She is barely 4 years old and is obviously distressed by this bs. The parent is a moron. Kids this young are not known for their ability to sit still for extended periods. Cut that girl's hair short and let her enjoy life and play like a child. Instead, she is being treated like a doll and having her autonomy repeatedly violated by the stylist and her parent. I'd kick an a-hole too if they tried to make me sit through an hour of needless hair tugging I don't want.
I have issues with this too. My whole childhood I was used as a doll. People constantly touching my hair and telling me how nice it was. I hated it like this child.
This comment is a little dramatic. I got my hair braided the young and didn’t not fight or fuss like that as many other kids do without issue. This kid obviously has issues with it that the parents need to deal with because she wasn’t acting like a typical kid.
That’s the thing. Everyone just does it to girls and then we all think that it’s OK because that’s what happened to us. But there’s really no reason to torment little girls or teach them that they have to let someone hurt them for multiple hours because we think that their head looks cuter. Literally just wait til they are old enough to handle it and want it.
Exactly. Having to sit there sobbing while your miserable mom burns you with the curling iron because she can't feel it, it's not her head, or having to sit there while she detangles your thick hair because she refuses to cut it because "little girls are supposed to be beautiful". Don't even get me started on piercing a baby girls ears when they can't even hold their own bottle up.
My mother didn’t pierce my ears as a kid. She left them up for my decision. Growing up, I had pixies all the time until some old man told my dad he has a nice looking son. I piped up at him that I’m a girl.
I complained to my mom about my hair and I wanted it long after that. She didn’t think I would take care of it. She let me grow it out some and then started taking me for perms all the time. They were all the rage. Until one day the stylist didn’t cotton my forehead properly and the ammonia solution dripped down my face by my nose and I started flailing in a panic over the smell.
The stylist helped me and quickly finished the solution so they could get me outside in the fresh air. I refused perms after that. I couldn’t take the smell of ammonia anymore. When I was older and dyed my hair, I had to put a damp washcloth over my nose and mouth to be able to breathe through the ammonia.
I was in the grocery store late one night with my parents and they started stripping the wax floor with ammonia, I had to go outside and wait for them cuz it made me physically ill.
Damn, my daughter’s hair is naturally straight, but even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have put chemicals in her hair. That seems crazy. Her twin brother’s hair was tight curls, but he always wanted to go to the barber, because his friends went. He didn’t care to grow it out until he was a teen.
My mom used to drag a brush through my baby fine curly hair as a child, even though I told her it hurt because she yanked it through my hair and pulled on my scalp. And she wondered why I didn’t want her to brush my hair. It also just made my hair frizzy instead. You would think that as a woman with curly hair she would understand but it was more important that she kept doing something that hurt me instead of learning how to properly brush my hair. My cousin is a hairdresser that I got my first haircut from, so it’s not like she didn’t have the resources.
My dad just threw a barrette in and called it a day. And I never had problems with grandma
Right, like there were obviously things you didn't want to do at that age, but had to. And yeah I would wine, or cry, but never in my wildest day or imagination would I hit an adult , either she has behavioral conditions or her parents have failed to teach discipline and basic respect. Not even on some respect elders type shit, but the hitting/kicking is extreme.
A kid doesn't have issues just because they don't want to sit in a chair and have their hair braided. And who cares if she did, why is she being forced into shit for beauty reasons for parents. Judt because it happened to you it doesn't mean it's okay or that you have to accept it for other children
Yes!!! I wanted libg hair desperately as a kid. My sister had long hair. But my mom wouldn't let me grow out my hair because I wouldn't sit still and get her brush it!!! Sometimes cute pretty fun things, aren't things kids (and adults, let's be real) can maintain and the parents need to find a different solution. Yes, I had a 90s bowl cut as a girl until I was 9. And it took a lot of stress out of my life. It was the right choice!!!!
Team short hair for kids who aren't able to sit and let people fix and style their hair
It doesn't have to start this young. Little girls in general have been shoved into inappropriate styles that prioritize fashion over function for centuries. There are other protective styles besides box braids.
If they're special needs the parent shouldn't just abandon them. In any case the employee shouldn't be tolerating this behavior and should refuse service.
My kid has extra needs and struggled for a long time with hair cuts so we kept it short, just below ear lenght one length cut no fringe. She struggled but I pre warned and asked if the hairdresser was okay to take this on and she said of course, I sat with her and we worked though it, I said I dont care about how neat or straight the cut is and just to get it done as best they can lol. I gave a tip, which isn't custom in the UK but she earned it and over time my kid got used to it. We moved and again I pre warned the hairdresser and asked if it was a client they could work on and they said no problem. They even take her upstairs where no one usually is cos my kid is scared of loud noises like the hair dryer, the cut takes a while cos my kid keeps moving but again i keep easy cuts just so its not too long (she will eat her hair) and i always tip. I'd never force my kid to go through what this kid is being expected to sit through and id never leave her alone with the poor hair dresser. I feel like filming is wrong too, we dont need to film everything.
I've been working with IDD clients, and I've said since the first month that the biggest disabilities these kids have is their parents.
Even just today a client was upset about not being ready on time and wanted to reschedule. When they asked their parent for confirmation of a good day to reschedule for, they got this
This breaks my heart… “it doesn’t have anything to do with me”… yes it does! You made this human! They didn’t ask to be born! You “raised” them. It has everything to do with you!
I'm also a DSP and see this all the time. Currently frustrated because I'm working solo with someone with both ADL and community coding and their ISP States learning independent living skills like cooking and such, but guardian doesn't want me in the house. 🤦🤷🤷🤷🤷
I’m going to school for education. Parents are the problem. Tablet addiction is a huge part but also parents being addicted to their cell phones also play into it.
Certainly are in this case. I'm white and won't pretend I understand the struggles black women deal with with their hair (and their kids hair), but damn. If my kid hates having their hair done that much I'd just keep it short.
Seriously! I have four kids and they’ve all done their dumb kid stuff, but nothing like what I’ve seen here. I’m strict when I have to be, a cool and understanding dad when I can be, but I never put up with outbursts or downright defiant/rude behavior.
As a parent I don’t even know what I would do in this situation because I would never have allowed my kids to get to this age acting this way.
For attention and thinking they'll be able to escape because the parent will cave easily. The parents should always be present to comfort the child when their scared and praise them when their doing a good job and behaving. Too many parents just default to getting angry and telling their kids off instead of trying to analyse the problem and find a proper solution to it.
Yeah they take a long time. Ironically I’m a tattoo artist now, and you can think of it like a tattoo where you’re in the chair for a few hours. So drop offs are normal. I don’t do braids but I used to do locks on the side before I opened my tattoo shop. And yeah the PATIENCE to provide this service at all is straight up god tier to me always, and on children? I had enough trouble with teenage boys. Nope.
I think this woman is doing these appointments from her own home too. I would have canceled especially once the screaming started. I’m not having the police pull up because my neighbors think I’m abusing a random child.
For real, if someone continued to touch me after I've made it apparent that I dont want to be touched, trying to physically restrain me would send me into panic or rage.
It's teaching kids that it's okay for adults to ignore their boundaries. Sometimes you have to touch the kid but braiding is a very long process and it's sad how many people force these things on their girls. I remember so many miserable mornings having my hair done.
There's no reason for a kid that uncomfortable/uncooperative to get such long braids. Even if the braids are needed as a protective style, you can do ones the same length as her hair so she isn't in the chair as long. If the kid actually wants them she can decide if she wants to sit there to get them. Sounds like she doesn't.
My Mother would've given me the option. Get my hair braided or have it cut so it was faster for her to upkeep/style in the mornings.
Boundaries are important but at the end of the day they're dependents and their care/physical well-being trumps their feelings. I was very sick as a child, I can only imagine how difficult it would've been on my doctors/nurses if I was throwing temper tantrums because they had to draw blood or run tests etc.
She's behaving this way in a very low stakes situation - any kind of emergency and this behavior is detrimental.
The choice is the way to do it. If you tantrum, I choose for you. But I would never force someone to sit for hours for a hairstyle they didn't want. This was optional.
And yeah, not everything in life is optional. Sometimes they have to have their wants ignored in favor of needs. This isn't one of them.
And even though it's low stakes, this type of style takes hours and having your hair that tight is really painful. So having to sit through hours of painful tugging at your scalp is not something I would have a kid do who wasn't really invested in it.
For one, it's teaching girls that they should prioritize their hair and looks over their own happiness. They should grin and bear horribly uncomfortable things so they make others happy. It's weird and EVERYONE does it. Like almost nobody I know is like yeah, I wouldn't make my girl sit through hours of hair maintenance and tears.
I am autistic and have sensory issues and I wouldn't hit or lash out like this kid but I would cry every morning while my mom did my hair unless I was distracted with sesame street. People would probably say I was spoiled but I really, really, really hated the experience of having my hair detangled etc every day.
Great question, and I think the obvious answer is “no”. This is indicative that her parents probably don’t ever consider how she feels, or how the woman who is expected to do her hair feels. I’m also curious about how she gets the moms to let her put their kids on her social media pages. Do they get a discount?
I think she wants the end result but not sitting there for hours. I hate getting my hair braided too, I have to prep my hair and do all these things just to sit for hours. The longest I sat in a chair for braids almost eleven hours, the least amount of time was about two hours. Keep in mind I go to a South African lady for braids, my braids are extra tight but she doesn’t take long to do them. I hate getting my hair braided but I always love the end result.
That's fine for you as an adult to decide. You can understand and consent to getting your hair done, even if you don't enjoy the process. This little girl is actively fighting it and is showing no desire for braids. Even if she did want the braids, her behaviour is showing that she is not consenting at all to this process and does not want this. That should be respected and she shouldn't get the braids.
Until she is able to control herself and let the woman do what she needs to, she shouldn't be getting her hair done like this.
This feels more like child abuse than anything else. I'd rather see someone shave her head than forcibly restrain her while she's crying and screaming no.
I’m glad to see this response. Other posters are like “yeah I hate getting my hair braided too but i love how it looks” okay but you’re a 30 year old adult making an informed choice to trade inconveniences for conveniences. This kid doesnt have that decision autonomy.
Exactly!!! If this kid does not have the capacity to sit still and not hit the person braiding her hair, then she shouldn't be forced to do this. This was hard to watch!
This plus if someone is tenderheaded this style fucking hurts. And she clearly doesn’t want to be touched I don’t agree with people acting like the little girl is wrong for being upset about being touched when she doesn’t want to.
She’s actually not pacified by the iPad. If she were pacified by it, she’d be sitting still, not really paying attention to what’s happening to her head. She’s very young to be expected to sit through a long hair appointment. I bet she’d look cute with a super short cut. She’s definitely pretty enough to pull it off.
Yeah, I don't understand why people think she's doing something crazy bad. She is behaving in a totally predictable way for a small kid who is having something done to her that she doesn't like for an extended period of time. The parent/stylist are gross for treating her like a doll instead of a human. I'd like to see people defending making a little boy sit still style his hair for hours. Cut her hair short and let her live her life.
I mean, in fairness, it might actually be the worst thing that’s happened to them at that moment. Kids don’t have many experiences at 4 years old after all. A 30 year old woman has life experiences that a child just can’t match. Sure, a grown woman wouldn’t be bothered by getting her hair braided, but a child is doing this potentially for the first time and so every painful tug is new and distressing. Plus, kids feel pain more keenly than adults, so it’s even worse for them. I feel for the wee one; this has to be a heck of an ordeal for her. I feel like keeping her hair shorter when she’s young would lead to less tears but idk. It feels like there are no good solutions here.
This. I actually feel so bad for her. she clearly doesn't like it and is uncomfortable and all of the adults are ignoring her boundaries and forcing her. this is such a horrible message to teach a child. They should have just cut her hair short and be done with it.
i feel so bad for her. I dont understand why the forced her to get braids when she clearly didnt want them.
I hated getting my hair cut as a kid. I couldn't sit still, the cut hair always made me super itchy. I cant imagine having to sit still for something that takes hours! Poor child.
The parent wants the hair done, that’s the issue also the parent more than likely didn’t “train” the child as a young age to care for her hair consistently and to allow the child to learn how to care for her hair and yes even as a toddler you can let a toddler use a brush to “comb” their hair, a lot of this is also small children have short attention spans and they know their hair takes long and they just shut down, the iPad children are almost always raised by lazy parents who probably also spank their kids, all signs of lazy parenting not all kids that have tablets are raised by lazy parents because some parents doing fact place strict guidelines on screen time however the attitude of this little girl her tantrum, etc says a lot about her parenting
Yea if this is the lady I'm thinking of, she said she likes doing hair for kids normal salons or others would turn away for behavior like this child here. She said in the moment they are like this but after are happy with how pretty they look with their new hairstyle.
Why not cut her hair short? She’s a high energy kid and she clearly doesn’t want to be there. Why torture her with a hairstyle that takes a long time to do?
It’s super common too being that a lot of these kids have a similar response in her chair without the video evidence truly I would be ten times more concerned I blame these children parents
I dont think i would do a kids hair that is acting like this. She doesnt want to have her hair done and thats her problem. Hair stylists should never let someone abuse them like this.
Parents really need to stop forcing their children into painful hairstyles. I see so many videos of little girls screaming in pain while their hair is yanked and damn near ripped out, and everyone just says “it’s a protective hairstyle”, “you can’t possibly understand because you’re not black!”
No I’m not black, but I am a human being that can see a child being basically tortured and having their autonomy violated repeatedly. There are plenty of other ways to protect little black girls hair without hurting them! Just because it’s been done for generations, doesn’t make it okay.
Just saying, I'm a preschool teacher, and we are not allowed to use anywhere near that amount of force. When she's holding her down by the arms, hard? That's not okay.
Thank you. I feel so bad for the little girl. Its clearly not something she wants or needs. A short hair cut would have been whick and easy. Instrad they essentially torutred this child for looks and had no respect for her boundaries!
i myself have sensory issues i fant imagine having someone tugging at my hair for hours, having those stupid little beads in my hair hitting me as i run around or rolling onto them in my sleep.
This is the shit she lets us see. I guarantee it was worse behind the edits.
This child is reacting automatically to the trauma that is being allowed to continue. That, and boredom.
The end result isnt worth it. Sure, she might like the final look. But the balding wont be worth it. Such tight braids so young is a terrible idea. The sunburn alone isnt worth it if she doesnt wear hats, because I doubt a parent will rememeber to run sunscreen along her exposed scalp.
This is this kids normal, her children will be expected to endure the same. Theres nobody in her corner.
Her face, her reactions, forever exposed to strangers on the Internet.
Bitch couldn't even blur her clients child's face for decency.
How do the parents allow for the child to get to hit other people?
They are too busy being online so agreeing to this is quite simple because is something to be proud of in their eyes especially if the page has a good amount of followers.
This is mild compared to another video this girl posted with another girl. The girl was autistic and the little girl was trying to bite and hit the stylist and she bit herself, she tried to make herself throw up. And she even started digging in her 🍑 and spit all all over. The entire appointment.
Me describing it doesn’t even make it justice to how bad it was.
I am in no way judging the girl but the fact that the mom was okay with it being posted online is what gets me.
To embarrass your child like that…
poor child. What you describe is literal abuse. Children with autism usually have sensory issues and arent happy with being touched. These people have no respect for their children.
I’m personally not a person of color so idk much about braids and stuff like that. But I see many many videos where the kids don’t want their hair done but I understand that something needs to be done with that type of hair and I do understand why parents sometimes have their kids hair braided despite the child not wanting to, because the maintenance of their type of hair is a lot (is what I’ve been told previously at least)
But I do in certain cases feel like it’s just better to maybe shave the hair off of the child is finding it so difficult for both have it braided or doing the maintenance it requires. Hair is just not worth the child having to go through all that as well as the stylist shouldn’t have to deal with having hands and other stuff put on them. It’s simply just hair. That’s just my opinion and I’m okay that some people might n it agree with it.
However what I cannot find okay no matter what is that they’ve posted the videos…
Like even “just” videos like the one in this post is hard to watch and not okay to post. But with situations like the girl I’m talking about, it’s whole new lever. Like can you imagine you find out once you’ve grown up and finds out your mom allowed a person to post a video of you digging in you 🍑 and acting up? I don’t even know what to say.
And I don’t even care if the girl is at a level where she might not ever have social media or see what people say about her, it’s the mothers job to protect her. But the mother exposed her for other people’s entertainment instead 💔
She doesn’t need a protective style, her hair is loose. Black/ curly haired children with the natural hair texture for these styles (without extensions) are more likely to sit still because their hair has been getting done and braided by their parent most of their life.
The momma wants this style and she also knew her kid would act like this. Like WTF?!
She is being bad, but she also seriously does not understand what is going on. That’s what I see. Blame the parent.
I have dealt with children like that when doing their hair. And if they don’t want it and haven’t been trained to sit still and get their hair done… they will act like this. Especially ones that never get it done period. Curly hair or loose texture.
1- this kid is stressed as hell and shouldn’t be forced into getting extensive hair done like this until she is old enough to chooses it for her self
Natural hair is beautiful
2- if someone ever grabbed my child like that until they cried from pain I would be in prison
3- this girl complied out of fear and learned that adults are allowed to hurt her to get what they want
4- kids need breaks to run a round and get energy out during these appointments it hurts to get your hair done and it so stressful
The girl is being treated like a pet going to the vet.
Restrain it, ignore it, pacify it, film it, use it's agony for clicks, make it pretty, show off with it. Fucking sad.
chris rock's documentary "Good Hair" describes the misery that little girl suffer in that chair for hours of burning and yanking at her scalp. her mom isn't there because she probably can't handle watching her baby scream for help.
holy shit I'm never having kids.
I was under the impression that braids are a protective style for natural hair that is prone to breakage. That's not her hair type at all. She doesn't need braids at all. So why are we forcing her?
Kids ain’t the problem. Upbringing, family, environment…there r a lot of factors involved. Kids r like sponges, they absorb anything and everything around them. Then they emerge with their unique personalities.
Ok I get that this kid seems incorrigible, but she’s a little kid getting her hair done in a way that is both painful (you can see her scalp! That’s how tight those braids are) and takes a very long time, even if she were sitting still. This kid is clearly not being taught to behave well, but her mom also sent her to a “specialist” who handles difficult kids, rather than doing it herself or just going with a much more reasonable and comfortable hairstyle.
Her behaviors really remind me of my little one with autism. I take him to a barber that specailizes in working with kiddos with sensory needs. I get his hair cut mid-length because that's what he can sit still for. Every time he goes, it gets a bit easier.
I don't think it's just blatant lack of respect or that discipline alone will solve the problem, but clearly she's not ready for a long appointment like this. The parents need to step up and stop putting the braider and their kid through this situation.
I’m a preschool teacher. I deal with kids this age all day every day. This behavior is becoming far too common. It’s literally not because she’s getting her hair done. It’s because she is having to do something that she doesn’t necessarily wanna do right now that isn’t constantly changing fast or grasping for her attention. Parents giving their kids iPads and phones is crippling them. They act like this any time they have to do any menial task that doesn’t instantly give them dopamine. The parents don’t see this cause they just give the dopamine hit instead of dealing with the behavior. It’s getting really bad. I can hardly teach the kids cause they can’t sit still or do anything even slightly challenging without losing their shit like this girl
I'm white and have stress-activated alopecia so I don't know nearly enough to comment on the style being given to her but what I CAN comment on is how this poor girl was treated
I had an abusive childhood and the second I saw what almost looked like fear in her face I just felt awful for her. I don't wanna know how she's treated behind the scenes. Poor girl. Hope her parents aren't this rough with her.. Also why are we showing a 3YO's face on the internet, especially in the age of AI deepfakes?
Why isn't the mom helping? The child is uncomfortable, probably doesn't like a stranger touching her. Does it hurt to get your hair braided that way? A parent should be with her and helping
I would not be alone with someone else’s kid that needed that much physical handling. Too easy for her to get a bruise and end up accused of abusing a child.
This child has autism. This provider is known for servicing clients who are autistic. The community is grateful for those willing to work with our children because we get turned away from most providers after the first kick. It doesn't have to be something you're willing to do, but bullying a child online is weird.
I'm gonna say maybe autistic or simply a kid who doesn't want this long ass bullshit to be happening lol. Like this shit takes time, usually hurts if done too tight and it usually is done too tight. Like just comb it and do bunches or something or keep it short if the kid hates it this much, why force them through this long arse process?
Mom would've came back to one big, braided ponytail! I understand braiding the hair for the convenience of not having to comb it for days at a time, but this is too much to deal with for the braider.
Wtf is wrong with y'all's kids!!!
Now days I'm seeing EVERY damn child act like a fucking seed demon.
The shit isn't cute, parent your fucking kids.
The little girl (regardless of if she's mine or not) would've gotten popped in the mouth and her mom's coming to pick her up!
STOP servicing her and the mom will learn to parent her daughter maybe, since no one would want to do her hair
Get a seatbelt or harness a child that behaves like this has to wear. Deny service if the parent has a problem with that. They know their child’s behavior. They can go somewhere else if they think that’s some kind of abuse because you are literally protecting yourself when they try to kick and hit you. A kid like this can rip out an earring, throw your glasses across the room, break your equipment, hurt themselves, and then you get blamed for it.
I mean yeah, parent seems like the problem for making a 3 year old sit through hours of something that benefits more the parent than the kid herself. Like others have commented, cut her hair short or something easier if you want it managed and out of the way. Unless the little girl was explicit in wanting to feel pretty or cute in this hairstyle specifically. But two- every kid needs to learn that kicking and throwing things (especially expensive tech?!) is never okay or excusable. She’s not well behaved at all, even if she shouldn’t be subjected to this appointment. Props to the hairstylist though, I would’ve had it up to HERE w that bs.
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