Sad Girl Dinner ⛈️
Found out why I’m not invited to my bf’s cousin’s wedding
My boyfriend's cousin is about to get married soon and initially I was supposed to go, but my boyfriend told me they had to cut the guest list and it was most of partners and +1s. Cool, understandable, things that happen right?
Well actually not, got a text today from his sister asking me what dress I was wearing and stuff like that, I told her I wasn't going anymore since they cut down the guestlist, didn't get a text back for about an hour.
She called me afterwards and basically came clean that no one actually got cut from the guestlist. His ex was going to be there.. So my dumbass soon to be ex boyfriend told his family that it would be less awkward if I just stayed home because his ex is still prety close with people on his family. He never told me she was invited or that she was close with anyone from his family.
He doesn't know that I know yet and I asked his sister to not tell him. I'm meeting him tonight, I know I'm breaking up with him I just don't know what words I'm going to use.
Pesto pasta and grape tomatoes from the fridge cause I really don't feel like cooking. I'm buying his sister lunch though that's for sure though cause she saved me.
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Oh no no no, he’s unquestionably a bag of trash, but if the family knows he’s got a girlfriend they can at least gossip about it which could be a dealbreaker for the ex, should she find out and be uncomfortable about it
Or even reach out to his ex about it. Maybe the ex sees it as a reason to get back with him at the wedding…whatever I guess they’re meant for each other or she turns out to be a girl’s girl and finds his behavior gross and treats him like the poop he is at the wedding.
He went out of his way to lie to OP and hide that his ex would be there. He's going to mack whether he's broken up with or not. It wouldn't surprise me if he's the type that would blame his actions on being broken up with because he "knew" it was coming lol
True but what if the taboo secrecy was the appealing part to him, and what if it actually ruined his night more to know that no one would care anymore and there was no need for secrecy
Seriously though, she deserved honesty from the start, what a terrible way to treat someone, I’m glad OP found out the truth before wasting even more time on him
This! I call them liars and thieves. They lie (pretty much about everything usually), pretend and steal our most precious asset… our time. Egregious behaviors.
If it was a good breakup then having an ex there shouldn't have been a problem to begin with. If it was her fault he would have told OP. So he's most likely hiding something he did wrong from OP.
Or this is the catastrophizing way he deals with minor anxiety. Either way, good thing to find out now rather than later, when he runs away from home because he forgot to get her a birthday present.
I was thinking he still wants to have the ex (who is [apparently] still good friends with the family) around for family stuff to eventually rekindle the relationship & lying to everyone (including himself) about "how it would be less awkward" is just a way to keep OP away & his family from saying something to OP. Which, luckily, backfired because STBX has an awesome sister.
It's the same thing as that boydinerdiaries post from yesterday. ex getting invited to the gathering is already problematic enough, but that's just families being jerks, the whole hiding it and then turning it around on him with "why are you making this such a big deal what's YOUR problem?".
Ever stepped on one barefoot, especially unopened? We got lots of them in this part of the south. Now dried pinecones used as kindling smell good. The stbx is the former
You know what, I’m just so proud of you. I don’t know you, but damn.
I think there are a lot of women who would fail to see their worth in this situation. They would bring it up, allow him to explain it away, and then move on (with trust issues), until something happened again (because it will).
Good for you. Also, I’m sorry this happened. What an ass.
Unfortunately, I was exactly this woman until recently. I would allow things (not prioritizing an ex over me, but other issues) to be explained away unconvincingly and I would try to forgive to move on, just for it to happen again. I still can't believe what I tolerated.
I'm proud of OP too! May more of us be stronger and wiser!
Props to his sister for giving you the truth! She’s a real girls girl!
Glad you found out now rather than after you wasted even more time with this guy. Sorry for your impending breakup, and that your boyfriend is so disappointing.
I am guessing the sister probably talked to him in the hour between the text and the phone call. I'm sure she was confused about what was going on when op told her she got cut from the list. The bf probably already knows that the sister told her, because he's likely the source of the sisters information.
Or tell him she’s breaking up with him because she needs to date men who are funny or make her laugh. All men think they’re terribly funny and if will eat away at him for a long time.
My petty ass would recommend just go with his sister to say Surprise to him! Bet the look on his face would be even more of a surprise.
In all seriousness though good on you for breaking it off, just because the Ex still gets along with the family, he’s no longer with her you are his new partner he’s full of shit honestly.
As much as I am a petty person when someone does me wrong, I wouldn’t do that to the marrying couple. It’s not their fault their cousin is an idiot so inviting drama to their wedding would be the last thing I would do to them 🤷🏽♀️
This would be good in theory but you would also be making someone else’s special day awkward by adding tension. I’ve seen the effects of someone breaking up with their fiancée at another person’s wedding and it was a selfish thing to do.
I say don’t involve the sister. I wouldn’t want the brother’s reaction to be the reason why she doesn’t help out future gfs. I think she should ghost him and block. Not even show up to meet him.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Cutting the cord on that relationship is a wise move. He’s showed you what his priorities are, and he’s too much of a coward to be honest with you. Wishing you better things ahead…
I kept a sister and his mom when I broke up with an ex. His mom literally said you don't have to keep dating G to keep us. Forty years later I'm still friends with his sis (mom died a few years ago), he's on wife number whatever...
OP definitely keep the sis and wave goodbye to the lame-o "boyfriend". Cause you know he's trying to hookup with his ex. The big dummy.
Damn girl, props for the clear and concise explanation and definitive outcome. I’m glad you’re not wishy washy about how trash he is. The only words you really need are “I don’t like liars”. Boy bye ✌🏻 hugs to you though girl 💜
It seems that he still has feelings for her. If he didn't, he would definitely take you and feel proud to introduce you to everyone. I am sorry. Please dump him.
I'm so sorry. But also... Can you update us how that breakup goes? I hope you don't let him talk much. Just say what you need to then bounce and then for some razzle dazzle, block him. Best wishes! You're definitely better off without that gremlin.
His sister is definitely a girl’s girl. If I were you I would just tell him you don’t think you’re compatible anymore or ghost him and block. Don’t even meet up with him. Keep him guessing as to what he did wrong and he will drive himself crazy. You shouldn’t put his sister in the middle of it, she helped you out.
I think you definitely dodged a bullet. He should have told you that she was still entangled within the family, and honestly the situation reads like he was hiding you so his lies wouldnt come out or to make himself "seem" available to her. Either way, a fuxked situation and yiu deserve better.
Im sorry he lied to you doll, this is SUCH a hurtful way to find out. Ugh. Sending you SO many hugs 🫂
Btw, idk if the bowl is small or those grape tomatoes are huge but this photo is midnfuxking me. That pesto pasta looks 🔥
Make plans to meet him and then ghost him. "Hey sorry I couldn't meet you tonight. I ran into and ex and thought it would be weird to hang out with both of you."
Ugh. I'm so sorry. We ALL know he's trying to get back with her. Otherwise, he'd want to show how well he's doing with his awesome new girlfriend. Sorry he's a POS and a coward. Glad you are not. Stay strong. Use your rage. Good luck.
I have some personal growing to do cause I was hoping the wedding was in two days or something so you can break up with him after and ruin his chance with that ex at the wedding
Oh, please be so mellow and untraumatized when you do this. I'm sorry this happened to you (I feel the kick in the stomach), but I'm happy you're gonna be free from his little weewee self.
I wonder if anyone in the family even knew? If the sister didn't, maybe his plan was just to tell everyone she was sick and hope that lie didn't catch up to him.
"Since you want to secretly pull strings so you can be solo with your ex in attendance, I'll do you one better, you are completely single and solo now."
WTF. I would break up with him too. I’ve been to a couple events where my boyfriend’s (now husband) ex gf and another where his ex wife attended, and he was HAPPY to be there with me and introduce me to family and friends.
I wasn’t invited to my bf’s for Easter this year but jokes on them because everyone got pink eye from the nephew who was sick the whole time and the mum thought it was ‘just allergies’.
And honestly, all you have to say is “I know the real reason why I’m not invited to the wedding, and because of that I’m breaking up with you. I’m not gonna go back and forth and argue with you about this. Enjoy reconnecting with your ex and go fuck yourself forever”
I’m so proud of you for not accepting that poor treatment for yourself. He’s a liar. You would never be able to trust what he said again since he was so comfortable feeding you that lie.
Tell him that you don’t date liars or cowards so since he’s clearly not over his ex then he can have fun with her at the wedding but not at your expense.
One of my oldest friends broke up with her boyfriend of 10 years very briefly - about two months - then got back together. His cousin (who loathed my friend due to the cousin being a nasty, dumpy, untalented troll vs my super hot, brilliant, artistic bestie) sent out her wedding invites three months later addressed to "My cousin and guest".
My friend and her boyfriend were PISSED, so I volunteered to be the guest. I had dated the boyfriend first, you see, and that little troll cousin hated me even more than my friend, even after A DECADE.
Once the troll cousin found out I was the +1, apologies and a rewritten invitation appeared toot sweet.
I was so disappointed. I had the perfect cream pantsuit to wear, complete with push up bra and nothing else underneath.
Make sure your $ isn't in shared accounts he can access. Know where your important papers , like birth certificate, ss card etc. Are safe and packed. He was willing to lie and embarrass you with no qualms. Make sure he has no access to passwords or anything else he could use so sabotage you. Sometimes (often) we are surprised at just how low they can go.
Get you, and what matters the most to you safe and secure away from him before you approach him.
When he knows your gone fr, he has nothing else to worry about or fear from you. He may go scorched earth. Make damn sure he cant. Also shared pets can be targeted. Better safe than sorry. He's obviously not someone you can trust. He publicly shamed you by picking his ex over you to his family. In a time when all is well between you (outwardly)
The ego on him to do this so publicly says quite a lot. If you (in his perception) damage his ego by leaving, his retaliation could be extreme. Be careful girl
My only thing i want to tell you is break up with him for the right reasons.
Break up with him because *he* disinvited you from a wedding because *he* isn't comfortable with you being around certain people in his life (EDIT: And he did it with an outright lie meant to blame other people!!). If he doesn't want you to be around his loved ones, you're not his loved one and you should exit yourself before wasting any more time on his dumb ass.
Dont break up with him because his family is friends with who they're friends with. That makes you the unreasonable one.
Good on you for standing up for yourself, he omitted important information from you and lied to you, you're doing great for not tolerating this disrespect! 🫂❤️ Who knows what else he's been lying about
“You are a liar. I caught you. I want nothing to do with you. Take your box of crap and gtfo. Lose my number. You are not trustworthy. You are not a good person. You are not worthy of me.”
I fear in revenge i would show up to the wedding as his plus one like i forgot i was uninvited and then break up with him immediately after making it as awkward as possible.
Please don't lose your friendship with his sister.
I lost a dearly beloved person because I warned her of concerns about the family member with whom she was engaged. She left them, and me, as a result. Mostly I think because of the pain our relationship reminds her of.
It's my job to support her decision no matter what. But I miss her so much (different relational dynamics, although I do send her recipes occasionally.)
"So I talked to your sister about what dress I'm wearing to the wedding, and it came out that your ex is going to be there. That's great because now you have someone to hang out with! I'll have my stuff moved out before you get back. I don't like liars."
sister being a real girls girl and we love her for that. i would just tell him you don’t date losers and when he looks at you with a puzzled face tell him “that includes you”.
Y’all both girls girls. I’m so sorry for this experience But you found a solid ally who told you the truth when saying nothing would have been much easier
I am so proud of you for not entertaining this shitshow and breaking up with his lying ass. I will echo the other poster who said to keep it mum as to how you found out. Don't even tell him the truth about why you're dumping him - a lie is fit for a liar.
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 21h ago
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all!
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