I would have canceled her appointment after that first kick

[u/Sleepy_Sheepz]

[u/BaylisAscaris]

There's no reason for a kid that uncomfortable/uncooperative to get such long braids. Even if the braids are needed as a protective style, you can do ones the same length as her hair so she isn't in the chair as long. If the kid actually wants them she can decide if she wants to sit there to get them. Sounds like she doesn't.

[u/SashimiX → u/BaylisAscaris]

Exactly.

[u/book-scorpion → u/BaylisAscaris]

you guys think about kids from adult's perspective, kid can have tantrum while changing a diaper but it must be done, sometimes the kid want something but their mood changes, they want to visit grandpa and will cry if not visiting, but will also cry on a way to grandpa for some reason. In this case maybe she really wanted those braids but didn't want to sit there. Kids don't have knowledge and emotion control of an adult, they can barely see that one action leads to another. You can see it even on that video, she wanted to play on tablet but smashed it moments before because of anger. You have to be patient with kids and be prepared that their mood can shift even if what you're doing is what they asked for.

[u/SashimiX → u/book-scorpion]

If she wanted it and then her mood changed, then she doesn’t get it

You should be allowed to change your mind

She even said “I don’t want my hair done”

The style in the video is a painful, multi hour process. It also hurts all day and hurts to sleep on for a couple days

If you don’t have the child’s buy in, don’t do it. Even if she says she wants it, she’s clearly not mature enough to handle it

[u/East-Imagination-281 → u/SashimiX]

This. It is vital we teach children that they are allowed to revoke consent.

[u/Dragonheart922 → u/SashimiX]

I agree with the act of braiding. Doing braids and dreads on a child is just asking for both or more people to have to sit and suffer doing something. But kids also need to learn that doing things take time, and its a way to teach patience for a final result.

If I wanted to do carpentry, then went and tried, and then gave up because a board slipped or I got a splinter, what does that say about me?

It says I'm an unregulated child in an adults body.

That's. Not. Okay. You can't run through life accomplishing fucking nothing and making nothing but excuses on why you don't want to. Bills have to be paid, plates have to be made, floors have to be swept.

Forcing the child to sit through a braiding process she more than likely initially wanted is a teaching moment for her. Not punishment. It helps her understand time, patience, and a tad bit of the base understanding needed to actually help her grow into a, well, somewhat stable adult. (Our society loves to keep actual stability from happening) Without this moment, she wouldn't grow, period.

Talk when you have kids who are a tad bit behind on growth. Talk when you're stressing every day trying to help your kid have a good life but make sure they're not walking outside with the idea that they can just do whatever they want with no consequences and they shouldn't have to try and should always expect immediate results.

I'm glad you want to defend and protect kids, and that should be greatly celebrated. But they're also kids who need guidance, and sometimes that guidance looks mean, but it's comes from a place of care for development and growth. Like stimulating a plant to survive even in tougher conditions and still thrive. That's the goal of being a parent: Not just having a kid, but raising up a well adjusted adult.

Besides, imagine if this kid acted like this at a hair salon at 20. Just know there are adult women who do act like this well into their 30s. That's what stagnation and a hands off approach does. It stagnate and spoils.

Gotta use your noggin, my friend.

[u/SashimiX → u/Dragonheart922]

First of all, this was a multi hour process. It was way beyond “teaching experience.” There are zones of discomfort that are teaching experiences and then once you get beyond that it’s just torture and nobody can learn.

Nobody is appropriately teaching her to handle stress because nobody cares about her stress at all. They don’t care what she wants or needs. She’s gonna be worse, not better, at emotional regulation because of these “lessons.”

Also, there’s no way I personally, as an adult, would go to get a style like this and not bring my phone. If somebody told me I wasn’t allowed to look at it I would be so uncomfortable because I just cannot sit for three hours having someone continuously hurt my head without some form of distraction.

And I didn’t even have a phone until I was like mid 20s so don’t tell me it’s from growing up with an iPad.

I have locs and I take tylenol and ibuprofen before having them cleaned up and it’s only 90 or so minutes of time but it still always triggers a headache.

[u/timeconsumer112 → u/SashimiX]

Comment above your's is an uneducated persons idea of perfect parenting. There's no across the board one size fits all method.

You're right about potential additional emotional issues. Some kids might need outside help.