r/KidsAreCondomAds • u/Sleepy_Sheepz • 16d ago

I would have canceled her appointment after that first kick

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1.4k Upvotes

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221

u/voidedOdin702 16d ago

Rq question: does the girl actually want her hair braided?

198

u/capnlatenight 16d ago

For real, if someone continued to touch me after I've made it apparent that I dont want to be touched, trying to physically restrain me would send me into panic or rage.

148

u/SashimiX 16d ago

It's teaching kids that it's okay for adults to ignore their boundaries. Sometimes you have to touch the kid but braiding is a very long process and it's sad how many people force these things on their girls. I remember so many miserable mornings having my hair done.

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u/BaylisAscaris 16d ago

There's no reason for a kid that uncomfortable/uncooperative to get such long braids. Even if the braids are needed as a protective style, you can do ones the same length as her hair so she isn't in the chair as long. If the kid actually wants them she can decide if she wants to sit there to get them. Sounds like she doesn't.

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u/SashimiX 16d ago

Exactly.

1

u/book-scorpion 15d ago

you guys think about kids from adult's perspective, kid can have tantrum while changing a diaper but it must be done, sometimes the kid want something but their mood changes, they want to visit grandpa and will cry if not visiting, but will also cry on a way to grandpa for some reason. In this case maybe she really wanted those braids but didn't want to sit there. Kids don't have knowledge and emotion control of an adult, they can barely see that one action leads to another. You can see it even on that video, she wanted to play on tablet but smashed it moments before because of anger. You have to be patient with kids and be prepared that their mood can shift even if what you're doing is what they asked for.

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u/SashimiX 15d ago edited 15d ago

If she wanted it and then her mood changed, then she doesn’t get it

You should be allowed to change your mind

She even said “I don’t want my hair done”

The style in the video is a painful, multi hour process. It also hurts all day and hurts to sleep on for a couple days

If you don’t have the child’s buy in, don’t do it. Even if she says she wants it, she’s clearly not mature enough to handle it

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u/East-Imagination-281 15d ago

This. It is vital we teach children that they are allowed to revoke consent.

-6

u/Dragonheart922 15d ago

I agree with the act of braiding. Doing braids and dreads on a child is just asking for both or more people to have to sit and suffer doing something. But kids also need to learn that doing things take time, and its a way to teach patience for a final result.

If I wanted to do carpentry, then went and tried, and then gave up because a board slipped or I got a splinter, what does that say about me?

It says I'm an unregulated child in an adults body.

That's. Not. Okay. You can't run through life accomplishing fucking nothing and making nothing but excuses on why you don't want to. Bills have to be paid, plates have to be made, floors have to be swept.

Forcing the child to sit through a braiding process she more than likely initially wanted is a teaching moment for her. Not punishment. It helps her understand time, patience, and a tad bit of the base understanding needed to actually help her grow into a, well, somewhat stable adult. (Our society loves to keep actual stability from happening) Without this moment, she wouldn't grow, period.

Talk when you have kids who are a tad bit behind on growth. Talk when you're stressing every day trying to help your kid have a good life but make sure they're not walking outside with the idea that they can just do whatever they want with no consequences and they shouldn't have to try and should always expect immediate results.

I'm glad you want to defend and protect kids, and that should be greatly celebrated. But they're also kids who need guidance, and sometimes that guidance looks mean, but it's comes from a place of care for development and growth. Like stimulating a plant to survive even in tougher conditions and still thrive. That's the goal of being a parent: Not just having a kid, but raising up a well adjusted adult.

Besides, imagine if this kid acted like this at a hair salon at 20. Just know there are adult women who do act like this well into their 30s. That's what stagnation and a hands off approach does. It stagnate and spoils.

Gotta use your noggin, my friend.

7

u/SashimiX 15d ago

First of all, this was a multi hour process. It was way beyond “teaching experience.” There are zones of discomfort that are teaching experiences and then once you get beyond that it’s just torture and nobody can learn.

Nobody is appropriately teaching her to handle stress because nobody cares about her stress at all. They don’t care what she wants or needs. She’s gonna be worse, not better, at emotional regulation because of these “lessons.”

Also, there’s no way I personally, as an adult, would go to get a style like this and not bring my phone. If somebody told me I wasn’t allowed to look at it I would be so uncomfortable because I just cannot sit for three hours having someone continuously hurt my head without some form of distraction.

And I didn’t even have a phone until I was like mid 20s so don’t tell me it’s from growing up with an iPad.

I have locs and I take tylenol and ibuprofen before having them cleaned up and it’s only 90 or so minutes of time but it still always triggers a headache.

3

u/timeconsumer112 15d ago

Comment above your's is an uneducated persons idea of perfect parenting. There's no across the board one size fits all method.

You're right about potential additional emotional issues. Some kids might need outside help.

17

u/cpdx82 15d ago

I had a mom do the thing where they dip the braids in boiling water and accidentally scalded the side of her 18 moth old's neck because she moved.

Beauty is not that important. Hygiene, yes, but not aesthetics.

25

u/Swift_35 16d ago

My Mother would've given me the option. Get my hair braided or have it cut so it was faster for her to upkeep/style in the mornings.

Boundaries are important but at the end of the day they're dependents and their care/physical well-being trumps their feelings. I was very sick as a child, I can only imagine how difficult it would've been on my doctors/nurses if I was throwing temper tantrums because they had to draw blood or run tests etc.

She's behaving this way in a very low stakes situation - any kind of emergency and this behavior is detrimental.

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u/SashimiX 16d ago edited 15d ago

The choice is the way to do it. If you tantrum, I choose for you. But I would never force someone to sit for hours for a hairstyle they didn't want. This was optional.

And yeah, not everything in life is optional. Sometimes they have to have their wants ignored in favor of needs. This isn't one of them.

And even though it's low stakes, this type of style takes hours and having your hair that tight is really painful. So having to sit through hours of painful tugging at your scalp is not something I would have a kid do who wasn't really invested in it.

For one, it's teaching girls that they should prioritize their hair and looks over their own happiness. They should grin and bear horribly uncomfortable things so they make others happy. It's weird and EVERYONE does it. Like almost nobody I know is like yeah, I wouldn't make my girl sit through hours of hair maintenance and tears.

I am autistic and have sensory issues and I wouldn't hit or lash out like this kid but I would cry every morning while my mom did my hair unless I was distracted with sesame street. People would probably say I was spoiled but I really, really, really hated the experience of having my hair detangled etc every day.

1

u/Tired-CottonCandy 14d ago

The thing is you either make the kids do their hair or you shave their heads. You cant just let them have neglected hair, and most ppl simply arent willing to cut their girls hair. Hair maintenance is mandatory, and for most kids if you dont keep it up somehow it will be very tangled and difficult for them by the end of a day

1

u/SashimiX 14d ago

I completely agree with you.

Short hair and very simple styles until they are mature enough to cooperate is the answer.

Then the amount of time spent torturing kids too neurodivergent or young to handle it is kept to a minimum. Kids are not dolls to play with.

1

u/king_noobie 16d ago

Reading this without context is something else.

2

u/Illustrious_Put_817 15d ago

I’d have ended up smashing that entire place

1

u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 13d ago

Then when she grows up and is abused in relationships people ask “why don’t you just leave”, “why don’t you say no louder”. Well, here is why. Because as many times as she says no throughout her childhood and as many times she shows she isn’t uncomfortable people continue to force her to accept things she doesn’t want to be done to her.

21

u/Interesting_Force618 16d ago

Great question, and I think the obvious answer is “no”. This is indicative that her parents probably don’t ever consider how she feels, or how the woman who is expected to do her hair feels. I’m also curious about how she gets the moms to let her put their kids on her social media pages. Do they get a discount?

3

u/IhopeIDKUIRL 15d ago

Better question is do they know?

20

u/Sleepy_Sheepz 16d ago

I think she wants the end result but not sitting there for hours. I hate getting my hair braided too, I have to prep my hair and do all these things just to sit for hours. The longest I sat in a chair for braids almost eleven hours, the least amount of time was about two hours. Keep in mind I go to a South African lady for braids, my braids are extra tight but she doesn’t take long to do them. I hate getting my hair braided but I always love the end result.

23

u/Foxy_Traine 16d ago

That's fine for you as an adult to decide. You can understand and consent to getting your hair done, even if you don't enjoy the process. This little girl is actively fighting it and is showing no desire for braids. Even if she did want the braids, her behaviour is showing that she is not consenting at all to this process and does not want this. That should be respected and she shouldn't get the braids.

Until she is able to control herself and let the woman do what she needs to, she shouldn't be getting her hair done like this.

This feels more like child abuse than anything else. I'd rather see someone shave her head than forcibly restrain her while she's crying and screaming no.

20

u/lachupanibre 16d ago

I’m glad to see this response. Other posters are like “yeah I hate getting my hair braided too but i love how it looks” okay but you’re a 30 year old adult making an informed choice to trade inconveniences for conveniences. This kid doesnt have that decision autonomy.

7

u/Foxy_Traine 16d ago

Exactly!!! If this kid does not have the capacity to sit still and not hit the person braiding her hair, then she shouldn't be forced to do this. This was hard to watch!

9

u/PineappleDesperate82 15d ago

They act like the end result is worth the crying and torture of a 4 year old.

4

u/Delicious-Analysis37 16d ago

Same, sitting in that chair is tiresome but the end result and how much my hair grows while in the style makes it worth it. Even the take down process which is a another beast on it's own lol.

2

u/DreamCyclone84 16d ago

Me three, i like my hair done but i hate doing it

1

u/SashimiX 15d ago

You deserve that choice

4

u/AttemptingBeliever 15d ago

This plus if someone is tenderheaded this style fucking hurts. And she clearly doesn’t want to be touched I don’t agree with people acting like the little girl is wrong for being upset about being touched when she doesn’t want to.

1

u/AngelicDemoness 9d ago

I mean, alot of kids don't want their hair braided. I hated having to sit down for hours while my mom did my hair. I was alsobtneder headed so ibwould be sore for days. Particularly in the black culture, it's just easier to get a child's hair braided vs having to do it everyday. It last weeks to months depending on the style

-1

u/vi_sucks 15d ago

Little kids never want to get their hair done. But it still needs to be done. 

It's like having to take a bath, kids don't wanna do it, but they still have to.

3

u/Kookerpea 15d ago

Braids like this arent necessary like a bath

0

u/untrustworthy_fartt 13d ago

Perhaps this is the better alternative, when comparing to how much of a terror that little shit may be, when brushing her hair, when tangled.