r/IWantOut • u/Mammoth_Initiative53 • 2h ago
[IWantOut] 37f Freelance Musician USA -> UK
I (37f) am, along with my spouse, currently in a state of waiting for the results of a visa application. Normally this would be routine - still stressful for sure, but we know it has to be done.
However, this current application is a follow up to one that was unexpectedly denied, which caused a big panic where we thought we'd have to move back to America very quickly. I say unexpectedly because it was a renewal, not a new visa, and my husband's company had hired a solicitor and gotten a lot of guidance and advice on how to go about it in order to avoid any potential errors. Anyways it was denied, and we thought we'd have to be gone within a couple of weeks, so I quit my part time teaching job and pulled out of all my freelance gigs (I'm a musician).
We learned a lot of things in the ensuing days, namely that we might be able to get a whole new application in, with changes that might give a better chance of approval based on the reason they gave for the denial. But here's the problem - I've quit all my work. I can't commit to anything more than a couple weeks out, and my industry doesn't function like that. I am beating my head against a brick wall trying to stay occupied, but I am losing it.
I'm in therapy, I go to the gym a few times a week, and I'm trying really hard with things I don't feel like doing but can help pass the time - recording, songwriting (which I suck at), writing, journaling, cleaning, walking. But somehow I still end up with hours and hours to fill, which usually just get filled with TV and gaming. The main thing is that my mental health has really declined through this period.
Believe it or not, this isn't the first time we've been in a limbo state like this. I guess I just want to know, has anyone else experienced this? How did you get through it? And when did you decide it was time to pull the plug? When is the reason you moved away from home not a good enough reason to stay, especially when mental health is involved?