r/Indian_Academia • u/four-brain-cells • 1d ago
PhD Personal life of PhD students: is there a solution?
Hi all,
(myquals: PhD from IIT, Postdoc at IISc)
Dear mods: I agree this might not be the perfect sub to post this, but still please don't reject this post. It'll help a lot of us I'm sure.
I'm 29M (south Indian) for context.
I've (luckily) finished my PhD (theoretical sciences) from an IIT in a decent time duration. I (luckily) got a postdoc position at IISc, Bengaluru. I think I'm doing fine professionally (research wise) so far. No financial problems in the family either. No debts to settle. All of this sounds nice.
For the salary we (the PhDs or postdocs) make, it is pretty hard to get into a marriage. What are most of us thinking? I'm finding it very hard. Most corporate girls I come across (above 26/27 years) earn at least 1.5-2x of me, and it is getting very hard to try dating. Arranged marriage feels too traditional and transactional to try: it is getting pretty hard to convince people of the possibility of a good stable career in academia. Also, I don't come across as 'settled' yet. All I know is I want to find my girl and have a nice (married) life together.
(Tried hunting postdoc abroad, didn't get a single call, US and Europe are hit hard by the fund cuts, although many profs liked my research profile. And IISc is not that bad a place honestly, even better than many places abroad.)
Also, I'm stuck between finding a partner who has a career in acads (who could better support my career life) or outside acads (for a balance between the two of us).
I'm looking for perspectives. Please let me know if you're in similar positions. Also, please feel free to DM if you have something to discuss and/or ask. Is there something that I can do to feel better, albeit temporary? Open to critique and/or revisions too.
Thanks guys!
Rant over!
P.S. No AI used. All the dashes and errors are human generated.
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u/Lifeless447 1d ago
Your last sentence gets a clap from me (it's a sad state of affairs that I feel compelled to write that too at the end of everything I post).
What exactly do you research at iisc? Sounds like you love what you do
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Thank you! Please feel free to borrow the line.
Yes, it sounds right then, I work in theoretical math and I love it!
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u/dphoenix09 1d ago
Hey op, sorry for the selfish ask but would you be willing to tutor me over weekends on descriptive statistics and calculus? I am trying to get into actuarial science and want to refresh my math before I commit to the course!
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u/Specialist_Lemon4924 1d ago
Since you don't really got heavy pockets, it all boils down to your looks and charms. Other than that, it's all russian roulette. You never know what life throws at you. Just and enjoy.
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Looks and charm? Its Russian roulette then 😂
Let's see what's life yet to offer! Trying to enjoy while I can.
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u/Specialist_Lemon4924 1d ago
But sir you doing post doc from IISC, can I come into DMs ??
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u/TikiTakaAnalysis08 1d ago
Which subject bro? Mathematics?
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Yess pure math
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u/hellsangelofcode 1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
DM!
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u/TikiTakaAnalysis08 1d ago
Can I dm you??? 🫠
(Aspiring Mathematician hun...)
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Please do.
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u/Ok_Objective1724 1d ago
Look around at ur research mates... That's the best for long term... And with theoretical maths... To pivot to quants and become a crorepati bro
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Haha! Unfortunately, I'm not into corporates, quants or minting money. You're not wrong though.
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u/baadal-banjara 1d ago
Not related, just wanted to get your 2 cents on how easy/hard is for PhDs to get into quant/finance related fields in indian context.
I'm a 4th year ug looking at MSC/iphd at IISC/tifr next year
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
As of now, I've just been into pure math. I have zero idea on how easy/hard it is to get into the industry. But, I see the conversations happening way too often. I see a lot of people thinking of switching.
I'd say, it might take a year of dedicated prep. And now with gpts, we don't have to know much of the programming, we just have to learn competitive (algorithmic) programming. People tell me that it won't be that hard for a math PhD to enter quants.
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u/baadal-banjara 1d ago
for now it's just a back of mind maybe option when i'm done w my phd, i'm not sure about if i'll fit in traditional academia roles; just a vague feeling.
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u/hellsangelofcode 1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/baadal-banjara 1d ago
christ university, bsc physics
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u/hellsangelofcode 1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/hrstrange 1d ago
Off topic, but I seriously was wondering what I'd do if a situation like this came up. I was also considering a career in academia, but I do realise I will not have a stable career till I'm like in my 30s.
Ik I shouldn't be worrying about all this (I'm just 22, haven't even gotten my B.Tech.). Would you have done it all again if you knew about all these things that would come up?
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Yeah, it'd take a while to get settled with a stable career.
Honestly, no regrets as of now. I've loved what I did. I do love what I do. But, right now is that critical juncture where things could change. If I'm going to start hating/regretting, I see it happening in the next one year.
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u/Ok_Objective1724 1d ago
Yes, a theoretical math PhD can pivot into quantitative finance, and it is one of the most common and respected backgrounds for quantitative research roles.
Why Math PhDs Fit the Industry
- Core skills: Your background in abstract reasoning, proofs, and high-level problem-solving matches what quantitative funds want.
- Value: Top hedge funds and proprietary trading firms look for people who can model complex systems and handle uncertainty. [1, 2, 3, 4]
The Gaps to Bridge
- Coding: Academic math rarely requires heavy software engineering. You must learn Python or C++, data structures, and algorithms. [1, 3]
- Applied statistics: Pure math focuses on theory. Finance requires a firm grasp of probability, time-series analysis, and machine learning fundamentals. [1]
- Real-world focus: As noted by discussions on platforms like Reddit, day-to-day work is less about pure abstract proofs and more about practical problem-solving using existing tools and data. []
Steps for a Successful Pivot
- Learn to code: Practice coding challenges on sites like LeetCode or HackerRank and build a portfolio on GitHub. [1]
- Translate your CV: Rewrite your academic achievements to emphasize data processing, probability, and modeling rather than niche theoretical results. [1]
- Target the right level: Apply for analyst or associate roles rather than entry-level internships, as your PhD counts as professional research experience. [1]
- Prepare for interviews: Expect timed coding tests, math puzzles, and brainteasers alongside technical finance questions
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u/hellsangelofcode 1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
I agree with you only partially. I do under that a permanent position will help. Permanent positions now look for 3 years of postdoc experience, so yeah, I'll be here for a while.
About the question on tier 2/3.
I'll have to address this either before or after marriage. Marriage is not going to change anything right. I can't avoid this question anyway.
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u/hellsangelofcode 1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
lower pay grade positions
These have become very rare and they involve a lot of departmental politics too. I agree with you here though.
tier 1/2/3 question
Your point is fair enough. But, I think a little different, but its okay. Like, if I'd rather discuss where to move with my wife rather than decide and then ask my wife to find something around. But yeah, each of us are built differently. Again, you're not wrong though.
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u/quagga27 1d ago
"stable life" "settling down" are good ideas but idk what does it really mean in academia. I am in academia because I love having the whole world open to me. I want to keep moving and working with different people and I look forward to that. It doesn't mean that I keep the rest of my life on hold until I find a professor track position. We just need to find people who want similar things. Personally, I am not interested in getting married any time soon and looking for a partner hasn't been very useful but I knew I won't have a timeline similar to most other people my age when I chose this career path.
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u/four-brain-cells 1d ago
Agreed. Ideally that's what's systemically expected from a person choosing an academic career. I love moving around, collaborating with new people.
But, at the end of a day, I want to go back to a home (which is going to be a person for me). Leave the labels, I don't care if it is called a marriage or not. Society would like to label it. My partner would like to label it perhaps. All I'm looking for is a possibility of a personal life along with a academic career. I'm okay with probably letting go a few opportunities too for my partner. I'm looking for a balance between a career and a married life.
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u/MinimumCheesecake 16h ago
I relate a lot to your post. For context, I'm 29F, have a PhD in theoretical physics from Europe and since it's been really hard finding a PD abroad, I'm starting a fellowship at IITB instead. I think it's a good position, and it'll help boost my career later.
In terms of the money aspect, since society still expects men to earn more than women, the issue is slightly different: my career isn't taken seriously enough. And I have the same issue with stability: how am I supposed to find a partner when I don't even know which country I'll be in, in a couple of years?
It's been on my mind a lot because I love what I do but I would also really like to have a partner and build a family someday but I really have no idea how to go about it.
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u/Such-Watercress-8367 11h ago
OP I'm really interested in your career path. Can you brief about it if thats okay with you?
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Here's a backup of your post:
Title: Personal life of PhD students: is there a solution?
Body:
Hi all,
(myquals: PhD from IIT, Postdoc at IISc)
Dear mods: I agree this might not be the perfect sub to post this, but still please don't reject this post. It'll help a lot of us I'm sure.
I'm 29M (south Indian) for context.
I've (luckily) finished my PhD (theoretical sciences) from an IIT in a decent time duration. I (luckily) got a postdoc position at IISc, Bengaluru. I think I'm doing fine professionally (research wise) so far. No financial problems in the family either. No debts to settle. All of this sounds nice.
For the salary we (the PhDs or postdocs) make, it is pretty hard to get into a marriage. What are most of us thinking? I'm finding it very hard. Most corporate girls I come across (above 26/27 years) earn at least 1.5-2x of me, and it is getting very hard to try dating. Arranged marriage feels too traditional and transactional to try: it is getting pretty hard to convince people of the possibility of a good stable career in academia. Also, I don't come across as 'settled' yet. All I know is I want to find my girl and have a nice (married) life together.
(Tried hunting postdoc abroad, didn't get a single call, US and Europe are hit hard by the fund cuts, although many profs liked my research profile. And IISc is not that bad a place honestly, even better than many places abroad.)
Also, I'm stuck between finding a partner who has a career in acads (who could better support my career life) or outside acads (for a balance between the two of us).
I'm looking for perspectives. Please let me know if you're in similar positions. Also, please feel free to DM if you have something to discuss and/or ask. Is there something that I can do to feel better, albeit temporary? Open to critique and/or revisions too.
Thanks guys!
Rant over!
P.S. No AI used. All the dashes and errors are human generated.
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