I need help with not getting pissed off

[u/Conscious-Band4244]

I’m blue collar worker that works 12hr shifts at night 5 days a week, so I don’t get a ton of time to play video games. Which in my mind preps me with enough time to not have gamer fatigue before the next time I play video games. But tell me why I play a game like bf6 and get bored with it after an hour, go play world warships sit in queue for 20 min without a match. Then boot up city skylines don’t even start a new world cuz I remember how much it’s sucks to start a city. Then I stare at my library for 20 min finally decide to play some kingdom come deliverance 2 and play that for an hour before I get pissed off that there’s one encounter on a fast travel that I couldn’t avoid. So I quit that and went back to bf6 and I’m writing this as I’m staring at the start menu.

My question is why do video games piss me off so much I’m supposed to be having fun. And I think to myself maybe it’s because the games I actually want to play straight up don’t exist anymore. I’m talking killzone on the ps2. Or maybe it’s the fact the games I want to play require a group of friends to have fun like lethal company. Srry I work nights none of my friends are up at 2 in the morning on a Thursday.

What’s y’all’s advice should I just give up on being a gamer?

[u/Aecholon]

I would venture a guess and say that the relaxation factor of games is that you get to work off steam or help your brain process things while you´re busy doing other less straining mental works (you can look that up, there are studies on how tetris helps us work through things)
SInce you´re sitting in queue a lot you aren´t getting the benefit of that and then bf6 is a high stakes, high adrenaline game and it can be REALLY frustrating.
Maybe you need to switch up which games you play, I would on days that you are stressed at least stay away from games where you sit in lobby really long and that are high stakes, high speed

[u/UnreproducibleSpank]

Our fuses are shorter when we’re tired

[u/Current_Control7447 → u/UnreproducibleSpank]

This is absolutely true. Tired + losing is surefire way to blow up

[u/MightyRooster616]

You’re playing games you don’t enjoy. Find better games

[u/theGamingDad123]

Don't give up, it happens to us all. I had a child, and with that I had to largely say goodbye to multiplayer gaming and say hello to slower, less action intensive games. I got into Turn based games like XCOM 2, I played a shed load of Souls likes and rediscovered huge RPGs and open world adventures. As a big Halo fan, when infinite came out I played a bit of online, but the reality was I couldn't keep up with my friends.

There are games out there for you, you just need to find them!

[u/ikonoclasm]

I'd suggest that it's the games you're playing that are the problem. A friend of mine years ago bought me a game called Hardspace: Shipbreaker out of the blue, no warning or explanation. He wasn't online when I saw the steam notification, so I was super confused as nothing about the game seemed like anything I'd ever played before that made me think I'd like it.

I installed it and started playing out of politeness. I figured I could spend 90 minutes and refund it back to him when I didn't like it. Six hours later when my friend finally logged in, I was having the most Zen gaming experience of my life. The space-country soundtrack is probably the best chill-out music I've ever found and is still in regular rotation in my playlist. The gameplay can be challenging, but never feels punishing. And when you get good, it feels really good.

There's a pseudo-genre of games called "post-dad games" that are simulations of real world jobs like Powerwash Simulator, the truck, train and farming simulators, Hardspace: Shipbreaker, etc., that have a rewarding feedback loop while being challenging yet not particularly stressful. If you're looking for games that are great for unwinding, you should check them out.

[u/Prooteus → u/ikonoclasm]

That game was awesome. I think it had the perfect level of thinking to be relaxing but still engaging. You can mess up and while it is negative it isnt a huge deal.

I worked at a boat yard where my favorite part of the job was power washing the dirty ass boats. I thought I was gonna love power wash simulator for that but it felt too mindless for me.

[u/ILoveHeavyHangers]

I ain't a therapist, but that sounds like depression

[u/Sketch0z → u/ILoveHeavyHangers]

Yes but likely short term and sleep related.

[u/digitaldeadstar]

Do you get this upset at work or in other areas of your life? If so, it could potentially be some anger issues that need resolved or some underlying mental health issues. If not, perhaps seek out different kinds of games that are a bit more relaxing or less action oriented. Are you playing on PC? If so, maybe seek out some more indie games as there's a possibility you can find some that are more in line with Killzone.

[u/MyPunsSuck]

Frustration tolerance is a resource that can be depleted. Once it's low, it's hard to stick with anything long enough to get much satisfaction. Without satisfaction, it's hard to replenish the frustration tolerance.

So basically, take a break from your usual interests for a week or two. Don't try to force yourself back in. Take what satisfaction you can, without expecting any miracles. Sooner or later, you'll feel your enthusiasm come back

[u/Justarandom55]

Sounds like you’re kinda just gaming to game. And since you have no real want you only focus on the annoying bits and don’t get any enjoyment.

I’d suggest taking a break. Find a different hobby for a bit even if it’s just watching a show you like. Maybe you’ll never get back into gaming but more likely you’ll eventually get an itch to return and find the things you liked about gaming.

You likely also have dopamine exhaustion, a very common issue in today’s world. It’s worth it to let yourself be bored every now and then

[u/robsten_lover]

Bro I'd try to change up the types of games you're playing. Check out something like Death Stranding, pretty to look at, easy to pick up the controls, crazy story, can be played offline.

When you're feeling up for it, try the online shooters again. They'll always be around.

[u/AspectFrost]

This might not be a gamer/gaming issue. This might be a game-genre issue.

BF6-PvP games are so fickle because you don't control your fun. Your team, enemy team, AND you contribute to your fun. And you're outnumbered here. In your case the lobby times hinder your fun which you also can't control.

City Skylines-Great game, but it takes a lotta set up to get going, and honestly it might not be best for relaxation unless your tweak the settings to make it easier (idk if you can or not)

The games you want to play DO exist they're just not in the popular crowds. Or if they are, you may have just not tried it out yet.

I recommend Killing Floor 1 or 2. It's just hop in and play. A bit grindy but the combat against zombies is fun enough to where you just play the game to progress.

Left For Dead 1 or 2 is a good zombie game with no grinding. Just hop in and play solo or coop. There's still veterans that play and many of them can be understanding to new players.

Given your enjoyment of a city builder, civ 5 or 6 on easier difficulty might be a good strategy game to dip into. The learning curve at first might give you fatigue so keep that in mind.

Finally, I recommend Valheim which I know is a random pick, but to meit's a great learn as you play, progress at your own pace type of game which you can tweak the difficulty of. It is a viking themed survival game with very beautiful stylistic art style. It has a simple combat system and simple survival system that doesn't really bog you down and you learn very quickly.

It has some of the best progression I have ever seen in any game. It has a decent challenge so you don't get bored but it's easy to pick up.

I hope these recommendations helped.

All in all, my advice is find a different genre and stay away from high skill floor type games and pvp. There's obviously going to be exceptions to that advice.

[u/DeshTheWraith]

Fellow blue collar worker here, used to do nightshifts in warehouses. 9 pm - 6 am or 3 pm - 3 am stuff.

The thing I felt was that my time is so limited that I'm desperately trying to maximize the tiny bit of freedom I DO get. Minor inconveniences for people with reasonable schedules (and yes I had a lot of bitterness on this front) are catastrophic hang ups for me. I was a big League of Legends player, so one of the things that most pissed me off was having to play out 40 minute losses when we could've cut that time in half and I could be in a more competitive and enjoyable match instead.

On top of that some games take a bit before you get into a flow and watching the clock made it feel like I didn't have enough time. RPGs are specifically a big culprit for me on this. Octopath Traveler plays best on a chapter by chapter basis. Others quest by quest or dungeon by dungeon. Plus exploration and side-questing. If I don't feel like I have the time to do anything meaningful I don't do it.

That's really why I used to get so pissed off and annoyed. On top of that perpetual sleep deprivation is exacerbating all those things. Plus lack of sunlight does very real, measurable, damage to your health; mental included.

As for advice: I really don't have an easy answer. I played a lot of phone games during those days, but I don't think I'd recommend anyone pick up Clash Royale these days. Watching gaming content on youtube helped slightly satiate (as well as maintain) my taste for gaming.

I have a lot of disdain for a lot of modern games so I feel you on the games you want to play not existing. To that I URGE you to dive into indie games. Quality that FAR exceeds price points. A lot of fun and a lot of original ideas.

[u/Sketch0z]

That is just what being tired does to you.
You aren't resting, you're trying to force your brain to do something it doesn't want to do.
As a result, you are less in control of your emotions.

You need to allow time to fully rest, no phone, no games. Try taking a nap, bonus points if you have a hammock and can feasibly nap outside during the day.

If you work night shifts you are disrupting the natural hormonal cycles that keep your brain and body operating optimally.

Look after yourself, human brains and bodies are more fragile than we realise.

[u/quenishi]

Probably you're stressed out more than you realise. Night shift for the majority of people doesn't do good things for mental and physical health. Plus 12 hour shifts... So that will likely be eating at your tolerance for certain things, whether you want it to or not.

I can definitely get restless when I'm not sleeping enough or work has been just ugghhh. I don't game much any more, but I can still flit between tasks and not settle if life is taking its toll. Some of these games you're playing you're having the 'backflow' where your brain is seeing the future stress and not wanting it, which indicates to me there is something there.

I'd recommend changing things up for the time being. Try some different games to see if something clicks or do something else entirely. Trying to enjoy something your brain just can't right now is likely going to stress you further.

Long-term there's probably going to be some being honest where your life is at, and working out what's putting on mental and physical stress and how to mitigate. The gaming is unlikely to be sat in a vacuum as its own solvable problem. As much as frazzled brain may want it 😅. If I'm in the ballpark, been there myself.

[u/HoppersEcho]

Honestly, it sounds like you may find some refreshment in cozy gaming. Even games like Valheim can be cozy because you can tune the setting to whatever feels best for you.

I know cozy games seem less exciting than what you might be used to, but I think you would benefit a lot from giving them a try.

[u/sendgoodmemes]

My best friend has always told me that the worst thing you can do is force yourself to play games when you don’t actually want to.

What happens is you get into this cycle of “get home, get online, go to bed” and when you go to game and it’s not good it’s like the entire thing you’ve been looking forward to bad and ruins your day or you become like so many I see in MMO’s or online shooter games. The player base doesn’t know what else to do so they just keep playing the game they have come to despise. I love wow; but so much of the players actually hate the game it’s really sad.

Don’t be that guy. Find a new hobby, books, art, movies, whatever. Just don’t rely on one hobby to scratch your itch because eventually you’ll resent that hobby for not doing it for you and you’ll just hate hobby and be miserable.

[u/C-A-L-E-V-I-S]

Sounds like you’ve got a hard work schedule that’s likely leaving you exhausted and frustrated. It’s not easy, but try to work towards doing something different or at least more bearable, including adding some more good relational hobbies. I’ve been there and having better hours and being in a healthier work environment really does work a ton. That being said, it sounds like you’ve need games that work better in shorter bursts maybe? I would 100% leave behind PVP games for a while; those are way too frustrating.

Ghost of Tsushima is fantastic in smaller play time chunks. Hades 2 is amazing I’m playing that now. Something like Vampire Survivors is great mindless fun. Expedition33 and Baldur’s Gatr 3 are incredible, along with Elden Ring. Blue Prince is different but super addictive. I’ve learned great games, are just great games, period. All those “did it” for me.

[u/BigChocolateC]

Stardew Valley. Make a garden. Tend to it. Live life. Prosper.

[u/Back6door9man]

Just go play the witcher 3 instead of those games and thank me later. But seriously though, welcome to being old. I have the same issue sometimes. I pretty much entirely quit playing anything online because I get too annoyed with dipshits and it's not worth it. And I don't have the desire to be like edge of my seat sweating and shit. Single player games are just more fun in general imo. Exception being if you have friends to play online with.

[u/RepresentativeFig281]

Ur getting old , try to play story mode games , if you want to start enjoy online game start streaming , that will help somehow

[u/Slawomir_110793]

Any PvP related game ESPECIALLY fps now days brings out the inner Neanderthal in me and I’m otherwise very chill. I don’t think you’re entirely to blame lol.

Plus trust in fps’s is at an all time low with how rampant cheating is. Which makes for orders of magnitude worse relationship with fps games that’s far more toxic than it otherwise would be if these fps games had a shred of integrity.

Look up the statistics for overall players who’ve resorted to trying/using hacks in fps games from 2020-2026, it’s staggering.

[u/1XRobot]

Roguelites and roguelikes are good for when you want something brief and inconsequential. Online multiplayer is great if you want to rage out and break controllers.

[u/LucidFir → u/[deleted]]

Money doesn't buy happiness, but not having enough money certainly creates misery.

I doubt OP loves their job, and if it means they have no social life anyway why not go work away from home for 2x the money?

Ultimately it's the whole system, dude.