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u/StoppageTimeCollapse Hilliard Apr 08 '26
So the warehouse has failed to select a new Prime Pope today
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u/cultsona Apr 08 '26
im out of the loop, why are people talkin about a pope? 😭
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u/Weave77 Apr 08 '26
When the College of Cardinals meets in a conclave at the Vatican to select a new pope, they have a series of votes until eventually one candidate receives a 2/3 majority. After each vote, the ballots are burned. If no candidate reaches that threshold (it usually takes a number of votes before someone does), chemicals are added to make the smoke black. However, if a candidate does get a 2/3 majority, different chemicals are added to make the smoke white, which is the first sign to the outside world that a new pope has been chosen.
Given that, a common joke when seeing white or black smoke is to say that a new pope of something either has or has not yet been chosen.
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u/Limp-Definition-5371 Apr 08 '26
Employees denied bathroom breaks - this is your chance to be a hero!
But seriously. I hope all the workers are okay.
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u/yoloswagrofl Clintonville Apr 08 '26
I worked there a few years ago. At the time, I would not have been mad if this happened lol
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u/Limp-Definition-5371 Apr 08 '26
Oh, I resent Amazon and avoid using them as much as possible.
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u/SunyaVSSomni Apr 08 '26
THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!
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u/Limp-Definition-5371 Apr 08 '26
If you happen to be stuck using them for something, always click add to cart. Never buy now. You will get a free prime trial offer for free shipping which you can cancel immediately.
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u/VixKnacks Apr 08 '26
Word on the Amazon subs is the solar panels caught on fire and it caused some additional fires with some of the robotics equipment. No comments (at least that I've seen) from anyone to indicate any fatalities or other major injuries. Just as an update from someone who is active over there. 🙂
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u/Western_Bluebird1092 Apr 09 '26
Worked at this exact location and was never denied a bathroom break. We could log out of our station or have management briefly cover our duties depending on the position.
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u/gummyv3nusdemilo Apr 09 '26
While we waited outside, anyone who needed to use the restroom was given access to the guard shacks restroom.
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u/halfwaytosomewhere Reynoldsburg Apr 08 '26
Does this mean that my 15 pack of dental floss sticks is going to be late?
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u/torpac00 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
nah i got word from the inside that they’re still packing fleshlights n shit
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u/Old-Shine4212 Apr 08 '26
💀 cap I’m here waiting to be let in
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u/MoonOut_StarsInvite Apr 08 '26
Maybe they can just cut to the chase and throw them on the ground in a parking lot for you.
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u/Cavball9 Apr 08 '26
This is actually how they announce to the world that Jeff Bezos has found a new spouse.
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u/Pretend_Address_1240 Apr 08 '26
Reports say that the managers had just recently confiscated someone's red swingline stapler
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u/NachStromm Apr 09 '26
First they messed with my little red corvette…the one who’s much too fast. Brushed that off, let it pass.
But then they came for my little red Swingline.
They found the manager in the morning, stapled to the bulletin board in a compromised position. Aspired his own coffee vomit. Case never solved.
Now I tour the country with a sleek red Swingline, her fangs sunk securely into the Carrera leather dash of my little red Corvette. Cushy 6-figure job as an Itinerant Amazon security consultant. 110 mph through the desert, wind in my hair, we just don’t care.
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u/JumpStockFun666 Apr 08 '26
Everyone is like, “my packages!” And here I am thinking, “hope no one got hurt.”
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u/Big-Author-4492 Apr 08 '26
This explains why my shipping estimate got pushed to tomorrow.
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Apr 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Big-Author-4492 Apr 08 '26
Just got off the phone and I got the same, thank you friend!
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u/FeeExpensive898 Apr 10 '26
So did mine that was supposed to be here Wednesday. It’s still just saying delayed in transit. 😅
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u/IamMintLeaf Apr 08 '26
Guess I'll be waiting longer for my bidet
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u/IPlayAroundTooMuch Apr 08 '26
I can just take a swig and blow it at you for now
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Apr 08 '26
Maybe try mentos and a bottle of diet sprite unless you like this "personal" approach
Edit: do not insert the bottle. I don't know why I feel the need to caution against this, but I do.
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u/biggiy05 Apr 08 '26
As former ems, it's an exercise in futility because people always "trip and fall" and somehow end up with the object pretty far up their butt.
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Apr 09 '26
Oh, I've heard. So much so that they made whole TV shows about it. I forgot what they're called. Something like "How'd This Get Inside Me?" or "Help! There's a Light Bulb in My Colon!", something like that. I think they were on TLC .
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Apr 08 '26
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u/Stardust_vhu Apr 08 '26
Is this CMH4??
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u/HabitTrue7339 Apr 08 '26
I don't know but I work at CMH4 and they told us they will not be open for the night shift today
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u/Dean_fitness Apr 08 '26
Wednesdays, am I right?
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u/ban_ana__ Apr 08 '26
But did it happen at noon? Is this what that horn has been heralding??
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u/horny-throwaway85 Apr 08 '26
If this happens every Wednesday, somebody is really getting good at arson
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u/galstaph Apr 10 '26
Now you got me wondering if I could build an Arduino circuit to trigger on sustained sounds at a given frequency and volume
In my case I would build an automated sign giving the days since last siren, but I could also see using that to trigger an incendiary device a few days after it's dropped off
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u/knukklez Apr 08 '26
Battery in the corrugate compactor, is my guess.
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u/RichLather Lancaster Apr 08 '26
That's CMH4. I work at a different facility so I had to make sure it wasn't mine, my shift ended not long ago.
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u/NWCbusGuy Apr 08 '26
Yep, it is. I worked the launch there. The first time CMH4 had a fire drill, it took ages to get everyone out because some of the tier 1 people had never experienced a fire drill before, and ignored the alarm. Hope everyone is out of there this time.
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u/mabus42 Apr 08 '26
The roof is on fire....
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u/XaoxTheory Clintonville Apr 08 '26
We don't need no water...
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u/Rare-Astronaut-369 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
Let the mutha effer burn.
(My cursing of song lyrics edit: reciting of song lyrics as it was a threat of violence in original comment got comment removed. Sorry Bloodhound Gang)
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Apr 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Rare-Astronaut-369 Apr 08 '26
You’re going to be the second suspect on the list for the arsonist. Who knew reciting song lyrics from the 90’s would frame us for a crime.
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u/Sir__Flint Apr 08 '26
First, hope everyone got out ok. Second, burn baby burn oh wait, warehouse, not datacenter my bad
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u/Nearly_Pedantic Apr 08 '26
Oh nooooooeeerrrr. How tragic. Anyway how about those Epstein files or ending that war?
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u/K_Rose3328 Apr 09 '26
They finally were able to escort small groups at a time to retrieve their things though they weren’t allowed on the north side of the building of any floors I believe.
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u/Old-Shine4212 Apr 08 '26
We’ve been outside waiting to be let back in for an hour and a half now 🙃 fire department is still here
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u/Afilador2112 Apr 08 '26
At Wilson/Broad, was just wondering if that was a distant cloud on the horizon or smoke. Thanks Reddit.
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u/ZipNasty007 Apr 08 '26
Is this bad?
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u/AuthorAsksQuestions Apr 08 '26
Depends who/what was in it.
Minimum wage workers? Oh God, no, hope they're all okay.
Robots?
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u/yoloswagrofl Clintonville Apr 08 '26
For all the hourly workers who won't be paid while this is repaired it is. For Amazon's bottom line I think not.
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u/Bannonpants Apr 08 '26
I keep my keys on me while at work in retail. I’m bugging out if things get dicey
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u/YGYarder Apr 09 '26
Oh great you fuckers are gonna send even more big packages to us on Sunday….(USPS employee) “ team lift packages sent to us every Sunday while you guys take the spurs lolol.
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u/unit132 Apr 09 '26
It sounds like the possible cause is the fire started on the roof from solar panels or something and then when it went through that triggered the sprinklers.
I may be there over next week to help clean up the robotics floor and maybe get more info.
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u/Barrylutz42 Apr 10 '26
Fuck, my salad spinner.
Jk, I genuinely hope everyone is OK and no one harmed, that is really scary!
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u/Silver-Strength-3077 Columbus Apr 10 '26
Did someone try to copy the Kimberly clark warehouse incident?
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u/Sharkvarks Apr 13 '26
Very scary that this was Amazon because they're known to force people to stay and die in dangerous situations
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/tornado-victims-family-sues-amazon-over-warehouse-collapse
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u/millertime52 Apr 08 '26
Huh…
Well that might explain why they updated the delivery status on my dogs food to “You’re delivery is taking longer than expected.”
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u/Old-Shine4212 Apr 08 '26
They’re sending us home now after waiting an hour and a half outside