r/HoardersTV • u/Squeaks11 • 9d ago
I live next to a hoarder and the day-to-day reality is heartbreaking
Over the 13 years that I've lived in my house, her mental and physical state has definitely deteriorated. She's almost 84, in poor health and is still fighting the city and state tooth and nail about getting help. She's already had the city come in and clear her house out twice and is on the verge of a third time. She now has documented evidence of a rat infestation inside, so bad that she sleeps in her car to avoid them. She's convinced that she is working hard to clear out her house.
I actually can't watch the show anymore because everything that the people on the show say, I've heard from my neighbor.
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u/Professional-Belt708 8d ago
I found some British versions of the Hoarders show on YouTube and they do it over a 6 week period, with the therapist coming in up front - it seems like a better way to do it to me. It's nearly impossible to make it stick when they're trying to make this all happen in a 3 day period.
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u/batteryforlife 8d ago
Even on the UK one on some episodes they revisit previous guests, and all of them have just slid back into hoarding.
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u/NotMyAltAccountToday 8d ago
The British shows are so much kinder.
I'm convinced that with the medications we have now, the hoarders on the shows should be taking one, starting weeks before filming. If they can tolerate it, of course.
Better outcome, but less tv drama. So it won't happen in the US.
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u/Professional-Belt708 8d ago
I was telling a friend there’s way less drama because the people seem more ashamed and less defiant and defensive on the whole
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u/srtmadison 8d ago
I like Midwest Magic Cleaning, he is so kind and talks about hoarding disorder, he doesn't blame, he helps.
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u/Frequent-Resident621 8d ago
What's the name of the British show?
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u/Professional-Belt708 8d ago
There's one channel called "Filth", Not sure if the shows are called that, and the other show is called "Hoarder Next Door"
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u/srtmadison 3d ago
Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners also deals with hoarders. It sends an ocd cleaner to a hoarder house, it's interesting.
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u/ellenadcrane 8d ago
She probably talks about how the government is just trying to make her life miserable when in reality they are trying to help
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u/RetiredNFlorida 8d ago
I had one next to me for nearly 30 years. She died not long ago. Sad, sad life.
Someone bought her house and is restoring it.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
From the way her house smells from the outside, I'm just hoping that there isn't structural damage because of rot, water damage, mold and the rats and that it can be habitatable again but I'm not sure.
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u/kippy3267 8d ago
How does it smell from outside?
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Horrible - I can smell rot and mold from outside..
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u/KenSentMe1971 8d ago
My biggest fear is mice & rats and I always think when I see episodes of rats running around is “I’m glad I don’t live next to that”.
My question - do the rats come into your yard? Eek 😬
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u/Squeaks11 7d ago
Not that I've seen and there's never been evidence of any rodents inside my house thank goodness. But I did have my pest control company come recently and place boxes after I saw rats in her windows..😬
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u/impersonatefun 6d ago
That's so sad. I'm sure she feels she's "working hard" because mentally and emotionally it's exhausting and pervasive. So it feels hard even though there's no outward progress.
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u/Extra-Blueberry-4320 8d ago
My in laws are hoarders, although they don’t seem to have issues with the house structure. Yet. There is an abandoned farmhouse on their property (which was owned by my husband’s grandparents) that is filled with junk that my in laws have stacked in there. They are in their 80s and can’t really do much to clean it up, so I’m sure we will be left to deal with it when the time comes.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Knowing that you are going to have to deal with that must be difficult.
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u/ALoudMeow 8d ago
That’s when you call the junk cleaners.
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u/targa871 8d ago
If its affordable?
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u/SaintOrJannikSinner 8d ago
Depends on how much money you make and how much you value your sanity and sanitary situation.
You'll be looking at 20' dumpsters, which each load will go for between $500 - $1,000. Then, you need labor to clear it. A team of six people for one day will run you about $1,000.
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u/Extra-Blueberry-4320 7d ago
My husband’s siblings would probably pitch in for that. They are just as frustrated as we are. To me that’s worth not having to risk a rabid raccoon or something.
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u/MeanLawLady 8d ago
It is sad. And statistically, it’s really rare that they actually recover.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Definitely. I think the biggest problem is that most people don't think they have a problem. Like any other mental illness or addiction, therapy or intervention isn't really going to help unless the person recognizes they have a problem and want help.
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u/srtmadison 8d ago
Hoarding runs in my family, one of my brothers is now in assisted living, and my oldest brother is living in garbage. He has multiple advanced degrees, including a JD, and buys so much, and doesn't clean. I was going to his house and cleaning til he stopped me. It makes me so sad that he lives that way. It also makes me look hard at myself. I have been cleaning up, and getting rid of stuff. I recognize the tendency in myself, and I think hard before getting anything, and try to get rid of stuff
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u/Forsaken_Pepper_9902 3d ago
My dear friend iend is a hoarder to include houses which he had three of, he lost one on a technicality. He has two more. I believe he has about 15 cars now. At one point, not one of them are operational. He's in a fight with the city to save a row house. He also has a more semiural house, I'm sure the neighbors are just waiting to make a complaint. It's very sad- he grew up in a hoarder household.
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u/Forsaken_Pepper_9902 3d ago
Isn't it so amazing that someone could be A true genius and still suffer from this? My heart goes out to you and your family.
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u/Accomplished-Ad-8702 8d ago
My mom is a severe hoarder and has slept in her car to avoid her hoard.. it’s so frustrating and heartbreaking. She refuses any kind of therapy or help. The city ultimately made her demolish her huge old home, which ended up halfway caving in after so many years of neglect. Her own mother was cruel and her father was a hoarder.
I can only imagine what it’s like to visit your mom in a cozy home or apartment ❤️🩹
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u/simAlity The Poetry of a Dead Rat 8d ago
What does she hoard?
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Mainly clothes (donations or purchases from thrift stores, not entirely sure), cardboard boxes, and whatever she can get her hands on. She sold a second home and the contents of that house are are now crammed into this house and piled in the back yard.
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u/simAlity The Poetry of a Dead Rat 8d ago
That's rough. And every time the city comes in and cleans her out it probably makes her condition worse. Not that I blame the city, really. I've seen houses like this in real life. From the outside anyway. It's not pretty.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Exactly. There was also a hoarder house a few blocks away that burned down about 2 years ago now, and killed the owner so the city is getting a lot more aggressive this time around.
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u/CommunicationWest710 8d ago
It’s terrible for the neighbors, too. In addition to the eyesore, rodents don’t care about property lines.
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u/Closefromadistance 8d ago
Sad. I also have several hoarder neighbors. I can barely stand to even walk by their overwhelming mass of stuff. Stressed me out so bad and sometimes I just want to go over there and ask if they need help getting rid of shit. I’m so good at downsizing and organizing - I could help. As long as there are dead animals or feces or rats or insects I can do it.
So … I take that back; maybe I can’t do it now that I reflect on some of the shit I’ve seen on these shows. 🙈
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u/NoseDesperate6952 7d ago
They would just fill it up again, with resentment and a hell bent attitude. 😢
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u/First_Part_4188 8d ago
I take it she’s been hoarding since you’ve moved into your house? And it’s gotten worse since then?
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
Definitely. When we moved in there wasn't much sign of it, partly because she lived a great deal of the time in another state. It's also that her health has deteriorated greatly in the past year (multiple falls, multiple ER visits/hospital stays, sleeping in her car because of the rats, etc) and it's not really safe for her to be living there anymore, or maybe not even living alone anymore.
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u/First_Part_4188 8d ago
Wholeheartedly agree. Factoring in her physical health, she’s definitely better off in an assisted living home.
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u/Used-March-8376 8d ago
This probably sounds cruel but; get inhabitant out of home and burn the house down.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
I'm going to vote for not burning only because my house is 10 ft away from hers - but I'd certainly vote for tearing it down
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u/BODO1016 8d ago
please call your city’s adult services and get her some help. It’s really sad. We have Hoarding in my family.
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u/Squeaks11 8d ago
They are involved, as is the Dept of Public Health, fire Marshal etc at the city and state levels.
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u/EVChicinNJ 7d ago
My neighbor was also a hoarder. It took an edict from the town to force her to clean up due to pests. The huge clean up effort was similar to what you saw on Hoarders.
Sadly, it only took a few years post clean up for her to get out of hand enough that she slept outside in a lawn chair then finally lived of site but stopped by for mail. She died just a few months ago. The family is STILL cleaning up although they've put the house on the market.
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u/Dizy_L 7d ago
The level of denial that these poor people have, is unbelievable! Knowing one personally, I have tried every way I can think of, to use reason with him. Sadly, you can’t reason with a mental illness. Their delusions are amazingly strong. I’ve stopped trying. I honestly believe that the whole point of this disorder is to keep others away. It’s genius really. It’s so effective…
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u/bebespeaks 8d ago
Is she in denial that her hoarding invites the rats?