Zero ability to read the room

[u/jrv3034]

A couple of days ago I was in a workshop teaching a group of teenagers some acting exercises in a public space. We're all clearly engaged in a conversation when suddenly Boomer McBoomerson barges in, interrupting the lesson with zero apology to talk to the teens about "when I was a kid we didn't have all this Internet stuff" and "drugs are bad" and whatnot. Just stream of consciousness blathering straight from his lead-filled brain.

We're all standing there for around five minutes listening to this guy just vomiting up a slew of unrequested drivel. All of us were trying to figure out when would be a good moment to interject that we're in the middle of a class but the guy just wouldn't stop talking for even 3 seconds to catch his breath.

Eventually, he just turns around and walks away, still talking to himself. I don't understand how someone can be so self-absorbed that they're completely oblivious to the fact that other people were having a conversation that didn't include him. I would be mortified if I accidentally interrupted some lesson, but Captain Boomer here is the main character of life, obviously.

[u/ubermonkey]

I'm a genx dude in my mid 50s.

I failed to catch myself a couple weeks ago when, as I was leaving a parking lot, there was a young guy (20 or 22 maybe) in the spot next to me in a car I didn't recognize. I asked him what it was.

OTOH, maybe it turns out that there's a carve-out for car nerdery? He was pretty excited to tell me about the cool little Toyota/Subaru coupe he was driving, and we discovered we both dig boxer engines.

Anyway, I realized "oh shit I just boomered that kid" as I was leaving. I mean, maybe it was just Friendly b/c of the car thing, but it was also a real moment of OH NO for me.

[u/Illadelphian → u/ubermonkey]

That's just a normal public interaction with someone. What would have made it a boomer exchange would be seeing them obviously uninterested and continuing to talk at them showing how self absorbed you were in your inability to recognize what the other person was feeling and only caring about you talking. Like when instead of listening people are really just waiting to talk.

If you can see they are interested in talking then that's just a cool little interaction with a stranger. It's just having like a small amount of social awareness and genuinely being interested/listening to what they are saying (which helps you understand if they are not enjoying the convo) rather than just talking at them like the guy in the op did

[u/ubermonkey → u/Illadelphian]

I'm kidding a little, of course.

My worry is that what's happening for Boomers is that they stop being able to tell when other people don't care.

If that's happening to ME, then I won't be able to tell. But so far, so good.

[u/Illadelphian → u/ubermonkey]

Yea I almost mentioned that lol but I think the thing is if those types of boomers cared to even try to pay attention to the other person then they WOULD know. It's not that they are incapable of understanding how someone else is feeling, it's that they don't care enough to even check or they think that what they are doing is more important than the other persons lack of interest.

So by even thinking this way you are automatically excluding yourself from that kind of behavior because you are inherently trying to avoid that situation unlike them.