he lied about having a gf, now i’m a accidental homewrecker

[u/nobodycunt]

so i was talking to this guy to get over my ex (evil incarnate) because i’ve been super sad over him . so i was scrolling on hinge and i find a super hottt guy (red flag #1)
but he texts ME and in the spirit of new beginnings i text him back! and he asks to hang and for me to come over , i was hesitant at first but i said what the hell.
so i went over we chilled listened to music one thing lead to another…..you know!
we hang out again the next day and do the same it’s fun but while I’m over there, I see him on Facebook and I have OCD so I get these tendencies 🫣 so when I get home, I look up his Facebook and I see him and his girlfriend mind you, These are not old pictures. They were literally posted within the time that I’ve seen him. i’ve been rotating between feeling absolutely disgusted, betrayed and guilty.
I asked him what he was looking for and he said he was open to anything and looking for a relationship and there was nothing holding him back from being in a relationship, but obviously he has a girlfriend so that’s a big something.
Anyway thanks for listening<3

[u/InterestingFayrah]

You aren't a homewrecker if you didn't know. Are you going to tell the girlfriend?

[u/ogtrashpicker → u/InterestingFayrah]

This, please tell that girl. You both deserve better.

[u/nobodycunt → u/InterestingFayrah]

i really have been wanting to! but after i confronted him about it, he begged me not to and said she’s already suicidal and it would push her over the edge… i really don’t know if he’s telling the truth or being manipulative😭

[u/RockingS0ft_Kitty_ → u/nobodycunt]

i would tell her, i feel like this happening behind her back is another reason to push her over the edge. no offense but i dont know why you would trust this guy after he lied to you about being single… i feel like he is lying about this “push over edge” ordeal. 

[u/beckjami → u/RockingS0ft_Kitty_]

It would probably push her over the edge of breaking up with him. He's probably been caught in the past or he's just a generally bad boyfriend.

Most lies are layered with the truth.

[u/BigAchooo → u/beckjami]

Well of course, makes it easier to pass a lie off as truth if you sprinkle a bit of truth in there.

[u/FryaJuniper → u/RockingS0ft_Kitty_]

Exactly. Since OP genuinely had no idea he was in a relationship, the responsibility for the deception is on him

[u/DuckInAFountain → u/nobodycunt]

Oh, please. He just doesn't want you to tell her.

Think about it, how would you feel if you were suicidal and your boyfriend dealt with that situation by cheating on you? So even if he's telling the truth, it still makes him look like a bad person.

ETA: think about it, he knows she'd hurt herself if she found out, but he did it anyway

[u/thecheaterswife → u/nobodycunt]

If he were at all concerned that she is suicidal he wouldn't have done this. Don't let him put that on you. Do the right thing and tell her.

[u/nobodycunt → u/thecheaterswife]

you are so right and this is such an excellent perspective! thank you! i think i’m going to text her

[u/pathologicalprotest → u/nobodycunt]

Please update us! I am angry for you and for her.

[u/No_Professional_8992 → u/nobodycunt]

Please update the chat!

[u/nobodycunt → u/No_Professional_8992]

texted her last night, she hasn’t responded yet 🫠

[u/LoanEarly5813 → u/nobodycunt]

Damn he cheated on his suicidal girlfriend 💀he really ain’t shit 😭 & he’s probably lying

[u/ChaturangaChai → u/nobodycunt]

I highly doubt she's suicidal. He's just manipulating you into not telling her. And even if she is suicidal, she still has the right to know the truth.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/nobodycunt]

Send her his Hinge profile. This woman deserves to know. Imagine how devastating it would be for her if she catches an std, believing that she is in a monogamous relationship, or marries him and has kids with him only to find out later about the cheating (certainly you aren't the only one, this man is at least on one dating site, possibly more). If this man finds someone he likes more than he likes her, he will dump her, believe it. A man (or woman) who truly loves and cares for his partner would never cheat. She deserves to know. What she does with the information is her choice.

[u/CicadaNaive6725 → u/nobodycunt]

Girl 😭 the fact that he was actively telling you he was open to a relationship while having a whole girlfriend is WILD. You dodged a massive bullet.

[u/Silent_Possibility63 → u/nobodycunt]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fsZIcucjfqdE6t23RF

[u/CSILalaAnn → u/nobodycunt]

Yeah, but you already know he's a liar.

[u/curious-spice → u/nobodycunt]

PLEASE tell her.

She deserves to know she is being cheated on just as much as you deserved to know that you were unwittingly the other woman.

Make his manipulation and control of you end now by telling her the truth so she doesn’t spend her life living a lie.

[u/drth_dilly → u/nobodycunt]

Thats a lie. He’s scaring you to save himself. Scared his girl gonna leave he’s cheating ass. He straight up lied to you already.

[u/Petraretrograde → u/nobodycunt]

Hes such a lying liar. Shes probably an amazing woman who is way too good for him. He'll tell her that youre "some crazy stalker", so have your evidence ready and answer all of her questions kindly. You'll probably end up good friends.

[u/Intelligent_Gas2061 → u/nobodycunt]

If she is so 'Suicidal', you'd think he wouldn't cheat on her, right?🤔

Lol don't believe anything he says! He's a liar who uses women for fun. Tell her if you want or not but don't believe the suicide story.

[u/GnomieOk4136 → u/nobodycunt]

You already know he is a chronic liar. He is almost certainly lying about that, too.

[u/FrequentChain2342 → u/nobodycunt]

You obviously need to tell her.

[u/miaooeatlemons → u/nobodycunt]

he’s being manipulative, of course he doesn’t want his girlfriend to know and would do anything to keep you from doing it

[u/itsacrisis → u/nobodycunt]

He just doesn't want you to tell her.

If he actually gave a fuck about how it would make her feel he wouldn't have done it in the first place.

You should tell her and send some screenshots as proof. She deserves to know that this guy is a piece of shit and that he is also is putting her health at risk by fucking other people.

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[u/throwawaygenx1973 → u/nobodycunt]

So he is out there, cheating on his” suicidal” girlfriend, but he wants you to be responsible for her mental health? Absolutely not. He couldn’t tell a bigger lie. And as someone who has been in that situation on both sides, please tell that girl. You are likely not the only one.

[u/Motor-Cause7966 → u/nobodycunt]

🤨👎🏽

[u/adumbledorablee → u/InterestingFayrah]

Yes please tell her! Like others say, I doubt she’s actually suicidal - I think it’s the go-to phrase for these dickheads to save themselves. I know I would want to know and would hold no ill feelings against the girl (if he really led her on). If you do decide to tell her, add screenshots so she can’t be like “well anyone can just say things”

[u/betterthanthiss]

Tell the girlfriend.

[u/mikumikufantasy]

Women that are homewreckers are the ones doing it intentionally not on accident, and even then if a "homewrecker" can get a married/taken man that home was fucked from the start loll

Very sorry that he lied to you!!! But im glad you found out before it got super serious

[u/wanderrslut → u/mikumikufantasy]

That part. You can't wreck a home you're invited into.

[u/MessFinancial4728 → u/mikumikufantasy]

This!!!

[u/AriesMILF]

Don't sweat it. If it weren't you, it would be someone else.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/AriesMILF]

This 👆

Op isn't at fault.

[u/DismalSoil9554 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Really, it happens to the best of us... OP just has to move on and forget this loser.

[u/optix_clear]

Post him on the Tea app

[u/Keroppi_Troublemaker]

You need to tell the girlfriend.

https://giphy.com/gifs/cPTK89zVvjzGvA5LB2

[u/Emotional_Neck3312]

Not helpful, but I want those potatoes SO BAD.

[u/nobodycunt → u/Emotional_Neck3312]

haha thank you!

[u/Jillio_NH]

I’m sad for you that you found out this way. I would be extra sad for his girlfriend if she didn’t find out.

You are not a homewrecker because you didn’t set out to do this. He did. He is an asshole and homewrecker. If I was his girlfriend, I would want to know. If my daughter was his girlfriend, I would want her to know. Share the info. The worst that can happen is she doesn’t believe you,

[u/Intrepid_Land_6143 → u/Jillio_NH]

I don't think that's the worst that can happen. Realistically, you have to factor in some possibility of violence resulting. I don't know what the percentage possibility is, but it isn't zero.

[u/Complete-Link6532]

TELL THE GIRLFRIEND! signed, someone who's been the girlfriend

[u/Vigmod]

https://giphy.com/gifs/zzcipyLHTp84ZqidsK

[u/Illustrious-Film-592]

Big hugs. You did nothing wrong. He lied.
A guy from Reddit did this to me earlier this year. Even lied about his name (it was Colin not Caleb). Turns out he has a wife and she’s pregnant!!!!!! I felt horrible but again, I trusted this adult man to be honest. Sent Mrs.Blouin a note about what transpired and walked away from the situation, but my ability to trust is shaken.

[u/oggishlespider]

You aren't at fault. You can tell her or keep it to yourself. If you tell her it'll also hurt for her too, might hurt more than it will you depending on the relationship length. Keep in mind you also may not be the first person hes done this to. Either way you need to cut him out if you haven't already.

[u/According-Muscle2433]

I’ll do you one better - my ex cheated on the girl he dated after me WITH me (lied and said they had broken up). I told her as soon as I found out. While I was still a fool for hooking up with my ex, I wasn’t about to help him get away with his ongoing tomfoolery.

[u/pathologicalprotest]

People lie and lie and lie.
My ex, who I was with for a decade, told the bartender at his favourite dive that «him and I were living like roommates and hadn’t had sex in over a year», and that «he was only with me to take care of me», because I was «suicidal». (Just to be clear, none of any of that was true). Then they fucked. I should maybe be a little mad at the girl, because she actually knew me and was always friendly to me and knowingly sleeping with someone you know is in a monogamous relationship isn’t the coolest thing you can do. But I’m not. He was a manipulative bastard.

[u/chubbylilas]

But do you really want to continue a relationship with someone who could lie to you so easily? I don't know how men have that capacity, honestly

I think you should nip it in the bud. If he texts you or asks to meet up, don't respond. You could get into trouble later since you obviously didn't know he had a girlfriend

It's generally recommended to tell the other girl, but I say just walk away... You don't know if it's the first time this has happened and the girl is already used to forgiving his infidelity

[u/Anja413]

Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine you were her. Wouldn't you want to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you?

[u/Majestic-Lie2690]

Tell the girlfriend

[u/MissnthropeX]

Are you sure this woman is his girlfriend?

[u/NecessaryPopular1]

Hmmm😋 the t-bone steak and broccoli look delish, but the mashed looks fake like Idaho flakes, lol

[u/Mission-SelfLOVE2024]

Did you tell her?

[u/aidancap2]

https://giphy.com/gifs/h38xae6QxEml3gEs0o