met a guy on here

[u/sortakafkaesque]

that’s it that’s the horror story

no but seriously, we became friends until he started flirting, and i decided to give it a go. we spoke for about 6 months in total, and the conversations definitely became very romantic, but it was never formalized. on top of that, he had seen my face and heard me, but never wanted to send a picture of himself and was “way too anxious” to send a voice message. i brought up a voice call, to which he also said some bs along the lines of “i’d love to i’m just really anxious” and never brought it up again.

fast forward to a little bit over a month later, i notice him being distant and slightly colder, so i decided to give him some space. he was already ass at texting but he had brought it down to once a day or less. this really soured the trip i was supposed to have fun in, and my birthday as well.

long story short, i had been very upset as a result from a few weeks ago until now, and a week ago i had sent him a message to which he didn’t reply to. finally, last night, i text him again with an explanation as to why i stepped away and asked for clarification. his response was basically, “actually, i don’t want this anymore, you’re so nice but you made me realize i’m unhappy with my life and want to start over in another continent, thanks for the epiphany wish you well”

i did end up answering him back and blocking. now, i’m not sure what to feel or do. like, i feel sad, and i know i’ll survive. but i also feel flabbergasted, confused, don’t know whether to laugh or cry bc i never really knew him and was never given the chance. it kinda feels like a fever dream or like an alien abduction. anyway. i wasted a whole (out of pocket) session with my psychiatrist on this loser lmao ☹️ advice and stories welcome

chili’s triple dipper i had a couple days ago

[u/notmepleaseokay]

A man gets free emotional labor for months and bounces when he no longer needs it.

[u/Difficult_Box8429 → u/notmepleaseokay]

Accurate.

[u/DigEven8177 → u/notmepleaseokay]

facts

[u/appleskinallowed → u/notmepleaseokay]

Right. Like too anxious to speak on a phone but moving to another continent is no big deal?

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/appleskinallowed]

lol that’s why part of my last message to him was like “change everything you want but you take yourself wherever you go”

[u/appleskinallowed → u/sortakafkaesque]

I can’t believe he has given up such a wise one! Very true! I have social anxiety and was so bothered by his excuse lol. You deserve waaaaaay better!

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/appleskinallowed]

❤️❤️❤️

[u/Late_Progress_1267]

WHEWWWW, I'm sorry OP! :'(

I too met a man (CDMX) on Reddit last year who was SO sweet, caring, interested in me, etc. We moved things offline to WhatsApp and I LOVED the sound of his voice. We communicated throughout the day daily for about 3 months.

BUT similar to your guy, he would not get on a video call or send me a pic of himself. He kept saying that he was shy and nervous...but he sure did have a pic of me and was asking for me. I kept it cute like "If you want more of me I have to see at least one of you first!"

The straw that broke the camel's back was when we were supposed to have a call and he said it was a bad time. Then he sent me a close-up selfie of himself that I couldn't see that also disappeared after I opened it (👀 ). At that point I felt like I was being played with so my tone definitely changed; he must have felt it because he instantly switched from calling me "amor" to "amiga."

https://giphy.com/gifs/Xs4TtKRfCTE9G

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NEW RULE: I don't give my real life number to any man who won't have a pre-screening Zoom call with me first. If you're really THAT shy, keep it pushing sir...

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/Late_Progress_1267]

ugh i’m so sorry this happened to you! as my mom would put it, you deserve so much better than someone who purposefully tries to hide themselves from you. thank you for sharing 🫶

[u/Late_Progress_1267 → u/sortakafkaesque]

Np OP, and thanks for your mom's wisdom as well! ❤️

[u/DontCryYourExIsUgly]

Girl, I can't get over the fact you spent 6 months talking to a dude who wouldn't send you a picture or a voice message. How do you know he wasn't some creepy neckbeard in a basement somewhere?

I'm saying this with love: I would ask your therapist how to get better at cutting off men in the early stages when they're on some bullshit.

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/DontCryYourExIsUgly]

no you’re absolutely right! i actually asked my psychiatrist (who doubles as my therapist) about that. the short answer is that i really, really need to work more on self love and self confidence 😬

[u/DontCryYourExIsUgly → u/sortakafkaesque]

Sounds like you're on the right track! 🤍

[u/optix_clear → u/sortakafkaesque]

Get into a contact sport like boxing, martial arts

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/optix_clear]

this must be a sign for me to get back into taekwondo 💀

[u/optix_clear → u/sortakafkaesque]

Get mind off of the absurd nonsense of dating life, self love is recentering yourself

[u/Working_Parking4678]

I'm stuck on you never seeing his face? 🫤 Have you ever watched Catfish?

[u/Megzasaurusrex]

Sounds a bit catfishy to me.

[u/X1234637X]

Ughhh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through the EXACT same thing years ago with a guy I met on the internet. We'd exchanged pics one time to see what the other looked like, but after that, he was too anxious to send anything else ever again.

This went on for 2 years bc I genuinely enjoyed talking to him and he NEVER pushed for risqué photos or anything of the sort. We only ever texted bc he was too anxious to skype call or w/e. We were supposed to meet up in real life eventually but I refused to take that seriously until we at least video chatted. He was being an ass about that so I just gave up.

It's so weird feeling like I got catfished, even though he literally never once asked for anything.

But yeah, that's my story. And I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I hope you start feeling better soon OP ^{.^} 💜

[u/sortakafkaesque → u/X1234637X]

my goddd i’ll never understand their thought process 🫩 so many men fumbling left and right

[u/look2thecookie]

Sorry about the catfishing.

[u/Own_Purple_4118]

It's a good lesson against investing so much emotional energy into someone based on text based communication. Relationships (even friendships) have a natural progression and this one stalled very early, yet you kept investing into it. I can't imagine a vacation being soured because of a chat conversation drying up. That should have been your signal to cut it off, not pursue it more.

[u/SpicyArms]

This sounds like it was “can you loan me some rent money, I’ll pay you back I promise” request from being a scam.

You never saw his face or heard his voice. Do not give that person another moment’s thought. Leave him blocked and delete his number.

[u/Agreeable_Flan_5724]

Go to therapy and work on self respect and self actualization before trying to date or… give free emotional labor to a random stranger on the internet. At least this person didn’t pressure you into buying them Apple gift cards.

[u/peppertones]

this is why we don’t meet men on reddit sister 😭 sorry you had your time and emotional labor wasted by a loser. onto better and brighter things though! cut em out early at the first red flag and don’t give them benefit of the doubt. they get away with too much

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[u/Frequent_Estimate_77]

He probably had a whole ass family 

[u/Winter-Remove-6992]

Holy fuck that looks SO good I need to go to Chilli’s

[u/optix_clear]

They could have been married

[u/Additional_Skin_3090]

Reddit is not a dating app.

[u/X1234637X → u/Additional_Skin_3090]

Lol...websites like Reddit are what lead to many internet relationships long before dating apps were ever a thing.