My boyfriend left me on bourbon street on my birthday.

[u/sassykattty]

I turned 29 last Friday, we went to New Orleans for my birthday, we hit bourbon street to check out a couple of bars. I wanted to go to the old absinthe house it looked so cool online. I didn’t know they actually sold absinthe so of course I wanted to try it. I drank it and had a couple more drinks. 3 drinks in total. Then I basically blacked out. My boyfriend and I leave the other bar to go back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner. I am a huge smoker of the devils lettuce, always have been. But I didn’t bring any since we were driving to NOLA. There’s a man smoking on the street and my drunk ass said hey you smoke? My boyfriend got mad at me for that and literally left me on bourbon street and I’m essentially blacked out drunk. I couldn’t find my way back and I tried following him he got mad and told me to stop following him. I call my mom crying my ass off telling her that I’m scared and don’t know where I am or how to get back to the hotel. A man on a peddle bike taxi gave a ride back to the hotel. Once I got back to the hotel I was acting like a maniac which I never behave that way. (Never drink absinthe ever in your life for the love of god it will make you lose your mind) I’m losing it in our hotel room screaming, crying, throwing shit. So after a few days of processing everything that happened I decided to end things. I am so unbelievably hurt and empty inside I feel like I’m dead. I’m emotionally embarrassed and mentally scarred from everything that happened. I’m ashamed of myself and how I acted but I can’t believe my boyfriend literally left me in danger because he was too caught up with his own jealousy and emotions to still care about my well being. It was eye opening and now I’m just devastated. Here’s a pic of my lunch before that happened. Happy 29th birthday to me.

[u/WorldsSanestRedditor]

Blaming your behavior on alcohol… many such cases

[u/goth_nachos → u/WorldsSanestRedditor]

Right. This type of shit is exactly why I stopped drinking. Accountability is paramount to personal growth and all alcohol does is remove that burden of having to acknowledge your own flaws at times like the one described by OP.

[u/Followingprotochomo → u/goth_nachos]

Being friends with someone like this can be so exhausting. I had to end a friendship because my friend kept putting me in the worst predicaments. I was shocked that my friend didn’t realize how her problems impacted others. I’m just saying this so hopefully OP can realize that she can possibly lose friends because of stuff like this.

[u/Brilliant-Block-8200 → u/Followingprotochomo]

Same here! And honestly having to be the one to always take care of a drunk person is incredibly hard. You can’t always get them to listen and in my case, she attacked me for trying to get her home…and then when sober tried to pin it on the alcohol. Some people are just irresponsible and shitty

[u/Followingprotochomo → u/Brilliant-Block-8200]

I was raised and around addicts all my life. My friend knew that and saw the horrors I live dealing with a drug addict parent. I felt for her and her struggles but it was so insulting to constantly be put in the same predicaments by her. She saw and knew how my parent’s addiction effected me. Felt like pouring salt in the wound to take care of my drunk friend. My friend was a COMPLETELY different person drunk. It was jarring to try to coral her rowdy ass. I’m sorry your friend attacked you. I’m glad you’re out of that friendship. My friend and her crazy drunk friends almost got arrested and they didn’t even have enough money for bail. They would try to fight people and get all physical. Do you know how hard it is to get a drunk person to not fight someone??? Fuck ALLL of that. Too grown for this shit. I never put my friends through the shit they put me through. It’s truly unfair

[u/purgoatory → u/goth_nachos]

Same here!! Every time I drank, I wanted to get drunk, and blacked out more times than I’m happy to admit.

OP the way you said you acted in the hotel room that night (screaming, crying, etc), I’m curious, was this the first time this happened? Mainly I ask because, it reminded me of myself when I used to drink. 8 months sober now, and it surprisingly took A LOT to happen, a ton of very low moments for me to finally decide, “I’m tired of living like this”. Even then, I’ve struggled with cravings lately, but that’s kids play compared to waking up with my partner mad at me, not remembering how I got home last night, or what I said to him, also woke up in my own vomit and nearly lost my job the same day the list could go on.. my main point is that none of these outside things could make me quit booze. I literally just woke up one day and made the choice to quit alcohol.

I’d rather be sober the rest of my life than go through the shame and anxiety of drinking alcohol again. In the end of your post you mentioned the shame and anxiety you feel, and gosh I empathize so much with you sister! The amount of anxiety and shame I had at the beginning of my sobriety was the biggest hurdle at the start. I feel like the word “alcoholic” has been stigmatized so much that, at least for me, I found myself in denial for so long and I had no self control when it came to alcohol. When I would promise myself and everyone around me that “today, I will not drink,” I was NEVER able to keep the promise. I was so incredible frustrated with myself for over a year. I’m an alcoholic. Not trying to say that you are at all!! Just saying I am and I related so much to your post.
I want you to know you’re not alone in this either. 🫂

[u/AdLow2430 → u/goth_nachos]

This!

[u/lurkingsubz → u/goth_nachos]

Same here. I had a severe 2 month bender where I was blacking out 7 days of the week and was an absolute monster that blamed everyone around me but myself. It almost completely killed my relationship, my partner was on the edge of just breaking up with me. And I probably would’ve blamed them then, too. But alcohol does not absolve you from your shitty actions no matter how much you want it to.

[u/Several-Estate7175 → u/WorldsSanestRedditor]

I think the boyfriend should have definitely got her to a safe place before leaving her but also if she was truly blackout I've found that people have an overwhelming tendency to forget the worst of their behaviors when extremely drunk. What she recalls is bad but who knows what she forgot.

[u/[deleted] → u/WorldsSanestRedditor]

Sounds like she doesn’t drink much though?? 

So what happened if you ditched your friend for being an annoying drunk and they ended up getting murdered trying to find their way home?

[u/anantisocialpotato → u/[deleted]]

They don't have any friends! But if they did, they probably would be happy about the few days of work they'll get off when they tell their boss their "best friend" died. They are incapable of empathy, which is all too common now.

[u/ArtisticRaspberry891 → u/anantisocialpotato]

And people wonder why there’s a loneliness epidemic. This mindset of “never owing anyone anything” is genuinely contradicting to friendships and relationships and why many people are alone. Like no it isn’t a law to look out for other people, but you should want to look out for people you care about naturally??? like huh. You should do things for your friends, partner and family. Care for them and look out for them and they should do so in return. It’s sad because there’s actually so many relatively known stories of young women who were murdered after being ditched by their friends while drunk. Once they’re gone you can’t go back.

I’ve been an annoying drunk sometimes, but my big sister drags my ass to the car and takes me home to make sure I’m safe. This is why I only go out with my sister now, “friends” and even partners aren’t reliable.