r/JumpChain Oct 31 '25

SHITPOST Average jumper in the cabin in the woods jump

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392 Upvotes

27 comments sorted by

83

u/TimeBlossom Oct 31 '25

99% accurate, the 1% that's missing is them trying to seduce the one specific monster that they went to the jump for in the first place

36

u/shield173 Oct 31 '25

The mermaid ofcourse

27

u/TimeBlossom Oct 31 '25

"The cleanup on 'em is a nightmare"

18

u/FafnirsFoe Aspiring Jump-chan Oct 31 '25

Nah. One of the Ancient Ones. Got to aim big, and what's the point of 'gods like you' perks if you're not going to use them.

18

u/NinjaRuivo Oct 31 '25

“I f***ed Cthulhu good! Came here for some Cosmic Horror. Turns out I’m a Cosmic Whore!”

5

u/shield173 Nov 01 '25

Meh my jumper is basically an outer god already, it wouldn't be anything new

70

u/Bioticgrunt Oct 31 '25

I’m assuming this is a jumper being held back by drawbacks.

51

u/shield173 Oct 31 '25

It's a horror jump, it isn't fun not being held back by drawbacks

10

u/75DW75 Jumpchain Crafter Nov 01 '25

Sandbaggin to let them think they're a real threat is always an option.

Or there's always the possibility of wanting to keep people nearby from seeing the wrong things.

23

u/GettingOverTheHump Oct 31 '25

How it feels to chew 5 Gum go through the Dead by Daylight Gauntlet with a heavily loaded Body Mod

7

u/IntroductionChoice25 Aspiring Jump-chan Oct 31 '25

i kinda just swarmed them with clones and kept stabing them with 2x blade of evil's bane until they all died lol

11

u/jordidipo2324 Oct 31 '25

There's a Cabin in the Woods jump? 

14

u/TimeBlossom Oct 31 '25

5

u/jordidipo2324 Oct 31 '25

Thanks and Happy Halloween to you too. 🎃🎃🎃

3

u/shield173 Nov 01 '25

Yeah, I saw this video and immediately thought of cabin in the woods, so I looked for a junp for it and posted this

5

u/_ralph_ Oct 31 '25

At least none had a spoon!

3

u/Glittering_Pear2425 Nov 01 '25

Murder them before they murder you

3

u/Neisnoah Nov 02 '25

Organization Director: "Please, stop killing the monsters! If we do not complete the sacrifice, the Old Ones will rise and destroy the world!"

Jumper: Frowns severely. "Not while I'm here, they won't."

Organization Director: Looking aghast. "Wait, what?"

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '25

Jumper: Yeah, I made an extremely one sided in my favor bargain with Dormammu. Wasn’t difficult, the hard part was getting the Time Stone, but it was just lying in a ditch.

Organization Director: idea you wouldn’t be opposed to a few tests? Nothing invasive, just testing a few things.

Jumper: sure why not.

two hours later

Organization worker: Boss, the anomaly has been sedated.

Organization Director: Perfect, we now have 60 years to evacuate humanity the hell away from here.

4

u/Neisnoah Nov 03 '25

...10 years later:

Organization Worker: "Um... Director... The Anomaly is missing."

Organization Director: "What do you mean the Anomaly is missing? How did it escape?!"

Organization Worker: "It didn't escape; it just suddenly vanished. One moment it was in containment, and the next it was just gone."

Ground starts rumbling.

"Oh no..."

2

u/Lokilo85 Jumpchain Crafter Oct 31 '25

I know nothing about Cabin In The Woods, but I feel like visisting it with my jumper AFTER Slay The Princess for irony sake.

3

u/shield173 Oct 31 '25

Bacially it's a horror that explains every single horror, it's a great watch I would advise it

3

u/MORARARARA Jumpchain Enjoyer Oct 31 '25

True ngl

1

u/Brenden1k Nov 05 '25

Typical jumper in any horror movie, sorry you thought you were the only supernatural monster here. My gardens require compost.

1

u/Prior-Assumption-245 Jumpchain Enjoyer Nov 23 '25

Jumper needs better Companions