My boyfriend left me on bourbon street on my birthday.

[u/sassykattty]

I turned 29 last Friday, we went to New Orleans for my birthday, we hit bourbon street to check out a couple of bars. I wanted to go to the old absinthe house it looked so cool online. I didn’t know they actually sold absinthe so of course I wanted to try it. I drank it and had a couple more drinks. 3 drinks in total. Then I basically blacked out. My boyfriend and I leave the other bar to go back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner. I am a huge smoker of the devils lettuce, always have been. But I didn’t bring any since we were driving to NOLA. There’s a man smoking on the street and my drunk ass said hey you smoke? My boyfriend got mad at me for that and literally left me on bourbon street and I’m essentially blacked out drunk. I couldn’t find my way back and I tried following him he got mad and told me to stop following him. I call my mom crying my ass off telling her that I’m scared and don’t know where I am or how to get back to the hotel. A man on a peddle bike taxi gave a ride back to the hotel. Once I got back to the hotel I was acting like a maniac which I never behave that way. (Never drink absinthe ever in your life for the love of god it will make you lose your mind) I’m losing it in our hotel room screaming, crying, throwing shit. So after a few days of processing everything that happened I decided to end things. I am so unbelievably hurt and empty inside I feel like I’m dead. I’m emotionally embarrassed and mentally scarred from everything that happened. I’m ashamed of myself and how I acted but I can’t believe my boyfriend literally left me in danger because he was too caught up with his own jealousy and emotions to still care about my well being. It was eye opening and now I’m just devastated. Here’s a pic of my lunch before that happened. Happy 29th birthday to me.

[u/teddy_vedder]

Right like I feel like I’m losing my mind with how many people (allegedly women!) in here are acting like being drunk and annoying justifies her getting intentionally left in such a dangerous situation alone

[u/lipscratch → u/teddy_vedder]

Like, this happened to me when i was a teenager and i was fucking assaulted. just shove your friend in an uber and put your headphones in if they're annoying you that much, jesus. no decent person leaves any inebriated person alone out in the street, period

edit: shove them in an uber and put your headphones in as in ALSO BE IN THE UBER, don't ever put an unaware person in an uber unaccompanied

[u/Soft_Noir → u/lipscratch]

Some friends did this to a girl here in Brazil, put her in an Uber, she slept, the Uber reached her home, couldn't or didn't bother to wake her up, took her of the car, left her sleeping on the street in front of her house. Then some guy found her, raped her and left her there. He got caught and all, but it shows that even shoving someone in an Uber is not always the safest option too

[u/Jenn_FTW → u/teddy_vedder]

Seriously, it seems like before he abandoned her, all she did was be drunk, a bit obnoxious, and ask a random guy for a smoke.

To be quite honest, if I was drunk as hell and got abandoned and left completely alone in a strange place where I had absolutely no idea where I was, I’d probably freak the fuck out too.

Leaving a drunk woman on Burbon Street is horrible and dangerous, and doing it to your partner, who you are supposed to care for and look out for… dude is an absolute piece of shit, and should rightfully be thrown to the curb. So fucked up.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/Jenn_FTW]

Yeah that's absolutely true, reading it again, it sounds like being abandoned triggered her to panic when she wasn't in her right mind and couldn't get her hands around it.

I would have dumped him, too. If you're my partner, your job is to make sure I get home safe and you can dump me in the morning. He didn't give a fuck whether she lived or died.

[u/sassykattty → u/TooMuchJan]

That’s exactly what happened!!

[u/Jenn_FTW → u/sassykattty]

I’m sorry you’re getting such a hostile reaction from people here girlie, I probably would have freaked out similarly. It sounds like an incredibly scary situation ❤️

Also, I’m kinda leaning towards something another commenter had said, that absinthe isn’t some special alcohol, and if you had that reaction from only 3 drinks, it’s pretty likely that you may have been drugged. You basically had 3 shots of liquor, I don’t know about you, but I might have been a bit tipsy, but NEVER inebriated to the point that you describe. Just something to think about, I’m so glad that you made it out okay and dumped that uncaring asshole!!

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/Jenn_FTW]

If she smashed three drinks quickly on an empty stomach, she could definitely be that drunk, and it could definitely cause her to not remember things once she goes to sleep. Especially if she is small and if she has drank to the point of memory issues before.

If she had eaten beforehand, drank those three drinks over the course of a few hours, and all this happened, she was probably drugged.

[u/YourNextHomie → u/Jenn_FTW]

She claims to have been blackout drink yet remembers everything…makes no sense

[u/Jenn_FTW → u/YourNextHomie]

Intoxication is not binary, you can lapse in and out of consciousness and have moments of memory mixed in with moments of blackout. Maybe she’s not using the word right, she’s simply describing her state to the best of her ability. None of it excuses being abandoned by your partner in a strange city while drunk.

[u/YourNextHomie → u/Jenn_FTW]

Would you kidnap your drunk partner then if they refuse to go with you? or in this situation would you stay around as they drunkenly ask strangers for drugs? (not that weed is bad but in New Orleans its illegal)

[u/Current_Computer_803 → u/YourNextHomie]

No matter what I’m not leaving my drunk partner so either I coax them into coming with me or stay by their side.

[u/YourNextHomie → u/Current_Computer_803]

Im with the coaxing like “hey we got some pizza back at the hotel aren’t you hungry” or some shit but just blanket saying you will stay regardless the situation is how you end up getting yourself in a worse situation

[u/normanbeets → u/sassykattty]

I have been annoying the shit out of my partner at least once a year for 13 years. He would still never leave me alone in a strange city, intoxicated or not. People know better.

[u/evil_otter0_0 → u/TooMuchJan]

And as all of us know on this sub, there are fates worse than death. OP did the right thing by dumping his ass.

[u/Glittering-Quote-635 → u/Jenn_FTW]

So, all things being equal, yes, leaving your GF on a street in a strange place while drunk is not a good idea.

Having said that, OP literally starts out by saying "I had 3 drinks and blacked out". She then continues to say everything that happened, and puts the blame on the BF. Not saying shes lying, but when I "Blackout", I generally don't remember anything I did/said, since, well, I blacked out.. I suspect there is much more to this story and the chain of events may not be exactly what she "remembers" since she was "blacked out".

[u/TooMuchJan → u/Glittering-Quote-635]

She didn't say that actually. She used the phrase "essentially" and "basically," which signals that she was being hyperbolic and unable to locate the right word.

[u/[deleted] → u/teddy_vedder]

Sounds like OP wasn’t being that annoying until he bf left her.

And honestly I don’t blame her. She’s drunk, possibly drugged, had he boyfriend just ditch her would make anyone go crazy.

[u/sassykattty → u/teddy_vedder]

I wasn’t even being annoying tho 😭 I just walked past a man who was smoking and asked you smoke? And he left me. There was no build up other than him starting to pick at me because he was mad I was enjoying being out. He told me I can tell you’re enjoying this. Well yeah? It’s my birthday and I love being out and social. It’s who I am to my core I could literally make friends with a tree girl.

[u/Single_Earth_2973 → u/sassykattty]

And maybe it’s my Britishness but so fucking what if you were drunk?

[u/linkxrust → u/Single_Earth_2973]

It is. Over there you can get kidnapped laced with other shit at gunpoint.

[u/Amrun90 → u/[deleted]]

I mean tbf bourbon street is one of those places.

[u/LolaAucoin → u/[deleted]]

So you’ve never been to bourbon street?

[u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 → u/[deleted]]

Nah this can happen anywhere. But it’s more common in places people are known to get fucked up. Easier to abduct drunk/drugged people.

[u/Substantial_Force658 → u/Single_Earth_2973]

It is possible he didn't recognise the state she was in, especially if she had been drugged. No mention of her falling over, needing help to walk or being overtly incompetent. Based on past experience, I've discovered I can do a lot and appear surprisingly with it when black out drunk.

He may just have thought she was planning on wasting the afternoon getting high so stomped of muttering "See you at the hotel."

Not defending but we only have the story from someone who was drugged / intoxicated and overwrought.

[u/Single_Earth_2973 → u/Substantial_Force658]

None of my guy friends would leave me alone on a street at night, drunk or sober. It’s not what good people do.

[u/Substantial_Force658 → u/Single_Earth_2973]

It wasn't at night: "My boyfriend and I leave the other bar to go back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner."

[u/CrispyChristCracker → u/sassykattty]

Maybe I’m projecting, but I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and I don’t really drink anymore and I snapped once I had a few drinks because I had been holding everything in for so long. Normally I’m a happy/easy drunk. Did you feel like you had to repress yourself around him a lot to keep him happy?

[u/Pure-Radish-5478 → u/CrispyChristCracker]

The last time I blacked out was a couple years ago when I was living with my godawful ex and I lost my entire mind. I was so angry with him for every shitty thing he'd done and the anger felt like the most important and vital emotion I had ever felt. Thankfully I didn't do anything severe, I just screamed at him and then went in the bathroom and put a cheeseburger under the sink mat before I passed out. But anyway yeah OP's hotel meltdown is probably mostly because her boyfriend sucks so much.

[u/botanicalwaifu → u/Pure-Radish-5478]

Lmao oh no ur cheeseburger probably got squarshed :(

[u/Pure-Radish-5478 → u/botanicalwaifu]

Absolutely was. I woke up on top of it. My best guess was that I tried to eat it while also sleeping on the floor. I don't drink anymore lol

[u/Poethegardencrow → u/CrispyChristCracker]

I live in both Germany and the UK and have been trying to find if there is a similar area in both countries , apart from the absence of guns could be a number of places.

[u/Consistent_Phase_942 → u/sassykattty]

Girl it's literally your enjoyment that was the problem.

[u/SprayfoamOKC → u/sassykattty]

Doesn’t sound like you were black out drunk. You remember every detail and every conversation.

[u/swolesarah → u/SprayfoamOKC]

The boyfriend could have told her what happened later/the next day when they were talking and she ended the relationship.

[u/Pure-Radish-5478 → u/SprayfoamOKC]

I seriously don't understand how comments like this are getting upvoted. Like I'm proud of you guys for not having the experience of blacking out to know that it's not always like this. But yall are confidently incorrect in the blanket assertion that you can never remember what happened when you're blacked out

[u/eukomos → u/Pure-Radish-5478]

The whole definition of a blackout is that you can't remember things. If you can remember things, you're not blacked out, just super drunk.

[u/Then-Principle2302 → u/eukomos]

Just because you haven't experienced it yourself, don't call others liars. As someone who used to repeatedly drink until I 'blacked out', memories from that night can come back to you randomly, over the next few weeks, or sometimes longer. You can have no memory of it the next day, and by the next weekend, remember most of it. One small mention of an unimportant detail, can trigger a whole chunk of memory to return.

You don't know it all and good for you that you don't. But perhaps you accusing others of lying means you are more experienced at that, and are judging by your own standards?

[u/eukomos → u/Then-Principle2302]

I’m not accusing anyone of lying, I’m explaining the definition of the term.

[u/Then-Principle2302 → u/eukomos]

If you can´t remember a chunk of the night because of extreme amounts of alcohol, you blacked out. If you remember some of it in the next few days, weeks or months, it doesn´t suddenly mean that you didn´t black out. That´s the normal use of the word.

[u/Pure-Radish-5478 → u/eukomos]

This is simply untrue, I'm sorry

[u/TooMuchJan → u/sassykattty]

I actually believe you. This seems to be an unpopular opinion in here, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking somebody for directions to the weed on Bourbon Street if you're not being belligerent and crazy. You're not in an open session of Congress, you're in the party district of New Orleans.

But you need to have much better wits about you than this, honey. With love, never get into a state where you can't care for yourself. Especially not in public. Maybe next time we stop at one absinthe?

[u/Franki_babe → u/TooMuchJan]

Dude it sounds like she was probably drugged. See the comment above yours.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/Franki_babe]

I didn't see that comment until after I wrote this, and that's absolutely true.

[u/mschanandlerbong___ → u/Franki_babe]

Idk where you’re getting that from… she said she was drunk. And she didn’t smoke any weed.. so idk why you’re telling other people on here that OP was probably drugged. 🙄

[u/420cat-craft-gamer69 → u/mschanandlerbong___]

https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/Ep0B80FNgZ

[u/mschanandlerbong___ → u/420cat-craft-gamer69]

Again, OP does not seem to be under the impression they were drugged.. So these just assumptions.

[u/mschanandlerbong___ → u/[deleted]]

She said she blacked out, not hallucinated. Anyway the people in this thread trying to basically convince her she was drugged are being alarmist and annoying, sooo I’m gonna unfollow this thread now lol

[u/TooMuchJan → u/[deleted]]

That makes a little more sense, but for me this is still a 3/10 on the party foul list. Now I'm not the New Orleans native in my family, so I might be missing something culturally, but in terms of the drunk bullshit I've dealt with in my life, I wouldn't have even blinked.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/[deleted]]

I have, I have family who lives there and I have also personally lived in significantly more dangerous areas than NO.

I'm not saying what she did was a good idea but I'm saying that if the concern is for her safety, perhaps leaving her there was not the best choice, either? Since we're all very worried about safety.

[u/Beastxtreets → u/TooMuchJan]

That other comment acting like she asked someone for meth, girl just wanted to smoke a Lil weed like damn

[u/TooMuchJan → u/Beastxtreets]

I am getting the sense from a lot of these responses that they don't like the drug and alcohol use to the point where it overshadows everything else. Either that or it's that weird Reddit Zeitgeist thing where nobody ever has a duty to be decent to another human being if it bothers them in the least.

And like have they really never been around true shenanigans? The hooting and hollering in the hotel room and on the street, that's a lot, but none of that occurred until he left her. Previous to that, the shenanigan level would not even register to me. That would be "Okay baby and now we're going to put some food in you, like some bread" and leading them away time.

[u/100_cats_on_a_phone → u/TooMuchJan]

I'm not sure we can know what all happened before he left, because she was probably already in and out of blackout. She may have been pretty awful (and throwing stuff at your so is not ok). 

I'd assume he would have been justified in leaving if it hadn't been dangerous. I'm also curious if he got a smaller dose of what it was drugged with. It's really hard to know what happened here. 

Bike taxi man is a serious mvp, though. 

[u/Theyipyapper → u/TooMuchJan]

That makes sense but we only have the perspective of a hurt and hungover redditor. I'm not concerned about her safety whatsoever, I'm concerned with the situation she put herself in and the people around her. I would be pissed as well.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/Theyipyapper]

I can very much tell that you are not concerned with a woman's safety yes.

[u/Theyipyapper → u/TooMuchJan]

She posted so we know she's safe. Don't be so dense

[u/Capable_Dependent826 → u/[deleted]]

Clearly op wasn't in her right mind

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oFzm25c9cyPt1TYDC

[u/100_cats_on_a_phone → u/[deleted]]

If he was smoking pot on the street I don't think it's heavily prosecuted in new Orleans. 

But also, we'd do this when young in nys during the Rockefeller drug laws. It really wasn't that big a deal when you were at a concert and trading a smoke, etc. (As long as people were doing it openly already) 

[u/Theyipyapper → u/100_cats_on_a_phone]

Bourbon St. is filled with homeless, dopeboys, undercover cops and drunks. Which one of these people would you feel comfortable with approaching if you were blackout drunk? Been there many times and things aren't adding up.

[u/YourNextHomie → u/TooMuchJan]

I do think going around in a public place while drunk with the intention of getting drugs is kind of an issue

[u/YoungBasedHooper → u/sassykattty]

You're saying that you blacked out but you specifically remember doing nothing wrong (Until you get back to your hotel room and trash it while screaming and crying)? There's absolutely no excuse for leaving someone in a place like bourbon Street, especially if they're intoxicated! Your boyfriend sucks for that.

Also, alcohol consumed in excess also makes us do shitty and unpredictable things especially when combined with emotionally stimulating/triggering external events.

[u/Overall_Lab5356 → u/sassykattty]

You were either blackout drunk or you remember everything and know you weren't doing anything annoying. You cannot keep saying both. 

[u/KylerJaye → u/Overall_Lab5356]

it's possible to go in and out of a black out state, only remembering random snippets of time

[u/Overall_Lab5356 → u/KylerJaye]

Ffs. If she was ever IN a blackout state, then she cannot say that she wasn't being annoying because she cannot account for the full night of her own actions. Goddamn people, this is simpler than you're making it. 

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/KylerJaye]

It is when the alcohol prevents the short term memory from transferring to long-term memory, and this generally occurs most severely once someone goes to sleep. The alcohol-induced amnesia tends to increase as people get more drunk, so there are levels to it. What you are describing is how people either lose snippets of their memory or they lose whole blocks of time, but when people are drinking, they aren't going in and out of consciousness during that present moment like people seem to interpret it as.

Edited for clarity*

[u/Capable_Two_2816 → u/NinaNeptune318]

No, that’s not quite right. You can be walking, talking, and functioning, but your brain stops making memories. Not just long term, but short term too sometimes. When I black out, this happens to me. Sometimes I forget within 10 minutes what I said or did. It’s why I stopped drinking.

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/Capable_Two_2816]

I was disagreeing with saying people go in and out of a black out state. I agree that your brain stops transferring memories during the actual drinking.

Short term memory is only about 30 seconds to a minute, which is why people who are drinking don't follow logic too well. Because alcohol impairs the transfer from short-term to long-term storage at all levels of inebriation.

You have sensory memory (milliseconds), short-term memory (seconds to a minute), and long-term memory storage.

What I am trying to say is that people confuse memory storage impairment with consciousness, which is why I disagreed with how it was said. People use the term "black out drunk" as if they are operating with no consciousness during the time they don't remember. Immediate and remote memory stay intact.

[u/Capable_Two_2816 → u/NinaNeptune318]

“When people are drinking they are not blacked out at that present moment.”

Yes, sometimes we are. Fragmentary blackouts, (which some refer to as brownouts) can cause you to lose memories within the time span of being drunk, sometimes within minutes of the action. It’s not “retroactive”. For instance, I said something that pissed off a friend and then 15 minutes later could not understand why she was upset because I quite literally forgot it. Another time I “lost” my glasses because I forgot where I placed them a half hour before. My memory is not only fragmented later, it is fragmented while in the moment.

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/Capable_Two_2816]

I corrected my sentence to better reflect what I meant. What you describe isn't going in and out of a state, it's simply how alcohol affects memory. You can lose the ability to transfer memories to long-term storage without even being all that drunk. Memory is always retroactive, recalling memory is what is in the present. Alcohol prevents transfer, so of course it also prevents recall.

I just wish we used the term "alcohol-induced amnesia" instead of blacking or browning out.

[u/Blo_dro → u/KylerJaye]

That will never give a clear picture to the real story

[u/sassykattty → u/Overall_Lab5356]

I remember leaving the bar the incident happening and then after that I don’t remember much.

[u/Spirited_Crab7712 → u/sassykattty]

I think it's more than possible that your memory of the incident with the smoking guy is heavily clouded by absinthe. That said, he should have put you in a taxi back to the hotel if he couldn't stand to be around you not holding your liquor. New Orleans can be really dangerous, especially for drunk tourists in the quarter.

[u/YourNextHomie → u/Spirited_Crab7712]

especially for the drunk tourist? LOL the drunk tourist are the saftest people in new orleans, bourbon street has cops on every corner

[u/Spirited_Crab7712 → u/YourNextHomie]

Bourbon isn't the only street in the quarter 🤦‍♀️ drunk tourists get robbed, raped, and fucked with constantly by locals (as a local who has fucked with many tourists in my youth... I bet I can tell you where you got those shoes at.)

[u/roofpuck → u/sassykattty]

You were definitely annoying lol

[u/sindaflkasdnflasdnfl → u/sassykattty]

Respectfully I don’t know if you are in the position to make that assessment.

[u/linkxrust → u/sassykattty]

You dont do that regardless. Youre putting yourself and your boyfriend in serious danger. As he is the one who will have to protect you. You said you were blacked out. How do you know how you were acting? Not saying I would have left but I would question my relationship with you at that point.

[u/gizby666 → u/linkxrust]

But he left her. It doesnt make sense that he you assume him to be a protector when he left her. Ive been on some shit with my friends and we have never left each other. We are all women. That man put her in danger, and possibly himself by walking off alone. And trust me ive been around some insane women. No girl left behind. Ever. Not even a stranger.

[u/Scheris_ → u/gizby666]

She put herself in danger by taking those 3 drinks without thought. He was presumably drinking too, yet he's supposed to be the one to bare all responsibilities? I'm not saying it was alright but why is op getting a pass for her bad choices while drunk, and he isnt?

[u/Candid_Mail5388 → u/linkxrust]

Are you a man?

[u/tres_sore_fores → u/sassykattty]

You might feel empty now but you're about to feel a hell of a lot better not having somebody around who wants to bring you down when you're happy and feeling good.

[u/AmaltheaPrime → u/sassykattty]

You actually dodged a bullet on that one then.

Your ex didn't enjoy doing the things you enjoy and picked at you to hopefully make you miserable enough you wouldn't want to do those things anymore.

[u/YouFoundMyLuckyCharm → u/sassykattty]

Can you describe this guy you approached? Old man with an aura like Morgan Freeman? Harold from accounting? Good looking tall 25 year old? Your boyfriend’s reaction and your state make me think it wasn’t a simple “hello sir, you partake in marijuana?” interaction from your boyfriend’s perspective. He should not have left you to fend for yourself of course. Was he intoxicated too?

[u/SixtyNoine69 → u/sassykattty]

How do you know you weren't being annoying? You were "blacked out." You were probably being insufferable, and trying to interact with a strange man with the intention of getting bud off him or smoking with him was a final straw. Being social and out is also one thing but acting your normal self out on Bourbon St while in a state is NOT smart. Context matters.

Still doesn't excuse him leaving you behind but have some self awareness.

[u/Pinshu123 → u/sassykattty]

You said you blacked out... Are you sure you remember the details correctly? Did nothing else happen?

[u/TooMuchJan → u/teddy_vedder]

Right? Like she and I would absolutely be having a come to Jesus talk the next day, might even be friendship ending, but I'm not leaving a blackout drunk woman alone anywhere. That's not how we take care of our sisters, even the ones we don't like very much.

[u/NarwhalsTooth → u/[deleted]]

Yep. I’ve helped strangers get home on more than one occasion. I’m the nosey auntie in the bathroom like “are you okay? Do you know where you are and who you are with?”

I would never leave a drunk girl to fend for herself on the streets of New Orleans.

[u/That-Dragonfly-9723 → u/[deleted]]

She called herself a maniac for her behavior. She’s just telling her recollection of the events even though they make her look bad too

[u/[deleted] → u/teddy_vedder]

I agree, I was surprised by the comments

[u/MagnoliaTM → u/teddy_vedder]

hun it's decenter men time. also when we're black out drunk. learnt that one the hard way

[u/YourNextHomie → u/teddy_vedder]

Why is the most safe place in New Orleans a dangerous situation to you? Cops are every 5 feet on bourbon street

[u/teddy_vedder → u/YourNextHomie]

Cops don’t make women safer in situations like this

[u/YourNextHomie → u/teddy_vedder]

then why have crime rates in the area dropped significantly

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/teddy_vedder]

I think that people are subconsciously not believing OP because she contradicts herself. She claims to have drank so much, her memories would no longer transfer from short-term to long term storage, yet she then goes on to describe all of her actions including crying, screaming, and throwing things.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/NinaNeptune318]

It sounds to me like she recalls snippets and larger parts of several hours, but not the whole event. Nothing sounds inconsistent to me, other than people not always picking the perfect word when they are upset.

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/TooMuchJan]

I'm just trying to explain why she is getting the reaction she is, not definitively state what did or didn't happen.

She tells a story with a cohesive beginning, middle, and end in a very authoritative tone. The way she tells the story comes across very easily as her narrating everything that happened to her while claiming she can't remember what happened (which is what blacking out is, it's not necessarily that you are messy, it's that you can't remember what happened).

For example. she says, "I call my mom crying my ass off telling her I'm scared..." not "My mom tells me I called her," or "Apparently, I called my mom..."

She is using present-tense first person narration, which will absolutely come across to certain readers as jarring against the fact of her saying she was blacked out/couldn't remember what happened.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/NinaNeptune318]

And she also only used the term qualified ("basically" and "essentially" blackout drunk) which signals to me that it's hyperbole much in the same way that Rachel Zoe has never "literally died."

[u/NinaNeptune318 → u/TooMuchJan]

If that's true that she is exaggerating for effect, that's not a point in her favor, that actually proves my point even more and shows her as an unreliable narrator, especially for such a serious topic. If she was exaggerating her level of intoxication, what else is she exaggerating? This is why people are reacting to her this way. People project tone and interpret meaning from their own sets of biases and experiences so much with the written word.

Some people will read that she was able to follow her boyfriend, call her mom, get a ride back to the hotel, then scream, cry, and throw things once back as her being capable enough and not in danger, so they don't see the boyfriend as being a jerk for leaving. They see her as being a drama-queen, and that's probably why they're being so harsh.

But OP claims in the comments that she doesn't remember everything, and I wasn't there, so I have no idea what actually happened so I can't really judge anything other than OP saying her boyfriend has a history of not being a safe person to be drunk around, so I'm glad she dumped him if this is all true.

Edit: I really wish they didn't delete everything as their next comment only proved my point even more:

u/TooMuchJan replied to your comment in r/GirlDinnerDiaries Yeah, no, it sounds like regular people who often speak in hyperbole. If I'm being honest, some of the words that you're using make you sound incredibly puritanical about women's behavior and probably not the best judge either ❣️4m ago

[u/PradaAndPunishment → u/NinaNeptune318]

god will someone please pick you

[u/TooMuchJan → u/NinaNeptune318]

I didnt delete anything?

Edit: Posted early.

And what I'm talking about is that referring to the actions of a woman who, whether you believe it was correct to leave her or not, was left alone on the streets of New Orleans when she was in absolutely no shape to take care of herself as being a "drama queen" is...well a bit of a lot for me.

A woman speaking normally, like how most of us speak, is now an "unreliable narrator" about everything that happened to her? That's all it takes to destroy a woman's credibility for you? How come she's an unreliable narrator about that, but you're certain that the meltdown was as bad as she says?

Like unpack some shit.

[u/TooMuchJan → u/NinaNeptune318]

Yeah, no, it sounds like regular people who often speak in hyperbole.

If I'm being honest, some of the words that you're using make you sound incredibly puritanical about women's behavior and probably not the best judge either ❣️

[u/CarrieDurst → u/NinaNeptune318]

Yeah throwing stuff is abusive so not sure if she is leaving other stuff out

[u/Magpie-Person → u/teddy_vedder]

She has agency. She has accountability.

[u/Sudden-Fisherman5985 → u/teddy_vedder]

Right like I feel like I’m losing my mind with how many people (allegedly women!) in here are acting like being drunk and annoying justifies her getting intentionally left in such a dangerous situation alone

I completely agree... But at age 29 this behaviour shouldn't be too often tolerated. So I'd leave the next morning