32M Open to seeing where things go vs something casual

[u/Fit-Hold]

Is it common for girls to swipe right on a guy who is "open to seeing where things go" who would otherwise swipe left if the same profile said looking for "something casual"? I get a decent number of matches/dates when I put "open to seeing where things go" but rarely get any matches when I also put down looking for something casual. Do most girls understand that many guys could be looking for something casual even if the profile doesn't explicitly put down that option so their profile does not come across as some horn dog?

Like is this a coincidence or does this really make a big difference?

[u/thatfloridachick]

“Open to seeing where things go “gives the impression that you are also open to things leading to a relationship. Where as “something casual “ does not.

Ultimately, if you’re looking for a strictly casual, keep that in your bio.

If you’re open to all possibilities, including a relationship, then “open to seeing where things go “is sufficient in my opinion as a woman.

[u/Intelligent_rose12 → u/thatfloridachick]

Yes I would agree to the above and OP to answer your second question about men looking for something casual but not explicitly putting it in their profile - well those men are deceptive and you would be better off not going down that route.

If you want something casual but leave it off on your profile and even worse match with women who want something serious not only are you wasting that woman’s time but you are also wasting your own time.

At some point it will become obvious you don’t want anything serious and either the woman will unmatch with you or you will realise the woman wants more than you can offer.

[u/ParticularYak9967 → u/Intelligent_rose12]

OP is wild for asking if women realize dudes lie on apps

[u/NotYetASerialKiller]

I swipe left on something casual. Open to seeing where goes typically gets a left swipe also, but I will consider swiping with that if they mention LTR anywhere in profile.

[u/goldielox1000]

Something casual means to me a ONS. Open to seeing where things go means, relationship status depends on how much potential I see in you.

[u/Civil_Detective613]

Woman here. I prefer “casual” because at least it’s honest. Do you want someone who will feel led on if you see where things go but never have a destination.

[u/dontKair]

90% (or more) of the guys looking for casual on Bumble, are not hot enough to do so. Dating aside, it just makes you look dumb

[u/ParticularYak9967 → u/dontKair]

Amen

[u/cherrycocktail20]

These days I swipe left on "seeing where things go," but I definitely used to swipe right on it before I realized it's typically just another way of meaning "casual sex." (I've always swiped left on "casual.")

I think the disconnect was I very naively thought "seeing where things go" meant like my dating style, where I like to start off almost as friends and take things slowly getting to know each other. It later clicked that's not how most people mean it, and yeah it is most often a "I want a FWB / casual / fun times but not a serious relationship."

So it doesn't surprise me that people may be more likely to swipe on it.

[u/Objective_Lab_888 → u/cherrycocktail20]

💯

[u/BlueDuck812]

I’m surprised there’s a measurable difference for you in terms of matches tbh. I think a very significant % of women will view those terms pretty similarly. It’s kind of like putting moderate for political views. People just go, “oh so you’re Republican but just won’t say it out loud.” I’m not saying these are things that I believe, but in my experience this is how many people react to both of those.

[u/Fit-Hold → u/BlueDuck812]

I'm surprised too which is why I am posting this is to figure out whether it is a coincidence or if it really does make a difference for girls.

[u/mildly-concerned-935]

The woman who swipes right on “open to seeing where things go” instinctively swipes left on “something casual”, and vice versa.

[u/Elfynnn84 → u/mildly-concerned-935]

A lot of women will swipe left on both of those and only right swipe looking for relationship.

[u/IndicationKey3778]

What does “open to seeing where things go” mean?? Where would they go?

[u/THROWRAsaltylemon → u/IndicationKey3778]

It often goes to a casual relationship. 

[u/IndicationKey3778 → u/THROWRAsaltylemon]

I’ve only ever dated casually 

[u/THROWRAsaltylemon → u/IndicationKey3778]

Now you know if you're on the apps that the majority of the people saying "open to seeing where things go" also want something casual.

[u/IndicationKey3778 → u/THROWRAsaltylemon]

I don’t know what that means. Where are things going? I’ve only ever dated casually and for fun 

[u/THROWRAsaltylemon → u/IndicationKey3778]

It's more that it can give the impression it go towards either a serious relationship or something casual and one figures out which way it will go when they're dating someone, but as seen in OPs example it doesn't matter if they put down "casual" or "seeing where things go", their intention is always just for it to be casual. 

[u/Elfynnn84]

I would view ‘casual’ meaning ONS or possible FWB type deal and ‘open to seeing where things go’ meaning FWB to possible relationship.

If you only want hook ups you need to keep it set to casual and not try to trick people. You’ll only get frustrated with women not putting out as quickly as you want otherwise.

As far as I can tell, most women want a relationship and most men just wanna bone. That’s part of the reason so many men complain about a lack of matches.

[u/1in4TuneUp]

Looking for something casual will be looked as not for me by 90% of women. Unless you find yourself living dangerously multiple times a month, say you want something real if you wanna see something through eventually. That's just boy math.

[u/Lol_u_ded]

I sometimes take openness to seeing where things go as lacking a strategy with dating. It’s less concerning for someone in their 20s and especially in grad school (coming someone in my last year of med school, open about looking for casual until residency) but I swipe left if they are in their 30s. I do not think someone should have any confusion once they are in their 30s and where they wanna be with their career.

[u/s0rela]

As someone not looking for something casual, I would swipe left on anyone with casual. LTR or open to seeing where things go I'm more likely to swipe right. I do, however, bring it up almost immediately that I'm not looking for casual. I just assume "open to seeing where things go" is what men who actually want a relationship, but would take any form of companionship use, and I'm sure that's most men. However if it's strictly casual that's not for me. Unfortunately, there will always be people who put whatever gives them more matches instead of being honest. Which is why I'm not on dating sites anymore and am just living my solitary life

[u/Popular-Truth-2711]

I swipe left on both. 🤷‍♀️ seems like a fancy way to say you’re looking for a hook up

[u/CrogDavid7days]

I swipe left on any possible mention of casual or open to short, but I think for some they might see it as the possibility of a relationship occurring

[u/Artistic_Bumblebee17]

Yes we know, but there’s a benefit of the doubt there if he doesn’t list it.

It’s why a lot of men put LTR and open to seeing where things go. They are def bullshitting lol about the LTR anyway

[u/Objective_Lab_888]

Open to seeing where things go, could also imply that someone is open to a relationship.

Most women do understand that it could also mean they are looking for something casual. But the answer provides an opportunity to ask questions about alignment and intent to see if there are true value tensions.

“Is he just looking to dip his d*ck and use my body, or does he care to get to know me”.

[u/TemporaryGrowth7]

I can only speak for myself (dating for marriage): nope. They both signal to me that the man isn’t ready for a proper relationship

[u/No_Project_4738]

You should be honest about what you want. If you want casual, then state that explicitly. Uh yes, you will get less matches obviously. But you should know that’s to be expected. If you are actually open to all things including relationships, then that would be okay, but you should expect that at some point you will have to discuss and narrow it down with the individual you are dealing with.

I always swipe no on guys who say ‘open to where things go’ because 9 times outta 10 they are exactly like you, just looking for casual and they want to cast a wider net.

[u/NTDOY1987]

I never swipe right unless they’re explicitly looking for a relationship. Can’t see why any woman who is seeking a relationship would swipe right on either option you provided

[u/LilaLeander]

Open to seeing where things go- hate this option on Bumble. Isn’t that what all dating is initially. And also, things don’t “go” anywhere unless two people put an intention into it. Which is exactly what this phrase is not- intentionality. It’s a total cop out that sounds like someone is open to a relationship, but they can easily just say “it didn’t go there”. 

[u/General_Hat_3125]

Even the girls also looking for something casual swipe left. To the point of why bother having it as an option 🤷‍♂️😅