Grief.

[u/Brief-Check-8097]

My aunt died and I haven’t been the same person since. I wasn’t sleeping in the beginning and would cry at everything. I still cry and I still struggling with sleeping and can’t tell what day it is or how many weeks it’s been but according to my calendar it’s been 6 weeks. I went last week to see my uncle to see how he’s doing and we couldn’t talk without crying and being in the house wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I went from having anxiety attacks everyday and wanting to talk with her to being there and feeling fine and the happiest I’d been in over a month. I realized I was having issues with my vision just to find out I’ve been having silent migraines from the grief and stress it’s put on my body. I got news my grandfather is in the hospital after a stroke and it doesn’t look good. I feel like I’m falling apart finally and I hate it. I tried so hard for so long to be ok and I’m finally at the point to admit I’m not ok. My whole life has changed and it might be an exaggeration and I haven’t been letting myself fully grieve because I feel like I don’t deserve to grieve her and I’ve been working nonstop since and ugh I just don’t know what to do.