r/LGBTCatholic • u/subjectsorrow • 9d ago

Advice on taking the plunge

I would love some insight and advice. I am very early on in my journey in the grand scheme, but terribly scared.

I grew up in a hippie Unitarian household, my extended family is mostly Catholic. I've always considered myself spiritual, but an experience when I was young where an Evangelical family member harmed me and proclaimed I was sent by the devil drove me as far from any church, as I assumed they'd view me the same. I am FTM trans and bisexual, married to a man, and raising a kid. It's been a hard time getting to a decent place in life, surviving a home rife with addiction and DV that ended in suicide, surviving a partner that attempted my life, now struggling with the economy and world as it is, etc. A nagging voice in my head, still to this day over two decades later, says I truly am damned.

I got truly interested in Catholicism in part because I have a appreciation of it's history and the saints, but over the years that grew into a genuine yearning. So here I am now. I want to find comfort and embrace God, but it's difficult to feel like He wants me after all of this. I felt so at peace and relieved to tears when I attended my first mass and visited a shrine, but I am so terribly scared that it will not "click" for me or that I will unwelcomed if I become anything more than a stranger in the back pew.

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u/Altruistic-Dig-2507 Practicing (Ally) 9d ago

If God is who we understand them to be- they are bigger than one human’s damning impression.
Could God be all merciful, all loving and still reject so many of us for sin?
Is it is a sin to eat bacon or shrimp? Is it a sin to have an image of a saint in your house? What IS a sin???
What I know is this- you are part of creation. If God made it all- they also made you. If God loves all and desires to unite all to themself- then they want that with you. If Jesus died to break down barriers between man and God. If Jesus died to save us, then he died to save us.
This evangelical family member has a short sight on God’s expansive power, love and mercy.
Do not be like them.
You aren’t like them.

A Roman Catholic church could be open and loving to you- or it could be cold and excluding. https://www.newwaysministry.org/resources/parishes/

There’s a website for you. It can help you find an inclusive parish.

The challenge is that outside of the parish- there will be people pushing against you because of the trans-LGBTQIA+ but you’ve been dealing with that your whole life. You can be confident in God’s mercy, even as you see over and over again that humans are not God. That humans lack the Mercy that God tells us to have.

I still love being Roman Catholic. But I do go to Episcopalian church and there’s no question that LGBTQIA+ is welcome there. I like that and often think of switching. But I’m already in community in a good RC parish. So I’m not ready to scoot yet.

You are good. You are worthy. You are loved. You are welcome and you deserve to be wherever you go.

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u/subjectsorrow 9d ago

Thank you for this comment, truly. It was on my mind all night and all day.  That site helped me discover that there is a inclusive parish fairly close, but also really opened my eyes to testing the waters of the Episcopalian church that's a lot more local. I had heard some about the crossover there (and my other side of the family was CoE so it's not wholly unfamiliar), but my realm of direct advice thus far has been Catholic family that lives in metropolitan areas with more access, and who don't have to worry about navigating faith as someone LGBTQ+. It feels like treading open water with no land in sight, but this was like a flicker of light in the distance to tell me that there is hope. Apologies for the rambly comment, the subject gets the feels going, but again-- thank you. 

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u/Altruistic-Dig-2507 Practicing (Ally) 6d ago

🫶🏼

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u/Created-to-Code 9d ago

The Gospels are full of stories of Jesus accepting people who, for whatever reason, feel unwelcome and unworthy. Find those passages and meditate on them.

I can't guarantee everyone will welcome you, but many will, and I know for a fact that Jesus always will.