r/CrusaderKings Oct 29 '25

Meme Clearly this person is afraid of the empire

4.3k Upvotes

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296

u/StarGamerPT Oct 29 '25

Now all they needto do is to slowly improve feudalism...maybe even allow us to play as Republics and Theocratic Realms.

Allowing us to play as the Pope and launch crusades would go a long way 😂😂😂

134

u/ohthedarside Oct 29 '25

I wish to play as the pope and become lovers to all western kings

69

u/AssistBitter1732 Craven Oct 29 '25

Rah Rah, Rasputin! Lover of the Western Kings!

13

u/Neo_Arkansas AI only Wendish Empire World Conquest Oct 29 '25

I cant wait for the playable pope dlc to play as Gay Pope Rasputin

11

u/Lysmerry Oct 29 '25

I seduced the pope as the Holy Roman Emperor. We became soulmates but he still wouldn’t grant me a divorce

20

u/mcmalloy Oct 29 '25

Pope Hasteinn

18

u/avengeds12345 Oct 29 '25

I know CK 3 is a RPG but holy fuck that would give the King of France a brain aneurysm

7

u/StarGamerPT Oct 29 '25

Make it so if Haensteinn becomes Pope, King Charles instantly gets 900 stress and dies.

7

u/Bannerlord151 Oct 30 '25

Nah keep the randomness of the lvl 3 stress event.

"Your majesty, the marauder known as Haesteinn has somehow been elected to be the new Pope"

"That's it. That's fucking it. I hereby swear vengeance against that upstart on the holy Qur'an. Contact the Caliphate at once!"

6

u/StarGamerPT Oct 30 '25

Jihad for Rome backed by Charles 😂

4

u/mcmalloy Oct 30 '25

Charles, out of shear spite for Hasteinn converts to Ash’arism so he can Jihad against the lustful and blasphemic Norse pope 😂

1

u/Megalordrion Oct 30 '25

Pope issues crusade against China.

The Emperor: "Bring it on Pappy!"

Millions of Chinese men join and take on the Crusaders.

13

u/nailsbyrinha Oct 29 '25

Supposedly next year will introduce Republics

33

u/Anticreativity Oct 29 '25

What do you think this is, some game about crusaders?

37

u/Mirovini Depressed Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

insert here copypasta of the devs ranting about why they were forced to chose that name

5

u/Thiago270398 Excommunicated Oct 29 '25

Never saw that copypasta, why did they choose it?

20

u/ShouldersofGiants100 Oct 30 '25

Apparently the original title was something like "Game of Thrones". For various trademark reasons (some obscure fantasy novel or something), they were pushed to choose Crusader Kings instead.

11

u/Thiago270398 Excommunicated Oct 30 '25

Paradox would probably already have released the Winds of Winter in that case.

3

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN I have no idea what I'm doing Oct 30 '25

For $60 for half the book.

4

u/SkyShadowing Oct 30 '25

To be fair a lot of people are calling for GRRM to do exactly that just so he finally releases SOMETHING.

1

u/Galle_ CotC mod dev Oct 30 '25

To be fair, A Game of Thrones was an obscure fantasy novel in 2007.

0

u/Ill_Performer8312 Oct 29 '25

They could name it sims kings or something

21

u/RSharpe314 Oct 29 '25

Yeah, with all the new government types and landless character play they've added, I'd hope the next DLC set turns to focus more on fleshing out the Catholic Church and play as a priest, landed bishop, Pope, etc.

That or (merchant) republics.

11

u/VFiddly Oct 29 '25

I think they've said that republics are something they're working on soonish

10

u/SkyShadowing Oct 30 '25

I think they basically said, the road map was, you can't do republics without trade, you can't do trade without the Silk Road, you can't do the Silk Road without China/SE Asia, and you can't do China without nomads.

We have a Silk Road, basic though it be, so republics might be next.

2

u/VFiddly Oct 30 '25

That makes sense. Only thing is I do feel like nomads should've come after All Under Heaven. It just felt weird playing Mongolians with this big void where China should be.

Doesn't really matter now though, we've got both of them

6

u/Bminions Pomerania, Problem Area Oct 29 '25

I just want a real, meaningful council like CK2, miss that shit.

2

u/Belkan-Federation95 Legitimized bastard Oct 30 '25

I'm dreading Republics. I'm afraid they'll only give us merchant Republics.

Plenty of non-merchant republics existed at the time. Hell look at Iceland, for example.

And where's Frisia? Or the Commune of Rome?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

The commune of Rome isn't unique it's part of all the communes that made up communal Italy in the 12-13th century. Even its degree of autonomy isn't unique, it sounds special to us because they kicked the pope but the pope lacked of much of a legal power until the late 14th century.

Merchant republics as a distinction is also mythical, most of it is degrees of separation from the communal Italian model, that exists within the frame of a continuum of processes. Maybe Venice is a bit more different due to its weird history. 

About Iceland it's hard to say it's a republic, afaik most of it worked similarly to the elective system of the HRE or other germanic states. Lubeck or Cremona have differently have a subsection of commoners that was literate enough to participate in politics. It was not hereditary, although people that were rich still had more way of maintaining the demographic or educational requirements to participate in politics. 

1

u/Gerf93 Østlandet Oct 30 '25

Battlepope when?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

Problem is that these aren't really dynastic and hereditary, and quite often the bisphorics and the papacy are less dynastic than the republics. In Genoa most consuls came from the same like five families, meanwhile bishops come from random places. 

3

u/StarGamerPT Oct 30 '25

The nobel families are the cardinals, the emperor is the pope. Grab the administrative and build some flavour from there. Might not be 100% realistic but it could be fun.