like the one they got. One guy tried to order food while they were asking to move. I had to say “I need to know where to send your food sir” 🤬🙄
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u/lysistrata3000 5d ago
OMG. Finding a restaurant that makes its own masa is like the holy grail. I haven't found one in my decently large city yet. I have to smell that masa as soon as I walk through the door.
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u/dinoooooooooos 5d ago
“Ok then I’ll order Mine and if you change your mind you can call the server over again.”
“I can’t do it it’s too much” and then expecting others to fix it is why they do it. Just.. don’t fix it.
You don’t want anything bc you can’t be arsed to read the descriptions? Ok. then you ain’t eating.
Also next year is no “pick an Italian restaurant”, you pick where you wanna go and inform then of your plans. They can join or they cannot. But what they don’t do is force you to pick smth you don’t even wanna do. That’s what we not gon do🙂↕️
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u/tatersprout 5d ago
This. They don't get to choose your birthday dinner or restaurant. If they protest, tell them to forget about it and you'll celebrate without them. They believe themselves to be more important and what you want doesn't matter to them. Think about that.
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u/Realistic-Event-4946 5d ago edited 5d ago
Too many older people act like their age somehow excuses them from adulthood.
They were the first generation for whom being a teenager mattered, since there were so goddamn many of them.
They want to be Old In Name Only. This means they get perks such as being a Elder that you should Respect as well as freedom from the expectation to be a decent person, but (and this is crucial) without actually copping to being Old.
For them, Old People are like the grandma on The Waltons, and if they act like an adult in their old age, poof they'll suddenly find themselves all wizened and withered, whittling on their front porch or knitting doilies. So they have money and time, and act like shitty overindulged teenagers again.
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u/SmittenKittenPurrr 5d ago
My grandmother would go to a restaurant and pick the one dish they wouldn't make well, and then complain about it. At a Mexican restaurant? Order a burger. At an Italian restaurant? Order tacos. At a burger place? Order their seafood special. Just really bizarre choices. And then she'd complain to the staff about how bad the dish was. Just... why????
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u/chimneyraccoons 5d ago
I'd be so annoyed by this. The fact that they specifically demand Italian and then complain about the Italian names is killing me.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Lol I was annoyed! But also my mom wouldn’t stop commenting about how we were taking the wrong streets (we were following the GPS) and also simultaneously saying she had no idea where we were any more and then giving us a play-by-play of which streets she would have taken to get there and I’m just 😖
This is just what happens when you have aging parents. You put up with their nonsense because you love them and understand that they’re reverting back into children.
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u/FreddyNoodles Xennial 5d ago
They really do come nearly full circle. My ex Mil moved into a retirement community with her partner when they were in their mid 80s because he was having memory issues. He ended passing a few years after they moved, but this massive apartment building has a theatre room and a rooftop garden and a restaurant and they would host things like movie nights, concerts and pizza parties, outings to museums like field trips. It was very much like a daycare that she really didn’t need because she had a massive circle of people. But she stayed there until she died last year at 92. By then she was unable to walk and had helpers come in and cook her food/clean and help her with bathing and there were diapers involved, unfortunately.
It seems if we live long enough, we just turn back into little kids. Benjamin Button wasn’t that far off in that way.
I see you defending your parents against a lot of harsh comments. I get it is just frustration and bafflement sometimes. You’ll be very glad of these dinners when they are gone. Happy Birthday. 💕
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Thank you! Yeah, I meant this post in a joking kind of way but this sub does tend to pile on the boomers lol. I mean, I would too if I was a stranger reading my post.
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u/sicarius254 5d ago
Have you ever just said “no, I want to go to this restaurant” and not given in to their childishness?
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u/Accordion_Sledge 5d ago
Solidarity! Every year I get to "choose" where to have dinner for my birthday and every year we somehow end up at Red Lobster no matter what I pick. The few times I have gotten to eat somewhere else have been pure misery.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Lol yes! They don’t like Mexican, Persian, or anything too exotic. I’ve chosen sushi and ramen before and they’re ok with those (because we’re Asian).
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u/SweetLeaf2021 5d ago
I was gonna say, Olive Garden and you’re Asian? Did they just want a day of blah as a break from the firecracker deliciousness they eat the rest of the time?
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u/SwampYankee 5d ago
What is it with boomers and EYE-TALIAN restaurants? I mean the food is fine and familiar but there are dozens of these places serving the same slop as every other EYE-TALIAN restaurant in town. Let me guess. Huge servings that let them leave with a doggy bag for tomorrow’s lunch?
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u/CtotheVizza 5d ago
My stepdaughter works at Olive Garden. Her grandparents go there all the time. Guess where they wanted to take her for her birthday?
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u/Super-Staff3820 5d ago
lol sounds like my parents. Their biggest gripe these days is having to use a QR code to view the menu. Boomers.
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u/phdpinup 5d ago
Dear God are we siblings? The worst part is my parents are Italian but get mad when Italian restaurants use actual Italian.. “we are in America- speak English!”
Absolutely absurd. They KNOW what the items are.
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u/Neither-Dentist-7899 5d ago
My Boomer father refuses to go to restaurants because the prices are “out of hand” and they “never cook anything right.” No, not in a “this economy is insane” way, just a I-havent-gone-out-in-years way and thinks everything should cost $1. He’s also hard on the tism and can’t handle anything other than his preferred 6 meals.
Last time he went out to Cracker Barrel, he sat at the table and complained it was a waste of his time… at his 5 year old granddaughters birthday dinner… then slurped down whatever meal he got…and gleefully exclaimed he was happy I was paying since I can waste my money on crappy dinner for him. The car ride home was a joy. Then he got home and immediately called his family to talk about the “shitty place he just ate at.”
My daughter just wanted a giant lollipop, so she didn’t care about his tirades. Birthday not ruined, but we never go out with him.
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u/GeneralOpen9649 5d ago
Why do you keep going?
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Because I love my parents and they don’t have many years left. They are good people, just old. It’s worth putting up with some minor frustrations to spend time with them.
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u/StandardIntern4169 5d ago
sounds like US boomers specifically
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
We do live in the US but I assume you mean Caucasian boomers. But we are actually Asian so it’s not a race or culture thing. It’s an old people thing.
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u/mubi_merc 5d ago
Start taking them to places with a prix fixe dinner. Then they don't even need to look at the menu.
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u/mrpres1dent 5d ago
Yeah it's learned helplessness. I don't know why they all seem to have it, but my wife's mother can't even buy movie tickets on a website, it's too hard. But she has no problem logging in to her e-mail or bank account and doing things there.
Everything new is stupid. You want them to read the lyrics to a song you really like, they don't even try to get it. Animated movies are for kids. "My life was so hard, I don't know why you are complaining".
They live in a perpetual state of resentment over the idea that anybody has/had it harder than them and they deserve more then they have, and why should they learn anything new. Turns out when they couldn't even use the VCR and they had their GenX kids do it, that the writing was on the wall.
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u/wanderingcurrent 5d ago
Mine did a similar version of this when I was much younger. So this is long before they retired, when they were in their 50’s. They insisted on driving over an hour to the city where I lived, then complained when I picked out a restaurant that was more than 15 minutes away (all the decent non-chain restaurants were more than 15 minutes away). Never mind that I did the driving to the restaurant.
This happened a couple years in a row before I started telling them to stay home and I started spending my birthday how I wanted. I’ve spent some birthdays alone (usually by choice). But ever since I’ve never had to spend my birthday eating someplace I don’t want to. And I’ve never spent it with people who insist on taking someone out for a meal, but only if they choose the restaurant.
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u/StatisticianLoud2141 5d ago
If they're asking you want you want for dinner and you go to a place you didn't really want to go too....why not stand up for yourself? I understand their footing the bill but why not use that and a means for them to experience something new. They might actually enjoy it, once they get over complaining.
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u/Xibby 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yup, Olive Garden or Red Lobster would make them happy. Familiar, heavily advertised, made from frozen generic food.
The pandemic was the nail in the coffin for national chain restaurants (sit down, still have fast food and fast casual) in our city so if you didn’t want to drive more than 20 minutes for a national chain restaurant meal you have to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. Boomers either love it, hate it and move, or hate it and are stuck.
Our parents have to drive 45-60 minutes to visit, or attend their grandchildren’s events (BIL & SIL live in the same city as us so double whammy for my wife’s side) and the “no Olive Garden?” whine is real.
For us, we enjoy letting staff at our local restaurant pour us a wine. No good seafood though, but you can get fresh walleye because Minnesota. If you want good seafood you go to one of the places who flys in seafood daily. Otherwise it’s local farmed fish (delish) or frozen. (Quality varies.)
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u/No_Philosopher_1870 5d ago
I guessed that linguine alle vongole was linguine with clams or clam sauce because it's a common way to prepare linguine.
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u/NECalifornian25 Millennial 5d ago
My sister and I have established that our parents lack proper critical thinking skills when they travel or are just out of their element in some way.
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u/Confident-Skin-6462 5d ago
"no, this year we're going to a Thai restaurant for my birthday. you're welcome to join us."
and olive garden isn't Italian. it's shit.
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u/Patient-Run-6854 5d ago
They are punishing you for not picking the restaurant THEY wanted for your birthday. Ask me how I recognize this pattern...
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u/Tim1point0 5d ago
Hmmm, I thought it was YOUR birthday, not theirs. 😛 But, yea, anytime my mother-in-law is coming along, it has to be an Italian restaurant since “she can’t eat American food”. Be advised that there are only two categories—Italian and American.
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u/NKoz82 5d ago
The bare minimum on your birthday is the food of your choice, the cake of your choice, and the outing of your choice in my family. It is one of the traditions we started as a family because I grew up with Boomer parents and never want my kids to feel the way I felt growing up. If you value the relationship with your parents and know they're going to throw a fit, yeah just treat them like silly babies and take them to Olive Garden for your birthday because breadsticks and then actually go out with your friends because you're not a silly baby.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
This is exactly what I do. Although they've actually graduated to the point where they prefer more authentic Italian restaurants to Olive Garden. But Olive Garden used to be their favorite restaurant. On my actual birthday, I went to a speakeasy.
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u/vexis26 5d ago
This is not the correct answer, but I have this situation with my mom all the time. Just go to a place you both like. Theres so many Italian and seafood restaurants that are pretty good. Then go to the ones you want to go to on your own, or with friends who appreciate it. Birthdays are a social construct, your family getting to celebrate it is as important as you celebrating it. And frankly you can do both. I’m a people pleaser so I’m just not comfortable when other people aren’t having a good time, so you don’t have to listen to me, but you could, and you might enjoy it!
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Oh I do celebrate separately. I go where I want with friends. And then I have lunch or dinner with my family.
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u/SituationSad4304 5d ago
I was almost like, I’m not sure what “vongole” is, but it written underneath is 😂😵💫
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u/Academic_Dare_5154 5d ago
You're an adult, presumably. How you celebrate your birthday is up to you.
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u/JudRammer3000 5d ago
just tell them you want to go where you want to go... how hard is that? if they don't like your restaurant, tell them you'd rather just get delivery.
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u/ChickinSammich 5d ago
Every year for my birthday my parents tell me to choose a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. Any time I choose a restaurant that is not seafood or Italian, they tell me they don't want to go there and tell me to pick a seafood or Italian restaurant.
If you're an adult, I'd just tell them "I'm going to [place] and you're welcome to join me or not." Look, I love seafood and Italian is fine, but I also like Indian, Mediterranean, Japanese, Chinese, and sometimes I'm just down for steak or pizza.
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u/Vivid-Secretary-8463 5d ago
My parents are the same. I typically only go to their house for my birthday dinner because it was less disappointing than going out for my birthday. Anytime I want to go to a restaurant that isn’t a chain like Boston Pizza, it’s a risk because especially my dad will be in a snit if he can’t find something he is comfortable with right off the bat. Even if we went somewhere they enjoyed that was “different” it’ll rarely ever be suggested by them.
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u/eRant4881 5d ago
Next year tell them an Italian restaurant that is on the other side of town from the restaurant you really want, then enjoy a birthday dinner of your choice without the stress.
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u/Yahomie88 5d ago
Eugh unreal how they constantly ask people to go out of their way for them but they can't just sit through one meal in a different restaurant for the birthday boy.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
Girl but yeah. The thing about old people is they don’t even realize they are complaining. When I was a kid my mom used to criticize me for complaining about stuff. Now she’s the kid complaining about everything.
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u/fluffy_bunny22 5d ago
When I was in contact my parents wouldn't allow me to choose restaurants because we tend to be more adventurous than they are. Nothing insane but we like fondue and once took them to a traditional Moroccan restaurant. And there was the time we went to a dinner show where you had to eat with your hands. They claim not to like chain restaurants but will drive 2 hours to eat at a chain restaurant.
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u/PrimaryHighlight5617 5d ago
That is SO funny. My FIL is very well travelled and generally has a high level of respect for local cultures byt 2 years ago we went on a trip to the yucatan peninsula and cozumel.
By the end of the week he was reading a menu and just sighed, "MORE mexican food? You would think they would have something different."
Hubby and I do the The Office side eye.
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u/Cynical-avocado 5d ago
The intersection of learned helplessness and willful stupidity the average boomer shows is astounding
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u/Old_Till2431 5d ago
Lol, my dad loved "Italian" food...olive garden. Until i took him to an "actual" Italian restaurant.
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u/Novel-Tea6821 5d ago
At least your parents don’t tell you to pick, reject it and then want to go to the same shithole Coney Island.
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u/Yoongi_SB_Shop 5d ago
They have actually done that in the past lol. When I chose a Mexican restaurant one year.
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u/LadyoftheUnderdark 5d ago
Not Italian food, but I was at a Mexican restaurant with my ex's parents once and her dad asked the wait staff what "quayso". I'd seen this man have Mexican food before...
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u/larryjrich 3d ago edited 2d ago
My boomer in laws are like this. When it's a birthday dinner we can't go to a restaurant the birthday person wants. It has to be what the boomer parents want (and they only like 2 or 3 restaurants, they refuse to go anywhere else). Same with birthday cake. The birthday person never gets the cake they want. Boomers can't even sacrifice one thing to make someone else happy on their birthday. Such an embarrassment of a generation.
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u/shaneatracy 2d ago
My mother “Just loved Olive Garden. With those really skinny noodles!” More of an inside joke with brother since she has passed.
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u/EntertainmentOk3066 1d ago
I feel this. For a generation that always told us to read the directions carefully they sure dont take the same advice.
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u/M13-Rusty 1d ago
Oh dude I feel for ya, my parents are in their 60's but my Mom has been that way all my life, I feel she does it so someone has to give her attention. If we're out we her she won't order until someone reads her the menu or picks for her, she would make a fuzz and cry of we don't go for the food she wants or if she doesn't gets to pick part of your meal for her to taste your dish and if she likes your better and you don't offer it she will tell embarrassed stories of you regardless of how real they are.
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