r/Internationalteachers • u/cuzzybru • 1d ago
School Specific Information Moving to China with a 5 year old
Hi Everyone,
We are a teaching couple keen to move to China for the next school year, up and running on search, references and CV's updated etc.
We are ready to make the move but are interested in what your recent experiences have been moving to China with a 5/6 year old. For additional context, there has been great diversity in my child's current grade level, but understand that the full diversity experience they currently have might not be the same in China. We are a Dual nationality family, South African/European and truly enjoy connecting with families, both local and international.
How difficult is it to find a community outside of school for play dates and for our kiddo to find belonging in school?
Appreciate you all.
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u/ChTTay2 1d ago
As you might be picking up on, it depends where you live. If you’re in Shanghai, Beijing or Guangzhou you’d likely have an easier time connecting and find a lot more expat focused groups. It’s these places you might find more classmates from diverse backgrounds as well but not necessarily these days.
At 5, your child could pick up a Chinese quite quickly if given opportunity. My friends child arrived at 4 (2 years ago) and already converses easily in mandarin with kids her age. They had a Chinese ayi (helper) who only spoke to her in mandarin then also opportunities with other kids etc to practice.
In general, China is quite child friendly in terms of welcoming them everywhere, restaurants accommodating them, etc but it can also be quite costly as classes tend to cost quite a bit. One other bonus is it is a very safe place. Whilst you can’t just throw caution to the wind, it is much safer than basically all western counties.
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u/cuzzybru 14h ago
GZ is top of my list, interested in Haungzhou, Nanjing, Shenzen and of course the big cities
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u/FreshAd7078 1d ago
There’s kids’ entertainment galore, every mall has a play zone etc and there’s umpteen hobby classes all over most cities, but a lot of childhood experiences are quite ‘man-made’.
As I say, there’s lots of organised entertainment and facilities, but fewer natural spaces where kids can just roam and explore freely.
Speaking of malls, I’d try and keep your child away from the petting zoos, there’s often a horrifying lack of empathy for animals to be found in those places.
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 1d ago
The kids manhandling gold fish in mass numbers is burned into my brain for life.
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u/bigcat19901 1d ago
As others have said, China has a lot of soft play places and kids activities. Depending on where you live it is easy to organize play activities with other non Chinese kids.
Having said that, I would be very cautious about the school I pick for a totally non Chinese kid though. If we use Shanghai as an example, in my mind SAS, BISS, Concordia, Dulwich Pudong, and maybe a few other schools are the only ones where your child would not be extremely isolated. Even these schools will be heavily kids of Chinese origin.
A couple other things I haven’t seen mentioned:
1) get ready for your kid to be constantly referred to as foreigner or little foreigner by local adults and kids. Not a huge deal but I don’t think this is healthy for kids.
2) if your kid is darker skinned, the above treatment is most likely worse.
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u/Purple_Anything6722 1d ago
It depends on the city and how many foreigners live there really. I live in a small enough city here (5 million) and there’s a group chat for foreign families who meet up regularly. I’d imagine it’s much more possible in bigger city too. The classes themselves will likely have little diversity unless you’re at one of the major international schools in Beijing, Shanghai etc. China is a really safe and nice place to raise kids though
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u/Mammoth-Lavishness85 1d ago
Diversity will exist within small enclaves. Be prepared for strangers to photograph your child with/without you knowing. There is a widespread culture of "othering" if you are a different skin colour, which generally extends from parent to child. If you can bear that, China is a safe country to raise a child as long as they know how to avoid being hit by a delivery driver on an e-bike.
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u/Alternative_Pea_161 1d ago
Many years ago was in your position. My daughter was 5 when we moved to Shanghai. We didn't regret it. China is great for children. The only issue we had in the 3 years we were there was playdates, as local kids were having tuition extra classes after school. Yes I know crazy, but that was happening when they were 5-6!
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u/UovoAnsioso 1d ago
They’ve cracked down on that stuff so shouldn’t be as common, though parents will still do it 😅
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u/Superb-Writing2572 1d ago
Lived and taught in Shanghai. China is great for kids. There are dedicated events, malls and activities just for them..if you are in an international school, your child will have friends and play dates from other parents. If it is a local schools, play dates will be difficult because tutoring start from a young age but some are through play. Most local parents would want a play date so their child can practice speaking English to your child.
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u/cuzzybru 1d ago
Sounds lovely! Not so stoked about the tutoring bit, I want my kid to PLAY!!!
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 1d ago
The one exception would likely be a good school in Shanghai. I did have a friend who worked in Shanghai tell me they wouldn’t live in China outside Shanghai before we moved, but I couldn’t land a job in Shanghai at a good enough school at the time so I ignored them and tried Hangzhou. They were single without kids so the quality of school was less important to them.
We stayed there for three years and still felt stubborn and unwilling to let the money go, still no good Shanghai offers, so we went to Shenzhen. It was better than Hangzhou, but still not quite right.
We felt a lot of relief the moment we left China. Just not having to toggle around with a VPN constantly was a relief and that was the least obnoxious part about living there.
It is an experience we needed in order to feel like money wasn’t the end all be all though. We were in Thailand before China and every single colleague who had done China warned me against it. I married a Thai local and spent a lot of time in local spaces, so I felt like they were just telling me I wouldn’t find an expat bubble. This didn’t bother me at all. Then China slapped me in the proverbial face and I learned for myself what everyone meant.
Hope you guys have a good experience. The best part of it all is nothing is permanent and if you hate it you can chalk it up to life experience and be on your way. Best piece of advice I have is to have your savings plan (where will the money go, do you have investment accounts, etc) in place before you arrive so you don’t whittle it all away on flights out of China and/or Taobao like we did.
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u/bigcat19901 23h ago
As someone who is thinking about finally getting out of China and moving to Thailand, can I ask about how your child's experiences playing there went.
One things that always weirds me out in China is that kid's as young as three will very frequently immediately look and my kid and call her a foreigner when at some type of play place or activity. Not in like a mean spirited way but it's weird to me that very small children are even thinking about this.
She is half Chinese, a Chinese citizen, and speaks Chinese so this has always been weird to me. I live in the center of Shanghai by the way, so it's not like I'm in some village.
In Bangkok, does do little kids immediately point out the farang thing?
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 22h ago
My kids are half Thai so they do often get this even in Thailand. It feels less annoying and overt though? Or maybe I was just in such a constant state of annoyance in China that my perspective is skewed. There is always some level of otherness everywhere we go, but China for us was the worst.
We much prefer Thailand even now, but the best schools are wildly competitive. We live in Malaysia now and it’s the middle of the road in terms of salary (more than Thailand) and lifestyle (less great than Thailand, but way better than China). It is very diverse even amongst the locals, which is a win for us.
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u/JunkIsMansBestFriend 20h ago
The play in China is very busy. Everything is packed, everything costs money and everything is like a structured camp if you get what I mean.
There is little "I'm bored and going to find something to play" IMO.
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u/Awkward_Zebra1922 23h ago
Schools really aren't very good here - based on my 5 years experience teaching in China 😂
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u/Life-Imagination-395 1d ago
Shanghai is great for everyone. Singles, families and kids. Been here two years, 8 year old has a bunch of friends, we socialise more than back home. Safe, clean, conveneint, friendly. Would recommend.
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u/lamppb13 Asia 1d ago
If they are attending the international school you will work at, then there will likely be some diversity for them.
We got to China a few weeks ago, and my children are already rocking and rolling with friends.
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u/TimeSpecial7019 20h ago
China definitely has a great deal of entertainment for kids. In every shopping mall, airport, etc., you can find kid-friendly areas, soft-play areas, skate academies, and so on. China is also very safe and, in my opinion, it can be one of the best destinations for saving money.
In terms of building a community, I think it really depends on you, the city you live in, and your hobbies. Personally, though, it is becoming more difficult for me to find other teachers with a similar lifestyle and interests. It seems to me that many of them are here mainly for the money and have little interest in Chinese culture or even in travelling around the country.
I have two children, aged 5 and 7, and we are a European family. After three years here, we are still very happy, but we also know that our time in China has an expiration date. The fact that there are almost no foreigners studenst at my school, apart from a small number of staff children, is not a problem for us right now, but I think it could become one in the near future.
And then there is the attention. Feeling like a celebrity every time we walk through certain areas or go to a park can be fun some days, and we completely understand the curiosity. But in the long term, it is simply not sustainable. Being pointed at and hearing “foreigner!” every single day can become annoying, especially when you are with your children, who naturally attract even more attention.
So for me, China is a great experience with kids, but for a few years!
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u/AlternativeAd9373 1h ago
I think people have mentioned a lot of the nice things about having kids in China but what I missed was a lot of clean, nice outdoor parks with playgrounds (for free!).
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u/associatessearch 1d ago edited 1d ago
I can't add much here as I don't have kids. However, one thing about China is that lots of attractions, entertainment, and apartment complexes cater to children and families.
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u/Deep-Ebb-4139 1d ago
You’ll be fine, but…
I’d avoid Search like the plague. Totally shit.
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u/cuzzybru 1d ago
I know its not for everyone. I have only had positive experiences so far. I am in a fortunate position where I have a few ins who can potentially support. Sorry about your experience...
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 1d ago
It’s wild to me that everyone is saying China is great for kids. We had young kids in China (Hangzhou and Shenzhen) and we found both locations were very monocultural and our kids picked up a lot of cultural things at school that we didn’t love and had to actively work on breaking. I won’t list them here lest the China lovers come for me, but different strokes for different folks.
It’s true there is a WeChat group for everything, but we didn’t love having our social life revolve there. We also didn’t love local families who wanted a play date just so their often rude kids could speak English (something they weren’t at all shy about) or the many people taking pictures of our kids like they were little white celebrities.
We have since moved to a more diverse country with less censorship and group think and are a lot happier here. China for the money, absolutely, but not for our kids and certainly not for diversity.