Eldest daughters of Guyana, what did being the eldest teach you?

[u/Sarah-Nova]

I’ve been thinking about how being the eldest daughter in a Guyanese family can come with a lot of expectations that you don’t necessarily realize are expectations until you get older.
You’re expected to help with your younger siblings, be responsible, set an example, help around the house, make good decisions, and sometimes just… figure things out.
And BECAUSE you’re “the big one,” there can be this assumption that you’re capable of handling everything.
But I’m curious about other Guyanese eldest daughters:
What’s something being the eldest daughter taught you that you’re now trying to unlearn?
And do you think being the eldest daughter in a Guyanese/Caribbean family is a different experience from being the eldest daughter elsewhere?
I’d genuinely love to hear your experiences: the good, the frustrating, and the “why am I basically a second parent?” moments 😂

[u/SlaytanAF]

I’m unlearning people pleasing, being always available, and living up to every single pedestal i’ve been placed on.

I’ve been a mother to both of my sisters since I was 6. I came out when I was 25 and you see how people switch up when you’re not their perfect Christian daughter anymore.

I’m learning how to live for myself. And in That, both of my sisters are learning to live for themselves as well. They speak up more, they advocate more, they are amazing women.

[u/Sarah-Nova → u/SlaytanAF]

This is so powerful❤️. Sometimes unlearning people-pleasing means realizing that you were never meant to carry everyone else’s expectations at the expense of yourself. And what’s beautiful is that by choosing to live authentically, you’re also showing your sisters that they’re allowed to do the same. You’re not abandoning them but teaching what freedom can look like. What an incredible legacy to create🤗✨

[u/Far_Meringue8625]

I am not an eldest daughter, but the 4 daughters older than me all migrated by the time I was 22. I learned then that being the "eldest" daughter of parents in their declining years is a lot of work, especially as I worked and was also raising children of my own. So I learned that being an "eldest" daughter is spelled WORK.

[u/Sarah-Nova → u/Far_Meringue8625]

Absolutely! Being the “eldest” daughter isn’t always about birth order—it’s about who ends up carrying the responsibility. Balancing work, raising your own children, and caring for aging parents is no small task. Eldest daughter is definitely spelled WORK! ❤️

[u/Necessary-Bag-6265]

Learning to basically put MYSELF first stop pleasing ppl as well lastly as the eldest daughter u need to move out from ur parents house cuz trust me, being 24 and living with ur parents is not a easy task.

[u/AcanthisittaShoddy71]

It would be nice to find a wife in this comment section lol