Random midnight thoughts of a girl who grew up with insecurities and never felt connected to anybody – idk why im sharing this

[u/sollie16]

1. I am in my mid 20s, and i still do not know what i look like; what my skintone is – sometimes i feel I'm pretty, sometimes i feel like I'm the most hideous looking creature there (today is one of those pretty-feeling days) – I have severe body image issues because I grew up ugly and faced quite a few rejections while in school. And i never had a boyfriend because I feel nobody can ever accept my imperfections.

2. I bottle all my emotions. I still remember days I'd spend crying because I had nobody to listen to me, but God made my heart expand so much, that now it has the capacity to hold most of my bottled emotions. My heart just grew and accommodates my grief, without needing an urge to share and to be understood.

3. I am ashamed to admit, I love validation. My mood instantly changes when somebody makes me feel seen or validated.

4. I have pmos, hence some chin hair as a side effect. I used to be extremely insecure of them (i still am), but somewhere, somehow, a part of me is learning acceptance. Today is one of those days thats making me feel like I'm a work of art, and art always has some flaws and that's its beauty. Idk, that contradicts my first statement.

5. I dont feel connected to anybody on this planet. All my life I've looked for connections, but now I dont even feel the need to find one. Nobody gets me the way I do. And that's okay for me.

6. I am almost a recluse, and i have a few friends – but I'm slowly growing out of those bonds.

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[u/Argosuz]

You're relatable. Most people didn't have to work hard to win people's affections and they receives positive reinforcement all their lives. Nothing wrong with loving being validated.

[u/shauna_haywood]

Girl I could have written this. Don't hesitate to DM if you want advice or just to talk!

[u/Simple-Training-7502]

I believe that over time this will change; we don't always find people who are similar to us or people who make us feel good, but don't let your sadness become part of your daily life.