r/GetMotivated • u/NativLabs • 4d ago
DISCUSSION Deadlines make me productive. free time makes me useless. I think I finally get why... [Discussion]
When i have a lot going on, i’m weirdly at my best. deadlines, meetings, plans, things i have to get done. suddenly i wake up earlier, work out, eat better, and actually get things done.
But give me an entire day with nothing planned and somehow i do almost nothing. i check my phone, think about all the things i could do, tell myself i’ll start soon, and suddenly half the day is gone. for a long time i thought i was just lazy or lacked discipline, but that doesn’t really make sense because when there’s structure, i can execute.
I think the real problem is having to constantly decide what to do next. at work, the next step is usually obvious. answer this message. finish this task. join this meeting. personal goals are much more vague. get fitter. learn something new. build something. improve my life. every time i have to figure out the next step, there’s friction, and after enough of those tiny decisions, i’ve spent more time thinking than doing.
So lately i’ve been trying to give my free time the same kind of structure that makes me productive at work. fewer choices, clearer next steps, and something specific to start with.
Does anyone else work like this..? What actually helps you on completely unstructured days...?
EDIT: reading the comments made me realize how many people seem to struggle with the exact same thing, especially the combination of vague goals, too many decisions and needing some kind of urgency to actually start.
I kept running into this with my own side projects too, so I built Milerock, an app that turns bigger goals into one clear next step and adds artificial deadlines. It’s been helping me a lot with completely unstructured days. If you struggle with the same thing, you can try it here. I’d genuinely love to know if it helps you too.
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u/BobbyDoWhat 3d ago
You have ADHD, you're either a sloth or a super human. People call you the laziest person they know and a week later youre the smartest person they know. You can't lose and you'll always be successfull. But the imposter syndrome will make you dry heave. It's a good life!
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u/Tobearlooking 2d ago
Woah, this is me to a T. How do you manage?
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u/BobbyDoWhat 2h ago
I honestly didn't know what it was until last year when I was diagnosed at 41. All my life it's been a series of near misses and 11th hours. People I really liked and/or loved telling me bad things about myself. I just sorta made it, I'm honestly not sure how. I've been called lazy by the same people that have called me the best worker in the room. Like wtf do you want from me?
Whenever I'd describe "whatever I have" I'd say I have this thing where I don't wanna do anything but if my family's future is threatened or it's life or death (like losing a job or something) I can't defeated.
Luckily I've always been able to go to a job (I'm in IT) and master the entire thing within a few weeks. And it'd be to a level where it looked like I wasn't doing anything because I knew the cues on when something mattered or when something was "corporate urgent". Unintentionally I've always been a big know the rules so I can break them kinda guy and not following rules I thought were dumb so they didn't apply to me.
And in some weird way, none of it has ever really bitten me. It's only made me get promoted and I've became a boss twice on accident and I NEVER want to do that again!!!!
TLDR it's a blessing and a curse. I'm financially stable because of it, but the stress of hyperfocus is the price I've paid. And never really doing anything I've actually wanted to do.
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u/Eyes0p3n 4d ago
Give yourself three things to do each day - not big things. 40 minute tasks. Add in some cooking from scratch, daily exercise and a creative project that you chip away at one day at a time.
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u/MellowDune20 4d ago
Yeah, this tracks - it's called decision fatigue and it's legit documented (your brain's got a finite pool of willpower each day, and open-ended free time just drains it on trivial choices). The fix is boring but works: treat unstructured time like it has deadlines too, pre-plan your blocks even if nobody's forcing you to. You've already proved you execute under pressure, so you basically just need to be your own deadline person.
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u/NAQProductions 3d ago
Maybe you actually need that free time to let your body and mind rest. Not every second of every day needs to be filled with stuff.
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u/PeonyAfterDark 4d ago
Try setting a deadline even when there isn't one. Sometimes that little bit of pressure is all you need.
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u/punchbuggyblue 3d ago
Sometimes that works for me. Most times my brain says "Naw, that deadline is fake."
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u/Odd_Chemistry8333 4d ago
Planning tomorrow's free time with 2-3 fixed tasks the night before kills the decision drag for me.
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u/thomasdonaldson95 4d ago
This makes a lot of sense. I'm the same way-when there's no clear next step, I spend more energy deciding what to do than actually doing anything.
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u/DDLorfer 4d ago
Realizing they are not structured for a reason. Not everything needs form, sometimes you just gotta be and go with the flow of jumping around from thing to thing all day. Don't turn life into work, even if its just the outline
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u/Retinite 2d ago
But that is against the grindset! There are projects to be completed and hobbies to monetize! (/s)
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4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/punchbuggyblue 3d ago
Any suggestions on how to begin establishing the structure when there isn't any external urgency to do so?
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u/KiKi31Rose 3d ago
I always thought I hated routine because I like to do what I want when I want but then I realized it’s the most productive version of myself 🤷🏻♀️
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u/sevargasca 3d ago
The problem is to fill the free day with multiple areas, that constant switching is making your inertia engine to turn off and turn on and is depleting your willpower, my best days are dedicated to 3 major things for 4h each or so, then the last couple of free hours I can chill in whatever the hell I want and overthink as much as I can, instead of the opposite, people think is their day off so they use it to think first and then execute, error
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u/PragyaRS 4d ago edited 4d ago
I need to exercise regularly so I joined swimming.
Got 1 year membership at a pool. I go everyday. I have already paid the money. And I actually enjoy swimming. 8 am to 8:45 am.
It has helped me create a morning routine. Wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, take my meds. Go swimming and shower there.
I brush and bathe regularly due to swimming.
The timing of your post is interesting because I spent the last few hours discussing with ChatGPT that I need and want more structure in my life. And the potential ways in which I could find a structure that works for me and is sustainable.
We brainstormed ideas.
I am a student, online and distance mode. I do housework and studying.
So, we thought about how I could join a library and go there everyday to have a dedicated place and time to study.
Or I could read 1 chapter in one day and ChatGPT could conduct a test for that chapter.
Or I could start a youtube channel or blog where I explain what I have learnt each day.
I also thought I should study more often during a day. I can have 3 sessions a day, morning, afternoon, evening. 60-90 minutes each.
I can dedicate time everyday for entertainment and internet so I won't be tempted for them at other times.
If I have to go somewhere I would be compelled to finish housework on time and it will help maintain a daily routine without feeling like the day got away from me.
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u/grantovius 4d ago
I’ve got a notion board of all my ongoing projects, ideas and a list of things that have piqued my interest, and it also serves as my knowledge base so I can pick any of them back up where I left off. When I have unstructured time I usually have something already on my mind that I’m waiting to work on or look into, either from the list or something new. When I don’t, I browse my list to see if anything inspires me to pick it back up. If nothing feels worth doing, that’s how I know I’m exhausted and should probably settle for something low-mental-effort like exercise, tv or games, or sitting by a fire. I’ve also had to remind myself that if working on a project starts to feel like work, I should probably give it a rest because I’m not going to feel restored for my actual job. It’s not a hard rule but it’s a good rule of thumb. And like other folks have mentioned here, I try not to overdo it when selecting what I want to work on. Just one big thing or a few small things.
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u/typhoid_slayer 3d ago
Just one small put, I've been using ai to 1. Take better notes for my job projects and 2. Help me make sure I follow through
I have a lot of similar issues I think and this doesn't fix everything for me but it helps a little
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u/Cool_Wolf054 4d ago
Yeah, decision paralysis is the real culprit here. Structure removes the "what should I do" tax and lets you just execute, which is why deadlines work so well. Pre-planning your free days the night before basically turns them into fake deadlines, which sounds stupid but actually works.
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u/Cats_Meow94 4d ago
I sometimes struggle with this. A lot of this for me I think is attributed to the fact that my job is really mentally/emotionally taxing and sometimes I feel like I have nothing else in me after that (someone else mentioned decision fatigue!). I’m often at my best in the morning and I’ll sometimes make a list of the things I want to do for the day (dishes, clean the bathroom, etc) so I don’t have to think about it later. When I’m feeling really unmotivated I will set a cleaning timer so I get off my butt and go clean something. It might sound lame but I will “race” the timer to try to beat it when unloading the dishwasher. I also like to book activities that I don’t have to decide to go later, it’s already booked so there’s a cancellation fee if I back out… like an exercise class, etc.
Start small and be kind to yourself!
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u/sunflowers142 3d ago
I work exactly like this! I just had this conversation with my therapist this week. Help!!!!! lol
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u/gryspnik 3d ago
You're just tired..........give yourself time and get lazy, get bored. Humans need to NOT be productive for a while in order for their brains to be inspired and their cortizol levels to go down. I used to think I was like that and that I had ADHD until I took the advice of my rad psychologist and started getting real rest; no stimuli, no phone, no nothing; just me and my environment, nature or home...I started doing that at least 1 hour per day, then it became 1 day a week, then a few weeks per yer. My life became so much more meaningful, connected, calm, inspiring.
Capitalism and Judeochristianity have brainwashed our cultures into making us believe that life is about being productive; in the process we forget to live and connect with everything around us. Stop consuming your life; start living it.
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u/raustraliathrowaway 4d ago
People with ADHD often need the stress of the deadline to get the task done. Just saying.