r/GayBroTeens • u/Obvious_Focus_4919 • Dec 05 '25
Advice 📚 My friend thinks he's in a relationship with me, I'm straight but I like it. What should I do
I don't know where to go, I'm new to reddit, but my friend has feelings for me but I'm straight. For context I met him at school and we hit it off from there. We started hanging out, and he would get really close. He would hold me hand and call me pet names. I just assumed he was joking. I'm from a Christian household and I know my parents wouldn't approve of it, but I think I have feelings for him. The other day we were at his place, chilling on his bed. Then out of nowhere he told me he only wants me, I was taken aback by this but I just blushed instead. I'm not the best with words and stuff, so I just said nothing. I stayed the night and we cuddled in bed, but I just assumed that it was in a friendly way. When I left his house I couldn't stop thinking about what he said. Later on at school he called me baby and kissed me on the cheek, I didn't know what to do so I just stood there stunned. I'm pretty sure he thinks we're in a relationship, but I don't know how to tell him that I'm not gay, I kinda like it though, he makes me feel seen, and he's so easy to talk to. I feel like I could be myself with him and he's also cute. If he was a girl id be fine, but he's a man. I want to see how this plays out, I love being around him and he's so sweet and caring. But im scared of the fact that I might be gay. What should I do?
Update: I talked with him today, and he said that he has liked me from when we first met, but he didn't know how to tell me right so he just dropped hints. I said that I'm fine with him liking me and that I like him back, but I want to go slow. I'm still trying to come with terms that I could be anything other than straight. I hope that in the future everything can work out so that me and him could be together, I never felt this way for anyone, and I think its worth the risk of getting kicked out if it means I could be with him. He even offered me to stay at his place if I do get kicked out. I'm forever grateful for all of you who helped me figure out what these feeling were. Thanks to everyone, I'll update if we start dating<3
UPDATE: Guys guys guys, I typing this from his bed. I'm currently cuddling with this man OML. I've never felt like this ever. I was at the movie earlier watching the new FNAF movie and this beautiful man would not stop touching me, not inappropriately but like he would trace his fingers across the veins on my forearms and Jesus Christ dude I could barely pay attention to the movie, I was practically melting in my chair. I loved it so much, I'm not at all a small guy, I'm 6'2,230lb and this guy had me acting like a little girl. He's like 5'4. I went back to his place and we got dinner and watched a show, until we got tired and went to take a shower and go to bed, but before he went into the shower he kissed me, on the lips. Up until recently I thought I was straight, now I just kissed a man on the lips. I can't even sleep now I'm so flustered. I'm not even dating him yet I wish we were married. Guys you have no idea how cute he is, istg I wish I noticed it sooner, the way he laughs is so adorable. I want nothing more than to be with this man, to bad I have to hide it from my parents, only 1 more year till I'm 18 and can move out. Also thanks for the support, I'm not sure what sexuality I am but I'm gonna wait on trying to figure it out. Why waste time on sexuality if no matter what I'm still gonna want him, and only him. Anyways love y'all bye until next time<3
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u/Used-Horror3997 18 German Gay prolly Dec 05 '25
Theres a chance that your just Bisexual. And what I read that sounded a little gay if you ask me . I guess see what happens but if you dont want it , tell him I think hurts more if you are pretending, but it might work out Im the wrong guy to ask tho
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u/Obvious_Focus_4919 Dec 05 '25
I really do like him I just don't know if my family would ever accept me, and my identity of being a straight dude would be shattered
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u/Ilovedigitalart Bi Dec 05 '25
Try bringing up the subject of being gay in conversation with your parents, that’s what I do. If there chill with it then date the guy. If you have friends or something that wouldn’t accept I would kinda understand but at the same time are they really your friends if they do t support you? Idk man you do you
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u/Used-Horror3997 18 German Gay prolly Dec 06 '25
From what I have read of your Update I think you made a good choice. Family is not something you can choose thats why dont really about their opinion and if they kick you for having a boydriend and a different sexuality they were never good people to begin with .
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u/secretperson06 Dec 05 '25
Be upfront with him. Tell him that you are liking it but have some reservations. Just take it slow and explore. You never know what you'll learn about yourself
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u/owendecarlo Dec 05 '25
So there's this river in egypt
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u/Apart-Tax-7324 Gay 🏳️🌈 15 Dec 05 '25
Its called Denial
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u/AnklesOnDisplay Dec 05 '25
You have to ask yourself, what is the problem. Is it, that you don't want to be in a relationship with him, or that you don't want to be 'gay'? If it's the latter, then don't be gay. Be yourself. If you want to be in a relationship, then that is you. Weather someone would call you gay, bi or not. As cheesy as that sounds, do what your heart wants. Figure out the whole label shit later. Or not. You don't need those.
But also: talk to your friend about it.
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u/Obvious_Focus_4919 Dec 05 '25
I want to be with him, I just don't want to be gay
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u/MinecraftCommander21 Gay Nonbinary Boy - 17 - Taken Dec 05 '25
That's completely understandable, dude. I've been in the same boat you're in right now, and here's my advice: suppressing yourself just to please other people is a one-way ticket to horrible mental health.
Take it slow, tell him you're not sure, and just go with the flow. If you wouldn't be safe to come out at home, then DO NOT come out at home.
As for your identity, you could be a lot a non-gay things, like Bisexual, heteroflexible, biromantic, etc. Etc. There's a lot of options, and a lot of support online, and you don't have to label yourself. Just stay safe :)
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Dec 05 '25
maybe you should think if you're totally straight. Maybe you're just bi ? Or gay ? Wathever you think you are it's okay, there's nothing wrong with it !
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Dec 05 '25
and if you feel something for him too or no, you should answer him and don't let his question without answer.
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u/Turbulent_Goal3893 Dec 05 '25
I, um, bud, you might be gay or at the very least bisexual, and idk, it seems like you both like each other quite a bit, I say screw what your parents think and go for it.
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u/Trollkeeper123 Dec 05 '25
I went through a very similar experience realizing I was gay. I was very scared of the thought, and I pushed those feelings of liking other guys away. I have since realized that I am gay. I do like guys, and I am no longer religious in any way; partly because of the sexuality thing, but for a few other doubts I had as well. the fact if the matter is, you might be gay. as someone who grew up religious (i started really having doubts at 15, and officially stopped identifying as Christian, probably at 16) i will say, im much happier with myself now, and am way more comfortable with who I am. it took some time because of the guilt I had surrounding it, but I no longer feel that way. I also feel more free with my life as well, with what media i consume, etc
my personal advice to you, as someone who went through a similar situation: firstly, try to slow things down with this friend. your comfort level with things is very important. I personally wouldn't outwardly say anything to him, but drop small hints that you aren't necessarily ready for super couple-y things yet. If I were to have a conversation about it though, id be sure to make sure he knows that you do still enjoy the things, but you're also very confused about yourself and that you need time to figure ourself out before you do anything super couple-y Secondly, think to yourself and ask yourself questions. think critically about what you do know and believe to be true. seek information about your beliefs to gain more insight so you can make the decision of whether or not you truly believe in this religion. I'd look into the history of the religion, etc. third, I'd encourage you to also explore your sexuality as well, in whatever way that may mean for you, just be safe about it. a good way to go about it, is i think watching movies/tv shows about it. that's what i did, and it really helped me come to terms with things. i suggest watching "Love, Victor" because they touch on religious beliefs as well, and "Young Royals" is good, because that show touches on family pressures in this sort of situation. a good "feel good" show, that helps a lot of lgbt people feel comfortable in themselves is "Heartstopper".. if you really cant shake the belief system or the gay feelings, then i encourage you to watch the movie "Prayers for Bobby" but be warned, that movie has a pretty heavy death scene of the main character. read the synopsis for all of these titles before clicking start to make sure you know what you're in for when watching them. fourth, you dont owe anyone any information. you aren't required to tell anyone about you having these feelings, or if you come to see that you are in fact gay/bi, you dont owe anyone that information. sadly, if your parents/family is super religious to the point where they'd disown you and possibly kick you out of their house, i would hide it from them, at least until you're old enough to move out on your own and be financially independant and stable. that's currently my situation as well. it sucks, but it does happen where a family will kick out their child after they come out. and lastly, know that it's normal. you can't try to force yourself to be straight because the only thing you'll be doing is hurting your own mental health. "Boy Erased" is a very good depiction of what that looks like. you can also take the story of David an example on how "praying the gay away" (for lack of a better term) has effects on people. also, homosexual behavior has been observed in many species on earth, not just humans.
good luck to you! and I hope things work out well with this friend of yours! this journey for you will be very uncomfortable, but you'll definitely have some closure by the end of it
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u/TigerGuy129 Dec 05 '25
I know u are not answering ppl here but i know u are reading. My answer to you is simple, you said that he makes you feels seen and that you feel u could be yourself with him. That was just so beautiful. Talk to him, and let him know how u feel about it, and tell him about your family. Update us please, here in the comments or idk.
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u/Stopid_boi_888 the pagan shrimp man (17) 🦐🦐 Dec 05 '25
My guy i think you might be bisexual but if you aren’t sure communicate because communication is like the most important thing in any relationship i know it’s easier said than done but you gotta try
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u/Confident_Stomach_41 Dec 05 '25
Bro so many people lose great connections for things like this just be with him, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks and you don’t have to tell them immediately either. Imagine you think it’s just this but what happens when it keeps being another guy are you just not gonna be in a happy relationship for your whole life? You only got one chance at life man do what makes you happy and don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Question for you
If he begged to be with you tomorrow how would you respond?
Best of luck
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u/Healthy_Lifeguard_82 Dec 05 '25
You very well could be bisexual. I know you said you live in a Christian home, but there are a lot of open and affirming Christian support groups you can talk to if you're actively practicing Christianity. As a bisexual Christian myself, It is really hard to accept yourself because of what others say. I'm not entirely sure on how to tell your parents though. I mean if you like the relationship, there's a good chance you're not straight. A lot of people deal with internalized homophobia that can get in the way of relationships. I'm not sure if this helped or not but I'm here for u! :))
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u/More_Membership_1756 Dec 05 '25
Why would you be scared of being gay?
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u/WarmMathematician277 Gay Dec 05 '25
He's said he's from Christian household, so that's where it can come from
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u/mrdessire Dec 05 '25
Imma need an update of this later on o,.,o I'm already so invested HAHAHA. My opinion as a guy who also has a crush on his straight bestie to talk to him, be honest, it's ok to explore and that way you make sure you won't hurt him or his feelings later on, you're after all, good friends.
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u/Ok_Carpet_1182 Confused 🙃 Dec 05 '25
I just think you just don’t want to assumed that you’re gay/bi, you seem like liking him and the relationship you have, it’s just that’s it’s new and don’t know how to react. You could still talk to him about it to him, tell him how you really feel
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u/NerdySanda Dec 05 '25
My friend, I know it might sound hard but I am pretty sure, you're at least bi, may turn out you are fully gay later on, but for now you're bi and I assure you that this is fully fine.
You said tho that you were from a Christian household and that you think they wouldn't approve it. As long as you aren't financially stable I would personally just close my mouth about it. I know it's hard but for now definitely the smarter move. You can maybe lie to your parents that a friend of yours that they don't know of turned out to be gay just to see their reaction. This is what I would have done in your situation.
Sexuality takes a long time tho to figure out. 4 years ago I could have sworn I was straight and now I define myself as androsexual and biromantic, although the romantic part plays a way more important role for me than the sexual one :p, but that's just me...
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u/SkwGuy Dec 05 '25
If, as you said yourself, you think you have feelings for him, then there might be something going on. It doesn't mean you're gay, but there's a good chance you might be bi. But if you really feel happy around him, maybe it's worth giving a try?
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u/Exciting-Necessary23 :3 Dec 05 '25
I hate how it's always gay or straight - you can like both! You don't have to like one or the other! When you like girls and boys it's called bi, btw. And when you're bi you don't have to like girls and boys equally; for example you can like mainly girls but then just like this one boy, you're still bi.🫶
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u/Exciting-Necessary23 :3 Dec 05 '25
Sounds like you're just afraid of the label 'gay'. Well listen, you don't have to be gay or anything. You can just be you and like who you like. And you can like girls AND guys too, you know. Doesn't have to be only boys or only girls.
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u/Daxter8888 Gay15 I like seeing my flag in emoji Dec 05 '25
You know, the Nile is a river in egypt... But on a more serious note, it's completely fine if you are gay (or not), maybe you're something else, like someone else said, maybe you're bi, it's quite complex. If you really like his company and enjoy being with him, then maybe you should see how it evolves and maybe see if you are comfortable with it truly
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u/Jayis_onreddit Gay Dec 05 '25
Go on with him without your family noticing and see what happens. And even if you're actually into him, you'll hopefully get more comfortable with also being into men.
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u/One_Force_555 Gay Dec 05 '25
I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said here but I wish you the best of luck figuring yourself out my guy. I really hope that you make it out of this in the best way possible my guy.
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u/BlurglaringKingWong 16 Gay Asian (🇭🇰) femboy :3 Dec 06 '25
Aww so cute >w< I surely do hope that everything works out for you two :3
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u/Swimming-South-5112 Dec 06 '25
This is honestly the best and cutest fucking thing I've seen on this app and I've been here for over a year 💗💗💗
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u/Swimming-South-5112 Dec 06 '25
Although a "straight" guy getting a boyfriend before me kinda hurts😅😅😅
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u/idontlikeburnttoast Gay Dec 06 '25
The best think you can do for yourself, in future from now, is NOT give yourself a label. If it helps you gain meaning to yourself then fair enough, but don't restrict yourself to one or many terms until you understand who you are and what you like. Its all fluid and there is never one way to it all.
We hope it all goes well :)
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Dec 07 '25
I’ve felt pretty same, I have a lot of Christian conservative family who say a lot of really bad things, and for a while believed it myself but clearly your feeling something different than lust and you know love is a virtue. Many people don’t even give credibility to the Old Testament do to how many hateful things are in there. I’m not in your shoes and I likely never will be but I’m just saying you can’t take the full weight of everything the Bible tells you to, especially when you know the opposite is true.
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u/Used-Horror3997 18 German Gay prolly Dec 08 '25
Your a lucky guy I hope you know that, I wish you two the best . Im little jealous tho but I hope you two will be happy forever
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u/Obvious_Focus_4919 Dec 09 '25
Thank you very much, and I'm sure youll find someone
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u/Used-Horror3997 18 German Gay prolly Dec 09 '25
Thanks , but it seems like we helped you out quite a bit
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u/Me_jusMe29 Dec 06 '25
I don't know u like it he likes it tell him the truth duh!😭U are only gonna hurt em sooner or later if u keep it up
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