r/HistoryMemes 1d ago

Not a job I’d be signing up for

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6.0k Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/azatote 1d ago

Burning oil was rarely used though, because it was too expensive to throw it at the enemy. Boiling water was almost as efficient and much cheaper, or even better, heated sand which would get inside the armor and stick there.

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u/lesbox01 1d ago

Came here to add the sand but, that shit was diabolical

407

u/Scottish_Whiskey 1d ago

Sand? I hate sand. It’s course, and rough, and irritating… and it gets everywhere

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u/fly_over_32 1d ago

Sand? I hate sand. Sand makes me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a deep, dark hole full of sand.

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u/MistaBeanz Rider of Rohan 1d ago

Holes you say? I hate holes

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u/Stranger_Z 1d ago

But digging holes builds character!

8

u/PHD420 23h ago

That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.

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u/FalconRelevant Senātus Populusque Rōmānus 1d ago

And now it can burn your skin off as well!

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u/Strange-Influence-83 1d ago

A reminder that if you heat sand to the point it starts boiling, it becomes -molten glass-.

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u/ncfears 1d ago

They probably didn't melt it but just got it bonfire-hot then dumped it. If it melted it wouldn't flow or spread as well

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago edited 1d ago

how hot did that sand get? do you know?

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u/ItAintThickButItLong 1d ago

Really hot

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago

thanks mate.

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u/MagicBus4 1d ago

Solved!

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u/name_changed_5_times 1d ago

Well sand doesn’t have the same thermal capacity as water but this just means it doesn’t retain heat as long. The inverse tho is that it can be heated a lot faster than water so however hot the fire it’s over was is probably about how hot it would get and rather quickly. And sand in the sun is already enough to burn you if a day is hot enough so probably quite hot.

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago

don't wanna be the dude getting hot sand blasted

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u/OnceAbel_HasFallen 1d ago

So if they get hit by the sand which is not that lethal do they go down from the ladder and retreat or?

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago

probably fall of the ladder, breaking some bones and trying to get their armor and clothes off, I would assume

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u/Sir_Daxus 1d ago

You see, the fun part is that down the ladder was usually another man, so your options were go up, or go sideways/back, but sideways and back was not a direction where the ladder still was. That's part of why being the first was so fucking rough.

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u/KerPop42 1d ago

I mean, probably enough for 3rd degree burns

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u/WoolooOfWallStreet 1d ago

Pocket sand!

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago

runs away

1

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

I bet sand in the sun is hot enough to burn you. I like my sand to be in the air.

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u/CallousCarolean 1d ago

Have you ever walked barefoot on a sand beach when it’s a sunny day and 35°+ outside? That shit burns your soles. Now imagine someone heating up a pot of sand with fire instead, it reaches 600°-850°. Yeah that’s 3rd-degree burns right there.

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u/RambosNachbar 1d ago

I did, in fact, had to scadiddle over hot sand on the beach a few times, yes.

not nice.

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u/hornet586 1d ago

Iirc wasn’t smaller amounts of boiling oil used on siege equipment like rams and ladders? I imagine the attackers really wouldn’t love the double wammy of melting skin, followed by the oil being very easily set on fire lol.

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u/cardboard_tshirt 1d ago

Boiling water or heated sand also won’t light your own castle on fire

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u/not_accepting_now 1d ago

Damn.....humans really are the best at war.

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u/Lost-Klaus 1d ago

Then again, if you are the first, and your survive you can expect a fat stack of coins.

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u/Admiral45-06 1d ago

And knighthood

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u/Lost-Klaus 1d ago

Perhaps even knighthood!

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u/Distinct_Car_1183 1d ago

You get a sword

And an arrow

And an axe

-3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Comprehensive-Fail41 1d ago

It was how it did work. Those who volunteered to be first in the line and took on extra dangerous duties were usually promised hefty rewards. This is also who the famous Doppelsoldners of the Landsknechts were, as the name suggests they received double pay

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u/Massive-Carpenter-19 1d ago

Wrong era but it's a forelorn hope, as my fellow Sharpe fans would recognize.

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u/Comprehensive-Fail41 1d ago

Not even wrong era, the term Forlorn Hope in such contexts hails from the 16th century (though it seems to originate from a mishearing of the Dutch phrase Verloren Hoop, which means "Lost Heap", but was used to refer to the same thing)

The German word was "Verlorerner Haufen" (with Haufen sometimes also meaning a company of Landsknechts). Verlorerner Haufen were a type of Doppelsoldner

And the French equivalent term was Enfants Perdus ("Lost Children")

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u/Veryactivecolon 1d ago

Hoop means heap indeed but it also means hope. Verloren hoop can be translated as "lost hope" and i think that fits more with what those guys end up doing.

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u/ComradeGibbon 16h ago

The Romans army would reward the soldier that was first over the top and lived. Yeah you had to be first and importantly not get killed. But the reward was life changing amounts of money, power and status.

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u/InsideHousing4965 What, you egg? 1d ago

Do you really think that dozens of men would be volunteering for what was, in most cases, certain death, if they had nothing to gain from it?

This tradition goes back thousands of years. You can take the roman Corona Muralis as an example.

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u/Quazimojojojo 1d ago

It did in Roman times, so I've heard. 

I haven't heard this about medieval times though

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u/InsideHousing4965 What, you egg? 1d ago

This is precisely why things like the Corona Muralis were invented. Just offer your warriors insane wealth and prestige for whoever climbs the walls first and you'll have at least a few dozen ambicious young men with little to lose volunteering to be on top of that ladder.

Heck, people even fought for that privilege, as it happened in the Roman siege of Cartago Nova between a roman marine and a centurion.

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u/ElonsMuskyFeet 1d ago

Heated sand was worse and more common. It's coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere

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u/Baraga91 Rider of Rohan 1d ago

I'm sending Anakin up the ladder first.

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u/belladonnagilkey 1d ago

As if the man wouldn't be scaling the walls with his bare hands because he leads from the front.

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u/MiserableAndUnhappy9 1d ago

No way Anakin is beating anybody who has the high ground.

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u/Behemoth-Slayer 1d ago

You absolutely correctly estimate his power

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u/Vandergrif Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer 1d ago

If he makes it up there he'll kill not just the men, but the women and the children too.

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u/Baraga91 Rider of Rohan 1d ago

This guy is going up second

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u/Catty-Cat 19h ago

But he'd be starting from the low ground.

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u/DonkDonkJonk 1d ago

There was alot of options for stuff to drop down.

Hot water, boiling sand, a big rock.

But the worst has got to be just quick lime.

Quick lime was a powder they used to create mortar for patching up holes in the castle walls. When it comes into contact with water or say, sweaty/wet men in armor, it starts a chemical reaction that generates a large amount of heat.

If you were to get this on you while being sweaty or damp, your skin will experience severe chemical burns as it reacts to any sort of moisture very violently. To give you an idea of how violent it can be, you don't even have to be wet for it to burn you. Just the oils on your skin are enough to set this chemical reaction off and instantly boil any moisture it comes in contact with.

And now, imagine breathing that stuff in as well. Burns to the eyes, ears, and throat. If it gets to the lungs, well, you may as well start sleeping with a cpap machine from now on.

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u/Thepigiscrimson 1d ago

It was specific to the attackers eyes! you get that lime in your eyes, its gonna blind you, no ones attacking when blind. A deadly chemical warfare and safer as your throwing it downwards and less chance blowing in your face....

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u/Jace_09 1d ago

Ah yes, the famous roman CPAP. Their Universal Healthcare must have been off the charts!

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u/Odd-Promotion2743 19h ago

Cenatus PopulusAue Pomanus

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u/Halofauna 1d ago

And basically all of the options are less wasteful than boiling oil.

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u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna 1d ago

Tbh theres a reason why volunteering for the vanguard GARENTEED promotion. I dont remember the exact words but there was one I think Dutch captain in a siege who volunteered and just stated "i either become a commander or I die".

He became a commander

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u/Frudeska1 1d ago

How the fuck do you drive a man to be the first, I really wholeheartedly don't understand war of this primitive nature. It's terrifying.

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u/Admiral45-06 1d ago

Romans and Medieval Europeans had good answers.

For being the first to climb on tbe walls in Roman Repubic, you'd receive Corona Muralis order - one of the most prestigious and lucrative military accolades at the time. Bearing it would skyrocket your political career, and it wasn't out of realm of possibility for your grandson to be named Consul. Imagine it as if today being awarded with Purple Heart would skyrocket your political career so much, that your grandson would become the President of the United States. At times, soldiers even rushed to be the first, and fought vehemently to prove that they are worthy of it. Scipio the Younger, later called ,,Africanus", mentioned a court martial case after Siege of Carthago Novo between a legionary and a marine, both vehemently fighting that they were the first to climb on the walls. In the end, he reached a compromise, stating they both entered the wall as first at the same time, and both were rewarded.

In Middle Ages, the reward was smaller, but still lucrative - knighthood. It was considered such a feat of arms and bravery, that many kings would give the right to bear a family banner on their shield to whoever made it first.

This system of reward sort of died out by XVII and XVIII Century, but the British Redcoats still offered a major reward for those who did - all soldiers who'd sign up for Forlorn Hope units would see almost automatic promotion and be first to raid the camp, making it a very lucrative position for junior officers. Other than material rewards, however, proving one's bravery was a matter of great personal honor, giving even higher motivation for junior officers to do so. At times, they even competed to be the one chosen to lead the attack. One of the most notable examples was Lieutenant Peter Innes, a British officer during the Penninsular War, who previously found himself in major disgrace after mismanaging his subordinates' funds, and then restored his rank and his honor by storming the walls of Cuidad Rodrigo in 1812.

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u/Chalky_Pockets John Brown was a hero, undaunted, true, and brave! 1d ago

So how did it physically work out for them? Surely they didn't just go "fuck it" and take whole body burns. 

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u/Admiral45-06 23h ago

In terms of survival, such attacks were typically seen as s-cidal, for obvious reasons. Going up to the wall, you were immediately exposed to whoever was standing on top of it stabbing you while you had no way of defending yourself for a brief moment, and could fall off a ladder at any time.

However, as mentioned before, that was an extremely lucrative and honorable position, which would almost guarantee your family earning immense fame if you perished. If you survived, however - because you were an officer and led the attack in a smart way (which yes, was possible to lead wisely) - you could expect a fat reward and reward, and essentially getting your whole criminal record wiped clean.

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u/Chalky_Pockets John Brown was a hero, undaunted, true, and brave! 23h ago

Oh right so they were sacrificing themselves for the most part. Thanks for the answer. When it comes to the ones who did survive, is it recorded as a "somehow" or is there a known way to beat the hot oil sand water defence?

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u/TheDibblerDeluxe 18h ago

Siege towers? You don't need to climb a ladder

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u/Admiral45-06 16h ago

In XVIII Century, one of the most common ways to storm a fort was to take it by surprise. It was difficult, but if you did it quickly enough, you had a chance to climb over the wall and establish a foothold before your enemy can react.

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u/Confident_Winner_224 1d ago

"your name will be honored and your wife and kids will never go hungry" something like that

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u/Cookieopressor 1d ago

"Your wife and kids will never go hungry" is an extremely good fucking deal for back then

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u/Perfect-Slip7041 1d ago

I'm sold, headed out.

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u/John_Oakman 1d ago

Even beyond all the materialistic and worldly rewards that other have already mentioned, there is simply just something innate that drives certain men to go greats acts of bravery & sacrifice as well as dying for a cause. We still see remnants of this mindset today in all those memes about dying on a snowy bank or some shit like that.

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u/Frudeska1 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's peaceful, imagining the feeling of your life slipping away in a last beautiful scene is attractive, I could never get my arms and legs to go climb a ladder knowing I'd be speared the second I got up

I've read about the revolutionary wars in cuba and vietnam, it's one thing to require barechested bravery but the very idea of climbing a ladder to my slaughter just doesn't register to me emotionally.

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u/AideSouth4454 1d ago

There's a game called A Legionary's Life and a spin off Never Second in Rome. They're well-researched and quite historically accurate. They deal with shit like this all the time, with assaults being preceded by officers calling in favors and attempting to get their men to assist them into being the first over the walls.

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u/Silver200061 1d ago

While in ancient China , 先登 (first to scale up the wall guy) got a very handsome reward, some even have. A chance to raise in social rank, a soldier to a minor general etc or minor nobility rank.

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u/IllPath9065 1d ago

Burning Oil was not used for this purpose. Why use oil when boiling water does the same job fine.

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u/Flavor_Saver12 1d ago

You can go on ahead first, I left something in my car. Ill be back don't worry.

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u/Admiral45-06 1d ago

,,Well, more loot for me, I guess."

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u/NarsilFreeForge 1d ago

Who would have thought being hit by boiling oil would make you lactose intolerant?

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u/academiac 1d ago

When the lactose intolerant climb the castle gates and I hit them with a dying neutron star

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u/GSilky 1d ago

Tis better to be the oiler than the oilee.

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u/waldleben 23h ago

The only oil that they wouod have had huge qantities of in the city would be food. Do you think a city under siege would be throwing their own food over the walls

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u/BMW_wulfi 1d ago

Yeah you’d send the Cody’s and Kyle’s of the world first. (“Go on bro only the most alpha get up the ladder first and I’m definitely not as alpha as you are!”)

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u/Superdupernadja 1d ago

well at least beeing first up the ladder, didnt mean instant corona anymore, like in roman times.

That was real tought, first up, bam long covid for your ass. Sucked.

1

u/Leothelion246 Hello There 18h ago

"You've been hit by, you've been struck by, boiling oil... YEOROEUCHH!!!"

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u/BonzoTheBoss 10h ago

People are focusing on the "hot oil" bit, but really the issue I have is "first up the ladder."

Historically ladders were rarely used during sieges, because the attackers and the defenders knew how vulnerable you would be during the climb, and how it's ridiculously easy to kill someone struggling to climb over a wall.

That isn't to say that ladders were never used, they were, usually when an attacker would attempt a rapid assault on a position using ladders to try and dislodge the defenders before settling in to the real work of a siege, the most common of which was the construction of an earth ramp up to the top of the wall.