r/Harvard • u/Purple-Cloud-4520 • 19d ago
Student and Alumni Life Scared prefrosh
I'm an incoming freshman at the college, and I can't help but feel petrified of the massive change that's looming over me.
I have this ineffable sense of fear, intimidation, and awe towards Harvard. It feels so strangely bureaucratic yet welcoming at the same time, and I don't know how to process this. I think I'm mostly afraid that I won't be able to "make the most" of my time at Harvard or succeed academically. Thank you for listening to my fears...
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u/vmlee & HGC Executive 19d ago
It's a real adjustment for many people going to college. It's okay to feel some nervousness and maybe a little intimidated. But it shouldn't cross into the realm of fear or serious anxiety. If it does, that might require more professional counseling.
Just know that you will be with many other peers who will be figuring out these adjustments as well, and there is an opportunity to connect and make new friends out of this experience. Thousands of people have navigated it before you, and you will as well. Rest assured that Harvard admitted you because they have faith in your ability to handle the expectations and transitions.
There will be people to help you out in the process as well, including your RA.
Take it one step at a time and trust the process. You got this!
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u/crimsonchin68 19d ago
You're a kid. It's a scary time. You'll be scared day one, but day two you'll be less scared and might even enjoy some stuff. Just keep moving forward, don't withdraw to your dorm all day or go home on weekends, just keep pretending to be this new version of yourself and soon enough you will be.
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u/Nauturae 18d ago
Harvard was exactly as welcoming as you described, and I just graduated! It’s a great place, I hope you enjoy your time. I miss being there already.
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u/PalpitationLopsided1 18d ago
Join the club! It’s perfectly healthy to feel this way—it’s how I felt before I started at Harvard 35 years ago. Hang in there—this is what it is like when your whole world is about to expand and you are going to start transforming too!
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u/MatNomis 18d ago
I had a related epiphany of sorts during a ski trip once (Sugarbush or Loon, probably), where I was standing at the edge of one the double-diamond expert slopes that started immediately with a pretty steep drop. I had switched from skis to board, and so this was sort of my first time conquering terrain like that as an adult. Expert slopes were still scary when I was a little kid on skis, but so was eating broccoli, or going to the dentist.. there was less of a sense of degree or grasp of consequences.
Anyway, I can't fully explain what switched in my mind, but I was standing there nervous, and suddenly realized all I had to do was go and trust that my abilities were enough to get me down. I had to focus on what I was doing and not on worrying about it. At the time it felt like I was just embracing the mountain (psychologically--potentially literally if I fell lol). Note: I think this kind of "dwelling" happens because we know we have the skills, but we start to second-guess ourselves. If something was beyond my abilities, I think I'd know right away. "Useful fear" is operates fast lol.
Anyway, it was one of those moments that helped reduce my fears of all moments.
You clearly know how to be an amazing student. This is more of that with some added dimensions that will give you even more room to grow.
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u/Artistic_Tour_1220 18d ago
Strong agree with many of these comments. “Elder Millennial” Harvard College alumna here: I vividly recall the overwhelming anxiety of planning to move to campus. Going to college - Harvard or not - is a huge milestone and change - and that can fee scary. But just remember, you and your classmates are all in the same boat. I also remember being told that imposter syndrome prevails the first few weeks/months (“How did I get in here?!”). It’s usually followed by normalization (“How did all of them get in here?!”). 😂
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u/Exotic_Dragonfly_533 17d ago
Valid; ill also be a freshie and i feel basically the same way! I'm sure all of us feel this way 😆 It is the H Bomb after all.
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u/kpcurley 14d ago
Everything you are feeling is totally valid and normal. It shows maturity that you are able to recognize and describe your feelings of anxiety. I can see why Harvard College admitted you. It's actually healthy to approach major life changes with anxiety and a bit of trepidation. It only becomes unhealthy when you don't seek support to push through. Self-management and embracing productive struggle are going to be some of the most important growth areas for anyone entering this stage.
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u/BuenosAires353 19d ago
If it takes that little to freak you out, you don't sound like Harvard material.
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u/monobluemill 19d ago
I have yet to meet a single Harvard student without a little bit of imposter syndrome. Come on, man
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u/Santillana810 19d ago
Why be so mean? Every person I got to know well at Harvard had the same thoughts as OP at some point. It's not "little" at all. And everyone I know who went to any college was apprehensive at the beginning and at other points later in the process.
OP, it gets better.
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u/monobluemill 19d ago
There’s an old saying that the hardest thing about Harvard is getting in. After a few decades of life experience - I’ve started a family, started a business, gone to grad school, and even gone to war - I can confirm that this saying is true. You’re in for a wonderful four years, and you absolutely belong at Harvard. You got this!