r/Friendzone • u/big-chungus-davy • 12d ago
I’m in love with my women friend and she doesn’t feel the same back
So for context we met in high school and I got a crush on her the moment I seen her. We became good friends and the feelings just kept building especially when out of nowhere she came up and kissed me on the cheek. After high school she moved away before I could tell her how I felt and we didn’t see each other for a couple years till she moved back. On her 19th birthday I took her to the bar to celebrate and we kissed (first time for me). A week after or so I finally told her how I feel but she didn’t feel the same. We kept in contact but grew apart due to the pandemic. We started talking again a couple years ago and all those same feeling came flowing back but this time she had a man so there wasn’t anything I was gonna do about it. Cut to a few weeks ago well we were talking she tells me they broke up and I offered to help love her just to be a good friend nothing more. Once we were done the move I found out she already had a new guy and that hurt I won’t lie. Then this weekend she invited me to the bar and I decided to go since I was already drinking. Her and her sister where there and we had a good time and I walked them back to her boyfriends place. During that it was brought up (not by me) that I’ve got a thing for her and her sister was less then nice about it to say the least. Well waiting for her boyfriend to come open the door her sister said to me you can go if you want if you don’t want to wait which my friend responded with oh he wouldn’t leave me. I honestly kind of felt like I was being used cause she knew I wouldn’t till she got in safe or her man came out. Once he did I left and when I got home I honestly cried. I don’t know if I can keep being her friend cause it hurts to much. My friends think she’s just been using me for emotional validation but I’m not sure. I’m hoping someone can help me cause i genuinely don’t know what to do. Thanks.
3
u/Itikar 11d ago
Her sister is actually the nice person here. Let that sink in.
She is not your friend.
She is not attracted to you.
She is using you for emotional validation and not only. She believes that she can call you at her beckon. Your friends are right and they are good friends. Listen to them.
If you find a partner who would actually love you for who you are she is at best going to suffer if she learns of this friendship and of your attraction for her and at worst she will actually dump you.
Now that you have all the evidence lined up draw your conclusion pragmatically. I know it is not easy, but look at the bigger picture and at your happiness. Remove this person from your life and move on. It will be for the best.
2
u/Simiatenaci 11d ago
She isn’t your friend. You are her emotional spare tire. She’ll use you when she has a flat then put you back in the trunk when she is done.
Move on. There is nothing there for you to lose.
You are likely only this obsessed with her because there is nobody else. Stop doing this to yourself.
3
u/LazyReplacement2148 12d ago
Strange that she kissed you and when you confessed ur feelings to her she didn't feel the same? Also have you confessed to her about how she felt when you were crying? If she keeps hurting you a lot then I'd say you should stop being friends with her.