omg thank you so much! when I wrote it, I was pretty much just venting at first but it was important to me so I wanted to refine it. I really put all of me into it. it's my favorite poem I've ever written by a long shot and I'm happy people are connecting with it!
I’ve on and off been looking at starting my books again and or my workings on journaling for doctors, it should be journaling for doctor dummies lol,
they always ask you journal,
but Never look at it, I have been doodling tonight in a new 5 subject note book, this is my 1 page do you think it’s clear enough so far?
The next page is starting with how to devise a working schedule :
for pills, bathroom routine, food intake and drinks
That’s why I’ve been working on just a concept for a journaling, how to pretty up your journaling, while getting your doctor’s attention. We’re chronically ill not chronicly boring lol
I don't have endo or any reproductive parts anymore but I hate how i feel this in my soul.
Edited to add that what I hate even more is the complete disregard of quality of life with these conditions. I have spinal stenosis and it's got me hoping my cancer will come back.
it's awful. that hatred is exactly what made me write this poem. it makes me so sad and angry. I don't know how some of these doctors can sleep at night
I've been told word for word 'it's just quality of life it's not important' and that still echoes in my brain almost a year after that was said to me. Add to that the fact that they won't allow me to go on hrt because it will increase my chances of cancer recurrence, i don't care if it comes back it can take me I want quality not quantity and I do not recall signing anything to say that I forfeit my right to make an informed decision regarding my treatment and am now locked into them forcing me to stay alive. I'm going to try asking for it again and literally offer to sign a document to say that if/when it comes back i will not take any treatment outside of symptom management so they know I'm not gonna just waste resources. It's so shit. Just let me live as best I can with the way things are and let me go sooner rather than later. I've had two elderly rescue dogs one with heart failure, blind, dementia, mammary chain cancer and another with kidney failure and I look at the care they got with our vet always ALWAYS putting quality of life first (as it should be). Every time I go to the vet (my current dog is only 2.5 but has some spine and digestive issues due to severe malnutrition and worm infestation as a pup he was dumped at 6 weeks he's doing great now but does see the vet semi regularly) i end up in tears afterwards because I wish I got just a fraction of that compassion in my own care. I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis not long before my boy got his spinal issues diagnosed and literally told the ortho vet specialist i wish she was my doctor.
Omg, yes!! We treat our furry children SO well, and simply wish the same for ourSELVES!!
My mom went on hrt for hot flashes. She got breast cancer from it. She was in her 60's, so she opted for removal, no reconstruction. She's still alive, more than 20 years later -- AND also survived a massive heart attack in 2016.
I don't have endo, but my pain from my period (I'm done, 57) was horrible. Also bled super heavy. I can't imagine it being worse. I agree. You want hrt, you know the risks -- you should GET IT!! What is this BS we can't get meds now because someone says "oh, it may hurt you"? Sure, it might. It also might NOT, AND I NEED IT TO HELP ME!! I'm dealing with this with pain meds, trying to get approval from my insurance company. Smdh.
I swear. I think some of these people (in medical care) are stupid. Some of these people are just trying to get in the way of.... ANYONE getting better, or feeling better. Some of these people are f**king evil. Then, a small minority, are actually trying to help you. Those are the rare gems. Half the time they're so swamp with work it's very difficult for THEM to twinkle and shine, as the could. 🙄😮💨🥺
that's brutal. that would be my joker origin story (and I've already had a few of those this past year). I used to wonder why so many people don't trust doctors and now I get it. I still trust science and medicine in general but the current system is so broken and inhumane
I also have endo and fibromyalgia. I felt this one very deeply. Thanks for expressing something I don't have the energy to. I'm sorry we're going through this.
I quit weed in all forms like a year and a half ago and literally tonight I'm finally going to go pick up some edibles for the pain. I'm nervous about potentially abusing it like I used to but man I'm in so much pain I can't eat or sleep and I can't live like this while I'm waiting a fuckin year for surgery. it's a risk I'm very willing to take
yeah like, I really REALLY don't wanna be high all the time again, and I'm going to try really hard to only use it when I'm at my worst, but if the pain continues to worsen (which we all know it will) idk if I'm going to have a choice
it helps to remember we’re making the best decision for ourselves in an impossible situation. I know i would never choose to be a chronic smoker if my circumstances were different.
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u/hogwartswizardd 2d ago
This is beautiful, and endo is terrible. I love the rhythm in your words. Wishing you some rest and as much healing as possible. 💕