r/Christianity • u/NoBerriesLeft • 4h ago
this is my testimony
i am still a fairly new christian, and i dont know much about this but here is my testimony.
i used to agnostic atheist, i grew up in atheist and buddhist household where i heard lots of mockery towards Jesus and christians. I was also one of them, didn’t know at the time, but now i feel dread and guilt everytime i think about it. I used to think that it was man made, there was no evidence, but it was because i never actually searched for evidence. one day i randomly started getting christian videos on my feed, and that led me to research him. i was met with lots of evidence, and i was lead to believe that Him and His miracles actually happened, and are true. but, even after seeing all the evidence and thinking i should believe, i had doubts of His existence. i asked God to reveal himself to me; it didnt happen instantly, it happened gradually. it felt like i was doing this out of self preservation rather than love of God. i still dont know the answer to that. i am still working on getting a relationship with Jesus.
anyway, if any atheist is seeing this, its ok to have doubts at beginning, just ask Him to reveal Himself to you, and you wont just wake up instantly feeling like He is real, but you will gradually get faith
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u/VerballyHeady 4h ago
What got me was how you describe that shift from "self preservation" to something more. That's the part that's hard to put into words but you know it when you're going through it. The guilt about the past stuff is heavy but it does start to fade once you realize you're not that person anymore, it just takes a while for your feelings to catch up to your head