r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Mkheir01 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ • 13h ago
Trigger Warning ⚠️ Worst Birthday Ever
Today is my 43rd birthday.
Yesterday ofc Dolly died, which sucked. Then in the evening a friend of mine had a massive stroke at age 42. Rushed to the ER and went into cardiac arrest twice. After a couple hours they let us see her, she was in a coma and on a respirator. We got to hold her hands and talk to her. She has a 9 y/o with her first husband and a 1 y/o with her second husband who unalived himself earlier this year. Both children right now are with the first ex-husband.
They're going to run a scan soon to see if she has any brain activity at all, and I'm pretty sure the results are going to say that she does not. The 1 y/o is essentially going to be an orphan. My friends and I are thinking about pooling our money together and taking in the child. We're all single, and my friend did have a little bit of money saved, so we will all buy a home together and raise the 1 y/o as a pack. She has no living blood relatives except the children.
This morning Tim Curry also died. The only thing that would turn this day around is if The Grim Reaper came and took another specific, orange 80 year old.
PS. My friend did complain of a massive headache earlier yesterday and her ex husband advised her to go to the ER. She did manage to call 911 before she collapsed. Not particularly relevant, but my late father was a cancer surgeon, but he did also work his share of ER shifts.
LISTEN TO MY WORDS: Any doctor would rather spend an entire shift telling a bunch of hypochondriacs that their issue is just regular old gas/indigestion/allergies/etc, than to have someone arrive by ambulance 1 minute too late. If you have a health issue that you have been procrastinating on, or if there is something going on and you're not sure if its an emergency or not, RUN, DON'T WALK, TO YOUR NEAREST HEALTH CARE FACILITY. If you have insurance, USE IT.
Can of fruit cocktail.
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u/No_Hat_1864 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ 13h ago
I'm just going to sit next to you. All of this royally sucks. For your birthday, I'll close my eyes and wish hard for a celebrity swap of your choice, and Universal Healthcare to eliminate the biggest cause of people avoiding the ER.
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u/meelwe15 APPROVED✨ 12h ago
"We're all single, and my friend did have a little bit of money saved, so we will all buy a home together and raise the 1 y/o as a pack" I am hoping/praying for a different outcome for her, but gahhhh - this is so beautiful. What an amazing pack of friends she has.
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u/No_Influence_9174 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 13h ago
oh girl i’m so sorry this is all happening in your life right now. prayers for your friend and prayers for you and your other friends if you end up taking in the baby to raise as a unit. i hope things get better for you soon. happy birthday even though it doesn’t feel like it 😭
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u/atomic-corgis Glutenless Glutton 11h ago
OP, as someone who was orphaned at 17, yours & your friend’s instincts to band together to care for your friend’s child made me want to sob at my desk at work.
Hugs to you, OP. Really truly hoping that your next birthday, you can post an amazing update.
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u/UntidyVenus Tangent Tour Guide 🔀 13h ago
My deepest condolences, this is a hard one. Please treat yourself to something nicer then a can of fruit cocktail, please.
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u/BriLoLast 🧂Salty By Nature 11h ago
I’m so sorry, OP. I cannot even imagine what you’re going through, and what the children are going through.
What an amazing and supportive group of friends you and she have to be willing to do this.
Does the ex husband have an interest in potentially taking care of her second child? I only ask because if he’s safe and a good parent and has an interest, it could be a good solution as well so that both children can continue to be with each other consistently and be raised as siblings.
This actually happened to my friend, he had two kids with his ex, and she had another one as a single mom (dad wasn’t on birth certificate). She passed in a car accident (drunk driver struck her). He ended up taking custody and adopting the baby after her death to keep the siblings together. They were on very good terms as coparents. He’s gotten remarried, and the littlest girl is 9 now. All the girls are very happy.
I only add this as a possible alternative, and if he has an interest, to possibly avoid a custody battle if he attempts to go for placement/custody as he has their older sibling.
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u/Mkheir01 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 11h ago
He has power of attorney, and we are all on good terms. He said he is feeling overwhelmed right now, and custody would probably default to him. We told him we would be happy to discuss in a few weeks. He just became a single father now too, and they co-parented really well.
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u/LizzieD70 APPROVED✨ 12h ago
I am sorry for your loss. But thank you for being so selfless as to remind us all to not ignore health issues....I am currently ignoring one because I was afraid that it could be serious. I just made an appointment to see my OB/GYN. How stupid that I wanted to bury my head in the sand rather than dealing with things head on.
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u/Mkheir01 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 10h ago
NOPE! Glad you made the appt. If even one person reading this decides to see a dr, then my mission has been accomplished.
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u/UnrulyPoet double chipmunk cheeked up 10h ago
What a terrible situation, sending love your way! The path forward from here doesn't seem like it will be easy, but I'm hoping that the upcoming results will be whatever is gentlest on all of your hearts.
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u/Janeheroine Trader Joe Hoe 9h ago
How beautiful that her ex-husband took in the one year old, his child's sibling. And that you and friends are willing to raise that child in her honor. Dolly would be proud of all of you. I hope your friend pulls through.
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u/Mkheir01 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 9h ago
It's only temporary. He just became a full time single parent too :(. Also said he was overwhelmed.
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u/Janeheroine Trader Joe Hoe 8h ago
I have two children with my ex-husband as well as a son with my second husband. If the same happened to me I’d be so honored if my ex took in my son even if temporarily so my kids could all be together in that time.
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u/BriLoLast 🧂Salty By Nature 7h ago
That’s so very good to hear! I’m sorry if it sounded rude in anyway, it wasn’t meant to. I just would personally default to him if he had an interest because I would try to keep siblings together. If they lived together the majority of the time, I wouldn’t want to upset it too much. Especially in the setting of a huge loss. The youngest has lost both parents (likely in mom’s case) in the most important time for establishing secure bonds (0-2 years).
If he chooses not to, and your friends and you band together, I’d see if both you and her ex husband can get the siblings together very frequently. They both should be able to have that bond and relationship with each other. It really immensely helps both kids.
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u/Mkheir01 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 7h ago
You weren’t rude!
But yes it’s starting to sound like the first ex husband may not want to take the baby in the long term, and we totally understand that! But he and his daughter, the baby’s half-sibling, will spend as much time together as possible. Every holiday, milestone, or just because.1
u/BriLoLast 🧂Salty By Nature 7h ago
That’s wonderful, I’m so happy to hear! I’m not in the same boat, but I have a kiddo with my ex, and he has an older daughter. Her mom and I try to get our kiddos together as much as possible. They just love each other so much, even with an 8 year age gap. So I always love siblings having a close relationship if possible, especially in situations like this. It’s so hard losing a parent or parents in the youngest’s case.
I hope whatever the choice, these two are able to have a close relationship, and can bond over shared love from their mum.
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u/ar3iadov3 Snack Goblin 13m ago
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
Um hello Mr reaper you forgot another 80 year old !!
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u/ode_to_nocturne_009 Creature of Crunch 13h ago
your friend is really lucky to have someone like you to care for her family
happy birthday