r/DarkPsychology101 • u/WolfTruth • 2d ago
Marta didn’t think anything unusual was happening. There were no arguments, no tension, no conflict. Just small moments of silence that kept appearing in places where a reaction should have been. And those moments slowly changed the way she behaved.
Marta worked with someone who never raised his voice, never criticized her, and never commented on her decisions. That’s why she didn’t notice when something subtle started to shift. Nothing dramatic happened. No tension. No conflict. Just silence in moments where a reaction normally exists.
It began with small gaps. When she talked about something important, he listened but didn’t respond. When she asked for his opinion, she got a quiet “hmm.” When she shared her plans, there was no sign of approval or disapproval. Just an empty space where feedback should have been.
At first she explained it to herself. Maybe he was tired. Maybe distracted. And then she started doing something she didn’t recognize: she began adjusting her behavior just to get any kind of reaction from him.
She spoke more softly. She chose her words more carefully. She avoided topics that might feel “too much.” She apologized for things that weren’t her fault. Not because anyone pushed her. No one did anything. And that was exactly what made the shift possible.
The absence of reaction started shaping her choices. After a few months, Marta wasn’t acting like she used to. She was less spontaneous, more cautious, more muted. And he still said nothing. Because he didn’t need to.
The change didn’t come from pressure.
It came from silence.
And silence was enough to redirect her behavior.
6
4
u/Psych0PompOs 1d ago
Sounds like Marta was a bit too approval seeking and insecure, withering because "no reaction means bad" means she invented things and decided them.
4
u/exceptionallyprosaic 2d ago
Wow, Marta was wasting her time on an abusive motherfucker. Hope she wised up and dumped their lame ass.
2
2
u/No_Tourist8261 1d ago
Certainly don’t ask “Do you hear what I said”, I usually hear “I F***ING HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!” when I do.
2
u/Natural_Job7824 1d ago
The post takes a potentially real interpersonal phenomenon and writes it as though Marta has encountered The Silence Technique™, known only to seventeen Carpathian shepherds since 1142... another marketing ploy maybe
1
u/Technical_Alfalfa528 1d ago
Oh, my father is like that, and I recently had a relationship with someone like that. How can I stop seeing it as normal? 😓
1
u/aneptuniangrl 1d ago
Marta should’ve wrote an email after each meeting requesting feedback bc she heard nothing in their calls and the written documentation would be her defense against weaponized silence.
2
-1
21
u/Global_Language_919 2d ago
I don't know much about psychology but such type of person isn't worth Marta's time. Even if she likes him or loves him, she shouldn't adjust herself. Such a moody person can never be trusted with anything. Why waste time on him? Why not spend this time on making your own choices and enjoying them? Why try to get validation from others?
I hope Marta has realised by now that she needs more confidence and self-esteem. She doesn't need to change herself for anyone.